8

But if I have loved power, or the height of thrones, or to tread the courts of kings, may I have nothing else splendid, or may I cast away what I possess.

20. What is it, then, that I say? For I am not an unrewarded laborer of virtue, nor have I arrived at such a degree of virtue. Give me the reward of my labors. What reward is this? Not what some might suppose, those for whom all things are easy; but what is safe for me to seek. Give us rest from our long labors; have respect for this grey hair; honor my sojourning; bring in another in my place, one persecuted on your behalf, one whose hands are clean, whose voice is not without understanding, who is able to grant you all things, and to share in the cares of the church; since now is the time for these things above all. But for me, you see how this body of mine is, worn out by time, and sickness, and labor. What need have you for an old man who is timid, and unmanly, and, so to speak, dying every day, not only in his body, but also in his cares; who can barely say even these things to you? Do not disbelieve the voice of your teacher; for indeed you have never disbelieved it. I am weary, being accused of leniency. I am weary, fighting with argument, and with envy, and with enemies, and with our own people. The one kind strikes the breast, and are less successful; for the openly hostile is easy to guard against. But the other kind watch our backs, and are more grievous; for what is unsuspected is more deadly. And even if I were a helmsman, and one of the very skilled; and then the sea around us was great, and seething around the ship; and the strife of those on board was great, with some fighting about one bench and some about another, and clashing against each other and against the waves, how long could I have held out sitting at the rudders, so as to fight both the sea and those on board, and to save the ship without danger from a double surge? For when it was difficult to be saved even with them striving together in every way, how is it possible not to be sunk when they are striving against me?

21. What more is there to say? But how shall I bear this sacred war? For let it be called a 36.484 sacred war, just like a barbaric one. How shall I join and bring into one these who sit in opposition and pastor in opposition, and the people broken off with them and set against us; like things neighboring and near in the chasms of earthquakes; or in plagues the attendants and household, as the disease is easily spread from one to another; and not only that, but also the parts of the world suffering along with the factions, so that the East and the West were then separated into opposing parties, and were in danger of becoming divisions of opinion no less than of territory? For how long will it be "mine" and "yours," and "the old" and "the new," "the more learned" or "the more spiritual," "the more noble" or "the less noble," "the richer in number" or "the poorer"? I am ashamed of my old age, being called by the name of others, when I have been saved by Christ.

22. I cannot bear your horse-races, and the theaters, and this counter-balancing madness in both expenditures and zealous efforts. We change teams, we side against teams, we snort against each other, we almost strike the very air, like them, and throw dust to heaven, like those who are out of their minds; and under other masks we fulfill our own contentions, we become evil arbiters of ambition, and unfair judges of the matters. Today we are of the same throne and the same opinion, if our drivers so lead us; tomorrow of an opposing throne and opposing opinion, if the wind blows against us. Along with the enmity and the friendship, go the names; and, most terrible of all, we are not ashamed to use the same men as hearers of opposite arguments; nor do we stand on the same ground, as contention makes us different people at different times. Like certain changes of the Euripus, or ebbings of the tide. Therefore, just as if in the midst of young men playing in the marketplace, it would be extremely shameful and not for us, leaving our own pursuits, to join in with them (for the toys of children are not seemly for old age); so neither if, of those carrying and being carried

8

Εἰ δὲ δυναστείαν ἠγάπησα, ἢ θρόνων ὕψος, ἢ βασιλέων πατεῖν αὐλὰς, μηδὲ ἄλλο τι λαμπρὸν ἔχοιμι, ἢ ῥίψαιμι κεκτημένος.

Κʹ. Τί οὖν ἐστιν ὅ φημι; Οὐ γὰρ ἄμισθος ἐγὼ τῆς ἀρετῆς ἐργάτης, οὐδ' εἰς τοσοῦτον ἀρετῆς ἀφικό μην. ∆ότε μοι τῶν πόνων μισθόν. Τίνα τοῦτον; Οὐχ ὃν ἄν τινες ὑπολάβοιεν τῶν πάντα ῥᾳ δίων· ἀλλ' ὃν ἐμοὶ ζητεῖν ἀσφαλές. Ἀναπαύσατε τῶν μακρῶν πόνων ἡμᾶς· αἰδέσθητε τὴν πολιὰν ταύτην· τιμήσατε τὴν ξενιτείαν· ἄλλον ἀντεισαγάγετε, τὸν ὑπὲρ ὑμῶν διωκόμενον, ὅστις καθαρὸς χεῖρας, ὅστις φωνὴν οὐκ ἀσύνετος, ὅστις ἱκανὸς τὰ πάντα ὑμῖν χαρίζεσθαι, καὶ συνδιαφέρειν τὰς ἐκκλησιαστι κὰς φροντίδας· ἐπειδὴ τούτων μάλιστα νῦν ὁ καιρός. Ἐμοὶ δὲ ὁρᾶτε καὶ τὸ σῶμα ὡς ἔχει τοῦτο, καὶ χρόνῳ, καὶ νόσῳ, καὶ πόνῳ δαπανηθέν. Τί δεῖ γέροντος ὑμῖν δειλοῦ, καὶ ἀνάνδρου, καὶ καθ' ἑκάστην, ὡς εἰπεῖν, ἀποθνήσκοντος τὴν ἡμέραν, οὐ τῷ σώματι μόνον, ἀλλὰ καὶ ταῖς φροντίσιν· ὃς μόλις καὶ ταῦτα ὑμῖν διαλέγομαι; Μὴ ἀπιστήσητε φωνῇ διδα σκάλου· καὶ γὰρ οὐδὲ ἠπιστήσατε πώποτε. Κέκμηκα, τὴν ἐπιείκειαν ἐγκαλούμενος. Κέκμηκα, καὶ λόγῳ, καὶ φθόνῳ μαχόμενος, καὶ πολεμίοις, καὶ ἡμετέροις. Οἱ μὲν τὰ στέρνα παίουσι, καὶ ἧττον ἐπιτυγχάνουσι· τὸ γὰρ προδήλως ἐχθρὸν, εὐφύλακτον. Οἱ δὲ, τὰ νῶτα τηροῦσι, καὶ μᾶλλόν εἰσι λυπηροί· τὸ γὰρ ἀνύποπτον, καιριώτερον. Εἰ δὲ καὶ κυβερνήτης ἦν, καὶ τῶν λίαν ἐπιστημόνων· εἶτα πολλὴ μὲν ἦν περὶ ἡμᾶς ἡ θάλασσα, καὶ περὶ τὴν ναῦν ζέουσα· πολλὴ δὲ τῶν ἐμπλεόντων ἡ στάσις, ἄλλων περὶ ἄλλου ζυγο μαχούντων, καὶ ἀντικτυπούντων ἀλλήλοις τε καὶ τοῖς κύμασι, πόσον ἀντέσχον ἂν ἐπὶ τῶν οἰάκων καθ ήμενος, ὥστε καὶ θαλάσσῃ καὶ τοῖς ἐμπλέουσι μά χεσθαι, καὶ διασώζειν ἀκινδύνως τὴν ναῦν ἐκ διπλοῦ τοῦ κλύδωνος; Ὧν γὰρ παντὶ τρόπῳ συναγωνιζομέ νων, χαλεπὸν ἦν τὸ τῆς σωτηρίας, τούτων πῶς οἷόν τε ἀνταγωνιζομένων μὴ καταδύεσθαι;

