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your children (and that I speak the truth, the facts have shown on behalf of you, the true shepherd, who laid down his life for his own sheep), so that we might not turn aside anywhere outside of the truth, having perhaps eagerly chosen even to pour out our own blood. This, then, is the supervision of a true shepherd, refuting those of false name and truly showing itself worthy to God and the Father and the chief shepherd. Therefore, the things graciously given to me on account of you I offer to you in some small way; and you are harvesting, like a good farmer, the lean fruits—I know not how else to say it—of the seeds sown for you with great care and abundance. What, then, shall I say further that is suitable and well-pleasing to your holy soul, my sweet father? Who has separated me from your ever-longed-for face, from your sweet-spoken company, from your soul-saving guidance? You are my light, the ever-shining lamp for the dark thoughts in my soul, a staff supporting the weakness of my heart, a change from despondency, an anointing of zeal, good news, joy, a festival, good repute. Without you, even the sun is gloomy to me. I did not wish to see the air, but rather to look upon your countenance. Nothing on earth was sweet to me without your company being present. For what is more desirable than a true father, and this one received in God? A son who loves his father and is truly legitimate knows this. What need is there for many words? I will speak of what I experienced: that often, even when I had not set out to come to your holy cell, somehow imperceptibly, as if someone were drawing me, I would come before your face, so that when you often asked "4Why have you come?"5 I was at a loss to answer, so much did my salvation depend on you. And who does not run toward the light? But I thank God, through whom I was torn from you by the hands of those who have trampled his law and who are excluded from their equals. May the Lord my God not count this sin against them, but may he draw them to a knowledge of their audacity, so that they may give us back our father, and that they themselves may be found blameless in this matter. They shut you up, as we have learned, in a small house, but they have shown you to be an inhabitant of heaven. They stood guard, but they did not perceive: for you are a treasure of confession to God. And from this they might know, if they would but see, that they have made you honored among men and a savior to the world and an object of admiration for many. You have received dishonor and insults with Christ; you were persecuted as one who is blessed; they have scattered your sheep, because they have struck you, the shepherd, as they struck Christ. Though it is bold to say, yet it is his own voice, If they persecuted me, they will also persecute you, and the other things, all that brings a sharing in suffering to those who follow him; for if we suffer with him, as the great Paul says, it is so that we may also be glorified with him. And so much for these things. But to me, the profligate and unworthy one, through your holy prayers, righteous father, the merciful Lord has granted consolation and to be with you in spirit; for I am always as one seeing you and as one speaking with you and as one receiving your prayer and as one being sheltered and as one giving and receiving words for the strengthening of the confession which you have confessed. And I seem to hear these things as your voice sounds: "4Humble Theodore, we are truly afflicted for a little while, since God brings a good hope"5. These things are a comfort to me, these things a refreshment. Do not be afraid, father, for me your servant who am utterly cast away; for I am a pollution of heaven and earth and more despised than any man. But as an unworthy man I dare to say, I am hopeful, looking upward, strengthened by your intercession, not displeased with what I have suffered, but reproaching myself that it was not bravely and according to reason and that it was little and of no worth, looking to the life-giving sufferings of the saints. For I have come across the accounts of many martyrdoms, written down in twelve scrolls, so that my heart was struck and I do not dare to say that I have suffered anything for Christ. And what is sweeter, father, I remind you as a servant, than to suffer for his sake? Look up, father, see the Lord, watch over the angelic companies, gaze upon the choirs of the saints; see upon a throne high and lifted up the judge of the world, who you
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παῖδάς σου (καὶ ὅτι ἀληθεύω ἔδειξε τὰ πράγματα ὑπὲρ σοῦ τοῦ ἀληθινοῦ ποιμένος, τοῦ τὴν ψυχὴν τεθεικότος ὑπὲρ ἰδίων προβάτων), ὡς ἂν μὴ παρατραποῖμεν ἔξω που τῆς ἀληθείας, αἱρησάμενοι τάχα προθύμως καὶ τὸ οἰκεῖον αἷμα κενῶσαι. αὕτη οὖν ποιμένος ἀληθινοῦ ἐπιστασία, διελέγχουσα τοὺς ψευδωνύμους καὶ ὄντως δεικνυμένη τῷ θεῷ καὶ πατρὶ καὶ ἀρχιποίμενι ἐπάξιος. Τὰ διὰ σὲ τοιγαροῦν κεχαρισμένα μοι ὀλιγοστῶς πώς σοι προσάγω· καὶ εἶ δρεπόμενος τοὺς τῶν καταβληθέντων σοι πολυφροντίστως καὶ ἀφθόνως σπερμάτων, ὡς ἀγαθὸς γεωργός, τοὺς οὐκ οἶδ' ὅπως εἴποιμι ἰσχνοφόρους καρπούς. τί οὖν λοιπὸν εἴπω πρόσφορον καὶ εὐαπόδεκτον τῇ σῇ ἁγίᾳ ψυχῇ, πάτερ μου γλυκεῖε; τίς με διέστησεν ἀπὸ τοῦ σοῦ ἀειποθοῦς προσώπου, τῆς ἡδυλαλοῦς συντυχίας, τῆς σωτηριοποιοῦ ὁδηγίας; σύ μου τὸ φῶς, ὁ ἀειφανὴς λύχνος τῶν ἐν ψυχῇ σκοτεινῶν λογισμῶν, ῥάβδος ὑποστηρίζων μου τὸ ἄτονον τῆς καρδίας, ἀθυμίας μεταβολή, προθυμίας