31
holiness and purity; and that even if we should spend a thousand years in this life, we will never be able to comprehend its perfection, but always, each day, as if making a beginning, we ought to struggle in it; and this He Himself again revealed, saying thus: "But I press on, if I may also lay hold of that for which I was also laid hold of."
For this reason, my brothers, pay attention, I beseech you, and hear the words of your least and sinful brother, and come, let us worship and fall down before our good and man-loving God. Let us come before His presence with thanksgiving and let us weep before Him who made us, (88) for He is the Lord our God, and we are His people and the sheep of His pasture, and He will not turn His face away from us. Only let us repent with our whole soul and cast off not only our evil deeds, but also let us blot out the wicked and impure thoughts of our heart according to what is written: "Rend, He says, your hearts and not your garments." What is the benefit, tell me, if we distribute all our possessions to the poor, but do not abstain from evil nor hate sin? And what if in practice we do not commit bodily sin, but mentally we are joined with shameful and impure thoughts and invisibly we fulfill sin and are ruled and controlled by the unrestrained passions of the soul? Let us cast off, I beseech you, along with our possessions and the aforementioned evils, their customary slavery, and let us not stop there, but also with tears of repentance let us diligently wash away their filth.
For just as the king himself, who wears the diadem and the purple of the kingdom, who has treasures of immeasurable gold and silver and sits on a high and lofty throne, if he should willingly take mud and soot from somewhere and with his very hands anointing his whole face, should block all his senses, so that he can neither see nor hear nor smell, then, having repented and seeking deliverance from this evil, does not quickly enter his chamber and wash off that mud and the soot with much water, (89) and thus, having been cleansed again as before, sit on the throne of his kingdom, but instead of this, only scatters all his treasures to the poor and gives them all his movable and immovable property, he will not benefit himself at all from this if he does not wash off the soot and the mud with water, but he will also be a laughing-stock to those who see him, wandering here and there like a bogeyman in the midst of the senate, so also no one else will benefit himself by distributing all his possessions to the poor, and taking up complete poverty and possessionlessness, but not abstaining from evil, nor purifying his soul through repentance and tears.
For every man, who has sinned like me, the condemned one, and blocked the senses of his soul with the mud of pleasures, even if he has distributed all his property to the poor, and all the glory of offices, and the splendor of houses and horses, flocks and herds and slaves, and has left all his own people and friends and relatives and having come into the monastic habit, has become poor and possessionless, nevertheless, as things necessary for his life, he needs the tears of repentance, in order to wash away the mud of his sins, and all the more if, still like me, he carries about the soot and mud of his many evils not only on his face and hands, but also entirely on his whole body. For the distribution of possessions alone is not sufficient for us for the purification of the soul, unless we also weep and mourn (90) from the soul, brothers. For I think that unless with all haste he himself through tears of
31
ἁγιωσύνην καί καθαρότητα· καί ὅτι κἄν χίλια ἔτη ἐν τῷ βίῳ τούτῳ ποιήσωμεν, οὐδέποτε τό ταύτης τέλειον καταλαβεῖν δυνησόμεθα, ἀλλά πάντοτε καθ᾿ ἑκάστην, ὡς ἀρχήν βάλοντες, ὀφείλομεν ἐν αὐτῇ ἀγωνίζεσθαι· καί τοῦτο αὐτός πάλιν ἐδήλωσεν οὕτως εἰπών· "∆ιώκω δέ εἰ καί καταλάβω, ἐφ᾿ ᾧ καί κατελήφθην".
∆ιά τοῦτο, ἀδελφοί μου, προσέχετε, παρακαλῶ, καί ἀκούσατε λόγους ἀδελφοῦ ὑμῶν ἐλαχίστου καί ἁμαρτωλοῦ, καί δεῦτε προσκυνήσωμεν καί προσπέσωμεν τῷ ἀγαθῷ καί φιλανθρώπῳ Θεῷ ἡμῶν. Προφθάσωμεν τό πρόσωπον αὐτοῦ ἐν ἐξομολογήσει καί κλαύσωμεν ἐνώπιον αὐτοῦ τοῦ ποιήσαντος (88) ἡμᾶς, ὅτι αὐτός ἐστι Κύριος ὁ Θεός καί ἡμεῖς λαός αὐτοῦ καί πρόβατα νομῆς αὐτοῦ, καί οὐ μή ἀποστρέψῃ τό πρόσωπον αὐτοῦ ἀφ᾿ ἡμῶν. Μόνον μετανοήσωμεν ὁλοψύχως καί ἀποβαλώμεθα μή μόνον τάς πράξεις ἡμῶν τάς κακάς, ἀλλά καί αὐτούς ἡμῶν τούς πονηρούς καί ἀκαθάρτους λογισμούς τῆς καρδίας κατά τό γεγραμμένον ἐξαφανίσωμεν· "∆ιαρρήξατε, φησί, τάς καρδίας ὑμῶν καί μή τά ἱμάτια ὑμῶν". Τί τό ὄφελος, εἰπέ μοι, ἐάν πάντα μέν τά ὑπάρχοντα ἡμῶν πτωχοῖς διανείμωμεν, οὐ ποιησώμεθα δέ τήν ἀποχήν τοῦ κακοῦ οὐδέ τήν ἁμαρτίαν μισήσωμεν; Τί δέ ἐάν πρακτικῶς μέν σωματικήν ἁμαρτίαν οὐ πράττωμεν, νοητῶς δέ αἰσχροῖς καί ἀκαθάρτοις συνδυάζωμεν λογισμοῖς καί ἀφανῶς τήν ἁμαρτίαν πληρῶμεν καί ὑπό παθῶν ἀκαθέκτων ψυχῆς βασιλευώμεθα καί κρατώμεθα; Ἀποβαλώμεθα, παρακαλῶ, μετά τῶν χρημάτων ἡμῶν καί τῶν εἰρημένων κακῶν τήν συνήθη δουλείαν, καί μή στῶμεν μέχρι τούτου, ἀλλά καί δάκρυσι μετανοίας τόν ῥύπον αὐτῶν σπουδαίως ἀπονιψώμεθα.
