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second and darkened in my life, not the things owed concerning the episcopacy (alas for my incompetence), but the things concerning the monastic, or rather, the abbatial state, how, having led according to reason the flock unworthily entrusted to me, I might find God merciful on the day of my fearful accounting. But you have surely experienced this out of extreme humility; for it is not right for me to suspect that your Holiness is testing my lack of education. Therefore, I fear the things of my own rank, O sacred head, and I am truly dizzy concerning the spiritual governance, how then I might save from the much-troubled and ever-stormy intelligible sea this very small and rational little boat entrusted to me into a harbor of salvation; because for this there is need of both a pure way of life and the attainment of sufficient knowledge, so that, steering with two rudders, as it were, I might vigilantly and skillfully keep both myself and those who follow me from being submerged in the waters of sin. This then is my wretched defense. But since it is not without danger to leave the command of your Holiness entirely disobeyed, even if it is beyond my ability, especially since I have received the command from my own father, trusting in the obedience of both, I address this to you, O most divine father, in the form of a reminder, that the ship of your perfection is much greater and more exceeding than my small boat (I mean, the episcopal height compared to the abbatial dignity) and so much so, as you have been deemed worthy to rule over more people, and these perhaps not willing nor of one mind nor of the same nature and worth, but both male and female, monks and laity, rulers and ruled, married and unmarried, slaves and free, orphans and widows, rich and poor, powerful and oppressed, debtors and creditors, those living luxuriously and those starving, those with many possessions and those without clothing, those wearing soft garments and those clothed in rags. For these things and more than these do not appear in our life, but yours is filled with them. And not all your people are governed by a single care, nor do you know all their faces and names, nor do you discern the ways of life of each one, but they differ greatly one from another; for some perhaps are farmers, others sailors, others shepherds, others are idle, others are subject to exactions, and great is the account of the work seen in each. And in all these things, how great and of what kind is the labor, as I, the thoughtless