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«Take my soul from me, for it is better for me to die than to live.» And David too, whether writing a psalm from his own person or from that of some others who were lamenting, points out this very same thing; «For when the sinner stood up against me,» he says, «I was deafened and humbled and kept silent from good things, and my pain was renewed. My heart grew hot within me, and in my meditation a fire will be kindled,» declaring that fire, and a passion of despondency more vehement than fire. Wherefore, no longer bearing its blows and pains, he says: «I spoke with my tongue...» And what do you speak, tell me? He too asks for death, saying: «Make known to me, O Lord, my end and what is the number of my days, that I may know what I lack,» uttering the things of Elijah, with different words, but with the same thoughts. For what that one said, «I am no better than my fathers,» this one also hinted at, saying: «Make known to me, O Lord, my end, that I may know what I lack.» For what reason was I left behind, he says, and do I lack and continue in the present life, when the others have departed? And so he seeks it, whether he himself, or those in whose person he speaks, that, even if it is not present, he desires to learn the time of its arrival: «Make known to me,» he says, «my end,» so that from this he might reap the greatest pleasure. Thus the dreadful becomes desirable on account of the unbearable pain of despondency and the fire that is kindled in the mind. «For in my meditation,» he says, «a fire will be kindled.» Therefore, paying so great a penalty, expect great rewards, many prizes, ineffable recompenses, the bright and exceedingly flourishing crowns of such great struggles. For not only doing something good, but also suffering something bad has many rewards and great prizes. And to this I will now direct my discourse, which is exceedingly useful for you and for all, and able to anoint for endurance and to arouse to perseverance and not to allow one to be softened toward the sweats of sufferings. 10.6 That despondency, then, is more grievous than all sufferings and is the culmination and chief of evils, our discourse has sufficiently proved; it remains, therefore, to make a comparison of right actions and sufferings, so that you may learn clearly that rewards are laid up not only for right actions but also for sufferings, and exceedingly great rewards, and for sufferings no less than for right actions, but rather in some