6

my sins. And what he says is something like this: never did a gathering of my fellow-servants lead me to shame. For what is the benefit from the ignorance of men, when the judge knows all things? And what is the harm from these knowing what has been transgressed, when He wishes to release from the penalty? Even if all judge, but the judge acquits, I have no regard for their vote; and even if all praise and admire, but He condemns me, again I have no benefit from their judgment. For everywhere one must look to Him, and do the same thing concerning sins, which we do 50.660 concerning the expenditure of money. Immediately upon rising from bed, before entering the marketplace, or handling any private or public affairs, calling our servant we demand an account of the expenditures, so that we may know what has been spent badly, and what necessarily, and how much is left over; and if we see that what is left is little, we devise by every means occasions for income, so that we may not unawares be destroyed by famine. Let us, therefore, do this also concerning our actions. Calling our conscience, let us make for it an account of our words, our deeds, our thoughts; let us examine what was spent necessarily, and what to our harm; what word was spent badly, on revilings, on foul language, on insults; what thought moved the eye to licentiousness; what reasoning to our harm was brought into action, whether through hands, or through tongue, or through the eyes themselves; and let us be zealous to abstain from untimely expenditure, and in place of what was once badly spent, to lay up another income, in place of words offered in vain, prayers; in place of licentious gazes, alms, fastings. For if we are to spend unseasonably, but lay nothing up, nor treasure up good for ourselves, having been brought down to extreme poverty, we will unawares be sending ourselves to the undying punishment of fire. Now, we are accustomed to make an account of our money at dawn, but of our actions after dinner and in the evening itself, lying on our bed, with no one disturbing, no one making a noise, let us demand of ourselves an accounting for all things done and said by us during the day; and if we see anything that was sinned, let us punish our conscience, let us rebuke our mind, let us prick our reasoning so severely, as no longer to dare, upon rising, to lead us to the same pit of sin, remembering the blow in the evening.

5. For that this is the most suitable time for such an accounting, hear the prophet saying: What you say in your hearts, be pricked on your beds. Many things during the day we do not do as we wish; and friends provoke, and servants make savage, and a wife grieves, and a child pains, and a crowd of life's and public affairs surrounds us; and we are not able to perceive then, nor how we are being tripped up. But having been freed from all these things, and having come to be by ourselves in the evening, and enjoying much quiet, let us convene the court upon the bed, so that we may have God merciful through such a judgment. But if we sin each day, and strike our soul, but never feel it, just as those receiving continuous wounds, then despising them, draw upon themselves fevers and an unbearable death; so indeed we too from this continuous 50.661 insensibility draw upon ourselves an inescapable punishment. I know that what has been said is burdensome, but it has much profit. We have a gentle Master; He wishes only to take hold of a pretext, and immediately shows all His love for mankind. For if when we sinned and remained unpunished we did not become worse, He would have even remitted the punishment for us; but He knows this clearly, that not being punished when we sin harms us no less than the sins themselves. For this reason He imposes the punishment, not demanding justice for past things, but the

