15

here or after death? But the one who both contradicts and groans against and curses those who rouse him to divine hymn and the glorification of God, what defense will he find on the day of judgment, having become a scandal of destruction both to himself and to others?

Believe me, my spiritual fathers and brothers, whenever I hear these things or see one of you suffering terribly because of them, I am seized with such affliction and my heart is bitten, so that I seem to be handed over to punishment itself, and I do not perceive any other joy of the world, but I even renounce life itself; and I weep and lament, as if already being condemned, and although I exhort you, I am not heard, when I rebuke (47) I am sent away, when I correct I am hated and when I chastise I am chastised in return and I am driven out as an enemy, and in doing these things I am not able to acquire rest. I resolve to stop and to look only upon my own evils, but when I wish to establish this, then my heart is kindled like a flame and again I, the humble one, am engaged in the same things and I suffer for your wounds no less than each one is pained by his own bruises, and for you I am on fire, and I consider life unlivable, and it occurs to me to marvel how we have descended into such darkness and do everything against our own souls and slaughtering ourselves we kick as if we were alive, and binding ourselves with sins we rejoice and we devour those who remove such bonds. If we are prevented by someone from committing anything against our souls, like mad dogs we bark at and blame him, and we do not stop until we do the deed and destroy our souls. Then, having become accustomed to such lawless things, we become evil by nature, so to speak, and we no longer wish to be renewed. We professed to be monks and we have become more wicked than worldly people. We committed ourselves to hunger and thirst and to suffer hardship, and we are not ashamed to dispute and blaspheme over a single piece of bread, and this, perhaps, when it is sought by us outside the appointed time for food. We came to renounce all those in the world, I mean parents and brothers and friends, and yet we do not cease to feed them from the monastery's bread. We fled the world as an enemy, and we love the people of the world and the things of the world more than (48) Christ himself.

Tell me, I ask you, brother, believing that there is a judgment and a resurrection and a recompense for what has been lived, did you come to the monastery confessing that there is a God who will repay each one according to his deeds, or did you not set any of these things in your heart? Have you come to keep the covenants that you made and agreed to with Christ before many witnesses, or did you deceitfully pretend this as a bond of brotherhood, contriving to become a member of the church, but the whole thing was prepared by you with the intent, that you might receive without fail the fodder for satiety and gluttony and live a life both without care and without toil? If, then, you came to become a servant of Christ and our brother, keep, I beseech you, also His commandments, and be eager to serve him fervently, so that you may appear a true Christian from your works and be called our God-loving brother, being like us in all things; suffer hardship together as a good soldier, so that you may both be crowned and be glorified with Him, rejoicing in eternal glory. But if you came pretending entirely to be tonsured and to become a monk, but you only intended to eat and drink with them, finding all things ready, forsooth, of their own accord, listen and I will tell you what things are going to meet you. First, which is also the greatest, know that you have not been reconciled nor brought near to God, but you are counted His enemy and a plotter; and how are you not a plotter, other things

15

ἐνταῦθα ἤ μετά θάνατον; Ὁ δέ καί ἀντιλέγων καί καταστενάζων καί ἐπαρώμενος τοῖς αὐτόν διεγείρουσι πρός ὕμνον θεῖον καί δοξολογίαν Θεοῦ, ποίαν ἀπολογίαν εὑρήσει ἐν τῇ ἡμέρᾳ τῆς κρίσεως, καί ἑαυτῷ καί ἑτέροις σκάνδαλον ἀπωλείας γενόμενος;

