5

For since my loins were filled with mockeries, for this reason, he says, having come to repentance for the things that have been done, I chastise and punish my own flesh; wherefore I say: There is no healing in my flesh; so that having at some time succeeded he might be able to say: Even if our outward man perishes, yet the inward is renewed. And above he was saying: There is no healing in my flesh, and there is no peace in my bones. Then he adds: I was afflicted and was humbled exceedingly. And this he declared in another way in what came before, saying: I was miserable, and was bowed down to the end. It is characteristic of prudent men not to be lifted up by sins committed through presumption and seizure, but to be ashamed and to blush, and to be smitten in conscience, and to be humbled. For David in addition to these things says: 30.96 I roared from the groaning of my heart, or, according to Aquila, I gnashed from the gnashing of my heart. For not that I might be made manifest to the many do I confess with my lips; but within, in the heart itself, closing my eye, to you alone who sees the things in secret I show my own groanings, roaring within myself. For I had no need of long words for the confession; for the groanings of my heart were sufficient for confession, and the lamentations sent up from the depth of my soul to you, O God. But also my desire, being good, was before you, Lord, and this was concerning my own salvation. For when I became a desirer of evil things, my desire was not before you; but now, when I do all things, being humbled and roaring from the groaning of my heart, and desiring to obtain you, the God, Savior, and physician, my desire is before you, and you are not ignorant of the cause of my groanings. For you know that I send up a groaning befitting your love for mankind; since you do not will the death of the sinner, as much as his repentance. Wherefore I say: And my groaning was not hidden from you. My heart was troubled, my strength forsook me, and the light of my eyes, even it is not with me. My friends and my neighbors drew near and stood over against me. And those nearest to me stood afar off; and they that sought my soul used violence; and they that sought evils for me spoke vanities, and devised deceits all the day long.

Having noted beforehand in the inscription that it was for a remembrance, it is suitably sent up, and by memory he recounts the things that had long ago happened to him. And he teaches in the things that he became, having fallen into the slip of sin; for the sake of which he also makes the entire confession. I was miserable, therefore, and was bowed down, and I went about gloomy, and was humbled, and I roared from the groaning of my heart. I have come to all these things; for since at a certain time My heart was troubled, and my strength forsook me, and the light of my eyes, even it is not with me. For at the time of the sin, his intellect endured no small trouble, being confounded and darkened by the one working the sin, so as to even fall into foolishness. Wherefore also he said above: My bruises have become noisome and corrupt because of my foolishness. His heart, therefore, was troubled, when he had been in foolishness, and he fell from the virtue of prudence, and did the works of foolishness. And then his strength also forsook him; for he was no longer able to say: I can do all things 30.97 through Christ who strengthens me, having been conquered by the passion and weakened. For in the case of those who succeed: The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak; but in the case of those who are conquered, the flesh is lifted up and prevails, while the soul languishes and grows weak. Then, therefore, he says, when I was sinning, my heart was troubled, and my strength forsook me, and some other grievous thing happened concerning me. For the light of my eyes (and this was the prophetic Spirit, the

