19

There were assemblies, whose they were at that time (for I hesitate to say again what I am ashamed of), but they were of all, which is to say of none; for rule by many is anarchy. But my illness was a good protector, which kept me at home very often indeed, looking to one thing only, the departure, which held release from all evils. Therefore what was decided, let this also be established as law. There were some, who though by force and with difficulty, nevertheless came together, who had some share of frankness, for whom ignorance of the evil was an advocate, stolen by the duplicity of the teachings, both the proclamation between them, which was pious, and the offspring utterly alien to its parents. But I will admit the great rabble of Christ-traffickers then, when someone mixes filth with the fragrance of pure myrrh. For it is easier to partake of evil than of good. The innovator was not pleased with these (so the rash call the prudent), but neither were they with the prudent one. Therefore that Lot and the patriarch Abraham came to be; one goes this way, the other the opposite, so as not to be constrained in the breadth of their possessions. Why must I say with how many and what kind of words my dearest friends assailed these gray hairs, giving the first place, but asking for the genuine, alas, the genuine Gregory, genuine friends indeed, but for a conspiracy of evils; that is, to have a co-worker in all things. How in all things? Who imagined such a thing, that a crowd would lead me to something, and not the word of God? Sooner will the nature of springs flow upwards and fire travel in the opposite direction, than I will betray anything of my salvation.

From there I stole my foot from their midst. And it was clear; for I changed my house, dragging myself from the depths of the church, far from evils and words and assemblies. Except for all the things my adherents lamented—the people especially, that I may not speak of all—shouting, supplicating, raising their hands to God, adjuring, mourning me as already dead—what suffering, what tears. How was it possible to bear these things, and with what kind of mind? “Will you leave us, your ear of corn, as we have heard, once thin, but now a bountiful harvest? And the people who have come, some standing at your doors, for whom you only need to open, others already inside, and the hunter of strangers, to whom will you betray them? Who will nurture your offspring? Honor your own labors, to which you gave yourself; give what remains of your breath to us and to God. Let this church be the farewell-escort of your life.” These things were a breaking, but still I endured. A little while, and God gives the solution. For they came, they came suddenly, having been summoned, as if to contribute something to the aim of peace, both Egyptians and Macedonians, workers of the laws and mysteries of God, breathing on us a western and harsh wind. But a people of sun-warmed minds went out against them. And like boars sharpening their wild jaws (so that I might imitate something of tragedy), looking askance with fiery eyes they joined battle. And amid the many movements, moved more by anger than by reason, they also considered something more bitter concerning my affairs, twisting laws long dead, from which we were most greatly and clearly free; not, however, out of enmity for me nor hastening the throne for another, by no means, so much as from pain at those who had enthroned me, as at least they clearly persuaded me with secret declarations. For they said they knew their insolence was not to be borne, how great it was in old and in new matters. But I for a time, like a tethered horse, although worn down by evils and by sickness, did not cease stamping my feet indoors and I neighed like a slave from my bonds of constraint, longing for pastures and my own solitude. But when they saw fit to stir up what I mentioned before, I broke my bonds and gladly seized the opportunity (I could never persuade the lovers of power, it is clear, but it is true). For it was my moment; and coming into their midst I said these things: “Men, whom God has brought together, that you might deliberate on matters dear to God, let our own affair be of secondary importance; for it is a small thing, at least in relation to so great an assembly, how it will ever turn out, even if we are lifted up in vain; but you, lift up your mind to something greater. Become one, be bound together, at last. For how long will we be laughed at as savages, learning this one thing, to breathe strife? Give eagerly your right hands

