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Being continually shot at by him, he endured every kind of temptation, and each one with every kind of excess. For the things in life that seem and are grievous, these are most of all: poverty and sickness and loss of children and the uprising of enemies and the ingratitude of friends and famine and continual pains of the flesh and revilings and slanders and acquiring an evil reputation; and all these were poured out upon one body and scattered upon a single soul; and what was indeed more difficult, that it attacked him when he was unpracticed. What I mean is this: one born of poor parents and raised in such a house, having been trained and practiced, would easily bear the weight of poverty; but one surrounded by so much money and priding himself on so much wealth, then suddenly falling into the opposite condition, would not easily endure the change; for to one who is untrained, it seems more difficult when it strikes suddenly. Again, one who is obscure and born of obscure parents and lives in continual contempt, would not be greatly disturbed when reviled and insulted; but one who has enjoyed such glory and been attended by all as a bodyguard and been on everyone's lips and proclaimed everywhere with great distinction, when brought down to dishonor and insignificance, would suffer the same as one who suddenly became poor from being rich; again, one who loses children, even if he loses them all, but not at the same time, has those who remain as a consolation for those who have departed; and if, when the suffering for the death of the first has ceased, the death of the second occurs after some time, this suffering becomes gentler for him; for it does not come upon a fresh wound, but one that is already dormant and has faded, which takes away no small part of the pain. But this man saw his whole chorus snatched away in a single moment of time and by a most bitter manner of death. For the death was both violent and untimely, and the time and the place made no small addition to the grief; for it was during a banquet and in the house that was open to guests that the house became their tomb. What can one say of that famine, stranger than any and impossible to explain, the voluntary, the involuntary? For I do not know what to call it, nor do I find a name to give to this paradoxical kind of misfortune. For he abstained from the table set before him and did not touch the foods in his sight. For the foul smell from the wounds on his body, assailing him, destroyed his appetite and filled the very table with its loathsomeness. And showing this he said: “For I see my food as filth.” And while the necessity of hunger forced him to touch what was set before him, the overwhelming stench from his flesh overcame the force of his hunger. For this reason I said: “I do not know what to call it.” Voluntary? But he wanted to taste what was set before him. But involuntary? But the food was present, and there was no one preventing him. How could I describe the pains, the plagues of worms, the ichor flowing down, the reproaches of his friends, the contempt of his servants—“for my servants,” he says, “did not spare my face from spitting”—those who trample on him, those who leap upon him? “For those whom I did not consider,” he says, “worthy of the dogs of my flocks, these now have fallen upon me, and being the least of men, admonish me.” Do not all these things seem difficult to you? For they are difficult. Should I speak of the sum of the evils, the summit of the misfortune that was especially choking him? The storm of disturbances arising in his thoughts, this was the unbearable thing that especially drowned him; and his clear conscience was what most created the inward tempest, and darkened his reason, and troubled the pilot. For those who are conscious in themselves of many sins, even if they suffer something terrible, are able at least to find the reason for what is happening, by reckoning up their own sins