5

Ἐπειδὴ γὰρ αἱ ψόαι μου ἐπλήσθησαν ἐμπαιγμάτων, διὰ τοῦτο, φησὶν, εἰς μετάνοιαν τῶν πεπραγμένων ἐλθὼν, τὴν ἐμαυτοῦ σάρκα κολάζω καὶ τιμωροῦμαι· διό φημι· Οὐκ ἔστιν ἴασις ἐν τῇ σαρκί μου· ὡς ἂν δυνηθείη ποτὲ κατορθώσας εἰπεῖν· Εἰ καὶ ὁ ἔξω ἡμῶν ἄνθρωπος φθείρεται, ἀλλ' ὁ ἔσω ἀνα καινοῦται. Καὶ ἀνωτέρω δὲ ἔλεγεν· Οὐκ ἔστιν ἴασις ἐν τῇ σαρκί μου, καὶ οὐκ ἔστιν εἰρήνη ἐν τοῖς ὀστέοις μου. Εἶτα ἐπάγει· Ἐκακώθην καὶ ἐταπεινώθην ἕως σφόδρα. Τοῦτο δὲ ἑτέρως ἐν τοῖς ἔμπροσθεν ἐδήλου, φήσας· Ἐταλαιπώρησα, καὶ κατεκάμφθην ἕως τέλους. Ἴδιον ἀνδρῶν συνετῶν, τὸ μὴ ἐπαίρεσθαι ἐπὶ τοῖς κατὰ πρόληψιν καὶ συν αρπαγὴν ἁμαρτανομένοις, ἀλλ' αἰδεῖσθαι καὶ ἐρυ θριᾷν, καὶ τὴν συνείδησιν πλήττεσθαι, καὶ ταπει νοῦσθαι. Ὁ μὲν γὰρ ∆αβὶδ πρὸς τούτοις ἐπιλέγει· 30.96 Ὠρυόμην ἀπὸ στεναγμοῦ τῆς καρδίας μου, ἢ, κατὰ τὸν Ἀκύλαν, Ἐβρυχόμην ἀπὸ βρυγμοῦ τῆς καρδίας μου. Οὐ γὰρ ἵνα τοῖς πολλοῖς φανερὸς γέ νωμαι, τοῖς χείλεσιν ἐξομολογοῦμαι· ἔνδον δὲ ἐν αὐτῇ τῇ καρδίᾳ, τὸ ὄμμα μύων, σοὶ μόνῳ τῷ βλέ ποντι τὰ ἐν κρυπτῷ τοὺς ἐμαυτοῦ στεναγμοὺς ἐπιδεικνύω, ἐν ἐμαυτῷ ὠρυόμενος. Οὐδὲ γὰρ μακρῶν μοι λόγων χρεία ἦν πρὸς τὴν ἐξομολόγησιν· ἀπήρ κουν γὰρ οἱ στεναγμοὶ τῆς καρδίας μου πρὸς ἐξομο λόγησιν, καὶ οἱ ἀπὸ βάθους ψυχῆς πρὸς σὲ τὸν Θεὸν ἀναπεμπόμενοι ὀδυρμοί. Ἀλλὰ καὶ ἡ ἐπιθυμία καλὴ οὖσα ἐναντίον σου ἦν, Κύριε, καὶ αὕτη δὲ ἦν ἡ περὶ τῆς ἐμαυτοῦ σωτηρίας. Ὅτε μὲν γὰρ κακῶν γέγονα ἐπιθυμητὴς, οὐκ ἐναντίον σου ἦν ἡ ἐπιθυμία μου· νυνὶ δὲ, ὅτε πάντα πράττω ταπεινούμενος καὶ ὠρυό μενος ἀπὸ στεναγμοῦ τῆς καρδίας μου, καὶ σοῦ τοῦ Θεοῦ σωτῆρος καὶ ἰατροῦ τυχεῖν ἐπιθυμῶν, ἐναντίον σου ἐστιν ἡ ἐπιθυμία μου, καὶ τὴν αἰτίαν τῶν ἐμῶν στεναγμῶν οὐκ ἀγνοεῖς. Οἶσθα γὰρ, ὅτι πρέποντα τῇ σου φιλανθρωπίᾳ στεναγμὸν ἀναπέμπω· ἐπεὶ μὴ βούλῃ τὸν θάνατον τοῦ ἁμαρτωλοῦ, ὡς τὴν μετάνοιαν αὐτοῦ. ∆ιό φημι· Καὶ ὁ στεναγμός μου ἀπὸ σοῦ οὐκ ἀπεκρύβη. Ἡ καρδία μου ἐταράχθη, ἐγκατέλιπέ με ἡ ἰσχύς μου, καὶ τὸ φῶς τῶν ὀφθαλμῶν μου, καὶ αὐτὸ οὐκ ἔστι μετ' ἐμοῦ. Οἱ φίλοι μου καὶ οἱ πλησίον μου ἐξ ἐναντίας μου ἤγγισαν καὶ ἔστη σαν. Καὶ οἱ ἔγγιστά μου ἀπὸ μακρόθεν ἔστησαν· καὶ ἐξεβιάζοντο οἱ ζητοῦντες τὴν ψυχήν μου· καὶ οἱ ζητοῦντες τὰ κακά μοι ἐλάλησαν ματαιότη τας, καὶ δολιότητας ὅλην τὴν ἡμέραν ἐμελέτη σαν.

