John Chrysostom, What Kind of Wives Should Be Taken

worthy of those who received him and compelling even the very stony and harsh one to become philanthropic and gentle; but the wonderful thing was this, that thinking them to be certain travelers, she showed such care for them. And this was so great; she did not know who he was, nor for what purpose he had come, nor that he had come to ask for her hand in marriage, but she thought him some stranger and wayfarer. For this reason her reward for hospitality became greater, because she received with such goodwill him who was in no way an acquaintance, while at the same time preserving her modesty. For she did this not shamelessly, nor boldly, neither forcing, nor being angry, but with fitting dignity. For Moses hinted at this very thing, saying: But the man was observing her, and was silent to know, if the Lord had made his journey prosperous. What is, He was observing 51.238 her? Both posture, and gait, and glance, and speech, and everything he examined carefully, discerning the disposition of her soul from the movements of her body. And he was not satisfied with these things alone, but he applies a second test. For when she had given him to drink, he did not stop with this, but said to her, Whose daughter are you, tell me, and if there is a place at your father's to lodge? What then did she do? Patiently and gently she both told him her father, and was not indignant, saying: And who are you who is so meddlesome, and asking, and prying into the household? but what? I am the daughter of Bethuel the son of Milcah, whom she bore to Nahor; and we have both straw and much fodder, and a place to lodge. Just as with the water, she gave more than he asked; for he asked only to drink, but she also promised to water the camels, and she watered them; so also here; he asked for a place only, but she also [offered] straw and fodder and many other things, by all these means inviting him, and drawing him to the house, so that she might reap the reward of hospitality. Let us not hear these things incidentally nor simply, but by considering ourselves, and comparing ourselves to these things, thus we will know the virtue of the woman. For often when we receive certain acquaintances and friends we are annoyed, and if they stay for one or a second day, we are burdened; but she drew the unknown man and stranger into the house with much eagerness, and this while being about to provide care not only for him, but also for so many camels. But when he entered, consider from this point on his discernment even more. For when