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Marriage is good, but virginity is better; so also a second marriage is good, but the first and only is better than it. We do not, therefore, cast out second marriage, nor do we legislate these things, but we exhort, if anyone is able to be chaste, to remain with the first. And we exhort and advise also for the sake of the security of the house itself; for a second marriage has often become the beginning and pretext of fighting and daily wars. For often a man sitting at table, having remembered his first wife in the presence of the second, has wept quietly; but she immediately grew wild, and like a beast leaped upon him, demanding satisfaction from him for his affection 51.326 toward that other one; and if he should wish to praise the one who has departed, the subject of his praises becomes a pretext for war and fighting. And with enemies who have departed we make a truce, and with their life we also put an end to our enmity toward them; but in the case of wives it is all the opposite. For the one whom she has not seen, of whom she has not heard, from whom she has suffered no harm, this one she hates and turns away from, and not even death extinguishes the hatred. Who has seen, who has heard of dust being an object of jealousy, and ashes being warred against? 6. But the terrible thing does not stop here; but whether children are born from the second, or are not born, again there is war and fighting. For if none are born, she is more greatly pained, and for this reason, she sees those of the first wife as enemies and as having done the greatest injustices, receiving a clearer sense of her own childlessness through their life. But if they are born, again the terrible thing is no less. For the husband, often being affectionately disposed toward the one who has departed, supports these children, both loving and pitying them for their orphanhood; but she wants her own to be preferred everywhere, and wants those children to be not even in the rank of siblings, but of cast-off servants; all of which things could overturn a house, and make life unlivable for the one who has married. For these reasons we exhort, if possible, to be chaste, to be content with the first marriage, and for wives not to bring in new bridegrooms, nor for husbands to bring in new wives, so that the whole house is not overturned. But for what reason, when discoursing about widowhood, was he not content with the first point alone, with saying, The wife of one husband? So that you may learn that what makes a widow is not simply the not marrying a second time alone, but glorying in good works, in almsgiving and love for humankind, and in the care of strangers. For if virginity did not