6

ἁμαρτίας μου. Ὃ δὲ λέγει τοιοῦτόν ἐστιν· οὐδέποτέ με σύλλογος τῶν συνδούλων εἰς αἰσχύνην ἤγαγε. Τί γὰρ ὄφελος ἐκ τῆς ἀγνοίας τῶν ἀνθρώπων, τοῦ κριτοῦ πάντα εἰδότος; τί δὲ βλάβος ἐκ τοῦ εἰδέναι τούτους τὰ πεπλημμελημένα, ὅταν ἐκεῖνος ἀπολῦσαι βούληται τῆς δίκης; Κἂν πάντες δικάζωσιν, ὁ δὲ δικαστὴς ἀποψηφίσηται, οὐδείς μοι λόγος τῆς ἐκείνων ψήφου· κἂν ἅπαντες ἐπαινέσωσι καὶ θαυμάσωσιν, ἐκεῖνος δέ με καταδικάζῃ, οὐδέν μοι πάλιν ὄφελος τῆς ἐκείνων κρίσεως. Πανταχοῦ γὰρ πρὸς ἐκεῖνον ὁρᾷν χρὴ, καὶ ταὐτὸ ποιεῖν ἐπὶ τῶν ἁμαρτημάτων, ὅπερ ποιοῦμεν 50.660 ἐπὶ τῆς τῶν χρημάτων δαπάνης. Εὐθέως ἀναστάντες ἀπὸ τῆς κλίνης, πρὶν εἰς ἀγορὰν ἐμβαλεῖν, ἢ μεταχειρίσαι τι τῶν ἰδιωτικῶν ἢ δημοσίων πραγμάτων, τὸν οἰκέτην καλέσαντες ἀπαιτοῦμεν λόγον τῶν δαπανηθέντων, ἵν' εἰδῶμεν τί μὲν κακῶς, τί δὲ εἰς δέον ἀνήλωται, πόσον δὲ ὑπολέλειπται· κἂν εἰδῶμεν ὀλίγον ὂν τὸ ὑπολελειμμένον, παντὶ τρόπῳ προσόδων ἀφορμὰς ἐπινοοῦμεν, ἵνα μὴ λάθωμεν διαφθαρέντες λιμῷ. Τοῦτο τοίνυν καὶ ἐπὶ τῶν πράξεων τῶν ἡμετέρων ποιῶμεν. Τὸ συνειδὸς τὸ ἡμέτερον καλέσαντες ποιήσωμεν αὐτῷ λόγον τῶν ῥημάτων, τῶν πραγμάτων, τῶν ἐνθυμήσεων· ἐξετάσωμεν, τί μὲν εἰς δέον ἀνήλωται, τί δὲ ἐπὶ βλάβῃ τῇ ἡμετέρᾳ· ποῖος λόγος ἐδαπανήθη κακῶς, εἰς λοιδορίας, εἰς αἰσχρολογίας, εἰς ὕβρεις· ποῖον ἐνθύμημα τὸν ὀφθαλμὸν εἰς ἀκολασίαν ἐκίνησε· τίς λογισμὸς ἐπὶ βλάβῃ τῇ ἡμετέρᾳ εἰς ἔργον ἐξηνέχθη, ἢ διὰ χειρῶν, ἢ διὰ γλώττης, ἢ διὰ τῶν ὀμμάτων αὐτῶν· καὶ σπουδάσωμεν τῆς μὲν ἀκαίρου δαπάνης ἀποστῆναι, ἀντὶ δὲ τῶν ἅπαξ ἀναλωθέντων κακῶς, ἑτέραν ἀποθέσθαι πρόσοδον, ἀντὶ τῶν ῥημάτων τῶν εἰκῆ προσενεχθέντων, εὐχὰς, ἀντὶ τῶν ὄψεων τῶν ἀκολάστως γενομένων, ἐλεημοσύνας, νηστείας. Εἰ γὰρ μέλλοιμεν δαπανᾷν μὲν ἀκαίρως, μηδὲν δὲ ἀποτίθεσθαι, μηδὲ θησαυρίζειν ἑαυτοῖς ἀγαθὸν, εἰς ἐσχάτην κατενεχθέντες πενίαν, λήσομεν πρὸς τὴν ἀθάνατον τοῦ πυρὸς ἑαυτοὺς παραπέμποντες κόλασιν. Τῶν μὲν οὖν χρημάτων ὑπὸ τὴν ἕω τὸν λόγον ποιεῖν εἰώθαμεν, τῶν δὲ πράξεων μετὰ τὸ δεῖπνον καὶ τὴν ἑσπέραν αὐτὴν, ἐπὶ τῆς κλίνης κείμενοι, οὐδενὸς ἐνοχλοῦντος, οὐδενὸς θορυβοῦντος, τῶν μεθ' ἡμέραν ἡμῖν πεπραγμένων καὶ λελεγμένων ἁπάντων ἀπαιτῶμεν τὰς εὐθύνας ἡμᾶς ἑαυτούς· κἂν ἴδωμέν τι ἡμαρτημένον, κολάσωμεν τὸ συνειδὸς, ἐπιτιμήσωμεν τῇ διανοίᾳ, κατανύξωμεν τὸν λογισμὸν οὕτω σφοδρῶς, ὡς μηκέτι τολμῆσαι διαναστάντας ἡμᾶς πρὸς τὸ αὐτὸ τῆς ἁμαρτίας ἀγαγεῖν βάραθρον τῆς ἐν ἑσπέρᾳ πληγῆς μεμνημένον.

