3. And yet, though I could not tax with folly and uselessness this counsel of theirs to keep the soul free from blame, and evade by foresight or elude by skill or endure with patience the troubles of life, still I could not regard these men as guides competent to lead me to the good and happy Life. Their precepts were platitudes, on the mere level of human impulse; animal instinct could not fail to comprehend them, and he who understood but disobeyed would have fallen into an insanity baser than animal unreason. Moreover, my soul was eager not merely to do the things, neglect of which brings shame and suffering, but to know the God and Father Who had given this great gift, to Whom, it felt, it owed its whole self, Whose service was its true honour, on Whom all its hopes were fixed, in Whose lovingkindness, as in a safe home and haven, it could rest amid all the troubles of this anxious life. It was inflamed with a passionate desire to apprehend Him or to know Him.

3. In Dei cognitionem ardet Hilarius.---Et quamquam non ineptam hanc eorum esse sententiam atque inutilem existimarem, conscientiam ab omni culpa liberam conservare, et omnes humanae vitae molestias vel providere prudenter, vel vitare consulte, vel ferre patienter: tamen hi ipsi non satis mihi idonei ad bene beateque vivendum auctores videbantur, communia tantum et convenientia humano sensui doctrinarum praecepta statuentes: quae cum non intelligere beluinum esset, intellecta tamen 0027C non agere, ultra beluinae immanitatis esse rabiem videretur. Festinabat autem animus, non haec tantummodo agere, quae non egisse, et criminum esset plenum, et dolorum: sed hunc tanti muneris Deum parentemque cognoscere, cui se totum ipse deberet, cui famulans nobilitandum se existimabat, ad quem omnem spei suae opinionem referret, in cujus bonitate inter tantas praesentium negotiorum calamitates, tamquam tutissimo sibi portu familiarique requiesceret. Ad hunc igitur vel intelligendum, vel cognoscendum, studio flagrantissimo animus accendebatur.