benefit the virgins at all (and yet virginity is much greater than widowhood), but they went away dishonored, the fire of their lamps having been extinguished, since they were not able to show the fruit of love for humankind and almsgiving, how much more the widows. For Paul, having heard that parable, and fearing for these women, uses great precision concerning the matter, so that trusting in their monogamy they might not neglect the rest of virtue; for this reason he says, Well spoken of for good works; for just as virginity is good, but without the other things has become fruitless, and has shut out from the bridal chamber; so widowhood is good, but without the rest of virtue it is vain and superfluous. For this reason Paul did not stop his exhortation at not bringing in a second husband, but also demands other things, many more and greater, from the widow. And just as those who enlist soldiers seek a good condition of body, so also he, enlisting her into the camp of Christ, sought a good condition and vigor of soul and diligence in all good works, saying thus: If she has brought up children, if she has shown hospitality, if she has washed the feet of the saints, if she has relieved the afflicted. 51.327 if she has followed every good work. For each of these seems to be a bare word, but contains much life in itself. 7. And if you please, let us first examine what he himself has placed first: If she has brought up children. For by "brought up" here he does not mean this bare nourishment which is commonly thought of, that is, not to overlook children being destroyed by hunger; for not even the necessity of nature itself allows this ever to be neglected; whence not even

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καλὸν μὲν ὁ γάμος, κρείσσων δὲ ἡ παρθενία· οὕτω καλὸν μὲν καὶ ὁ δεύτερος γάμος, κρείσσων δὲ αὐτοῦ ὁ πρῶτος καὶ μόνος. Οὐ τοίνυν ἐκβάλλομεν δεύτερον γάμον, οὐδὲ νομοθετοῦμεν ταῦτα, ἀλλὰ παραινοῦμεν, εἴ τις δύναιτο σωφρονεῖν, ἐπὶ τῷ προτέρῳ μένειν. Παραινοῦμεν δὲ καὶ συμβουλεύομεν καὶ δι' αὐτὴν τῆς οἰκίας τὴν ἀσφάλειαν· μάχης γὰρ πολλάκις καὶ πολέμων καθημερινῶν ὁ δεύτερος γάμος ἀρχὴ καὶ πρόφασις γέγονε. Πολλάκις γοῦν ἀνὴρ ἐπὶ τραπέζης καθήμενος, τῆς προτέρας γυναικὸς ἀναμνησθεὶς ἐπὶ τῆς δευτέρας, ἐδάκρυσεν ἠρέμα· ἡ δὲ εὐθέως ἠγρίανε, καὶ καθάπερ θηρίον ἐπεπήδησε, τῆς φιλοστοργίας 51.326 αὐτὸν τῆς πρὸς ἐκείνην ἀπαιτοῦσα δίκην· κἂν ἐπαινέσαι τὴν ἀπελθοῦσαν θελήσῃ, γίνεται πολέμου καὶ μάχης πρόφασις ἡ τῶν ἐγκωμίων ὑπόθεσις. Καὶ πρὸς μὲν τοὺς ἐχθροὺς ἀπελθόντας σπενδόμεθα, καὶ μετὰ τῆς ζωῆς αὐτῶν καὶ τὴν πρὸς αὐτοὺς καταλύομεν ἔχθραν· ἐπὶ δὲ τῶν γυναικῶν τοὐναντίον ἅπαν. Ἣν γὰρ οὐκ εἶδεν, ἧς οὐκ ἤκουσε, παρ' ἧς οὐδὲν ἔπαθε δεινὸν, ταύτην μισεῖ καὶ ἀποστρέφεται, καὶ οὐδὲ ὁ θάνατος τὸ μῖσος