18. And since we are seeking the advantage of continency, let us also avoid everything that is pernicious and hostile to it. And I will not pass over those things, which while by negligence they come into use, have made for themselves a usurped licence, contrary to modest and sober manners. Some are not ashamed to be present at marriage parties, and in that freedom of lascivious discourse to mingle in unchaste conversation, to hear what is not becoming, to say what is not lawful, to expose themselves, to be present in the midst of disgraceful words and drunken banquets, by which the ardour of lust is kindled, and the bride is animated to bear, and the bridegroom to dare lewdness.34 [The utterly intolerable paganism here exposed, and fully sustained by Martial and other Latin poets, accounts for much of the discipline of the early Church, and its excessive laudations of virginity.] What place is there at weddings for her whose mind is not towards marriage? Or what can there be pleasant or joyous in those engagements for her, where both desires and wishes are different from her own? What is learnt there—what is seen? How greatly a virgin falls short of her resolution, when she who had come there modest goes away immodest! Although she may remain a virgin in body and mind, yet in eyes, in ears, in tongue, she has diminished the virtues that she possessed.
XVIII. Et quoniam continentiae bonum quaerimus, perniciosa quaeque et infesta vitemus . Nec illa praetereo quae, dum negligentia in usum veniunt, contra pudicos et sobrios mores licentiam sibi de usurpatione fecerunt. Quasdam non pudet nubentibus interesse, et in illa lascivientium libertate sermonum colloquia incesta miscere, audire quod non decet, quod non licet dicere, observari et esse praesentes inter verba turpia et temulenta convivia quibus libidinum fomes accenditur, sponsa ad patientiam stupri, ad audaciam sponsus animatur. Quis illi in nuptiis locus est cui animus ad nuptias non est, aut voluptaria illic et laeta esse quae possunt ubi et studia et vota diversa sunt? Quid illic discitur, quid 0457B videtur? Quantum a proposito suo virgo deficit, quando pudica quae venerat impudica discedit? Corpore licet virgo ac mente permaneat, oculis, 0458A auribus, lingua minuit illa quae habebat.