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κατατοξευόμενος παρ' αὐτοῦ συνεχῶς ἅπαν ὑπέμεινε πειρασμῶν εἶδος καὶ ἕκαστον μεθ' ὑπερβολῆς ἁπάσης. Τὰ γὰρ δοκοῦντα εἶναι κατὰ τὸν βίον λυπηρὰ καὶ ὄντα, ταῦτα μάλιστα πάντων ἐστὶ πενία καὶ νόσος καὶ παίδων ἀποβολὴ καὶ ἐχθρῶν ἐπανάστασις καὶ φίλων ἀγνωμοσύνη καὶ λιμὸς καὶ σαρκὸς ὀδύναι διηνεκεῖς καὶ λοιδορίαι καὶ συκοφαντίαι καὶ τὸ πονηρὰν κτήσασθαι ὑπόληψιν· καὶ ταῦτα ἅπαντα εἰς ἓν ἐξεχύθη σῶμα καὶ μιᾶς κατεσκεδάσθη ψυχῆς· καὶ τὸ δὴ χαλεπώτερον ὅτι καὶ ἀμελετήτῳ ὄντι ἐπέθετο. Ὃ δὲ λέγω τοιοῦτόν ἐστιν· ὁ ἐκ πενήτων τεχθεὶς καὶ ἐν οἰκίᾳ τοιαύτῃ τραφείς, ἅτε γυμνασάμενος καὶ μελετήσας, ῥᾳδίως ἂν ἐνέγκαι τῆς πενίας τὸ βάρος· ὁ δὲ τοσούτοις περιρρεόμενος χρήμασι καὶ τοσούτῳ πλούτῳ κομῶν, εἶτα ἀθρόον εἰς τὸ ἐναντίον μεταπεσών, οὐκ ἂν εὐκόλως ὑπομεῖναι τὴν μεταβολήν· καὶ γὰρ ἀγυμνάστῳ ὄντι χαλεπωτέρα φαίνεται ἀθρόον προσπεσοῦσα. Πάλιν ὁ ἄσημος καὶ ἐξ ἀσήμων γενόμενος καὶ ἐν τῷ διηνεκῶς καταφρονεῖσθαι ζῶν, οὐκ ἂν σφόδρα λοιδορούμενος καὶ ὑβριζόμενος ταραχθείη· ὁ δὲ τοσαύτης ἀπολαύσας δόξης καὶ παρὰ πάντων δορυφορούμενος καὶ ἐν τοῖς ἁπάντων στόμασιν ὢν καὶ πανταχοῦ μετὰ πολλῆς ἀνακηρυττόμενος τῆς περιφανείας, εἰς ἀτιμίαν καὶ εὐτέλειαν κατενεχθεὶς τὸ αὐτὸ ἂν πάθοι τῷ ἀπὸ πλουσίου ἀθρόον γενομένῳ πένητι· ὁ παῖδας ἀποβαλὼν πάλιν, κἂν ἅπαντας ἀποβάλῃ, μὴ ἐν ἑνὶ δὲ καιρῷ, τοὺς λειπομένους ἔχει τῶν ἀπελθόντων παραμυθίαν καὶ τῆς ἐπὶ προτέρων τελευτῆς τοῦ πάθους λήξαντος, ἂν ἡ τοῦ δευτέρου προσγένηται μετὰ χρόνον, τοῦτο αὐτῷ προσηνέστερον γίνεται τὸ πάθος· οὐ γὰρ νεαρῷ ὄντι ἔπεισι τῷ ἕλκει, ἀλλὰ κοιμηθέντι ἤδη καὶ ἀφανισθέντι, ὅπερ οὐκ ὀλίγον ὑποτέμνεται τῆς ὀδύνης. Οὗτος δὲ ὁλόκληρον αὐτῷ τὸν χορὸν εἶδεν ἐν μιᾷ ἀναρπασθέντα καιροῦ ῥοπῇ καὶ τρόπῳ πικροτάτῳ τελευτῆς. Καὶ γὰρ καὶ βίαιος καὶ ἄωρος ὁ θάνατος ἦν, καὶ ὁ καιρὸς δὲ καὶ ὁ τόπος οὐ μικρὰν ἐποίει τῷ πένθει προσθήκην· καὶ γὰρ ἐν ὥρᾳ συμποσίου καὶ ἐν οἰκίᾳ τῇ τοῖς ξένοις ἀνεῳγμένῃ καὶ τάφος αὐτοῖς ὁ οἶκος ἐγένετο. Τί ἄν τις εἴποι τὸν λιμὸν ἐκεῖνον τὸν καινότερον καὶ ἑρμηνευθῆναι μὴ δυνάμενον, τὸν ἑκούσιον, τὸν ἀκούσιον; Οὐ γὰρ οἶδα πῶς αὐτὸν καλέσω, οὐδὲ εὑρίσκω ὄνομα ἐπιθεῖναι τῷ παραδόξῳ τῆς συμφορᾶς εἴδει. Καὶ γὰρ παρακειμένης ἀπείχετο τῆς τραπέζης καὶ ὁρωμένων οὐχ ἥπτετο τῶν σιτίων. Τῶν γὰρ περὶ τὸ σῶμα τραυμάτων ἡ δυσωδία προσαπαντῶσα κατέλυε τὴν ἐπιθυμίαν καὶ αὐτὴν ἐνεπίμπλα τὴν τράπεζαν τῆς ἀηδίας. Καὶ τοῦτο δηλῶν ἔλεγεν· «Βρῶμον γὰρ ὁρῶ τὰ σῖτά μου.» Καὶ ἡ μὲν ἀνάγκη τοῦ λιμοῦ τῶν προκειμένων ἅπτεσθαι ἐβιάζετο· ἡ δὲ τῆς δυσωδίας ὑπερβολὴ τῆς ἐκ τῶν σαρκῶν γινομένης ἐνίκα τοῦ λιμοῦ τὴν βίαν. ∆ιὰ δὴ τοῦτο εἶπον· «Οὐκ ἔχω πῶς αὐτὸν καλέσω.» Ἑκούσιον; Ἀλλ' ἐβούλετο ἀπογεύεσθαι τῶν προκειμένων. Ἀλλὰ ἀκούσιον; Ἀλλὰ παρῆν τὰ σιτία, καὶ οὐδεὶς ὁ κωλύων ἦν. Πῶς ἂν διηγησαίμην τὰς ὀδύνας, τὰς πληγὰς τῶν σκωλήκων, τὸν ἰχῶρα τὸν καταρρέοντα, τὰ ὀνείδη τῶν φίλων, τὴν καταφρόνησιν τῶν οἰκετῶν-»οὐ γὰρ ἐφείσαντό μου, φησίν, οἱ οἰκέται μου ἀπὸ προσώπου ἐμπτυσμάτων»-, τοὺς ἐπεμβαίνοντας, τοὺς ἐφαλλομένους; «Οὓς γὰρ οὐχ ἡγησάμην, φησίν, ἀξίους εἶναι κυνῶν τῶν ἐμῶν νομάδων, οὗτοι νῦν ἐπιπεπτώκασί μοι καὶ νουθετοῦσί με ἐλάχιστοι.» Οὐ δοκεῖ σοι ταῦτα πάντα χαλεπὰ εἶναι; Καὶ γάρ ἐστι χαλεπά. Εἴπω τὸ κεφάλαιον τῶν κακῶν, τὸν κολοφῶνα τῆς συμφορᾶς τὸν μάλιστα ἄγχοντα αὐτόν; Ὁ χειμὼν τῶν θορύβων τῶν ἐν τῷ λογισμῷ γινομένων αὐτῷ οὗτος μάλιστα ἦν αὐτὸν ἀποπνίγων ἀφόρητος, καὶ τὸ συνειδὸς αὐτοῦ τὸ καθαρὸν τοῦτο μάλιστα ἐποίει τὴν ἔνδον ζάλην καὶ ἐσκότου τὸν λογισμὸν καὶ τὸν κυβερνήτην ἐτάραττεν. Οἱ μὲν γὰρ ἑαυτοῖς συνειδότες ἁμαρτήματα πολλά, κἂν πάθωσί τι δεινόν, ἔχουσι κἂν τὸν λόγον εὑρεῖν τῶν γινομένων, τὰς ἁμαρτίας τὰς ἑαυτῶν ἀναλογιζόμενοι