ΚΑʹ. Τί τἄλλα δεῖ λέγειν; Ἀλλὰ πῶς οἴσω τὸν ἱερὸν τοῦτον πόλεμον; Λεγέσθω γάρ τις καὶ πόλεμος 36.484 ἱερὸς, ὥσπερ καὶ βαρβαρικός. Πῶς συνάψω, καὶ εἰς ἓν ἀγάγω τοὺς ἀντικαθεζομένους τούτους καὶ ἀν τιποιμαίνοντας, καὶ τὸν συναπεῤῥωγότα τούτοις λαὸν καὶ ἀντίθετον· ὥσπερ ἐν τοῖς χάσμασι τῶν σεισμῶν, τὰ γειτονοῦντα καὶ πλησιάζοντα· ἢ ταῖς λοιμικαῖς νόσοις τοὺς θεραπευτὰς καὶ οἰκείους, ἄλ λοις ἀπ' ἄλλων διαδιδομένης εὐκόλως τῆς ἀῤῥω στίας· οὐ μόνον δὲ, ἀλλὰ καὶ τὰ τῆς οἰκουμένης τμή ματα συμπεπονθότα τοῖς στασιάζουσιν, ὥστε καὶ εἰς ἀντίπαλον μοῖραν ἀποκριθῆναι τότε Ἑῷον καὶ τὸ Ἑσπέριον, καὶ κινδυνεύειν τῆς γνώμης οὐχ ἧττον ἢ τῶν περάτων ταῦτα γενέσθαι τμήματα; Μέχρι τίνος γὰρ ὁ ἐμὸς καὶ ὁ σὸς, καὶ ὁ παλαιὸς καὶ ὁ νέος, ὁ λογιώ τερος ἢ ὁ πνευματικώτερος, ὁ εὐγενέστερος ἢ ὁ δυσγε νέστερος, ὁ τῷ πλήθει πλουσιώτερος ἢ ὁ πενέστερος; Αἰσχύνομαι τὸ γῆρας, ἄλλων καλούμενος, ὑπὸ Χριστοῦ σεσωσμένος.

ΚΒʹ. Οὐ φέρω τοὺς ἱππικοὺς ὑμῶν, καὶ τὰ θέατρα, καὶ τὴν ἀντίῤῥοπον ταύτην μανίαν ἔν τε δαπανήμασι καὶ σπουδάσμασι. Μεταζεύγνυμεν, ἀντιζεύγνυμεν, ἀντιφρυασσόμεθα, μικροῦ καὶ τὸν ἀέρα παίομεν, ὥσπερ ἐκεῖνοι, καὶ βάλλομεν κόνιν εἰς οὐρανὸν, ὥσπερ οἱ ἐξεστηκότες· καὶ ὑπ' ἄλλοις προσώποις τὰς ἡμετέρας ἐκπληροῦμεν φιλονεικίας, κακοὶ γινόμεθα τῆς φιλοτιμίας διαιτηταὶ, καὶ κριταὶ τῶν πραγμάτων ἀγνώμονες. Σήμερον σύνθρονοι καὶ ὁμόδοξοι, ἂν οὕτω φέρωσιν ἡμᾶς οἱ ἄγοντες· αὔριον ἀντίθρονοι καὶ ἀντίδοξοι, ἐὰν ἀντιπνεύσῃ τὸ πνεῦμα. Μετὰ τῆς ἔχθρας καὶ τῆς φιλίας, καὶ τὰ ὀνόματα· καὶ, τὸ δεινότατον, οὐκ αἰσχυνόμεθα τοῖς αὐτοῖς χρώμενοι τῶν ἐναντίων ἀκροαταῖς· οὐδὲ ἐπὶ τῶν αὐτῶν βεβήκαμεν, ἄλλοτε ἄλλους ποιούσης ἡμᾶς τῆς φιλονεικίας. Εὐρίπων μεταβολαί τινες, ἢ ἀμπώτιδες. Ὥσπερ οὖν εἰ μειρακίων ἐν ἀγορᾷ παι ζόντων ἐν μέσῳ καὶ παιζομένων, αἰσχρὸν ἂν ἦν λίαν καὶ οὐχ ἡμῶν, καταλιπόντας τὰς οἰκείας διατριβὰς, ἐκείνοις συμφέρεσθαι (οὐ γὰρ ὡραῖον γήρᾳ, παίδων ἀθύρματα)· οὕτως οὐδ' εἰ, φερόντων καὶ φερο μένων