they set bread before him to eat, he says: I will not eat, until I have spoken my words. Do you see how watchful and sober he was? Then, since they permitted him to speak, let us see how he speaks with them. Did he say these words to them, that he had a conspicuous and illustrious master, honored by all, enjoying much precedence from the local people? and yet if he wanted to say these things, he would not have been at a loss; for indeed the inhabitants of the country honored him in the rank of a king. But nevertheless he said none of these things, but leaving aside these human things, he adorned him from the influence from above, saying thus: I am Abraham's servant; the Lord has blessed my master greatly, and he has become great, and has given him sheep, and calves, and gold, and silver. He spoke of the wealth, not to show that he was rich, but that he was a lover of God; for he wishes to praise him not for possessing it, but for having received these things from God; then speaking about the bridegroom: And Sarah, my master's wife, bore one son to my master after he had grown old. Here he also hinted at the manner of the birth pangs, showing that the birth also happened from the providence of God toward him, not according to the sequence of nature. And you, therefore, whether you seek a bridegroom, or a bride, seek these things before the others, if he is God-loving, if he enjoys much goodwill from above. For if those things are present, the other things also follow; but with these things not being present, even if with much security for them

ἀξίας τῶν ὑποδεχθέντων καὶ τὸν σφόδρα λίθινον καὶ ἀπηνῆ καταναγκαζούσης φιλάνθρωπον γενέσθαι καὶ ἥμερον· τὸ δὲ θαυμαστὸν τοῦτο ἦν, ὅτι ὁδίτας τινὰς αὐτοὺς εἶναι νομίζων, τοσαύτην ἐπ' αὐτοῖς ἐπεδείξατο τὴν θεραπείαν. Τοσαύτη καὶ αὕτη ἦν· οὐκ οἶδεν τίς ἦν, οὐδὲ ἐπὶ τί παρεγένετο, οὐδὲ ὅτι αὐτὴν μνηστευσόμενος ἦλθεν, ἀλλὰ ξένον τινὰ καὶ ὁδοιπόρον ἐνόμισε. ∆ιὰ τοῦτο μείζων αὐτῇ ὁ μισθὸς τῆς φιλοξενίας ἐγίνετο, ὅτι τὸν οὐδαμόθεν ὄντα γνώριμον μετὰ τοσαύτης ὑπεδέξατο εὐνοίας, ὁμοῦ καὶ τὴν σωφροσύνην διατηροῦσα. Οὐδὲ γὰρ ἀναισχύντως, οὐδὲ ἰταμῶς, οὔτε ἀναγκάζουσα, οὔτε ὀργιζομένη, ἀλλὰ μετὰ τῆς προσηκούσης σεμνότητος τοῦτο ἐποίει. Τοῦτο γὰρ αὐτὸ ᾐνίξατο ὁ Μωϋσῆς λέγων· Ὁ δὲ ἄνθρωπος κατεμάνθανεν αὐτὴν, καὶ παρεσιώπα τοῦ γνῶναι, εἰ εὐώδωσε Κύριος τὴν ὁδὸν αὐτοῦ. Τί ἐστι, Κατεμάν 51.238 θανεν αὐτήν; Καὶ σχῆμα, καὶ βάδισμα, καὶ βλέμμα, καὶ ῥῆμα, καὶ πάντα ἀκριβῶς ἐξήταζεν, ἀπὸ τῶν τοῦ σώματος κινημάτων τὴν ἕξιν τῆς ψυχῆς καταμανθάνων. Καὶ οὐδὲ τούτοις ἠρκέσθη μόνον, ἀλλὰ δευτέραν προσάγει πεῖραν. Ἐπειδὴ γὰρ ἐπότισεν