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accusations, a fight against oneself, war against those who admonish, no hesitation for the most absurd words or deeds. But often, for those in whom the passion rises up and reason is swallowed up more exceedingly by grief, the tragedy ended in a more bitter end, with the one left behind not being able to survive the disaster.

3.6 But not this? But let us suppose better things, that she both escaped the danger of birth pangs and a child was born to them, the very image of the beauty of its parents. What then? Has the cause for grieving been diminished by these things, or has it not rather received additions? For they have their former fears and have added the fear for their child, lest something unpleasant happen concerning its upbringing, lest some evil mischance, lest some unwanted accident or suffering or maiming or danger bring something upon it. And while these things are common to both, who could enumerate the wife's own particular ones? For if we leave aside these things that are ready at hand and known to all: the burden of pregnancy, the danger in birth pangs, the toil of raising the child, her heart being torn apart along with the one born, and if she becomes a mother of many, her soul is cut into as many pieces as is the number of her children, so that she receives the feeling of what happens to them in her own inward parts. And why would one speak of all such things that are known to all? but since, according to the divine saying, she is not her own master, but has her turning towards the one who has authority over her through marriage, even if she is left alone by him for a little while, as if separated from her head, she does not bear the solitude, but she takes his short departure as a sort of practice for the life of widowhood. Immediately fear produces despair of better hopes, and because of this, her eye is fixed upon the entrance, full of turmoil and terror, and her hearing is overly curious about those who are whispering, and her heart is crushed, scourged by fear, and, before anything new is announced, just a sound before the doors, whether imagined or real, like some messenger of evil, has suddenly shaken her soul. And perhaps things outside are favorable and worthy of no fear, but faintness precedes the message and turns her mind from pleasant things to the opposite. Such is the life of those who are cheerful. Very worthy indeed. For it is not to be compared with the freedom of virginity.

3.7 And yet in its course my account has passed over many of the more gloomy things. For often she, while still young in body, still shining with bridal splendor, still perhaps blushing at the entrance of the bridegroom and looking down with modesty, when desires happen to be warmer, being prevented by shame from being revealed, suddenly she is a widow and wretched and desolate and takes on all the names that are to be shunned, and the disaster, falling upon her, at once darkens her who was until now bright and white-robed and admired, and having stripped off her bridal adornment, it clothes her in mourning. Then darkness instead of the brightness in the bridal chamber, and dirge-singers intensifying their wails, and hatred against those who try to soothe her passions, aversion to food, wasting of the body, dejection of the soul, a desire for death, which often prevails even unto death itself. But if the calamity is somehow softened by time, again there is another calamity, whether children exist or not. For if they exist, they are orphans in any case, and because of this they are pitiable and renew the suffering by their very presence; but if there should be none, the memory of the deceased is gone root and branch, and the evil is beyond consolation.

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ἐγκλήματα, μάχη πρὸς ἑαυτόν, πόλεμος κατὰ τῶν νουθετούντων, οὐδεὶς τῶν ἀτοπωτάτων ὄκνος οὔτε ῥημάτων οὔτε πραγμάτων. Πολλάκις δέ, οἷς ἂν ὑπερανίσχῃ τὸ πάθος καὶ περισσοτέρως καταποθῇ ὁ λογισμὸς ὑπὸ τῆς λύπης, εἰς πικρότερον πέρας ἡ τραγῳδία κατέληξεν, οὐδὲ τοῦ περιλειφθέντος ἐπιβιῶναι τῇ συμφορᾷ δυνηθέντος.

