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was not found. From the garments which my third sister had, suitable for the occasion and for the state of widowhood, she having long been familiar with sorrows, the empress took some and dressed herself, and placed the simple and dark veil on her head. And during these things, the emperor released his sacred soul to God, and my sun set. Upon..... those not overcome by emotion lamented with their voice, they beat their breasts, wailing sorrowfully they sent up their cries to heaven ......... bewailing their benefactor, the one who ........ all things for them. 15.11.21 And so even now I distrust myself, whether I am living and writing and remembering the death of the emperor, and I touch my eye, lest perhaps what is now dictated by us is a dream, or if it is not a dream, but a trance and derangement and a wonderful and strange affliction upon me. For how, when he had departed, am I counted among the living and with... the living? Or how did I not also release my soul, or, as soon as he expired, expire with him and perish senseless? And if I had not suffered this, how did I not push it from some high and lofty place, or cast it into the waves of the sea? To great calamities I have... written my life. But this is not, it seems, according to tragedy, a suffering and calamity sent by the gods, the burden of which I could not bear. For thus God has made me an abode of great calamities. I have lost such a great luminary of the world, the great Alexios; and yet the soul was guardian of the wretched body. 15.11.22 The greatest lamp has been extinguished, or rather that all-luminous moon, the great affair and name of East and West, the empress Eirene. And yet we live and breathe the air. Then, when one evil after another occurred and great tempests stormed upon us, we were driven to see the very culmination of evils, the death of the Caesar, and we have been preserved for so many circumstances of evil. For after some days, with the evil prevailing and medical skill giving up, casting myself into a sea of despondency, I was indignant with everything only for this reason, that my soul was still present in my body. And if, as it seems, it had not been of some adamantine nature or a creation of some other ..... and strange nature, I would have perished immediately. 15.11.23 But while living, I died a thousand deaths. We hear of Niobe <that woman>, according to some being fabulously ..... turned to stone through grief ..... Then even after the change that consigns to an unfeeling nature, the suffering is immortal and to an unfeeling nature. But I, it seems, am even more wretched than she, because even after the greatest and last of calamities, I have remained thus to feel still others. It was then toward a lifeless rock ... my... to lack tears I remained ...... thus unfeelingly disposed toward calamities ..... To have endured such terrible things, and to have intolerable evils stirred up against me by men in the palace is more unfortunate even than the evils of Niobe ..... but the terrible things of the .... that have reached to this point ended .....ly. 15.11.24 The calamity of the Caesar and their sufferings would have been enough, on top of both the emperor and empress, for the utter destruction of both our soul and body; but now, like some rivers flowing down from high mountains, the currents of our misfortunes .....ing ..... so as to flood together into one ravine .... my house. At any rate, let the account have an end, lest by writing of painful things we become more embittered.