19

σύλλογοι μὲν ἦσαν, ὧν ἦσαν τότε (ὀκνῶ γὰρ εἰπεῖν αὖθις, οἷς αἰσχύνομαι), ἦσαν δὲ πάντων, ἶσον εἰπεῖν οὐδενός· ἀναρχία γάρ ἐστιν ἡ πλεισταρχία. Ἐμοῦ δὲ καλῶς ἡ νόσος προεστάτει, ἥ μ' εἶργεν οἴκοι πολλὰ δὴ καὶ πολλάκις πρὸς ἓν μόνον βλέποντα, τὴν ἐκδημίαν, ἣ πάντων εἶχε τῶν κακῶν ἀπαλλαγήν. ὃ δ' οὖν παρέστη, τοῦτο καὶ κείσθω νόμος. τινὲς μὲν ἦσαν, οἳ βίᾳ μὲν καὶ μόγις, ἀλλ' οὖν συνῆλθον, οἷς τι μετῆν παρρησίας, ὅσοις ἄγνοια τοῦ κακοῦ συνήγορος τῇ διπλόῃ κλαπεῖσι τῶν διδαγμάτων τό τ' ἐν μέσῳ κήρυγμα εὐσεβῶς ἔχον, τόκος τεκόντων παντελῶς ἀλλότριος. τὸν συρφετὸν δὲ τὸν πολὺν χριστεμπόρων τότε προσήσομ', ἡνίκ' ἂν καὶ βόρβορον εὐωδίᾳ μίξῃ τις ἀχράντου μύρου. ῥᾷον κακοῦ γὰρ ἢ καλοῦ μετουσία. τούτοις ὁ καινόδοξος οὐκ ἠρέσκετο (οὕτω καλοῦσι τοὺς προμηθεῖς οἱ θρασεῖς), ἀλλ' οὐδ' ἐκεῖνοι τῷ προμηθεῖ. γίνετ' οὖν ὁ Λὼτ ἐκεῖνος ὁ πατριάρχης τ' Ἀβραάμ· ὁ μὲν βαδίζει τήν, ὁ δὲ τὴν ἐναντίαν, ὡς μὴ στενοῦσθαι τῷ πλάτει τῆς κτήσεως. Τί δεῖ λέγειν, ὅσοις τε καὶ οἵοις λόγοις ταύτην ἐπείρων τὴν πολιὰν οἱ φίλτατοι, τὰ πρῶτα μὲν διδόντες, αἰτοῦντες δέ γε τὸ γνήσιον, φεῦ, Γρηγόριον τὸν γνήσιον, οἱ γνήσιοι μέν, εἰς δὲ σύμπνοιαν κακῶν· τὸ δ' ἐστίν, εἰς ἅπαντα συνεργοῦντ' ἔχειν. πῶς εἰς ἅπαντα; τίς δ' ἐφαντάσθη τόσον, ὡς πλῆθος ἄξει πρός τί μ', οὐ θεοῦ λόγος; πρόσθεν ῥυήσετ' εἰς ἄνω πηγῶν φύσις καὶ πῦρ ὁδεύσει τὴν ἐναντίαν φοράν, ἤ τι προδώσω τῆς ἐμῆς σωτηρίας.