cases even more for sufferings. And let us bring in, if you please, the great athlete of endurance who shone in both of these, the adamant, the rock, who was from the land of Ausitis, but who illuminated the whole world with the excellence of his own virtue, and let us speak of both his right actions and his sufferings, so that you may know from which he shone more brightly. What then were his right actions? «My house,» he says, «was open to every comer and was a common harbor for travelers.» And for those in need he possessed almost all his things. «For I was,» he says, «an eye to the blind, and a foot to the lame. I was a father to the powerless, and the case which I knew not I searched out, and I broke the jaws of the unjust and snatched the plunder from between their teeth. And the powerless did not fail to get what they needed, nor did anyone go out my door with an empty bosom.» Have you seen the various kinds of philanthropy and the diverse harbors of almsgiving and how through all of them he helped those who were wronged? Have you seen him supporting the poor, setting the widow right, standing by the wronged, being fearsome to the abusive? For he showed his zeal not only to the point of standing by and assisting—this is what most people do—but even to bringing the matter to a conclusion and with much vehemence; «For I broke the jaws of the unjust,» he says, fortifying his own foresight against their contentiousness.
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«Λάβε τὴν ψυχήν μου ἀπ' ἐμοῦ ὅτι καλόν μοι τὸ ἀποθανεῖν ἢ ζῆν με.» Καὶ ὁ ∆αυῒδ δέ, εἴτε ἐξ οἰκείου προσώπου εἴτε ἑτέρων τινῶν ὀδυρομένων ψαλμὸν γράφων, τὸ αὐτὸ δὴ τοῦτο ἐνδείκνυται· «Ἐν γὰρ τῷ συστῆναι τὸν ἁμαρτωλὸν ἐναντίον μου, φησίν, ἐκωφώθην καὶ ἐταπεινώθην καὶ ἐσίγησα ἐξ ἀγαθῶν καὶ τὸ ἄλγημά μου ἀνεκαινίσθη. Ἐθερμάνθη ἡ καρδία μου ἐντός μου καὶ ἐν τῇ μελέτῃ μου ἐκκαυθήσεται πῦρ», ἐκεῖνο τὸ πῦρ καὶ πυρὸς σφοδρότερον τὸ τῆς ἀθυμίας πάθος δηλῶν. ∆ιὸ μηκέτι φέρων τὰς πληγὰς αὐτῆς καὶ τὰς ὀδύνας φησίν· «Ἐλάλησα ἐν γλώσσῃ μου...» Καὶ τί λαλεῖς, εἰπέ μοι; Θάνατον καὶ οὗτος αἰτεῖ λέγων· «Γνώρισόν μοι, Κύριε, τὸ πέρας μου καὶ τὸν ἀριθμὸν τῶν ἡμερῶν μου τίς ἐστιν, ἵνα γνῶ τί ὑστερῶ ἐγώ», ἑτέροις μὲν ῥήμασι, τοῖς δὲ αὐτοῖς νοήμασι τὰ τοῦ Ἠλίου φθεγγόμενος. Ὅπερ γὰρ ἐκεῖνος εἶπεν ὅτι «Οὐ κρείττων ἐγώ εἰμι ὑπὲρ τοὺς πατέρας μου» τοῦτο καὶ οὗτος ᾐνίξατο λέγων· «Γνώρισόν μοι, Κύριε, τὸ πέρας μου, ἵνα γνῶ τί ὑστερῶ ἐγώ.» Τίνος ἕνεκεν ἀπελείφθην, φησίν, ἐγὼ καὶ ὑστερῶ καὶ ἐν τῷ παρόντι διατρίβω βίῳ, τῶν ἄλλων ἀπελθόντων; Καὶ οὕτως αὐτὸν ἐπιζητεῖ, εἴτε αὐτός, εἴτε ἐκεῖνοι ὧν τῷ προσώπῳ κεχρημένος φθέγγεται ὅτι, καὶ μὴ παρόντος, τὸν καιρὸν τῆς παρουσίας ἐπιθυμεῖ μαθεῖν· «Γνώρισόν μοι, φησί, τὸ πέρας μου», ἵνα καὶ ἐντεῦθεν μεγίστην καρπώσηται τὴν ἡδονήν. Οὕτω τὸ φοβερὸν ποθεινὸν γίνεται διὰ τὴν ἀφόρη τον τῆς ἀθυμίας ὀδύνην καὶ τὸ πῦρ τὸ ἐκκαιόμενον ἐν τῇ διανοίᾳ. «Ἐν γὰρ τῇ μελέτῃ μου, φησίν, ἐκκαυθήσεται πῦρ.» Τοσαύτην τοίνυν τίνουσα τιμωρίαν μεγάλας προσδόκα τὰς ἀμοιβάς, πολλὰ τὰ βραβεῖα, ἀφάτους τὰς ἀντιδόσεις, φαιδροὺς καὶ σφόδρα ἀνθοῦντας τῶν τοσούτων ἀγώνων τοὺς στεφάνους. Οὐ γὰρ τὸ ποιῆσαί τι χρηστὸν μόνον, ἀλλὰ καὶ τὸ παθεῖν τι κακὸν πολλὰς ἔχει τὰς ἀμοιβὰς καὶ μεγάλα τὰ ἔπαθλα. Καὶ πρὸς τοῦτο ἤδη βαδιοῦμαι τὸν λόγον σφόδρα καὶ σοὶ καὶ πᾶσι χρηστὸν ὄντα καὶ ἱκανὸν εἰς ὑπομονὴν ἀλεῖψαι καὶ πρὸς καρτερίαν διεγεῖραι καὶ μὴ ἀφιέναι πρὸς τοὺς τῶν παθημάτων καταμαλακίζεσθαι ἱδρῶτας. 10.6 Ὅτι μὲν οὖν ἁπάντων τῶν παθημάτων χαλεπώτερον ἀθυμία καὶ ὁ κολοφὼν καὶ τὸ κεφάλαιον τῶν δεινῶν, τοῦτο ἱκανῶς ἡμῖν ὁ λόγος ἀπέδειξε· λείπεται τοίνυν κατορθωμάτων καὶ παθημάτων ποιήσασθαι σύγκρισιν, ἵνα μάθῃς σαφῶς ὅτι οὐ κατορθώμασι μόνον ἀλλὰ καὶ παθήμασιν ἀμοιβαὶ κεῖνται, καὶ ἀμοιβαὶ σφόδρα μεγάλαι, καὶ παθήμασιν οὐκ ἔλαττον ἢ κατορθώμασιν, μᾶλλον δὲ ἔστιν ὅπου καὶ πλείονα παθήμασιν. Καὶ εἰσαγάγωμεν, εἰ δοκεῖ, τὸν μέγαν τῆς ὑπομονῆς ἀθλητὴν τὸν ἐν ἑκατέροις διαλάμψαντα τούτοις, τὸν ἀδάμαντα, τὴν πέτραν, τὸν ἐν τῇ Αὐσίτιδι μὲν γενόμενον χώρᾳ, πᾶσαν δὲ τὴν οἰκουμένην καταλάμψαντα τῇ τῆς οἰκείας ἀρετῆς ὑπερβολῇ, καὶ εἴπωμεν αὐτοῦ τά τε κατορθώματα καὶ τὰ παθήματα, ἵνα εἰδῇς πόθεν μειζόνως διέλαμψε. Τίνα οὖν αὐτοῦ τὰ κατορθώματα; «Ἡ οἰκία μου, φησί, παντὶ ἐλθόντι ἠνέῳκτο καὶ κοινὸς ἦν τοῖς ὁδοιπόροις λιμήν.» Καὶ τοῖς δεομένοις τὰ αὐτοῦ πάντα σχεδὸν ἐκέκτητο. «Ἐγὼ γὰρ ἤμην, φησίν, ὀφθαλμὸς τυφλῶν, ποῦς δὲ χωλῶν. Ἐγὼ ἤμην πατὴρ ἀδυνάτων, δίκην δὲ ἣν οὐκ ᾔδειν ἐξιχνίασα καὶ συνέτριψα μύλας ἀδίκων καὶ ἐκ μέσου ὀδόντων αὐτῶν ἐξήρπασα ἅρπαγμα. Ἀδύνατοι δὲ ἥν ποτε εἶχον χρείαν οὐκ ἀπέτυχον, οὐδὲ ἐξῆλθέ τις τὴν θύραν μου κόλπῳ κενῷ.» Εἶδες διάφορα φιλανθρωπίας εἴδη καὶ ποικίλους ἐλεημοσύνης λιμένας καὶ διὰ πάντων αὐτὸν βοηθοῦντα τοῖς ἀδικουμένοις; Εἶδες πενίαν ἀνέχοντα, χήραν διορθοῦντα, τοῖς ἀδικοῦσι παριστάμενον, φοβερὸν τοῖς ἐπηρεάσουσιν ὄντα; Οὐ γὰρ δὴ μέχρι τοῦ παραστῆναι καὶ συμμαχῆσαι μόνον τὴν σπουδὴν ἐπεδείκνυτο-τοῦτο δὴ τὸ τῶν πολλῶν-, ἀλλὰ καὶ μέχρι τοῦ πρὸς τέλος τὸ πρᾶγμα ἀγαγεῖν καὶ μετὰ πολλῆς τῆς σφοδρότητος· «Συνέτριψα γὰρ μύλας τῶν ἀδίκων», φησί, τῇ φιλονεικίᾳ τῇ ἐκείνων τὴν ἑαυτοῦ πρόνοιαν ἐπιτειχίζων.