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the pure one, the holy one, would he accept it in any way? Away with it,” said God, “may it not be so for me, child! For you know that you too were baptized, but you were defiled and sinned as a child, you went astray as one without sense, and you know how much you wept, how contrite you were, how you renounced the entire world and scarcely, being prevailed upon by the prayers of Symeon your father, from the beginning, in the mind alone, in an intellectual perception, I deemed you worthy of a voice, then also of a ray, (402) and after this I appeared to you lovingly as a radiance. Then I became a small cloud in the form of fire, sitting upon your head from above, and I offered you only the vision of the form, and in your astonishment tears with much compunction, burning away the thickness of the flesh, the gloom of the head, so that from it indeed came the smell of these things as of flesh burned in fire, as you know. The evils after these things and the distress, all that you then endured, you have certainly forgotten. But I indeed know, I who know God and all things, the faith, the humility toward your father and the renunciation of your own will in everything, which is reckoned to me as a martyrdom and is so. For he who does not have his own will by all means dies, but he is found in my will and indeed lives. Scarcely, then, when you were in this state and he every day was constraining with tears me who am good by nature, did I begin to appear to you more frequently, as you know, little by little purifying your soul through repentance and burning up the stored-up matter of the passions, not carnal, not material, but immaterial thorns like clouds, a thick gloom, and mist and darkness, that is, as you were refined by fasting and by the labors of vigil, of prayer, of every hardship, and as you were continually washed by hot tears in prayer, in food, and even more in drink, and with difficulty I made you a receptive vessel, and not only receptive, but also purified, to remain in the midst of fire and be unconsumed—pay attention! Having made you such, therefore, that light which you then saw flying around within you and encircling you (403) entered wholly inside you, though it is unapproachable by nature
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ὁ καθαρός, ὁ ἅγιος κἄν ποσῶς καταδέξῃ; Ἄπαγε, εἶπεν ὁ Θεός, μή μοι γένοιτο, τέκνον! Οἶδας γάρ, ὡς βεβάπτισαι καί σύ, ἀλλ᾿ ἐμολύνθης καί ὡς παιδίον ἥμαρτες, ὡς ἄφρων ἐπλανήθης, καί οἶδας, πόσα ἔκλαυσας, πόσα δέ συνετρίβῃς, πῶς τε τόν κόσμον ἅπαντα ἀπηρνήσω καί μόλις δυσωπηθείς ταῖς προσευχαῖς Συμεών τοῦ πατρός σου, ἀρχῆθεν μόνῳ τῷ νοΐ, ἐν νοερᾷ αἰσθήσει, φωνῆς τε κατηξίωσα, ἔπειτα καί ἀκτῖνος, (402) καί μετά τοῦτο αἴγλη σοι ἐφάνην φιλανθρώπως. Εἶτα νεφέλη γέγονα μικρά πυρός ἐν εἴδει, τῇ κεφαλῇ σου ἄνωθεν ἐπικαθεζομένη, καί θεωρίαν μόνην σοι τοῦ εἴδους παρειχόμην, καί τῇ ἐκπλήξει δάκρυα σύν πολλῇ κατανύξει, φλέγων τό πάχος τῆς σαρκός, τῆς κεφαλῆς τόν ζόφον, ὡς καί καέντος ἐν πυρί ὀσμήν γενέσθαι τούτων κρέατος τοίνυν ἐξ αὐτῆς γενομένην, ὡς οἶδας. Τά μετά ταῦτα δέ κακά καί τήν στενοχωρίαν, ὅσην τότε ὑπέμεινας, σύ πάντως ἐπελάθου. Ἀλλ᾿ οὖν ἐγώ ἐπίσταμαι, ὁ εἰδώς Θεόν πάντα, τήν πίστιν, τήν ταπείνωσιν τήν εἰς τόν σόν πατέρα καί τοῦ θελήματος τοῦ σοῦ τήν ἄρνησιν εἰς ἅπαν, ὅπερ μαρτύριον ἐμοί λογίζεται καί ἔστιν. Ὁ γάρ μή ἔχων θέλημα ἴδιον πάντως θνῄσκει, ἐν τῷ ἐμῷ δ᾿ εὑρίσκεται θελήματι καί ζῇ γάρ. Μόλις οὖν οὕτως ὄντος σου κἀκείνου καθ᾿ ἑκάστην βιάζοντος τοῖς δάκρυσι τόν ἀγαθόν με φύσει, συχνότερόν σοι φαίνεσθαι ἠρξάμην, ὥσπερ οἶδας, κατά μικρόν σου τήν ψυχήν καθαίρων μετανοίᾳ καί καταφλέγων τῶν παθῶν ἀποκειμένας ὕλας, οὐ σαρκικάς, οὐχ ὑλικάς, ἀλλ᾿ ἀΰλους ἀκάνθας ὡς νέφη, ζόφον ὡς παχύν, ὁμίχλην τε καί σκότος, νηστείᾳ λεπτυνθέντος σου δηλαδή καί τοῖς πόνοις τῆς ἀγρυπνίας, τῆς εὐχῆς, πάσης κακοπαθείας, καί ἀενάως δάκρυσι θερμοῖς ἐκπλυνομένου ἐν τῇ εὐχῇ, ἐν τῇ τροφῇ, ἐν τῷ ποτῷ δέ μᾶλλον, καί μόλις σε χωρητικόν ἀπειργασάμην σκεῦος, οὐ μόνον δέ χωρητικόν, ἀλλά κεκαθαρμένον, πυρός ἐν μέσῳ μένειν τε ἀκατάφλεκτον πρόσεχε! Τοιοῦτον οὖν ποιήσας σε, ὅπερ ἑώρας τότε περιπετόμενον ἐν σοί φῶς καί περικυκλοῦν σε (403) εἰσῆλθεν ὅλον ἐντός σου ἀπρόσιτον ὄν φύσει