one, reckon, how great the sweat, the struggle, the race, the exertion, the thought, the care, the wasting of the flesh, the anguish of the soul, the weariness of the mind. Just as, therefore, the one who steers a ship in a great squall and storm at sea is entirely sober and steadfast, having a sleepless eye (for to let inexperience and carelessness slip in even a little brings no small danger), so much more must the pilot of souls know the work of leadership more strenuously and more accurately, lest he be submerged in the abyss of destruction. For these reasons, I think, most holy one, the great apostle cried out: Who is weak, and I am not weak? Who is made to stumble, and I do not burn? And again, that to the Jews I became as a Jew, to those under the law as under the law, to those without law as without law, though not being without law, but under the law of Christ. I have become all things to all people, that I might win over all. Behold, thus also the rules and definitions of the episcopacy according to him, just as our own divine fathers prescribe. Therefore, having read and understood the things of the saints and having in hand the divinely delivered oracles, why do you seek such a thing from wretched me? I think that the bishop is an overseer and responsible for the conduct of all those who are ruled, a messenger who is not silent, proclaiming the judgments of God, a sleepless eye watching over the ways of each of those led forth by him,

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δεύτερος καὶ τῷ βίῳ ἐσκοτισμένος, οὐ τὰ περὶ ἐπισκοπῆς ὀφειλόμενα (φεῦ γὰρ τῆς ἐμῆς ἀνικανίας), ἀλλὰ τὰ περὶ μοναχικῆς εἴτουν ἡγουμενικῆς καταστάσεως, τὸ πῶς ἆρα ἀφηγησάμενος κατὰ λόγον τὸ ἐμπιστευθέν μοι ἀναξίως ποίμνιον εὕροιμι θεὸν ἵλεω ἐν ἡμέρᾳ τῆς φρικτῆς ἀπολογίας μου. Ἀλλὰ τοῦτο πέπονθας πάντως ἐξ ἄκρας μετριοφροσύνης· ἐκπειράζειν γάρ μου τὴν ἀπαιδευσίαν οὐ θέμις με ὑπονοεῖν τὴν ἀρχιερωσύνην σου. ἐγὼ τοίνυν δέδοικα τὰ τοῦ οἰκείου βαθμοῦ, ὦ ἱερὰ κεφαλή, καὶ ἰλιγγιῶ περὶ τὴν ψυχικὴν κυβέρνησιν τῷ ὄντι, πῶς δὴ οὖν ἐκ τῆς πολυταράχου καὶ ἀεικυμάντου νοητῆς θαλάσσης ἀποσώσαιμι τὸ ἐγχειρισθέν μοι τοῦτο βραχύτατον καὶ λογικὸν πλοιάριον εἰς λιμένα σωτηρίας· ὅτι πρὸς τοῦτο καὶ πολιτείας ἀκραιφνοῦς χρεία καὶ γνώσεως ἱκανῆς ἐπιτυχία, ἵν', ὡς ἐν δυσὶν αὐχῆσι πηδαλιουχῶν, γρηγόρως καὶ ἐπιστημόνως ἀκαταβάπτιστον τοῖς ὕδασι τῆς ἁμαρτίας ἐμαυτόν τε καὶ τοὺς ἑπομένους μοι διαφυλάττω. Αὕτη τοίνυν ἡ ἐμὴ ἀπολογία τοῦ ταλαιπώρου. ἐπεὶ δὲ τὸ τῆς ὁσιότητός σου κέλευμα οὐκ ἀκίνδυνον πάντῃ καταλιπεῖν, εἰ καὶ ὑπὲρ δύναμίν μου, ἀνυπήκοον, ἄλλως τε καὶ ἐκ τοῦ οἰκείου μου πατρὸς τὴν ἐπιταγὴν δεξάμενος, πεποιθὼς τῇ ἀμφοτέρων εὐπειθείᾳ τοῦτό σοι, ὦ θειότατε πάτερ, ἐν εἴδει ὑπομνήσεως ἐπιφθέγγομαι, ὅτι μεῖζον κατὰ πολὺ καὶ ὑπερβάλλον τὸ πλοῖον τῆς σῆς τελειότητος πρὸς τὸ ἐμὸν νηάριον (φημὶ δὴ τὸ ἐπισκοπικὸν ὕψωμα πρὸς τὸ ἡγουμενικὸν ἀξίωμα) καὶ τοσοῦτον, ὅσῳπερ ἂν καὶ πλειόνων ἄρχειν ἠξιώθης, καὶ ταῦτα οὐχ ἑκόντων ἴσως οὐδὲ ὁμογνωμόνων οὐδὲ τῆς αὐτῆς φύσεως καὶ ἀξίας, ἀλλὰ καὶ ἀρρένων καὶ θηλείων, μοναστῶν τε καὶ μιγάδων, ἀρχόντων τε καὶ ἀρχομένων, γημώντων τε καὶ ἀγάμων, δούλων τε καὶ ἐλευθέρων, ὀρφανῶν τε καὶ χηρευόντων, πλουσίων τε καὶ πενήτων, δυναστευόντων τε καὶ καταπονουμένων, χρεωφειλετῶν τε καὶ δανειστῶν, ἁβροδιαιτούντων τε καὶ λιμοκτονουμένων, πολυκτημόνων τε καὶ ἀνεσθήτων, μαλακοφορούντων τε καὶ ῥακοδυτούντων. ταῦτα γὰρ καὶ πλείω τούτων οὐκ ἐπιφαίνεται τῷ ἡμετέρῳ βίῳ, ὁ δὲ σὸς ἐμπέπλησται. καὶ οὐδὲ πᾶς ὁ λαός σου ὑπὸ μιᾶς φροντίδος δεδιοίκηται οὐδὲ πάντων τὰ πρόσωπα καὶ τὰ ὀνόματα οἶσθα οὐδὲ ἑκάστου τὰς μεθόδους τῆς ζωῆς διαγινώσκεις, ἀλλὰ ἄλλοι ἄλλως κατὰ πολὺ τὸ διάφορον ἔχουσιν· οἱ μὲν γὰρ ἴσως γεωπονοῦσιν, οἱ δὲ ναυτίλλουσιν, οἱ δὲ ποιμενεύουσιν, οἱ δὲ ἀπρακτοῦσιν, οἱ δὲ πρακτορεύονται, καὶ πολὺς ὁ λόγος τῆς ἐφ' ἑκάστῳ ὁρωμένης ἐργασίας. Ἐπὶ τούτοις δὲ πᾶσιν ὅσος καὶ ὁπηλίκος ὁ κόπος, καθὰ λογίζομαι ὁ ἀλόγιστος, ὅσος ὁ ἱδρώς, ὁ ἀγών, ὁ δρόμος, ἡ εὐτονία, ἡ φροντίς, ἡ μέριμνα, ἡ ἔκτηξις τῆς σαρκός, ἡ ὀδύνη τῆς ψυχῆς, ἡ τῆς διανοίας κατακοπή. ὥσπερ οὖν ὁ ἀπευθύνων τὴν ναῦν ἐν μεγάλῃ ζάλῃ καὶ καταιγίδι θαλάσσης ὅλος νήφων ἐστὶ καὶ ἀπερίτρεπτος, ἀνύστακτον ἔχων τὸν ὀφθαλμὸν (οὐδὲ γὰρ εἰς βραχὺν φέρει κίνδυνον τὸ μικρῶς πως παρεμπεσεῖν ἀπειρίαν καὶ ἀμέλειαν), οὕτω πολλῷ μᾶλλον ὁ κυβερνήτης τῶν ψυχῶν ἀγωνιστικώτερον καὶ ἀκριβέστερον ὀφείλει εἰδέναι τὸ τῆς προστασίας ἔργον, ἵνα μὴ ὑποβρύχιος γένηται τῷ βυθῷ τῆς ἀπωλείας. διὰ ταῦτα, ὡς οἶμαι, ἁγιώτατε, ἐβόα ὁ μέγας ἀπόστολος τίς ἀσθενεῖ καὶ οὐκ ἀσθενῶ; τίς σκανδαλίζεται καὶ οὐκ ἐγὼ πυροῦμαι; καὶ πάλιν ὅτι ἐγενόμην τοῖς Ἰουδαίοις ὡς Ἰουδαῖος, τοῖς ὑπὸ νόμον ὡς ὑπὸ νόμον, τοῖς ἀνόμοις ὡς ἄνομος, μὴ ὢν ἄνομος, ἀλλ' ἔννομος Χριστοῦ. τοῖς πᾶσι γέγονα τὰ πάντα, ἵνα τοὺς πάντας κερδήσω. ἰδοὺ οὕτως καὶ οἱ κατ' αὐτὸν κανόνες καὶ ὅροι ἐπισκοπῆς καθάπερ καὶ αὐτοὶ οἱ θεσπέσιοι πατέρες ἡμῶν διαγορεύουσιν. Λοιπὸν ἀναγνοὺς καὶ διαγνοὺς τὰ τῶν ἁγίων καὶ ἐπὶ χεῖρας ἔχων τὰ θεοπαράδοτα λόγια, τί πρὸς ἐμοῦ τοῦ τάλανος τοιοῦτόν τι ἐπιζητεῖς; ἐγὼ δοκῶ τὸν ἐπίσκοπον εἶναι ἔφορον καὶ ὑπεύθυνον τῆς ἐπὶ πᾶσι τῶν ἀρχομένων γενομένης διαπράξεως, ἄγγελον ἀσίγητον, τὰ τοῦ θεοῦ δικαιώματα κηρύσσοντα, ὄμμα ἀκοίμητον τὰς ἑκάστου ὁδοὺς τῶν ὑπ' αὐτοῦ ἐξαγομένων ἐπιβλεπόμενον,