σβέννυσι. Τίς εἶδε, τίς ἤκουσε ζηλοτυπουμένην κόνιν, καὶ πολεμουμένην τέφραν; ϛʹ. Ἀλλ' οὐ μέχρι τούτου τὸ δεινόν· ἀλλὰ κἂν γένωνται παῖδες ἐκ τῆς δευτέρας, κἂν μὴ γένωνται, πόλεμος πάλιν καὶ μάχη. Μὴ γενομένων μὲν γὰρ ὀδυνᾶται μειζόνως, καὶ διὰ τοῦτο, καθάπερ πολεμίους καὶ τὰ μέγιστα ἠδικηκότας τοὺς τῆς προτέρας ὁρᾷ, διὰ τῆς ἐκείνων ζωῆς τῆς οἰκείας ἀπαιδίας σαφεστέραν λαμβάνουσα αἴσθησιν. Ἂν δὲ γένωνται, πάλιν οὐκ ἔλαττον τὸ δεινόν. Ὁ μὲν γὰρ ἀνὴρ πολλάκις φιλοστόργως πρὸς τὴν ἀπελθοῦσαν διακείμενος ἀντέχεται τούτων, φιλῶν τε ὁμοῦ καὶ ἐλεῶν τῆς ὀρφανίας αὐτούς· ἐκείνη δὲ πανταχοῦ τοὺς αὐτῆς προτιμᾶσθαι βούλεται, καὶ οὐδὲ ἐν ἀδελφῶν τάξει, ἀλλ' ἐν οἰκετῶν ἀπεῤῥιμμένων εἶναι βούλεται τούτους· ἅπερ ἅπαντα οἰκίαν ἀνατρέψαι δύναιτ' ἂν, καὶ τῷ γεγαμηκότι ποιῆσαι τὸν βίον ἀβίωτον. ∆ιὰ ταῦτα παραινοῦμεν, εἰ δυνατὸν, σωφρονεῖν, στέργειν τῷ προτέρῳ γάμῳ, καὶ μήτε νυμφίους τὰς γυναῖκας, μήτε γυναῖκας τοὺς ἄνδρας ἐπεισάγειν, ὥστε μὴ τὴν οἰκίαν ἀνατρέπεσθαι πᾶσαν. Τίνος δὲ ἕνεκεν περὶ χηρείας διαλεγόμενος, οὐκ ἠρκέσθη τῷ προτέρῳ μόνῳ, τῷ εἰπεῖν, Ἑνὸς ἀνδρὸς γυνή; Ἵνα μάθῃς, ὅτι χήραν ποιεῖ οὐ τὸ μὴ γαμῆσαι δεύτερον μόνον ἁπλῶς, ἀλλὰ τὸ κομᾷν ἐν ἔργοις ἀγαθοῖς, ἐν ἐλεημοσύνῃ καὶ φιλανθρωπίᾳ, καὶ ταῖς τῶν ξένων θεραπείαις. Εἰ γὰρ τὰς παρθένους οὐδὲν ὠφέλησεν ἡ παρθενία (καίτοι πολλῷ μείζων χηρείας ἡ παρθενία), ἀλλ' ἀπῆλθον, σβεσθέντος αὐταῖς τοῦ πυρὸς τῶν λαμπάδων, ἠτιμωμέναι, ἐπειδὴ τὸν ἀπὸ τῆς φιλανθρωπίας καὶ ἐλεημοσύνης οὐκ ἔσχον ἐπιδεῖξαι καρπὸν, πολλῷ μᾶλλον αἱ χῆραι. Ἐκείνης γοῦν ἀκούσας τῆς παραβολῆς ὁ Παῦλος, καὶ φοβούμενος ὑπὲρ τούτων, πολλὴν ὑπὲρ τοῦ πράγματος ποιεῖται τὴν ἀκριβολογίαν, ἵνα μὴ τῇ μονογαμίᾳ θαῤῥοῦσαι τῆς λοιπῆς ἀρετῆς καταμελήσωσι· διὰ τοῦτό φησιν, Ἐν ἔργοις καλοῖς μαρτυρουμένη· ὥσπερ γὰρ καλὸν ἡ παρθενία, χωρὶς δὲ τῶν λοιπῶν ἄκαρπος γέγονε, καὶ τοῦ νυμφῶνος ἀπέκλεισεν· οὕτω καλὸν ἡ χηρεία, χωρὶς δὲ τῆς λοιπῆς ἀρετῆς μάταιόν ἐστι καὶ περιττόν. ∆ιὰ τοῦτο οὐ μέχρι τοῦ μὴ δεύτερον ἐπεισάγειν ἄνδρα τὴν παραίνεσιν ἔστησεν ὁ Παῦλος, ἀλλὰ καὶ ἕτερα πολλῷ πλείονα καὶ μείζονα ἀπαιτεῖ παρὰ τῆς χήρας. Καὶ καθάπερ οἱ τοὺς στρατιώτας καταλέγοντες σώματος ζητοῦσιν εὐεξίαν, οὕτω καὶ οὗτος εἰς τὸ τοῦ Χριστοῦ στρατόπεδον αὐτὴν καταλέγων, ψυχῆς εὐεξίαν ἐζήτησε καὶ εὐτονίαν καὶ τὴν ἐν ἅπασι τοῖς ἀγαθοῖς ἔργοις σπουδὴν, οὕτω λέγων· Εἰ ἐτεκνοτρόφησεν, εἰ ἐξενοδόχησεν, εἰ ἁγίων πόδας ἔνιψεν, εἰ θλιβομένοις ἐπήρκεσεν. 51.327 εἰ παντὶ ἔργῳ ἀγαθῷ ἐπηκολούθησε. Τούτων γὰρ ἕκαστον δοκεῖ μὲν εἶναι ῥῆμα ψιλὸν, πολλὴν δὲ ἐν ἑαυτῷ συνέχει τὴν ζωήν. ζʹ. Καὶ εἰ δοκεῖ, πρῶτον, ἐξετάσωμεν ὃ πρῶτον αὐτὸς τέθεικεν· Εἰ ἐτεκνοτρόφησε. Τροφὴν γὰρ ἐνταῦθα λέγει οὐ ταύτην τὴν ψιλὴν καὶ παρὰ τοῖς πολλοῖς νομιζομένην, τὸ μὴ λιμῷ φθειρομένους περιιδεῖν τοὺς παῖδας· τοῦτο γὰρ οὐδὲ αὐτὴ τῆς φύσεως ἡ ἀνάγκη ἀφίησι παραμεληθῆναί ποτε· ὅθεν οὐδὲ