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When I invite everyone, I think I am gathering honor. For when they are gathered, I am puffed up more and frequently look around, lest anyone has been left behind who did not come and see me; and if anyone is found to have overlooked me, I bear a grudge and revile and slander him, so that he, hearing it and not bearing my reproaches, might come, greet me, appear submissive to me and as one who needs my prayer and love, and I say to all the rest: So-and-so also comes and receives the prayers and hears the words and my teaching - alas for my folly! How then do I see the nakedness of my misery and perceive my wounds and grieve and weep and seek healing, reclining in a hospice and calling upon physicians, showing my bruises, and baring to them even my hidden passions, so that they may apply dry remedies, plasters, and cauteries, and I endure patiently for the sake of my healing, but rather add wounds every day? But, O my God, pity me who have gone astray and implant your fear in my heart, so that I might flee the world according to your commandments and have hatred for it and be prudently restrained, and do not let me, O Christ, wander in its midst, for you alone I love, though I have not yet loved you, and from you alone I expect to keep the commandments, though I am wholly in the passions, not even having known you. For who of those who have known you needs the glory of the world? (78) For one thing is the will of the corruptible flesh, and another that of the Spirit, and another that of my soul. Yet I am not threefold, but twofold, as a man; my soul is ineffably bound to my flesh, yet each does not seek its own things appropriately, such as to eat and to drink, such as to sleep, which I say are also earthly wills of the flesh. But since again, when separated from the soul, it seeks nothing of the sort, but is dead, senseless, just as it happens to be clay, I think the whole is of the soul, one will of man. He therefore who has united his own will to the Divine Spirit has become godlike, having received Christ in his breast, a Christian from Christ, having Christ formed in himself, certainly the ungraspable and only one, who is truly inaccessible to all created things. But, O undefiled nature, hidden substance, love for mankind unknown to most men, mercy not seen by those who live foolishly, unchangeable substance, indivisible, thrice-holy, simple and formless light, entirely uncompounded,
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ἅπαντας προσκαλούμενος δοκῶ τιμήν συνάγειν. Συναγομένων γάρ αὐτῶν ἐγώ φυσῶμαι πλέον καί συχνῶς περιβλέπομαι, μή πού τις ἀπελείφθη, ὅστις οὐ παραγένετο καί ἐθεάσατό με˙ καί εἴ που εὑρεθείη τις παραβλεψάμενός με, μνησικακῶ καί λοιδορῶ καί διασύρω τοῦτον, ὅπως ἀκούσας καί αὐτός μή φέρων μου τούς ψόγους ἔλθῃ, προσαγορεύσῃ με, φανῇ ὑπόσδονδός μου καί ὡς κἀκεῖνος χρῄζει μου τῆς εὐχῆς καί ἀγάπης, καί λέγω πάντας τούς λοιπούς˙ Ἔρχεται καί ὁ δεῖνα καί τάς εὐχάς κομίζεται καί τούς λόγους ἀκούει καί τήν διδασκαλίαν μου - φεῦ μοι τῆς εὐπηθείας! Πῶς οὖν βλέπω γύμνωσιν τῆς ἀθλιότητός μου καί τῶν πληγῶν αἰσθάνομαι καί λυποῦμαι καί κλαίω καί ἴασιν ἐπιζητῶ ἀνακλιθείς ξενῶνι καί ἰατρούς παρακαλῶ δεικνύς τούς μώλωπάς μου, ἀπογυμνώσας τε αὐτοῖς καί τά κρυπτά μου πάθη, ὡς ἄν ξηρία, ἔμπλαστρα καί καύστρας ἐπιθῶσι, καί ὑπομείνω καρτερῶς διά τήν ἴασίν μου, ἀλλά καί μᾶλλον προστιθῶ τραύματα καθ᾿ ἑκάστην; Ἀλλ᾿, ὦ Θεέ μου, οἴκτειρον ἐμέ πεπλανημένον καί φόβον σου ἐμφύτευσον ἐν τῇ ἐμῇ καρδίᾳ, ἵνα τόν κόσμον φύγοιμι κατά τάς ἐντολάς σου καί μῖσος ἔξω πρός αὐτόν καί συσταλῶ ἐμφρόνως, καί μή ἐάσῃς με, Χριστέ, μέσον τούτου πλανᾶσθαι, ὅτι σέ μόνον ἀγαπῶ μήπω σε ἀγαπήσας, καί σοῦ μόνου προσδοκῶ τάς ἐντολάς φυλάττειν, ὅλως ὤν ἐν τοῖς πάθεσι, μηδέ ἐπεγνωκώς σε. Τίς γάρ τῶν ἐπιγνόντων σε χρῄζει δόξης τοῦ κόσμου; (78) Ἄλλο καί γάρ τό θέλημα σαρκός ῥευστῆς ὑπάρχει, ἕτερον δέ τοῦ Πνεύματος, καί ἄλλο τῆς ψυχῆς μου. Πλήν οὐ τριπλοῦς, ἀλλά διπλοῦς, ὡς ἄνθρωπος, ὑπάρχω˙ ἡ ψυχή μου συνδέδεται ἀρρήτως τῇ σαρκί μου, πλήν οὐ ζητεῖ τά ἑαυτοῦ ἕκαστον καταλλήλως, οἷον φαγεῖν τε καί πιεῖν, οἷον τό καθευδῆσαι, ἅ καί σαρκός θελήματα χοϊκά εἶναι λέγω. Ἐπεί δέ πάλιν χωρισθέν ψυχῆς οὐδέν ζητεῖ τοιοῦτον, ἀλλά νεκρόν, ἀναίσθητον, ὥσπερ πηλός τυγχάνει, τό πᾶν ψυχῆς εἶναι δοκῶ, ἕν θέλημα ἀνθρώπου. Ὁ οὖν τῷ Θείῳ Πνεύματι τό ἴδιον ἑνώσας θεοειδής ἐγένετο Χριστόν λαβών ἐν στέρνοις, Χριστιανός ἀπό Χριστοῦ, Χριστόν μεμορφωμένον ἔχων ἐν ἑαυτῷ πάντως τόν ἄληπτον καί μόνον, τόν ἀληθῶς ἀπρόσιτον τοῖς ποιήμασι πᾶσιν. Ἀλλ᾿, ὦ φύσις ἀμόλυντε, οὐσία κεκρυμμένη, φιλανθρωπία ἄγνωστε τοῖς πλείοσιν ἀνθρώποις, ἔλεος οὐχ ὁρώμενον τοῖς ἀφρόνως βιοῦσιν, οὐσία ἀναλλοίωτε, ἄτμητε, τρισαγία, φῶς ἁπλοῦν καί ἀνείδεον, ἀσύνθετον εἰς ἅπαν,