εʹ. Ὅτι γὰρ οὗτος ὁ καιρὸς ἐπιτηδειότερος πρὸς τὸ τοιοῦτον λογοθέσιον, ἄκουσον τοῦ προφήτου λέγοντος· Ἃ λέγετε ἐν ταῖς καρδίαις ὑμῶν, ἐπὶ ταῖς κοίταις ὑμῶν κατανύγητε. Πολλὰ μεθ' ἡμέραν οὐχ ὡς βουλόμεθα πράττομεν· καὶ φίλοι παροξύνουσι, καὶ οἰκέται ἐκθηριοῦσι, καὶ γυνὴ λυπεῖ, καὶ παιδίον ὀδυνᾷ, καὶ ὄχλος πραγμάτων βιωτικῶν καὶ δημοσίων περιίσταται· καὶ οὐ δυνάμεθα συνιδεῖν τότε, οὐδὲ ὅπως ὑποσκελιζόμεθα. Πάντων δὲ τούτων ἀπαλλαγέντες, καὶ καθ' ἑαυτοὺς γενόμενοι κατὰ τὴν ἑσπέραν, καὶ πολλῆς ἀπολαύοντες ἡσυχίας, συγκροτῶμεν ἐπὶ τῆς κλίνης τὸ δικαστήριον, ἵνα τὸν Θεὸν ἵλεων διὰ τῆς τοιαύτης κρίσεως ἔχωμεν. Ἂν δὲ καθ' ἑκάστην ἡμέραν ἁμαρτάνωμεν, καὶ παίωμεν τὴν ψυχὴν τὴν ἡμετέραν, μηδέποτε δὲ αἰσθανώμεθα, καθάπερ οἱ συνεχῆ τραύματα λαμβάνοντες, εἶτα καταφρονοῦντες, πυρετοὺς καὶ θάνατον ἑαυτοῖς ἀφόρητον ἐπισπῶνται· οὕτω δὴ καὶ ἡμεῖς ἐκ τῆς συνεχοῦς 50.661 ταύτης ἀναισθησίας ἀπαραίτητον ἐπισπώμεθα τιμωρίαν. Οἶδα ὅτι φορτικὰ τὰ εἰρημένα, ἀλλ' ἔχει πολὺ τὸ κέρδος. Ἥμερον ἔχομεν ∆εσπότην· προφάσεως ἐπιλαβέσθαι βούλεται μόνον, καὶ πᾶσαν εὐθέως ἐπιδείκνυται τὴν φιλανθρωπίαν. Εἰ γὰρ ἁμαρτάνοντες καὶ μένοντες ἀτιμώρητοι μὴ ἐγινόμεθα χείρους, κἂν ἀφῆκεν ἡμῖν τὴν κόλασιν· ἀλλ' οἶδε τοῦτο σαφῶς, ὅτι τῶν ἁμαρτημάτων αὐτῶν οὐκ ἔλαττον ἡμᾶς τὸ μὴ κολάζεσθαι ἁμαρτάνοντας βλάπτει. ∆ιὰ τοῦτο ἐπιτίθησι τὴν τιμωρίαν, οὐ τῶν ἀπελθόντων ἀπαιτῶν δίκην, ἀλλὰ τὰ