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οὐχ εὑρίσκετο. Ἐξ ὧν δὲ ἡ τρίτη τῶν ἐμῶν ἀδελφῶν εἶχεν ἀμφίων καταλλήλων τῷ καιρῷ καὶ τῷ πράγματι χηρείας καὶ πάλαι κακοῖς ὁμιλήσασα, λαβοῦσα ἡ βασιλὶς ἀμφιέννυτο καὶ τὴν ἀφελῆ καὶ ζοφώδη κάλυπτραν ἐπέθετο τῇ κεφαλῇ. Καὶ ἐν τούτοις ὁ αὐτοκράτωρ τὴν ἱερὰν ψυχὴν ἀφῆκε Θεῷ, καὶ ὁ ἐμὸς ἥλιος ἔδυ. Ἐφ..... οἱ μὴ ἀπὸ πάθους ἁλισκόμενοι τὴν φωνὴν ἐθρήνουν, ἐκόπτοντο, γοερὸν ἀνοιμώζον τες εἰς οὐρανὸν τὰς φωνὰς ἀνέπεμπον ......... τὸν εὐεργέτην, τὸν τὰ πάντα αὐτοῖς ........ σαντα ἀποκλαιόμενοι. 15.11.21 Ἐγὼ μὲν οὖν καὶ νῦν ἀπιστῶ ἐμαυτῇ, εἴπερ ζῶ τε καὶ γράφω καὶ μνημονεύω θανάτου τοῦ αὐτοκράτορος, καὶ ἐπαφῶμαι τῷ ὀφθαλμῷ, μήποτε ἄρα ὄναρ ἐστὶ τὰ νῦν ὑφ' ἡμῶν ὑπα γορευόμενα, ἢ δέ γε καὶ μὴ ὄναρ ἐστὶν ἀλλ' ἔκστασίς τε καὶ παρακοπὴ καὶ πάθος περὶ ἐμὲ θαυμάσιον καὶ ἀλλόκοτον. Πῶς γὰρ ἀπορρυέντος ἐκείνου τοῖς βιοῦσιν ἐγὼ συντάττομαι καὶ συν....ζῶσιν ἢ πῶς οὐ συνε παφῆκα καὶ ἐγὼ τὴν ψυχήν, ἢ εὐθὺς ἐκπνεύσαντος συνεξέπνευσα καὶ ἀναίσθητος ἀπωλόμην; Εἰ δὲ μὴ τοῦτο ἐπεπόνθειν, πῶς οὐκ ἀπό τινων ὑψηλῶν καὶ μετεώρων αὐτὴν ὤθησα ἢ κατὰ κυμάτων ἐνέρριψα ποντίων; Συμφοραῖς μεγάλαις τὴν ζωὴν ἀ...έγραψα. Ἀλλ' οὐκ ἔστιν ἄρα κατὰ τὴν τραγῳδίαν πάθος καὶ συμφορὰ θεήλατος, ἧς οὐκ ἂν ἄχθος ἀροίμην ἐγώ. Οὕτω γάρ με ὁ Θεὸς συμφορῶν μεγάλων πεποίηκε καταγώγιον. Ἀπεβαλόμην τοσοῦτον φωστῆρα τῆς οἰκουμένης, τὸν μέγαν Ἀλέξιον· καὶ μὴν ἡ ψυχὴ τοῦ ταλαιπώρου ἐπετρό πευε σώματος. 15.11.22 Ἐπέσβη καὶ ὁ μέγιστος λύχνος, μᾶλλον δὲ ἡ πάμφωτος ἐκείνη σελήνη, τὸ μέγα τῆς ἀνα τολῆς καὶ δύσεως πρᾶγμα καὶ ὄνομα, ἡ βασιλὶς Εἰρήνη. Καὶ μὴν ζῶμεν καὶ τὸν ἀέρα ἐμπνέομεν. Εἶτα ἄλλων ἐπ' ἄλλοις κακῶν γεγονότων καὶ πρηστήρων μεγάλων καταιγισάντων ἡμᾶς, ἐπ' αὐτὸ τὸ κορυφαιότατον τῶν κακῶν ἰδεῖν τοῦ καίσαρος θάνατον ἐπηλάθημεν καὶ τετηρήμεθα τοσαύταις κακῶν περιστάσεσι. Μετὰ γάρ τινας ἡμέρας τοῦ κακοῦ δυναστεύοντος καὶ τῆς τέχνης ἀπαγορευούσης, εἰς πέλαγος ἀθυμίας ἐμαυτὴν διαφεῖσα, τοῖς ὅλοις ἠγανάκτουν τοῦτο μόνον ὅτι καὶ ἡ ψυχή μου παρῆν ἐν τῷ σώματι. Καὶ εἰ μή, ὡς ἔοικεν, ἀδαμαντίνη τις ἦν ἢ ἄλλης τινὸς φύσεως διάπλασις ...... καὶ ξενίζουσα, κἂν ἀπωλόμην εὐθύς. 15.11.23 Ζῶσα δὲ μυρίους θανάτους ἀπέθανον. Νιόβην <δ' ἐκείνην> κατά τινων τερατευομένην ἀκούομεν ..... εἰς λίθον μεταβαλοῦσαν διὰ πένθος ..... Εἶτα καὶ μετὰ τὴν ἀμοιβὴν τὴν εἰς ἀναίσθητον φύσιν παραπέμπουσαν τὸ πάθος ἀθάνατον καὶ εἰς φύσιν ἀναίσθητον. Ἐγὼ δ' ἄρα καὶ κακοπαθεστέρα ἐκείνης, ὅτι καὶ μετὰ τὰς μεγίστας καὶ ἐσχάτας τῶν συμφορῶν μεμένηκα οὕτως αἰσθησομένη καὶ ἄλλων. Ἦν ἄρα πρὸς πέτραν ἄψυχον ἀμει...... τα μου ἀπορέειν δακρύων ἔμενον ...... οὕτως ἀναισθήτως ἔχουσα πρὸς τὰς συμφορὰς ..... Τοσαῦτα ὑπενεγκεῖν δεινὰ καὶ εἰς τὰ παλάτια ἐξ ἀνθρώπων ἐπεγείρεσθαί μοι ἀφόρητα κακὰ δυστυχέστερον καὶ τῶν τῆς Νιόβης κακῶν ..... μὲν μέχρι τοῦδε φθάσαντα τὰ δεινὰ τῆς .....ῶς ἔληξεν. 15.11.24 Ἤρκει ἂν ἐπ' ἀμφοῖν τοῖν βασιλέοιν καὶ ἡ τοῦ καίσαρος συμφορὰ καὶ τὰ ἐκείνων παθήματα εἰς ἐκτριβὴν ἡμετέραν καὶ τῆς ψυχῆς καὶ τοῦ σώματος· νῦν δὲ ὥσπερ ποταμοί τινες ἐξ ὑψηλῶν ὀρῶν καταρρέοντες μο.....σί τε τὰ τῶν δυστυχημάτων ῥεύματα ..... ὡς εἰς μίαν χαράδραν συγκατακλύζουσαν .... τὴν ἐμὴν οἰκίαν. Τέλος γοῦν ὁ λόγος ἐχέτω, μὴ καὶ ἀναγράφοντες τὰ λυπηρὰ πλέον ἐμπικραινοίμεθα.