At this the protonotary became sullen, and reported with dejection the response from the Domestic of the Schools, and at the same time bringing and showing the letters in his hands, he said, "What, you there, using such boldness do you attempt to say such things during this necessary struggle of mine, when I am eager for this one thing, not to see the center left wing turned around, for which is all my struggle." 17. But I shall relate something else more grievous than this, not only falling short of what is fitting, but also most alien to the imperial dignity. Meeting a certain little woman whose son he had adopted, as she was coming from the bath and holding her own water pot in her hands, he dismounted from his horse, and sent the others away to the palace, but having associated with some dissolute and secretive little men 661 he went off with the woman, having taken the water pot from her hands. And he said, "Come now, woman, be of good cheer, receive me at your dwelling, desiring a morsel of bran bread and fresh cheese," perhaps because of the 50 nomismata which he had given to her husband, supposing he possessed some right to her. The woman, astonished at this strange sight, and since she was at a loss for everything, Michael himself placed her towel, which was still wet, on the stool instead of a tablecloth (for she did not have a table), and taking her key the emperor was everything: table-setter, cook, host. And having brought out whatever that poor woman's chest held, he feasted and dined with her, and from there he went back on foot to the palace. 18. And what was more grievous, was the faction of those he had with him, certain satyrs these were and dissolute in every shameful act, whom he held in honor, and for reverence of them he neglected divine things; he put on them priestly vestments woven with gold and omophoria, and forced them to perform the sacred rites indecently and impurely. And he called their exarch patriarch, named Gryllos, and the remaining eleven metropolitans of the choice and illustrious thrones. With whom if he himself did not associate, he did not deign even to be emperor; for the one from Koloneia was first-throned, and the emperor Michael himself was the twelfth. 662 And they performed the odes with lyres; and imitating the mystical parts they sounded shrilly, but the exclamations with unrestrained and piercing force. And they had vessels of pure gold and set with pearls, which they filled with vinegar and mustard and gave to whomever they wished to partake, thus making a mockery of the immaculate mysteries. This Gryllos, therefore, also rode upon a white ass, carrying out public