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bringing good things with him. For nothing, nothing is more powerful than a reverent and sensible woman for regulating a husband and for molding his soul in whatever ways she wishes. For he will not endure friends, nor teachers, nor rulers in the same way as his spouse when she is exhorting and advising. For the exhortation has a certain pleasure, because the one advising is greatly loved. And I could mention many harsh and disobedient men who have been softened in this way. For she shares with him table and bed and the begetting of children, and things spoken and unspoken, and comings and goings, and she is a partner in many more things besides, and is bound to him in all things, and is so joined 59.341 to him, as it is fitting for a body to be joined to a head, if she happens to be sensible and harmonious, she will surpass and conquer all in the care of her spouse. 4. For this reason I exhort you to make this your work, and to give fitting counsel. For just as she has great power for virtue, so also for vice. She destroyed Absalom, she destroyed Amnon, she was about to destroy Job; she snatched Nabal from slaughter, she saved a whole nation. For both Deborah and Judith displayed the achievements of male generals; and countless other women besides. For this reason Paul also says: For what do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? And in those times too we have seen Persis and Mary and Priscilla taking up the apostolic contests. Whom it is necessary for you also to emulate, and to regulate your spouse not only with words, but also with deeds. But how shall we instruct him through deeds? When he sees that you are not wicked, nor extravagant and fond of adornment, nor demanding superfluous incomes of money, but are content with what you have; for then, then he will also tolerate you when you give counsel. But if you philosophize with words, but in your deeds do the opposite, he will condemn your great nonsense. But when along with your words you also provide him instruction from your deeds, then he will both accept you and be more persuaded; for instance, when you do not seek gold, nor pearls, nor extravagance of clothing; but instead of these, modesty, sobriety, and goodwill, and you introduce these from yourself, and require these from him. For if one must do something to please a husband, one ought to adorn the soul, not adorn and corrupt the body. For wearing gold will not so make her lovely and desirable to him, as will sobriety and goodwill toward him, and being willing to die for her spouse. These things more effectively subdue husbands. For that adornment is also offensive to him, putting his finances in a tight spot, and causing great expense and care; but the things I have mentioned will nail the husband to his wife. For goodwill and friendship and affection cause no cares, nor do they produce expense, but entirely the opposite. And that adornment becomes wearisome by familiarity; but that of the soul blossoms each day, and kindles a greater flame. So if you wish to please your husband, adorn your soul with sobriety, reverence, and management of the house. These things both subdue him more, and never cease. Old age does not destroy this adornment, nor does sickness ruin it. For the adornment of the body, much time has dissolved, and sickness 59.342 consumed, and many other things; but the things of the soul are superior to all these. And that adornment both has envy and kindles jealousy; but this one is pure of that disease, and is free of all vainglory. In this way the affairs of the household will also be easier, and income will come with ease, when the gold is not placed around your body, nor binding your hands, but is set aside for necessary needs; for instance, for the nourishment of servants, and the necessary care of children, and other needful purposes. But if these things are not so, but the jewels are placed on her face, and her heart is straitened, what is the gain? What is the benefit? The grieving soul does not allow the wonder of her appearance to be seen. For you know, you know that, even if someone sees a woman more beautiful than all others, he cannot take pleasure in her while her soul is in pain; for the one who is about to
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καλὰ μεθ' ἑαυτοῦ φέροντα. Οὐδὲν γὰρ, οὐδὲν ἰσχυρότερον γυναικὸς εὐλαβοῦς καὶ συνετῆς, πρὸς τὸ ῥυθμίζειν ἄνδρα, καὶ διαπλάττειν αὐτοῦ τὴν ψυχὴν ἐν οἷς ἂν θέλῃ. Οὔτε γὰρ φίλων, οὔτε διδασκάλων, οὔτε ἀρχόντων οὕτως ἀνέξεται, ὡς τῆς συνοίκου παραινούσης, καὶ συμβουλευούσης. Ἔχει γάρ τινα καὶ ἡδονὴν ἡ παραίνεσις, διὰ τὸ σφόδρα φιλεῖσθαι τὴν συμβουλεύουσαν. Καὶ πολλοὺς ἂν ἔχοιμι λέγειν ἄνδρας σκληροὺς καὶ ἀπειθεῖς καταμαλαγέντας οὕτως. Αὕτη γὰρ καὶ τραπέζης αὐτῷ καὶ εὐνῆς, καὶ παιδοποιίας. καὶ ῥητῶν καὶ ἀποῤῥήτων, καὶ εἰσόδων καὶ ἐξόδων, καὶ πολλῷ πλειόνων κοινωνοῦσα ἑτέρων, καὶ ἐν ἅπασιν αὐτῷ δεδεμένη, καὶ οὕτως αὐτῷ συνημ 59.341 μένη, ὡς εἰκὸς σῶμα κεφαλῇ συνῆφθαι, ἂν τύχῃ συνετή τις οὖσα καὶ ἐμμελὴς, ἅπαντας ὑπερβήσεται καὶ νικήσει εἰς τὴν τοῦ συνοικοῦντος ἐπιμέλειαν. δʹ. ∆ιὰ τοῦτο παραινῶ, ἔργον τοῦτο τίθεσθαι, καὶ τὰ δέοντα συμβουλεύειν. Ὥσπερ γὰρ πρὸς ἀρετὴν, οὕτω καὶ πρὸς κακίαν πολλὴν ἔχει τὴν ἰσχύν. Αὕτη τὸν Ἀβεσσαλὼμ ἀπώλεσεν, αὕτη τὸν Ἀμνὼν, αὕτη τὸν Ἰὼβ ἔμελλεν· αὕτη τὸν Νάβαλ ἐξήρπασε τῆς σφαγῆς, αὕτη ὁλόκληρον ἔθνος διέσωσε. Καὶ γὰρ ∆εββώρα καὶ Ἰουδὶθ ἀνδρῶν στρατηγῶν κατορθώματα ἐπεδείξαντο· καὶ ἄλλαι δὲ μυρίαι γυναῖκες. ∆ιὰ τοῦτο καὶ Παῦλός φησι· Τί γὰρ οἶδας, γύναι, εἰ τὸν ἄνδρα σώσεις; Καὶ ἐπὶ τῶν χρόνων δὲ ἐκείνων τὴν Περσίδα καὶ τὴν Μαριὰμ καὶ τὴν Πρίσκιλλαν ἀποστολικῶν ἁψαμένας σκαμμάτων εἴδομεν. Ἅσπερ ἀναγκαῖον καὶ ὑμᾶς ζηλοῦν, καὶ μὴ ῥήμασι μόνον, ἀλλὰ καὶ πράγμασι ῥυθμίζειν τὸν συνοικοῦντα. Πῶς δὲ αὐτὸν παιδεύσομεν διὰ τῶν πραγμάτων; Ὅταν σὲ μὴ πονηρὰν οὖσαν ἴδῃ, μηδὲ πολυτελῆ καὶ φιλόκοσμον, μηδὲ προσόδους χρημάτων ἀπαιτοῦσαν περιττὰς, ἀλλ' ἀρκουμένην τοῖς οὖσι· τότε γὰρ, τότε καὶ συμβουλευούσης ἀνέξεται. Ἐὰν δὲ φιλοσοφῇς μὲν τοῖς ῥήμασιν, ἐν δὲ τοῖς πράγμασι τἀναντία ποιῇς, καταγνώσεταί σου φλυαρίαν πολλήν. Ὅταν δὲ μετὰ τῶν ῥημάτων καὶ τὴν ἀπὸ τῶν ἔργων παρέχῃς αὐτῷ διδασκαλίαν, τότε καὶ ἀποδέξεταί σε καὶ πεισθήσεται μᾶλλον· οἷον ὅταν χρυσίον μὴ ζητῇς, μηδὲ μαργαρίτας, μηδὲ ἱματισμῶν πολυτέλειαν· ἀλλ' ἀντὶ τούτων κοσμιότητα, σωφροσύνην, εὔνοιαν, καὶ παρὰ σαυτῆς ταῦτα εἰσαγάγῃς, καὶ παρ' ἐκείνου ταῦτα ἀπαιτῇς. Εἰ γὰρ χρή τι εἰς ἀρέσκειαν ποιεῖν ἀνδρὸς, ψυχὴν δεῖ, οὐ σῶμα κοσμεῖν καὶ διαφθείρειν. Οὐδὲ γὰρ οὕτω χρυσίον περικείμενον ποιήσει ἐπέραστον καὶ ποθεινὴν ἐκείνῳ, ὡς σωφροσύνη καὶ εὔνοια περὶ αὐτὸν, καὶ τὸ ὑπεραποθανεῖν τοῦ συνοικοῦντος. Ταῦτα μᾶλλον χειροῦται τοὺς ἄνδρας. Ἐκεῖνος μὲν γὰρ ὁ κόσμος καὶ προσίσταται αὐτῷ, εἰς στενὸν τὰ χρήματα αὐτῷ καθιστὰς, καὶ δαπάνην καὶ φροντίδα πολλὴν παρέχων· τὰ δὲ εἰρημένα προσηλώσει τῇ γυναικὶ τὸν ἄνδρα. Εὔνοια γὰρ καὶ φιλία καὶ πόθος οὔτε φροντίδας παρέχει, οὔτε δαπάνην ἐργάζεται, ἀλλὰ τοὐναντίον ἅπαν. Κἀκεῖνος μὲν ὁ κόσμος ὑπὸ τῆς συνηθείας προσκορὴς γίνεται· ὁ δὲ τῆς ψυχῆς καθ' ἑκάστην ἀνθεῖ τὴν ἡμέραν, καὶ μείζονα ἀνάπτει τὴν φλόγα. Ὥστε εἰ βούλει ἀνδρὶ ἀρέσκειν, κόσμει τὴν ψυχὴν σωφροσύνῃ, εὐλαβείᾳ, προστασίᾳ οἰκίας. Ταῦτα καὶ μᾶλλον χειροῦται, καὶ οὐδέποτε παύεται. Οὐ γῆρας καταλύει τὸν κόσμον τοῦτον, οὐ νόσος ἀπόλλυσι. Τὸν μὲν γὰρ τοῦ σώματος κόσμον χρόνος πολὺς ἐξέλυσε, καὶ νόσος 59.342 ἀνάλωσε, καὶ ἕτερα πλείονα· τὰ δὲ τῆς ψυχῆς πάντων ἐστὶν ἀνώτερα τούτων. Κἀκεῖνος μὲν ὁ κόσμος καὶ φθόνον ἔχει καὶ ζηλοτυπίαν ἀνάπτει· οὗτος δὲ καθαρός ἐστι νοσήματος, καὶ πάσης ἀπήλλακται κενοδοξίας. Οὕτω καὶ τὰ κατὰ τὴν οἰκίαν εὐκολώτερα ἔσται, καὶ ἡ πρόσοδος μετ' εὐμαρείας, ὅταν τὸ χρυσίον μὴ τῷ σώματι τῷ σῷ περικείμενον ᾖ, μηδὲ τὰς χεῖρας δεσμοῦν, ἀλλ' εἰς ἀναγκαίας παραχωρῇ χρείας· οἷον, εἰς διατροφὴν οἰκετῶν, καὶ παίδων ἐπιμέλειαν ἀναγκαίαν, καὶ ἑτέρας χρειώδεις προφάσεις. Ἂν δὲ μὴ ταῦτα ᾖ, περικέηται δὲ αὐτὰ τῇ ὄψει, καὶ ἡ καρδία στενοχωρῆται, τί τὸ κέρδος; ποῖον τὸ ὄφελος; Οὐκ ἀφίησι τὸ ταύτης θαῦμα ὀφθῆναι ἐκείνη λυπουμένη. Ἴστε γὰρ, ἴστε ὅτι, κἂν αὐτὴν πασῶν εὐπρεπεστάτην ἴδῃ τις γυναῖκα, οὐ δύναται τέρπεσθαι ἐν ὀδυνωμένῃ τῇ ψυχῇ· τὸν γὰρ μέλλοντα