Ἐντεῦθεν ἐξέκλεπτον ἐκ μέσου πόδα. δῆλον δέ· καὶ γὰρ οἶκον ἀντηλλαξάμην ἕλκων ἐμαυτὸν ἐκ βυθῶν ἐκκλησίας πόρρω κακῶν τε καὶ λόγων καὶ συλλόγων. πλὴν ὅσα κατεστέναζον οἱ προσκείμενοι- λαοῦ μάλιστα, ὡς τὰ πάντων μὴ λέγω- βοῶντες, ἱκετεύοντες, εἰς θεὸν χέρας αἴροντες, ὁρκίζοντες, ὡς τεθνηκότα πενθοῦντες ἤδη-τοῦ πάθους, τῶν δακρύων. πῶς ἦν ἐνεγκεῖν ταῦτα καὶ τίνος φρενός; «ἡμᾶς ἀφήσεις τὸν σόν, ὡς ἠκούομεν, στάχυν, στενόν ποτ', εὔκομον δὲ νῦν θέρος; λαὸν δὲ τὸν προσήλυτον, τὸν μὲν θύραις ταῖς σαῖς προσεστῶθ', οἷς ἀνοῖξαι δεῖ μόνον, τὸν δ' ἔνδον ἤδη, τὸν δὲ θηρευτὴν ξένων, τίσιν προήσῃ; τίς σὸν ἐκθρέψει τόκον; τοὺς σοὺς πόνους τίμησον, οἷς †προσερρύης†· δὸς τῆς πνοῆς τὸ λεῖπον ἡμῖν καὶ θεῷ. ναὸς γενέσθω σοῦ βίου πεμπτήριος.» ταῦτ' ἦν κλάσις μέν, ἀλλ' ὅμως ἐκαρτέρουν. Μικρόν τι, καὶ δίδωσι τὴν λύσιν θεός. ἦλθον γάρ, ἦλθον ἐξαπίνης κεκλημένοι, ὡς δή τι συνοίσοντες εἰρήνης σκοπῷ, Αἰγύπτιοί τε καὶ Μακεδόνες, ἐργάται τῶν τοῦ θεοῦ νόμων τε καὶ μυστηρίων, φυσῶντες ἡμῖν ἑσπέριόν τε καὶ τραχύ. τοῖς δ' ἀντεπῄει δῆμος ἡλιοφρόνων. κάπροι δ' ὅπως θήγοντες ἀγρίαν γένυν (ὡς ἂν μιμήσωμαί τι τῆς τραγῳδίας), λοξὸν βλέποντες ἐμπύροις τοῖς ὄμμασιν συνῆπτον. ἐν πολλοῖς δὲ τοῖς κινουμένοις θυμοῦ τὸ πλεῖον ἢ λόγου κινήμασιν καὶ τῶν ἐμῶν τι πικρότερον ἐπεσκόπουν, νόμους στρέφοντες τοὺς πάλαι τεθνηκότας, ὧν πλεῖστον ἦμεν καὶ σαφῶς ἐλεύθεροι· οὐ μὴν πρὸς ἔχθραν τὴν ἐμὴν οὐδὲ θρόνον σπεύδοντες ἄλλῳ, οὐδαμῶς, ὅσον πόνῳ τῶν ἐνθρονιστῶν τῶν ἐμῶν, ὡς γοῦν ἐμέ σαφῶς ἔπειθον λαθρίοις δηλώμασιν. οὐ γὰρ φορητὴν τὴν ὕβριν σφῶν εἰδέναι, ὅση παλαιὰ καὶ νέοις ἐν πράγμασιν. Ἐγὼ δὲ τέως μὲν ὥσπερ ἵππος δέσμιος, καίπερ κακοῖς τε καὶ νόσῳ τετρυμένος, ἔνδον κροαίνων οὐκ ἐπαυσάμην πόδας καὶ δοῦλον ἐχρεμέτιζον ἐκ δεσμῶν βίας ποθῶν νομάς τε τήν τ' ἐμὴν ἐρημίαν. ἐπεὶ δὲ κινεῖν, ἃ προεῖπον, ἠξίουν, ἔρρηξα δεσμὰ τήν τ' ἀφορμὴν ἀσμένως (οὐκ ἂν πείσαιμι τοὺς φιλάρχους οὔποτε, εὔδηλόν ἐστι, πλὴν ἀληθές) ἥρπασα. καιρὸς γὰρ ἦν μοι· καὶ παρελθὼν εἰς μέσους τάδ' εἶπον· «ἄνδρες, οὓς συνήγαγεν θεός, ὡς ἄν τι βουλεύσησθε τῶν θεῷ φίλων, τὸ μὲν καθ' ἡμᾶς δευτέρου κείσθω λόγου· μικρὸν γάρ, ὥς γε πρὸς τοσοῦτον σύλλογον, ὅπως ποθ' ἕξει, κἂν μάτην αἰρώμεθα· ὑμεῖς δὲ πρός τι μεῖζον ὑψοῦτε φρένα. εἰς ἓν γένεσθε, συνδέθητε ὀψὲ γοῦν. ἕως τίνος γελώμεθ' ὡς ἀνήμεροι καὶ τοῦτο μανθάνοντες ἕν, πνέειν μάχην; δότε προθύμως δεξιὰς