Πιστεύσατέ μοι, πνευματικοί μου πατέρες καί ἀδελφοί, ὅταν ταῦτα ἀκούσω ἤ θεάσωμαί τινα ἐξ ὑμῶν διά ταῦτα δεινοπαθοῦντα, τοιαύτῃ θλίψει συνέχομαι καί τήν καρδίαν μου δάκνομαι, ὡς αὐτῇ τῇ κολάσει δοκεῖν παραδίδοσθαι, καί χαρᾶς οὐκ ἐπαισθάνομαι οὐδεμιᾶς ἄλλης τοῦ κόσμου, ἀλλά καί αὐτήν ἀπολέγομαι τήν ζωήν· καί κλαίω καί θρηνῶ, ὡς ἤδη κατακρινόμενος, καί τοι παρακαλῶν ὑμᾶς οὐκ ἀκούομαι, ἐπιτιμῶν (47) ἀποπέμπομαι, ἐλέγχων μισοῦμαι καί παιδεύων ἀντιπαιδεύομαι καί ὡς ἐχθρός ἐκδιώκομαι, καί ταῦτα ποιῶν ἀνάπαυσιν οὐ δύναμαι κτήσασθαι. Βουλεύομαι παύσασθαι καί τά ἐμαυτοῦ μόνα σκοπεῖν κακά, ἀλλ᾿ ὅταν τοῦτο στῆσαι θελήσω, τότε ὡς φλόξ ἀνάπτεται ἡ καρδία μου καί πάλιν ἐν τοῖς αὐτοῖς, ὁ ταπεινός, περιέχομαι καί ὀδυνᾶμαι τά ὑμετέρα τραύματα οὐχ ἧττον ἤ τοῖς ἰδίοις μώλωψιν ἀλγύνεται ἕκαστος, καί ὑπέρ ὑμῶν ἐγώ φλέγομαι, καί τόν βίον ἡγοῦμαι ἀβίωτον, καί θαυμάζειν μοι ἔπεισι πῶς εἰς τοιαύτην κατήλθομεν σκότωσιν καί κατά τῶν ἰδίων ψυχῶν πάντα πράττομεν καί ἑαυτούς κατασφάζοντες ὡς ζῶντες ἀπολακτίζομεν, καί δεσμοῦντες τοῖς ἁμαρτήμασιν ἑαυτούς χαίρομεν καί τούς αἴροντας τά τοιαῦτα δεσμά κατεσθίομεν. Ἐάν κωλυθῶμεν παρά τινος μηδέν κατά τῶν ψυχῶν ἡμῶν διαπράξασθαι, ὡς κύνες μαινόμενοι καθυλακτοῦμεν καί μεμφόμεθα αὐτόν, καί οὐ παυόμεθα μέχρις οὗ τήν πρᾶξιν ποιήσομεν καί τάς ψυχάς ἡμῶν ἀπολέσομεν. Εἶτα καί εἰς τά τοιαῦτα ἐθισθέντες παράνομα, φυσικῶς, εἰπεῖν, κακοί γινόμεθα καί οὐκέτι ἀνανεῦσαι βουλόμεθα. Μοναχοί ἐπηγγειλάμεθα εἶναι καί πλεῖον τῶν κοσμικῶν ἐκακώθημεν. Πεινᾶσαι καί διψῆσαι καί κακοπαθῆσαι συνεταξάμεθα, καί ὑπέρ ἑνός κλάσματος ἄρτου λογομαχεῖν καί βλασφημεῖν οὐκ αἰσχυνόμεθα, καί τότε ἴσως ἐπιζητουμένου παρ᾿ ἡμῶν παρά τόν ὡρισμένον καιρόν τῆς τροφῆς. Πᾶσι τοῖς ἐν τῷ κόσμῳ, γονεῦσι, λέγω, καί ἀδελφοῖς καί φίλοις, ἤλθομεν ἀποτάξασθαι, καί τρέφειν μᾶλλον αὐτούς ἐκ τῶν τῆς μονῆς ἄρτων οὐ διαλιμπάνομεν. Ὡς ἐχθρόν τόν κόσμον ἐφύγομεν, καί τούς τοῦ κόσμου καί τά τοῦ κόσμου πλέον ἤ (48) αὐτόν τόν Χριστόν ἀγαπῶμεν.

Εἰπέ μοι, ἐρωτῶ σε, ἀδελφέ, πιστεύων εἶναι κρίσιν καί ἀνάστασιν καί ἀνταπόδοσιν τῶν βεβιωμένων, ἦλθες ἐν τῇ μονῇ ὁμολογῶν εἶναι Θεόν μέλλοντα ἀποδοῦναι ἑκάστῳ κατά τάς πράξεις αὐτοῦ, ἤ οὐδέ τινα τούτων διέθου ἐν τῇ καρδίᾳ σου; Τηρῆσαι τάς συνθήκας ἅς συνέθου καί συνετάξω τῷ Χριστῷ ἐπί πολλῶν μαρτύρων ἐλήλυθας, ἤ τοῦτο μέν ὡς δεσμόν ἀδελφότητος δολίως προσεποιήσω, μέλος γενέσθαι τῆς ἐκκλησίας περιδρασσόμενος, τό δέ ὅλον ἦν σοι ἐν μελέτῃ κατεσκευασμένον, ἵνα λαμβάνῃς ἀνελλιπῶς τά πρός χορτασίαν καί γαστριμαργίαν χορτάσματα καί ζῇς βίον ἀμέριμνόν τε καί ἄπονον; Εἰ μέν οὖν παρεγένου δοῦλος γενέσθαι Χριστοῦ καί ἡμέτερος ἀδελφός, φύλασσε, παρακαλῶ, καί τάς αὐτοῦ ἐντολάς, καί θερμῶς δουλεύειν αὐτῷ προθυμήθητι, ἵνα φανῇς χριστανός ἀληθής ἐκ τῶν ἔργων καί ἀδελφός ἡμῶν φιλόθεος χρηματίσῃς, ἡμῖν ἐν πᾶσιν ἐξομοιούμενος· συγκακόπαθησον ὡς καλός στρατιώτης, ἵνα καί στεφανωθῇς καί συνδοξασθῇς, αἰωνίῳ δόξῃ ἐπευφραινόμενος. Εἰ δέ τό πᾶν σχηματιζόμενος μέν κουρεύεσθαι καί μοναχός γίνεσθαι ἦλθες, τρώγειν δέ καί πίνειν μετ᾿ αὐτῶν ἐμελέτησας μόνον, ἕτοιμα τά πάντα εὑρίσκων δῆθεν ἐξ αὐτομάτου, ἄκουσον καί ἐγώ σοι λέξω ἅ σοι μέλλουσιν ὑπαντῆσαι. Πρῶτον μέν, ὅ καί μέγιστον, ἴσθι ὡς οὐ κατηλλάγης οὐδέ προσῳκειώθης Θεῷ, ἀλλά ἐχθρός λελόγισαι αὐτοῦ καί ἐπίβουλος· καί πῶς δέ οὐκ ἐπίβουλος, ἄλλα