ἀλοιφή, εὐαγγέλιον, χαρά, ἑορτή, εὐδοξία. ἄνευ σοῦ καὶ ὁ ἥλιός μοι κατηφής. ἐγὼ τὸν ἀέρα βλέπειν οὐκ ἤθελον ἢ τὸν σὸν προσβλέπειν χαρακτῆρα. οὐδέν μοι ἦν ἡδὺ τῶν ἐπὶ γῆς μὴ παρούσης τῆς σῆς συνουσίας. τί γὰρ πατρὸς ἀληθινοῦ ποθεινότερον καὶ τοῦτο ἐπὶ θεοῦ λαμβανόμενον; οἶδεν τοῦτο παῖς φιλοπάτωρ καὶ ὄντως γνήσιος. τί πολλῶν ῥημάτων χρεία; ἐξείπω ὅπερ ἐπάνθανον· ὅτι μου πολλάκις καὶ μὴ ὡρμημένου ἔρχεσθαι ἐν τῷ ἁγίῳ κελλίῳ σου ἀνεπαισθήτως πως, ὥς τινος ἕλκοντος, ἐπῄειν κατὰ πρόσωπόν σου, ὡς πολλάκις ἐρωτῶντος σου "4τί ἧκες;"5 ἀπορεῖν με ἀποκρίνεσθαι, οὕτω τῆς σωτηρίας μου ἐν σοὶ ἀποκρεμαμένης. καὶ τίς πρὸς τὸ φῶς οὐκ ἐπιτρέχει; ἀλλ' εὐχαριστῶ τῶ θεῷ, δι' οὗ σου ἐξεσπάσθην ὑπὸ χειρῶν τῶν πατησάντων τὸν νόμον αὐτοῦ καὶ ἠργμένων ἐξ ὁμοίων. μὴ αὐτοῖς λογισθείη κύριος ὁ θεός μου τὴν ἁμαρτίαν, ἕλξοι δὲ εἰς ἐπίγνωσιν τοῦ τολμήματος, ἵν' ἡμῖν μὲν ἀποδῶσιν τὸν πατέρα, κἀκεῖνοι περὶ τοῦδε ἀνεύθυνοι εὑρεθῶσιν. ἐνέκλεισάν σε, ὡς ἐμάθομεν, ἐν οἰκίσκῳ μικρῷ, ἀλλὰ τοῦ οὐρανοῦ σε οἰκήτορα ἀνέδειξαν. ἐφρούρησαν, οὐκ ᾔσθοντο δέ· θησαυρὸν γὰρ ὁμολογίας θεοῦ. κἀκ τούτου γνοῖεν δ' ἄν, εἴπερ βλέψοιεν, ὅτι σε τίμιον ἐν ἀνθρώποις ἐγνώρισαν καὶ κόσμῳ σωτήριον καὶ πολλοῖς φιλοθέατον. Ἐδέξω τὰς ἀτιμίας καὶ ὕβρεις μετὰ Χριστοῦ· ἐδιώχθης ὡς μακάριος· διεσκόρπισάν σου τὰ πρόβατα, ὅτι σὲ τὸν ποιμένα ὡς Χριστὸν ἐπάταξαν. εἰ καὶ τολμηρὸν εἰπεῖν, ὅμως αὐτοῦ δὲ ἡ φωνή, εἰ ἐμὲ ἐδίωξαν, καὶ ὑμᾶς διώξουσιν, καὶ τἆλλα, ὅσα τοῖς ἀκολουθοῦσιν αὐτῷ φέρει τὴν ταὐτοπάθειαν· εἴπερ γὰρ συμπάσχομεν αὐτῷ, ὥς φησιν ὁ μέγας Παῦλος, ἵνα καὶ συνδοξασθῶμεν. Καὶ οὕτω μὲν ταῦτα. ἐμοὶ δὲ τῷ ἀσώτῳ καὶ ἀναξίῳ διὰ τῶν σῶν ἁγίων εὐχῶν, πάτερ δίκαιε, ἐχαρίσατο ὁ ἐλεήμων κύριος παράκλησιν καὶ τὸ ἐν πνεύματι συνεῖναί σοι· εἰμὶ γὰρ ἀεὶ ὡς ὁρῶν σε καὶ ὡς ὁμιλῶν σοι καὶ ὡς κομιζόμενος τὴν εὐχὴν καὶ ὡς σκεπόμενος καὶ ὡς διδοὺς καὶ λαμβάνων λόγους εἰς ἕδρασμα τῆς ὁμολογίας ἧς ὡμολόγησας. καὶ δοκῶ σου ἐπαϊούσης τῆς φωνῆς ταῦτα ἀκούειν· "4ταπεινὲ Θεόδωρε, μικρὸν ὄντως ταλαιπωροῦμεν, ἐπεὶ καλὴν φέρει ὁ θεὸς τὴν ἐλπίδα"5. ταῦτά μοι παρηγορία, ταῦτα ἀναψυχή. μὴ δείσῃς, πάτερ, δι' ἐμὲ τὸν δοῦλον σου καὶ παντάπασιν ἀπερριμμένον· καὶ γὰρ εἰμὶ τοῦ οὐρανοῦ καὶ τῆς γῆς μίασμα καὶ παντὸς ἀνθρώπου κατεψυγμένος μᾶλλον. πλὴν τολμῶ λέγειν ὡς ἀνάξιος, εὔελπις, ἄνω βλέπων, ῥωννύμενος ὑπὸ τῆς σῆς πρεσβείας, οὐκ ἀπευδοκῶν εἰς ἃ ἔπαθον, ἐπιμεμφόμενος δὲ ἐμαυτὸν ὅτι μὴ ἀνδρείως καὶ κατὰ λόγον καὶ ὅτι ὀλίγα καὶ οὐδενὸς ἄξια ἀφορῶν πρὸς τὰ ζωοποιὰ πάθη τῶν ἁγίων. ἐγένετό μοι γὰρ πολλῶν ἔντευξις μαρτυρίων ἐν δώδεκα δέλτοις ἀπογεγραμμένων, ὥστε παταχθῆναι τὴν καρδίαν καὶ μηδὲ τολμᾶν λέγειν ὅτι ἔπαθόν τι διὰ Χριστόν. καὶ τί γλυκύτερον, πάτερ, ὑπομνήσκω ὡς δοῦλος, τοῦ δι' αὐτὸν πάσχειν; ἄθρει, πάτερ, ἄνω, ὅρα τὸν Κύριον, ἐπόπτευε τὰς ἀγγελοθεΐας, ἐνατένιζε τὰς ἁγιοχορείας· ἴδε ἐπὶ θρόνου ὑψηλοῦ καὶ ἐπηρμένου τὸν κριτὴν τοῦ κόσμου, ὅς σε