Προεπισημηνάμενος ἐν τῇ προγραφῇ, ὡς ἄρα εἴη εἰς ἀνάμνησιν, εἰκότως ἀναπεμπάζεται, καὶ τῇ μνήμῃ τὰ πάλαι αὐτῷ συμβεβηκότα ἐπανα λαμβάνει. ∆ιδάσκει δὲ ἐν οἷς γέγονεν, ἐν τῷ τῆς ἁμαρτίας ὀλισθήματι περιπεσών· οὗ χάριν καὶ τὴν πᾶσαν ποιεῖται ἐξομολόγησιν. Ἐταλαιπώρησα οὖν, καὶ κατεκάμφθην, καὶ σκυθρωπάζων ἐπορευόμην, καὶ ἐταπεινώθην, καὶ ὠρυόμην ἀπὸ στενα γμοῦ τῆς καρδίας μου. Εἰς πάντα ταῦτα ἐλήλυθα· ἐπειδὴ γὰρ καιρῷ τινι Ἡ καρδία μου ἐταράχθη, καὶ ἐγκατέλιπέ με ἡ ἰσχύς μου, καὶ τὸ φῶς τῶν ὀφθαλμῶν μου, καὶ αὐτὸ οὐκ ἔστιν μετ' ἐμοῦ. Κατὰ γὰρ τὸν τῆς ἁμαρτίας καιρὸν, οὐ μικρὰν ὑπ έμεινεν αὐτοῦ ταραχὴν τὸ διανοητικὸν, συγχυθὲν καὶ σκοτωθὲν ὑπὸ τοῦ τὴν ἁμαρτίαν ἐνεργοῦντος, ὡς καὶ εἰς ἀφροσύνην πεσεῖν. ∆ιὸ καὶ ἀνωτέρω ἔλεγε· Προσ ώζεσαν καὶ ἐσάπησαν οἱ μώλωπές μου ἀπὸ προσ ώπου τῆς ἀφροσύνης μου. Ἐταράχθη τοίνυν ἡ καρδία αὐτοῦ, ὅτε ἐν ἀφροσύνῃ ἐγεγόνει, καὶ τῆς μὲν κατὰ τὴν φρόνησιν ἀρετῆς ἐξέπιπτεν, ἔργα δὲ ἀφρο σύνης ἔπραττε. Τότε δὲ καὶ ἐγκατέλιπεν αὐτὸν ἡ ἰσχὺς αὐτοῦ· οὐκέτι γὰρ οἷός τε ἦν λέγειν· Πάντα 30.97 ἰσχύω ἐν τῷ ἐνδυναμοῦντί με Χριστῷ, νικηθεὶς ὑπὸ τοῦ πάθους καὶ ἐξατονήσας. Ἐπὶ μὲν γὰρ τῶν κατορθούντων· Τὸ πνεῦμα πρόθυμον, ἡ δὲ σὰρξ ἀσθενής· ἐπὶ δὲ τῶν νικωμένων ἡ σὰρξ κατεπαίρε ται καὶ κατισχύει, ἀτονεῖ δὲ καὶ ἐξασθενεῖ ἡ ψυχή. Τότε οὖν, φησὶν, ὅτε ἡμάρτανον, ἡ καρδία μου ἐτα ράχθη, καὶ ἐγκατέλιπέ με ἡ ἰσχύς μου, καὶ ἄλλο τι χαλεπὸν περὶ ἐμὲ γέγονε. Τὸ γὰρ φῶς τῶν ὀφθαλμῶν μου (τοῦτο δὲ ἦν τὸ προφητικὸν Πνεῦμα, τὸ