236

and so he will leave you filled with joy. But little by little the joy will abandon you because of worldly words and reasonings and grief will be added to you, (352) and so again as before you will be vehemently lamenting and crying out with wailing and seeking him, the provider of gladness, the giver of joy, the wealth that stands and is always truly being. As he thus tests your resolve, see that you do not grow weary, O soul, do not turn back, do not say: How long will he be so ungraspable to me? Do not say: Why, appearing, does he immediately hide again, and until when does he not pity the toils he causes me? Do not say: How can I toil until the end? and you grow reluctant, O soul, to seek the Master, but having once given yourself over to death, O soul, do not grope for rest, do not seek glory, nor the body's luxury, nor the friendship of relatives, do not look around to the right, nor to the left at all, but as you began, or rather running more fervently, hasten always to apprehend, to seize the Master. And if ten thousand times he becomes invisible, so many times will he become visible to you, and he who is so ungraspable will be graspable to you, ten thousand times, or rather, as long as you breathe at all, seek more eagerly and run toward him. For he will not leave you, he will not forget you, but little by little he will especially appear more and more often to you, O soul, the Master will be with you and when you are completely purified by the illumination of the light, he himself will come in his entirety, he himself will dwell within, he himself who made the world will also be with you, and you will have a true wealth that the world does not have, but heaven and those inscribed there do. If it becomes so for you, say, what more do you want? Say, ungrateful soul, say, ungracious soul, (353) say, my humble soul, what is greater than these things in heaven or on earth, that you should seek that? The maker of heaven and the Master of the earth and the creator of all things in heaven and all things in the world, being himself the only judge and king, is dwelling in you, being shown to you whole, illuminating you whole with light and revealing the beauty of his face, and to see him more clearly

236

καί οὕτω καταλείψει σε τῆς χαρᾶς πεπλησμένην. Κατά μικρόν δέ ἡ χαρά τοῖς ἐκ τοῦ κόσμου λόγοις καί λογισμοῖς ἐκλείψει σε καί προσέσται σοι λύπη, (352) καί οὕτω πάλιν ὡς τό πρίν ἔσῃ σφοδρῶς θρηνοῦσα καί κοκυτῷ κραυγάζουσα κἀκεῖνον ἐκζητοῦσα, τόν εὐφροσύνην πάροχον, τόν τῆς χαρᾶς δοτῆρα, τόν πλοῦτον τόν ἱστάμενον καί ἀεί ὄντως ὄντα. Οὕτω σου τήν προαίρεσιν δοκιμάζοντος βλέπε, μή ἀποκάμῃς, ὦ ψυχή, μή στραφῇς εἰς τοὐπίσω, μή εἴπῃς˙ Μέχρι πότε μοι ἄληπτος οὕτως ἔσται; Μή εἴπῃς˙ Τί φαινόμενος εὐθύς κρύπτετααι πάλιν καί ἕως πότε κόπους μοι οὐκ ἐλεεῖ παρέχειν; Μή εἴπῃς˙ Πῶς δέ δύναμαι κοπιᾶν μέχρι τέλους; καί κατοκνήσῃς, ὦ ψυχή, ἐκζητεῖν τόν ∆εσπότην, ἀλλ᾿ ὡς πρός θάνατον σαυτήν ἅπαξ, ψυχή, ἐκδοῦσα μή ψηλαφήσῃς ἄνεσιν, μή ἐκζητήσῃς δόξαν, μηδέ τρυφήν τοῦ σώματος, μή συγγενῶν φιλίαν, μή περιβλέψῃ δεξιᾷ, μή εὐωνύμᾳ ὅλως, ἀλλ᾿ ὡς ἐνήρξω, μᾶλλον δέ θερμοτέρως δραμοῦσα σπεῦσον ἀεί καταλαβεῖν, δράξασθαι τοῦ ∆εσπότου. Κἄν μυριάκις ἄφαντος, τοσαυτάκις φανής σοι γένηται, καί ὁ ἄληπτος οὕτως ἔσται ληπτός σοι, μυριοντάκις, μᾶλλον δέ ἕως πνέεις ὅλως, προθυμοτέρως ζήτησον καί πρός ἐκεῖνον δράμε. Καί γάρ οὐ καταλείψει σε, οὐκ ἐπιλήσεταί σου, κατά μικρόν δέ μάλιστα ἐπί πλεῖον φανεῖται καί συχνοτέρως σοι, ψυχή, συνέσται ὁ ∆εσπότης καί καθαρθεῖσαν τέλεον τοῦ φωτός τῇ ἐλλάμψει ὅλος αὐτός ἐλεύσεται, αὐτός ἐγκατοικήσει, αὐτός καί ἔσται μετά σοῦ ὁ τόν κόσμον ποιήσας, καί πλοῦτον ἕξεις ἀληθῆ ὅν ὁ κόσμος οὐκ ἔχει, ἀλλ᾿ οὐρανός καί οἱ ἐκεῖ ἐναπογεγραμμένοι. Εἰ οὕτω σοι γενήσεται, εἰπέ, τί πλέον θέλεις; Εἰπέ, ψυχή ἀχάριστε, εἰπέ, ψυχή ἀγνῶμον, (353) εἰπέ, ψυχή μου ταπεινή, τί τούτων μεῖζον ἔστιν ἐν οὐρανοῖς εἴτ᾿ ἐν τῇ γῇ, ἵν᾿ ἐκεῖνο ζητήσῃς; Τοῦ οὐρανοῦ ὁ ποιητής καί τῆς γῆς ὁ ∆εσπότης καί πάντων τῶν ἐν οὐρανῷ καί πάντων τῶν ἐκ κόσμῳ κτίστης, κριτής καί βασιλεύς αὐτός ὑπάρχων μόνος ἐν σοί ὑπάρχει κατοικῶν, ὅλος δεικνύμενός σοι, ὅλος ἐλλάμπων σε φωτί καί κάλλος ὑποφαίνων τό τοῦ προσώπου, καί αὐτόν ἐκτυπώτερον βλέπειν