Ὥσπερ γάρ αὐτός ὁ βασιλεύς, ὁ τό διάδημα καί τήν πορφύραν τῆς βασιλείας περικείμενος, ὁ θησαυρούς ἔχων ἀμετρήτου χρυσίου καί ἀργυρίου καί ἐπί θρόνου ὑψηλοῦ καί μετεώρου καθήμενος, ἐάν βόρβορον καί ἀσβόλην ἑκουσίως λάβοι ποθέν καί σύν αὐταῖς ταῖς χερσί καί ὅλον αὐτοῦ τό πρόσωπον χρίσας ἐφμράξῃ πάσας αὐτοῦ τάς αἰσθήσεις, ὡς μήτε ὁρᾶν αὐτόν δύνασθαι μήτε ἀκούειν μήτε ὀσφραίνεσθαι, εἶτα μεταμεληθείς ἀπαλλαγήν τοῦ κακοῦ τούτου ζητῶν, οὐκ εἰσέλθῆ ταχέως εἰς τόν κοιτῶνα αὐτοῦ καί ὕδασι πολλοῖς ἀπονίψηται τόν βόρβορον ἐκεῖνον καί τήν ἀσβόλην, (89) καί οὕτω πάλιν ὡς τό πρότερον κεκαθαρμένος ἐπί τόν θρόνον τῆς βασιλείας αὐτοῦ καθεσθῇ, ἀλλ᾿ ἀντί τούτου σκορπίσῃ μόνον πάντας αὐτοῦ τούς θησαυρούς τοῖς πένησι καί πᾶσαν αὐτοῦ κινητήν καί ἀκίνητον περιουσίαν ἀποδῴη αὐτοῖς, οὐδέν ἐκ τούτου ὠφελήσει ἑαυτόν μή ἀπονιψάμενος τήν ἀσβόλην καί τόν βόρβορον ὕδατι, ἀλλά καί γέλως ἔσται τοῖς ὁρῶσιν αὐτόν, ὧδε κἀκεῖσε ὡς μορμολύκιον μέσον τῆς συγκλήτου ἀναστρεφόμενος, οὕτως οὐδέ ἕτερός τις ἑαυτόν ὠφελήσει πάντα μέν τά ὑπάρχοντα αὐτοῦ διανείμας τοῖς πένησι, πᾶσαν δέ φτωχείαν καί ἀκτημοσύνην ἀναλαβόμενος, ἀποχήν δέ μή ποιησάμενος τοῦ κακοῦ, μηδέ διά μετανοίας καί δακρύων ἀποκαθάρας αὐτοῦ τήν ψυχήν.
Πᾶς γάρ ἄνθρωπος, ὁ ἁμαρτήσας ὁμοίως ἐμοί τῷ κατακεκριμένῳ καί βορβόρῳ τῶν ἡδονῶν τάς αἰσθήσεις ἐμφράξας αὐτοῦ τῆς ψυχῆς, εἰ καί πᾶσαν μέν τήν περιουσίαν αὐτοῦ διένειμε τοῖς πτωχοῖς, πᾶσαν δέ δόξαν ἀξιωμάτων περιφάνειάν τε οἴκων καί ἵππων, ποιμνίων καί βουκολίων καί ἀνδραπόδων, αὐτούς τε πάντας τούς ἰδίους καί φίλους καί συγγενεῖς κατέλιπε καί πτωχός καί ἀκτήμων εἰς τό τῶν μοναχῶν σχῆμα ἐλθών ἐγένετο, ἀλλ᾿ οὖν ὡς ἀναγκαίων τῇ ζωῇ αὐτοῦ δέεται τῶν δακρύων τῆς μετανοίας, ἵνα τόν βόρβορον τῶν ἁμαρτημάτων αὐτοῦ ἀπονίψηται, καί μᾶλλον ἐάν ἔτι καθάπερ ἐγώ τήν ἀσβόλην καί τόν βόρβορον τῶν πολλῶν αὐτοῦ κακῶν οὐκ ἐπί τοῦ προσώπου μόνον καί τῶν χειρῶν, ἀλλά καί ὅλως ἐν ὅλῳ τῷ σώματι περιφέρηται. Οὐ γάρ ἀρκεῖ μόνον ἡμῖν ἡ τῶν ὑπαρχόντων διάδοσις εἰς κάθαρσιν τῆς ψυχῆς, ἐάν μή καί κλαύσωμεν καί θρηνήσωμεν (90) ἀπό ψυχῆς, ἀδελφοί. Οἶμαι γάρ ὅτι ἐάν μή πάσῃ σπουδῇ αὐτός ἑαυτόν διά δακρύων τοῦ