processions, and having such a company following him, he exulted. And once it happened that the blessed Ignatius, coming with the ecclesiastical procession, met them; and hiking up his phelonion with his fellow initiates, he began the clashing of cymbals more vigorously, and assailed the clergy with countless and most shameful words. And being rebuked by the holy man, he himself paid no heed to these things, but for the time being he turned out of the way. To these things the most foolish man exposed himself for irreverent laughter and loud guffaws, by which the holy offering was outraged, and the holy scriptures were outraged, being recited and proclaimed with their unspeakable and impure practices. 19. Not long after, when the most holy Ignatius had been deposed from the patriarchal throne, before the imperial table in the presence of Photius being consecrated and with the divine rites being mocked through a most shameful imitation by contemptible and despicable 663 men, he was so far from rebuking and reproving and putting a stop to the utter absurdity of the practice, that the lawless man rather confirmed the lawless deed, praying for that God-hated Theophilos, also called Gryllos, whom the most uneducated sovereign named his own patriarch, to mock aptly both in priestly vestments and words, and to send forth the greatest rattles in the manner of mules, and for all to drink from it, this alone he deemed worthy to proclaim to them, and to partake of meats with mustard and vinegar; and with his omophorion the unholy man to the unholy one the unholy hierarchy unholily

τούτῳ στυγνάσαντος μὲν τοῦ πρωτονοταρίου, ἀπαγγείλαντος δὲ μετὰ κατηφείας τὴν ἐκ τοῦ δομεστίκου τῶν σχολῶν ἀπόκρισιν, καὶ ἅμα ἐπὶ χεῖρας τὰ γράμματα φέροντά τε καὶ δεικνύοντα, ἐκεῖνος "τί" φησίν, "ὦ οὗτος, τόλμῃ χρησάμενος τοιαῦτα κατὰ τὸν ἀναγκαῖον τοῦτον ἀγῶνά μου διαλέγειν ἐπιχειρεῖς, τοῦτο μόνον σπουδάζοντι, μὴ τὸν μέσον εὐώνυμον ἰδεῖν περιτετραμμένον, ὑπὲρ οὗ μοι πᾶς ὁ ἀγών." 17. Ἀλλὰ καὶ τούτου ἕτερόν τι διηγήσομαι χαλεπώτερον, οὐ μόνον ἐκπῖπτον τοῦ πρέποντος, ἀλλὰ καὶ τῆς βασιλικῆς ἀξίας ὅτι μάλιστα ἀλλότριον. γυναίῳ τινὶ ἧς τὸν παῖδα υἱοθετησάμενος ἦν, ἐκ βαλανείου ἐρχομένην καὶ τὴν ἑαυτῆς κάλπην ἐπὶ χεῖρας ἐχούσῃ συναντήσας τοῦ ἵππου ἀπέβη, καὶ τοὺς μὲν ἄλλους κατὰ τὰ ἀνάκτορα ἀπέστειλεν, ἀκόλαστα δὲ καὶ μυστικὰ ἀνδράρια ἑται 661 ρισάμενος ἀπῄει μετὰ τῆς γυναικός, τὴν κάλπην τῶν ἐκείνης χειρῶν ἀναλαβών. καὶ "ἄγε δή, ὦ γύναι, θαρροῦσα" ἔλεξεν "ἐμὲ κατὰ τὸ σὸν οἴκημα ὑπόδεξαι, ψωμοῦ πιτυρώδους καὶ ἀσβεστοτύρου ἐπιθυμοῦντα," τάχα που ἀπὸ τῶν νʹ νομισμάτων, ἅπερ δέδωκε τῷ ἀνδρὶ αὐτῆς, ὑπολαμβάνων τι κεκτῆσθαι ταύτην. ἐπὶ δὲ τῷ ξένῳ τούτῳ θεάματι ἡ γυνὴ ἐκπλαγεῖσα, ἐπεὶ καὶ πάντων ἐν ἀπορίᾳ ἦν, αὐτὸς ὁ Μιχαὴλ τὸ σαβάνον αὐτῆς ἔτι διάβροχον ὂν ἀντὶ μεσσαλίου τῷ σκάμνῳ ἐπέθετο (οὐ γὰρ εἶχεν τράπεζαν), τήν τε κλεῖδα ἀφελὼν αὐτῆς ἦν τὰ πάντα ὁ βασιλεύς, τραπεζοποιὸς μάγειρος δαιτυμών. ἐκβαλὼν δὲ ἅπερ εἶχεν τῆς πενιχρᾶς ἐκείνης ἡ κιβωτός, συνειστιᾶτο ταύτῃ καὶ συνεδείπνει, κἀκεῖθεν βάδην αὖθις ἀπῄει πρὸς τὰ ἀνάκτορα. 