8. From some—ah, misery!—all these things have fallen away, and have passed from memory. They indeed did not wait to be apprehended ere they ascended, or to be interrogated ere they denied. Many were conquered before the battle, prostrated before the attack. Nor did they even leave it to be said for them, that they seemed to sacrifice to idols unwillingly. They ran to the market-place of their own accord; freely they hastened to death, as if they had formerly wished it, as if they would embrace an opportunity now given which they had always desired. How many were put off by the magistrates at that time, when evening was coming on; how many even asked that their destruction might not be delayed! What violence can such a one plead as an excuse? How can he purge his crime, when it was he himself who rather used force to bring about his own ruin? When they came voluntarily to the Capitol,—when they freely approached to the obedience of the terrible wickedness,—did not their tread falter? Did not their sight darken, their heart tremble, their arms fall helplessly down? Did not their senses fail, their tongue cleave to their mouth, their speech grow weak? Could the servant of God stand there, and speak and renounce Christ, when he had already renounced the devil and the world? Was not that altar, whither he drew near to perish, to him a funeral pile? Ought he not to shudder at and flee from the devil’s altar, which he had seen to smoke, and to be redolent of a foul fœtor, as if it were the funeral and sepulchre of his life? Why bring with you, O wretched man, a sacrifice? why immolate a victim? You yourself have come to the altar an offering; you yourself have come a victim: there you have immolated your salvation, your hope; there you have burnt up your faith in those deadly fires.15 [Mark viii. 36.]
VIII. Exciderunt quibusdam, proh nefas! omnia et de memoria recesserunt. Non expectaverunt saltem ut ascenderent apprehensi, ut interrogati negarent . 0472B Ante aciem multi victi, sine congressione prostrati; nec hoc sibi reliquerunt, ut sacrificare idolis viderentur inviti. Ultro ad forum currere, ad mortem sponte properare, quasi hoc olim cuperent, quasi amplecterentur occasionem datam quam semper optassent. Quot illic a magistratibus vespera urgente dilati sunt? quot, ne eorum differretur interitus, etiam rogaverunt? Quam vim potest talis obtendere, qua crimen suum purget, cum vim magis ipse fecerit ut periret? Nonne, quando ad Capitolium sponte ventum est, quando ultro ad obsequium diri facinoris accessum est, labavit gressus, caligavit aspectus, tremuerunt viscera, brachia conciderunt? nonne sensus. 0473A obstupuit, lingua haesit, sermo defecit? Stare illic potuit Dei servus, et loqui et renuntiare Christo, qui jam diabolo renuntiaverat et saeculo? Nonne ara illa quo moriturus accessit rogus illi fuit? nonne diaboli altare, quod foetore tetro fumare ac redolere conspexerat, velut funus et bustum vitae suae horrere ac fugere debebat ? Quid hostiam tecum, miser, quid victimam immolaturus imponis? ipse ad aram hostia, victima ipse venisti; immolasti illic salutem tuam, spem tuam, fidem tuam funestis illis ignibus concremasti.