αὐτὸν, οὐκ ἔστη μέχρι τούτου, ἀλλ' εἶπεν αὐτῇ, Τίνος θυγάτηρ εἶ, ἀνάγγειλόν μοι, καὶ εἰ ἔστι παρὰ τῷ πατρί σου τόπος τοῦ καταλῦσαι; Τί οὖν ἐκείνη; Ἀνεξικάκως καὶ πράως καὶ τὸν πατέρα εἶπε, καὶ οὐκ ἠγανάκτησε, λέγουσα· Σὺ δέ τις εἶ ὁ πολυπραγμονῶν, καὶ ζητῶν, καὶ τὴν οἰκίαν περιεργαζόμενος; ἀλλὰ τί; Θυγάτηρ Βαθουήλ εἰμι ἐγὼ υἱοῦ Μελχᾶς, ὃν ἔτεκεν τῷ Ναχώρ· καὶ ἄχυρα καὶ χορτάσματα πολλὰ παρ' ἡμῖν, καὶ τόπος τοῦ καταλῦσαι. Ὥσπερ ἐπὶ τοῦ ὕδατος, πλέον ὧν ᾔτησεν ἔδωκεν· ὁ μὲν γὰρ πιεῖν ᾔτησε μόνον, ἡ δὲ καὶ τὰς καμήλους ὑπέσχετο ποτίζειν, καὶ ἐπότισεν· οὕτω καὶ ἐνταῦθα· αὐτὸς τόπον ᾔτησε μόνον, ἡ δὲ καὶ ἄχυρα καὶ χορτάσματα καὶ ἄλλα πολλὰ, διὰ τούτων πάντων αὐτὸν ἐκκαλουμένη, καὶ πρὸς τὴν οἰκίαν ἕλκουσα, ἵνα τὸν τῆς φιλοξενίας καρπώσηται μισθόν. Ταῦτα δὲ μὴ παρέργως μηδὲ ἁπλῶς ἀκούωμεν, ἀλλ' ἡμᾶς αὐτοὺς καθ' ἑαυτοὺς ἐννοοῦντες, καὶ τούτοις παραβάλλοντες, οὕτως εἰσόμεθα τὴν ἀρετὴν τῆς γυναικός. Πολλάκις γοῦν γνωρίμους τινὰς καὶ ἐπιτηδείους ὑποδεχόμενοι δυσχεραίνομεν, κἂν μίαν ἢ δευτέραν ἡμέραν ἐνδιατρίψωσι, βαρυνόμεθα· αὕτη δὲ τὸν ἀγνῶτα καὶ ξένον μετὰ πολλῆς εἰς τὴν οἰκίαν εἷλκε τῆς προθυμίας, καὶ ταῦτα οὐκ αὐτῷ μόνον, ἀλλὰ καὶ καμήλοις τοσαύταις μέλλουσα παρέξειν τὴν θεραπείαν. Ἐπειδὴ δὲ εἰσῆλθε, σκόπει ἐντεῦθεν μᾶλλον αὐτοῦ τὴν σύνεσιν. Ὡς γὰρ παρέθηκε φαγεῖν αὐτῷ ἄρτους, φησίν· Οὐ μὴ φάγω, ἕως ὅτου λαλήσω τὰ ῥήματά μου. Εἶδες πῶς ἦν ἐγρηγορὼς καὶ νήφων; Εἶτα, ἐπειδὴ εἰπεῖν ἐπέτρεψαν, ἴδωμεν πῶς αὐτοῖς διαλέγεται. Ἆρα ταῦτα εἶπε πρὸς αὐτοὺς τὰ ῥήματα, ὅτι δεσπότην ἔχοι περιφανῆ καὶ λαμπρὸν, παρὰ πάντων τιμώμενον, πολλῆς παρὰ τῶν ἐγχωρίων προεδρίας ἀπολαύοντα; καίτοι γε εἴπερ ἐβούλετο ταῦτα εἰπεῖν, οὐκ ἂν ἠπόρησε· καὶ γὰρ ἐν τάξει βασιλέως αὐτὸν οἱ ἐπιχώριοι ἐτίμων. Ἀλλ' ὅμως οὐδὲν τούτων εἶπεν, ἀλλὰ τὰ ἀνθρώπινα ταῦτα ἀφεὶς, ἀπὸ τῆς ἄνωθεν αὐτὸν ῥοπῆς ἐκόσμησεν οὕτω λέγων· Παῖς Ἀβραὰμ ἐγώ εἰμι· Κύριος εὐλόγησε τὸν κύριόν μου σφόδρα, καὶ ὑψώθη, καὶ ἔδωκεν αὐτῷ πρόβατα, καὶ μόσχους, καὶ χρυσίον, καὶ ἀργύριον. Τὸν πλοῦτον εἶπεν, οὐχ ἵνα εὔπορον δείξῃ ὄντα, ἀλλ' ἵνα φιλόθεον· οὐ γὰρ ἀπὸ τοῦ κεκτῆσθαι, ἀλλ' ἀπὸ τοῦ παρὰ Θεοῦ ταῦτα αὐτὸν εἰληφέναι ἐγκωμιάσαι βούλεται· εἶτα περὶ τοῦ νυμφίου διαλεγόμενος· Καὶ ἔτεκε Σάῤῥα, ἡ γυνὴ τοῦ κυρίου μου, υἱὸν ἕνα τῷ κυρίῳ μου μετὰ τὸ γηρᾶσαι αὐτόν. Ἐνταῦθά μοι καὶ τὸν τρόπον τῶν ὠδίνων ᾐνίξατο, δεικνὺς ὅτι καὶ ὁ τόκος ἀπὸ τῆς τοῦ Θεοῦ γέγονε προνοίας τῆς πρὸς ἐκεῖνον, οὐ κατὰ φύσεως ἀκολουθίαν. Καὶ σὺ τοίνυν ἄν τε νυμφίον, ἄν τε νύμφην ἐπιζητῇς, ταῦτα πρὸ τῶν ἄλλων ζήτει, εἰ θεοφιλής ἐστιν, εἰ πολλῆς ἄνωθεν ἀπολαύει τῆς εὐνοίας. Ἂν γὰρ ἐκεῖνα ᾖ, καὶ τὰ ἄλλα ἕπεται· τούτων δὲ οὐκ ὄντων, κἂν μετὰ πολλῆς τῆς ἀδείας αὐτοῖς