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But the last two, how I should speak of them, I do not know, which you were pleased to bring about for me, my King, and they deprive my soul and my mind of reason and they stop my actions and all my thoughts, but also with the greatness of your glory they weigh me down and almost persuade me, my Savior, to say nothing, to do nothing, nor to touch these things, and I am at a loss within myself and in my wonder I am grieved. How did I, the wretched one, give myself over to serve and minister in such ineffable matters? In which angels shudder to gaze fearlessly, prophets were afraid when they heard at once the incomprehensibility of the glory and of the economy; apostles and martyrs and a multitude of teachers cry out and shout, plainly proclaiming to all in the world that they themselves are unworthy. But how was I, the profligate, and how was I, the fornicator, and how was I, the lowly one, deemed worthy to become also a leader of brothers, (83) a celebrant of the divine mysteries and a minister of the immaculate Trinity? For where there is bread of flesh and of blood, O Word, there you yourself exist, my God and Word, and these things truly become your body and blood by the coming of the Spirit and the power of the Most High; and daring, we touch God the unapproachable, or rather the one who dwells in unapproachable light, not only to this corruptible and human nature, but also to all the noetic hosts of angels. This, therefore, the ineffable, this the supernatural work and undertaking, which I was appointed to do, persuades me also to see death before my eyes; wherefore, leaving aside pleasure, I was seized with trembling, knowing that it is impossible for me and for all, I think, to minister worthily and to have thus an angelic life in a body, or rather one above angels, as reason has shown and the truth holds, and to become worthily more intimate than they, as one touching with his hands and eating with his mouth him before whom they stand trembling and in fear. But the judgment of the brothers, whom I am appointed to shepherd, what soul could bear, what mind could manage to handle without condemnation the opinion of each one and to contribute unfailingly all that is from himself and to deliver himself from their judgment? This does not seem to me to be possible for men; therefore I am persuaded that I wish to be a disciple rather, serving the will of one, listening to the words of one, and on behalf of this one alone to give an account, than to serve the ways and wills of the many

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Τά δύο δέ τά ἔσχατα ὅπως εἴπω, οὐκ οἶδα, ἅ εἰς ἐμέ εὐδόκησας γενέσθαι, Βασιλεῦ μου, καί τήν ψυχήν μου καί τόν νοῦν λόγου ἀποστεροῦσι καί ἐνεργείας παύσουσι καί φρονήσεις ἁπάσας, ἀλλά καί τῷ μεγέθει σου βαρύνουσι τῆς δόξης καί παύσασθαι παρά μικρόν πείθουσί με, Σωτήρ μου, μηδέν λαλεῖν,μηδέν ποιεῖν, μηδέ ἅπτεσθαι τούτων, καί ἀπορῶ ἐν ἐμαυτῷ καί θαυμάζων λυποῦμια. Πῶς τοῖς τοιούτοις ἐμαυτόν πράγμασιν ἀπορρήτοις ἐξέδωκα διακονεῖν καί λειτουργεῖν, ὁ τάλας; Ἐν οἷς ἄγγελοι φρίττουσιν ἀδεῶς ἀτενίσαι, προφῆται ἐδειλίασαν ἐνωτισθέντες ἅμα δόξης τό ἀκατάληπτον καί τῆς οἰκονομίας˙ ἀπόστολοι καί μάρτυρες καί διδασκάλων πλῆθος βοῶσι καί κραυγάζουσιν ἑαυτούς ἀναξίους διαρρήδην κηρύττοντες ἅπασι τοῖς ἐν κόσμῳ. Ἐγώ δέ πῶς, ὁ ἄσωτος, καί πῶς ἐγώ, ὁ πόρνος, καί πῶς ἐγώ, ὁ ταπεινός, γενέσθαι ἠξιώθην καί ἀδελφῶν ἡγούμενος, τῶν θείων μυστηρίων (83) ἱερουργός καί λειτουργός τῆς ἀχράντου Τριάδος; Ὅπου γάρ ἄρτος σαρκός καί τοῦ αἵματος, Λόγε, ἐκεῖ ὑπάρχεις σύ αὐτός, ὁ Θεός μου καί Λόγος, καί ταῦτα σῶμα γίνεται σόν ἀληθῶς καί αἷμα ἐπελεύσει τοῦ Πνεύματος καί δυνάμει Ὑψίστου˙ καί τολμῶντες ἁπτόμεθα θεοῦ τοῦ ἀπροσίτου, μᾶλλον δέ τοῦ οἰκοῦντος ἐν φωτί ἀπροσίτῳ, οὐ μόνον φύσει τῇ φθαρτῇ ταύτῃ καί ἀνθρωπίνῃ, ἀλλά καί πάσαις νεοραῖς στρατιαῖς τῶν ἀγγέλων. Τοῦτο οὖν τό ἀπόρρητον, τοῦτο τό ὑπέρ φύσιν ἔργον τε καί ἐγχείρημα, ὅπερ ποιεῖν ἐτάχθην, πείθει με καί τόν θάνατον πρό ὀφθαλμῶν μου βλέπειν˙ ὅθεν ἀφείς τό ἥδεσθαι τῷ τρόμῳ συνεσχέθην εἰδώς, ὅτι ἀδύνατον ἐμοί καί πᾶσιν, οἶμαι, τό κατ᾿ ἀξίαν λειτουργεῖν καί βίον οὕτως ἔχειν ἀγγελικόν ἐν σώματι, μᾶλλον δ᾿ ὑπέρ ἀγγέλους, ἵν᾿ ὁ λόγος ἔδειξε καί ἡ ἀλήθεια ἔχει, καί οἰκειότερος αὐτῶν γένηται κατ᾿ ἀξίαν ὡς καί χερσίν ἁπτόμενος καί στόματι ἐσθίων, ὅνπερ ἐκεῖνοι φρίττοντες παρίστανται σύν τρόμῳ. Τό δέ κρῖμα τῶν ἀδελφῶν, οὕς τέταγμαι ποιμαίνειν, ποία ψυχή βαστάσειε, ποῖος νοῦς εὐπορήσῃ ἀκατακρίτως μετελθεῖν ἑνός ἑκάστου γνώμην καί πάντα τά παρ᾿ ἑαυτοῦ ἀνελλιπῶς εἰσφέρειν καί ἐξελέσθαι κρίματος ἑαυτόν τοῦ ἐκείνων; Οὔ μοί δοκεῖ πως δυνατόν ἀνθρώποις εἶναι τοῦτο˙ πείθομαι οὖν βούλομαι μαθητής εἶναι μᾶλλον ἑνός δουλεύων θέλημα, ἑνός ἀκούων λόγους, καί ὑπέρ τούτου τοῦ ἑνός μόνον ὑφέξειν λόγους, ἤ τρόποις καί θελήμασι δουλεύειν τῶν πλειόνων