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do not abhor me, O God, and do not abandon me. I put forward your compassion, I present your mercy and I offer your love for mankind as a mediator to you. (301) I have not toiled, I have not done works of righteousness, I never kept one of your commandments, but I went through my whole life prodigally, yet you yourself did not overlook me, but seeking me you found me wandering, you turned me from the path of error and upon your pure shoulders, with the light of your grace, you lifted me up, Christ, you carried me, O merciful One, and you did not allow me to feel any weariness at all, but resting as if in a chariot you allowed me to travel the rough roads lightly, until you restored me to the fold of your sheep, until you united me with your own and enrolled me among your servants. I proclaim your mercy, I praise your compassion, giving thanks I marvel at the wealth of your goodness; but having been recalled by you, as has been said, my God, and now being, as I think, wholly enslaved, nailed to the light and joined to you, held by my desire for you, bound by love, I am at a loss, I am astonished and I cannot know: how then does affliction touch my wretched soul, how does grief enter, how does it disturb me completely, how does it deprive me of your sweetness, my God, and how does affliction for earthly things separate me from joy? Why, O good One, do you abandon me, who has stumbled and sinned so much, or what have I done to anger you more, my Christ, to be grieved more greatly than before, when my soul was full of passion? Speak and teach me now the depth of your judgments, speak and do not abhor me who speaks unworthily, you who once sat at table with sinners and prostitutes (302) and who dined, Master, with prodigals and tax collectors. To these things the Master answered me and said: I, carrying you as an infant from the world, bore you in my arms—surely you know what I say. I both swaddled you in all your limbs and nourished you with milk beyond food and drink—for the things concerning me are ineffable, altogether inexplicable—and I gave you to a tutor—you know whom I mean—and as a small child you were growing hour by hour

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μηδέ βδελύξῃ με, Θεέ, καί μή ἐγκαταλίπῃς. Τά σπλάγχνα σου προβάλλομαι, τό ἔλεος προτείνω καί τήν φιλανθρωπίαν σου μεσῖτίν σοι προσφέρω. (301) Οὐκ ἔκαμον, οὐκ ἔπραξα δικαιοσύνης ἔργα, οὐδέποτε ἐτήρησα μίαν τῶν ἐντολῶν σου, ἀλλά ἀσώτως ἅπαντα τόν βίον μου μετῆλθον, πλήν αὐτός οὐ παρεῖδές με, ἀλλά ζητήσας εὗρες πλανώμενον, ἐπέστρεψας ἐκ τῆς ὁδοῦ τῆς πλάνης καί ἐπ᾿ ἀχράντους ὤμους σου φωτί τῆς χάριτός σου ἐπανεβίβασας, Χριστέ, ἐβάστασας, οἰκτίρμον, καί κόπου με οὐκ εἴασας ὅλως ἐπαισθανθῆναι, ἀλλ᾿ ἐπαναπαυόμενον ὡς ἐν ὀχήματί με κούφως ὁδεῦσαι δέδωκας τάς ὁδούς τάς τραχείας, ἕως ἀποκατέστησας μάνδρᾳ τῶν σῶν προβάτων, ἕως συνήνωσας τοῖς σοῖς καί κατέταξας δούλοις. Κηρύττω σου τόν ἔλεον, ὑμνῶ τήν εὐσπλαγχνίαν, εὐχαριστῶν θαυμάζω σου χρηστότητος τόν πλοῦτον˙ ἀνακληθείς δέ παρά σου, ὡς εἴρηται, Θεέ μου, καί νῦν ὑπάρχων, ὡς δοκῶ, ὅλος δεδουλωμένος, προσηλωμένος τῷ φωτί καί σοί κεκολλημένος, κρατούμενος τῷ πόθῳ σου, δεδεμένος ἀγάπῃ, ἐξαπορῶ, ἐκπλήττομαι καί γινώσκειν οὐκ ἔχω˙ πῶς ἄρα θλῖψις ἅπτεται ψυχῆς μου τῆς ἀθλίας, πῶς λύπη ἐπεισέρχεται, πῶς ὅλον με ταράττει, πῶς με τῆς σῆς ἀποστερεῖ γλυκύτητος, Θεέ μου, καί τῆς χαρᾶς χωρίζει με ἡ τῶν γηΐνων θλῖψις; Τί με τοσοῦτον πταίσαντα καί ἐξημαρτηκότα ἤ τί σε παροργίσαντα ἐπί πλεῖον, Χριστέ μου, καταλιμπάνεις, ἀγαθέ, τοῦ λυπεῖσθαι μειζόνως ὑπέρ τό πρῴην, ὅτε ἦν ἐμπαθής ἡ ψυχή μου; Εἰπέ καί δίδαξόν με νῦν κριμάτων σου τό βάθος, εἰπέ καί μή βδελύξῃ με ἀναξίως λαλοῦντα, ὁ πάλαι συνεσιαθείς ἁμαρτωλοῖς καί πόρναις (302) καί συνδειπνήσας, ∆έσποτα, ἀσώτοις καί τελώναις. Πρός ταῦτα ὁ ∆εσπότης μοι ἀπεκρίθη καί εἶπεν˙ Ἐγώ ἀπό τοῦ κόσμου σε ὡς νήπιον βαστάσας ἐν ταῖς ἀγκάλαις ἔφερον - πάντως ὅ λέγω οἶδας . Ἐγώ καί ἐσπαργάνουν σε ὅλον μέλεσι πᾶσι καί γάλακτι ἐξέτρεφον ὑπέρ βρῶσιν καί πόσιν ἄφραστα γάρ τά κατ᾿ ἐμέ, ἀνερμήνευτα πάντῃ , παιδαγωγῷ τε δέδωκα - τίνα ὅν λέγω οἶδας - καί ὡς παιδίον σε μικρόν αὐξάνοντα καθ᾿ ὥραν