18. Καὶ τὸ δὴ χαλεπώτερον, ἡ τῶν ὧν εἶχε μεθ' ἑαυτοῦ φατρία, σατύριοί τινες οὗτοι καὶ πρὸς πᾶσαν αἰσχρουργίαν ἀκόλαστοι, οὓς ἐκεῖνος διὰ τιμῆς ἄγων καὶ αἰδοῦς τῶν θείων κατωλιγώρει· ἱερατικὰς στολὰς χρυσοϋφάντους ἐπετίθει καὶ ὠμοφόρια, καὶ ἠνάγκαζεν ἀσχημόνως τε καὶ ἀνάγνως τελεῖν τὰ ἁγνά. καὶ πατριάρχην τὸν ἔξαρχον τούτων ἐκάλει, Γρύλλον καλούμενον, τοὺς δὲ λοιποὺς ιαʹ μητροπολίτας τῶν ἐξαιρέτων θρόνων τε καὶ λαμπρῶν. οἷς εἰ μὴ καὶ αὐτὸς ἐκοινώνει, οὐδὲ βασιλεύειν ἠξίου· καὶ γὰρ πρωτόθρονος ὁ Κολωνείας ὤν, δωδέκατος δὲ αὐτὸς ὁ βα 662 σιλεὺς Μιχαήλ. καὶ τὰς ᾠδὰς ἐξεπλήρουν διὰ κιθαρῶν· καὶ τὰ μὲν μυστικὰ μιμούμενοι λιγυρῶς ἐπήχουν, τὰς δὲ ἐκφωνήσεις ἀνέτῳ φορᾷ καὶ διαπρυσίῳ. σκεύη δὲ διάχρυσα καὶ μαργαριτῶν συγκρίμενα εἶχον, ὄξους τε καὶ σινάπεως πληροῦντες οἷς ἐβούλοντο μεταλαμβάνειν ἐδίδοσαν, τῶν ἀχράντων οὕτω καταπαίζοντες μυστηρίων. οὗτος οὖν ὁ Γρύλλος καὶ ὄνῳ ἐπωχεῖτο λευκῇ, τὰς δημοσίους προόδους τελῶν, καὶ τὸν τοιοῦτον θίασον συνεπόμενον ἔχων ἠγάλλετο. καί ποτε συνέβη μετὰ τῆς ἐκκλησιαστικῆς λιτῆς ἐρχομένῳ τῷ μακαρίτῃ Ἰγνατίῳ συντυχεῖν· καὶ τὸν φελόνην ἀναστείλας μετὰ τῶν αὐτοῦ συμμυστῶν εὐτονώτερον τῶν κρουσμάτων ἦρχε, καὶ τὸν κλῆρον μυρίοις καὶ αἰσχίστοις περιέβαλλε ῥήμασιν. ὑπὸ δὲ τοῦ ὁσίου ἐπιτιμηθεὶς αὐτὸς μὲν οὐδὲν τούτων ἐφύλαξεν, πλὴν τέως τῆς ὁδοῦ ἐξέκλινε. τούτοις ἑαυτὸν γέλωτα ἄσεμνον καὶ ἀνακαγχασμὸν ὁ ἀφρονέστατος προετίθει, οἷς ὑβρίζετο μὲν ἡ ἁγία προσφορά, ὑβρίζετο δὲ τὰ ἅγια λόγια, τοῖς ἀρρήτοις αὐτῶν καὶ ἀκαθάρτοις ἐπιτηδεύμασιν ἐπιλεγόμενα καὶ ἐπιφωνούμενα. 19. Μετ' οὐ πολὺ δὲ τοῦ ἁγιωτάτου Ἰγνατίου τοῦ θρόνου τῆς πατριαρχίας καταβιβασθέντος, ἐπίπροσθεν τῆς βασιλικῆς τραπέζης κατενώπιον τελουμένων Φωτίου καὶ δι' αἰσχίστης μιμήσεως τῶν θείων παιζομένων ὑπὸ τῶν καταφρονητῶν καὶ καταπτύ 663 στων ἀνδρῶν, τοσοῦτον ἐκεῖνος ἀπέσχεν τοῦ ἐπιτιμῆσαι καὶ διελέγξαι καὶ τὸ ἀτοπώτατον καταργῆσαι τοῦ ἐπιτηδεύματος, ὅτι καὶ ἐπεκύρου μᾶλλον ὁ ἀθέμιτος τὸ ἀθέμιτον, ἐπευξάμενος τὸν θεομισῆ Θεόφιλον ἐκεῖνον τὸν καὶ Γρύλλον, ὃν ὁ ἀπαιδευτότατος ἄναξ ἴδιον πατριάρχην ὠνόμαζεν, παίζειν εὔστοχος καὶ ἐν ἱερατικοῖς ἀμφίοις καὶ λογίοις, καὶ κρότους ἀποπέμπειν μεγίστους ἡμιόνων τρόπῳ, καὶ πιεῖν ἐξ αὐτοῦ πάντας, τοῦτό γε μόνον ἄξιος αὐτοῖς ἐπιφωνεῖν, καὶ σαρκίνων μεταλαμβάνειν μετὰ νάπυος καὶ ὄξους· καὶ τῷ ὠμοφορίῳ αὐτοῦ ὁ ἀνίερος τῷ ἀνιέρῳ τὴν ἀνιεραρχίαν ἀνιέρως