3.6 Ἀλλ' οὐχὶ τοῦτο; Ὑποθώμεθα δὲ τὰ βελτίω, ὅτι καὶ διέφυγε τῶν ὠδίνων τὸν κίνδυνον καὶ γέγονεν αὐτοῖς παῖς, αὐτὸ τῆς ὥρας τῶν γεννησαμένων τὸ ἀπεικόνισμα. Τί οὖν; Ἠλαττώθη διὰ τούτων ἡ τοῦ λυπεῖσθαι ὑπόθεσις ἢ οὐχὶ καὶ προσθήκας μᾶλλον ἐδέξατο; Τούς τε γὰρ προτέ ρους ἔχουσι φόβους καὶ τὸν ὑπὲρ τοῦ τέκνου προσέλαβον, μή τι συμβῇ περὶ τὴν ἀνατροφὴν ἀηδές, μή τις πονηρὰ συντυχία, μή τι σύμπτωμα τῶν ἀβουλήτων ἢ πάθος ἢ πήρωσιν ἢ κίνδυνον ἐπαγάγῃ τινά. Καὶ ταῦτα μὲν ἀμφοτέρων κοινά, τὰ δὲ τῆς γαμετῆς ἴδια τίς ἂν ἐξαριθμήσαιτο; Ἵνα γὰρ ἐάσωμεν τὰ πρόχειρα ταῦτα καὶ πᾶσιν γνώριμα, τὸ τῆς κυοφορίας ἄχθος, τὸν ἐν ταῖς ὠδῖσι κίνδυνον, τὸν ὑπὲρ τῆς ἀνατροφῆς πόνον, τὸ τὴν καρδίαν αὐτῆς τῷ τεχθέντι συναποσχίζεσθαι, κἂν πλειόνων γένηται μήτηρ, εἰς τοσαῦτα κατατέμνεσθαι αὐτῆς τὴν ψυχήν, ὅσος ὁ ἀριθμὸς τῶν τέκνων ἐστίν, ὡς τῶν συμβαινόντων ἐκείνοις ἐν τοῖς ἰδίοις σπλάγχνοις τὴν αἴσθησιν δέχεσθαι. Καὶ πάντα τὰ τοιαῦτα γνώριμα πᾶσιν ὄντα τί ἄν τις λέγοι; ἀλλ' ἐπειδὴ κατὰ τὸ θεῖον λόγιον οὐχ ἑαυτῆς ἐστι κυρία, πρὸς δὲ τὸν διὰ τοῦ γάμου κυριεύσαντα τὴν ἀποστροφὴν ἔχει, κἂν πρὸς ὀλίγον αὐτοῦ μονωθῇ ὡς τῆς κεφαλῆς διε ζευγμένη, οὐ φέρει τὴν μόνωσιν, ἀλλὰ ὡς μελέτην τινὰ τῆς ἐν τῇ χηρείᾳ ζωῆς καὶ τὴν ἐν ὀλίγῳ τοῦ ἀνδρὸς ἀναχώ ρησιν οἰωνίζεται. Εὐθὺς ὁ φόβος ἀπόγνωσιν ἐμποιεῖ τῶν χρηστοτέρων ἐλπίδων, καὶ διὰ τοῦτο ὁ μὲν ὀφθαλμὸς περὶ τὴν εἴσοδον πέπηγε γέμων ταραχῆς καὶ πτοήσεως, ἡ δὲ ἀκοὴ τοὺς ὑπολαλοῦντας περιεργάζεται, συγκόπτε δὲ ἡ καρδία μαστιζομένη τῷ φόβῳ καί, πρίν τι προσ αγγελθῆναι νεώτερον, καὶ μόνον ψόφος πρὸ τῶν θυρῶν ἢ ὑπονοηθεὶς ἢ γενόμενος, ὥσπερ τις ἄγγελος κακῶν, ἐξαίφνης τὴν ψυχὴν διεκλόνησε. Καὶ τὰ μὲν ἔξω δεξιὰ τυχὸν καὶ οὐδενὸς ἄξια φόβου, φθάνει δὲ ἡ λειποθυμία τὴν ἀγγελίαν καὶ ἀναστρέφει πρὸς τὸ ἐναντίον ἀπὸ τῶν ἡδέων τὴν γνώμην. Τοιοῦτος τῶν εὐθυμούντων ὁ βίος. Πάνυ γε ἄξιος. Οὐ γὰρ τῇ ἐλευθερίᾳ τῆς παρθενίας ἀντεξετάζεται.

3.7 Καίτοι πολλὰ τῶν σκυθρωποτέρων ὁ λόγος ἐπιτρέχων παρέλιπε. Πολλάκις γὰρ κἀκείνη ἔτι νέα τῷ σώματι, ἔτι τῇ νυμφικῇ ἀγλαΐᾳ στίλβουσα, ἔτι τυχὸν ἐρυθριῶσα τοῦ νυμφίου τὴν εἴσοδον καὶ μετὰ αἰδοῦς ὑποβλέπουσα, ὅτε καὶ θερμοτέρους εἶναι συμβαίνει τοὺς πόθους ὑπ' αἰσχύνης πρὸς τὸ ἐκφανῆναι κωλυομένους, ἐξαίφνης χήρα καὶ ἀθλία καὶ ἔρημος καὶ πάντα τὰ φευκτὰ μεταλαμβάνει ὀνόματα καὶ τὴν τέως λαμπρὰν καὶ λευχείμονα καὶ περίβλεπτον ἀθρόως καταμελαίνει προσπεσοῦσα ἡ συμφορά, καὶ περιβάλλει τῷ πένθει τὸν νυμφικὸν κόσμον ἀποσυλήσασα. Εἶτα ζόφος ἀντὶ τῆς ἐν παστάδι λαμπρότητος καὶ θρηνῳδοὶ τὰς οἰμωγὰς ἐπιτείνουσαι καὶ μῖσος κατὰ τῶν ἐπιχειρούντων πραΰνειν τὰ πάθη, ἀπέχθεια σιτίων, τηκεδὼν σώματος, κατήφεια ψυχῆς, ἐπιθυμία θανάτου καὶ μέχρις αὐτοῦ τοῦ θανάτου πολλάκις ἰσχύσασα. Ἐὰν δὲ καὶ πεφθῇ πως τῷ χρόνῳ ἡ συμφορά, πάλιν ἄλλη συμφορά, εἴτε ὑπάρχει τέκνα εἴτε καὶ μή. Ὄντα μὲν γὰρ ὀρφανὰ πάντως ἐστί, καὶ διὰ τοῦτο ἐλεεινὰ καὶ δι' ἑαυτῶν τὸ πάθος ἀνακαινίζοντα· εἰ δὲ μὴ εἴη, πρόρριζον οἴχεται τὸ τοῦ κατοιχομένου μνημόσυνον καὶ τὸ κακὸν ὑπὲρ παραμυθίαν ἐστίν.