38

cities, and cliffs, my shelter, through all of which I came, desiring to draw near to the divinity of Christ, How have I walked alone a harsh road, here and there, turning the course of a difficult life, and have not been able to plant so much as one light footstep on the earth, but always toils send me to evil toils? 1345 O wisdom, you teach me whence comes so great a burden to me. How is there toil for the pious, and no toil for the perishing? Is this some penalty for sin, or the coals of life, as of gold being purified in furnaces? Or does the raging and envious one, like a certain Job, call me to a fight? But you, having anointed me, your wrestler, with oil, well beforehand for a great naked contest, so that to me, having contended, you might give a prize and glory? These things You yourself, O Lord, know, O Word. For You indeed guide the whole cosmos, turning it with great and hidden reasons, of which only a very small gleam comes to us, still wrapped in clay and having dull eyes. But I am weary of life, and upon the earth1346 I draw a little breath, driven by many evils, of enemies, and of friends, which is also an exceeding pain. For this reason I groan, and fall at your knees. Give release from life to your dead one. Give respite from toil, and set me upon a lighter life, for which I grieve and have endured countless cares. And carrying this wayfarer, may you bring him near to the angelic choirs of the heavenly gate, where is the glory of the one great God flashing in three lights.

XLIII. To himself, in the form of question and answer. Where are my winged words? into the air. Where is the flower of my youth? It has perished. And my glory? It is gone, vanished. 1347 Where is the strength of my well-knit limbs? Sickness has bent it. Where are my possessions and wealth? God has them. But other things envy gave to the rapacious hands of sinners. And my parents, and the sacred pair of my siblings? They have gone to the grave. Only my fatherland was left to me; but from this too, stirring up a black wave, the envious demon drove me. And now a stranger, alone, I wander in a foreign land, dragging out a painful life and a feeble old age, without a throne, without a city, childless, yet caring for children, living day by day with ever-wandering feet. Where shall I cast this body? What end will meet me? What earth, what hospitable tomb will cover me? Who will place a finger on my fading eyes, 1348 will it be one of the pious, a friend of Christ, or some wicked person? Let the breeze carry these things away. This is the care of a small mind, whether someone will give my body, a breathless burden, to a tomb, or whether it become an unburied prey for wild beasts, a prey for beasts, or for dogs, or for birds, or if you wish, you might scatter it, consumed by fire, into the air with your hands, or cast it unburied down from great cliffs, or let it rot in rivers and in streams of rain. For I shall not be the only one to disappear, nor be ungathered. Would that it were so! For many this is better. But the last day brings all together from the ends of the earth, by divine command, even if there is any ash, and limbs destroyed by disease. But this one thing I lament, and I fear the judgment seat of God, 1349 and the rivers of fire, and the terrible, lightless chasms. Christ, O King, you are to me fatherland, strength, wealth, all things. In You then may I find rest, having exchanged my life and cares.

XLIV. Against those who slander the monks, and against those who live as monks deceitfully.

Lately one of the foolish and effeminate, rich and haughty, insisted that I live in luxury; saying many other things, and that I am rich having a garden, and leisure, and a modest stream. But you are silent about my tears, I said, wretched man, and the bridling 1350 of my stomach, and the wounds on my knees, and my vigils. By which monks mortify their bodies, those who are true monks; for the undisciplined we will cast to the crows. And what troubles do you think a soul suffers, warring with the body, and setting itself against the world? Hear what the monks say, O lovers of the world, you of the fleeting, of the great arrogance; Possess, be rich: marriage, children, all pleasant things are yours, whatever the earth or the sea nourishes.

38

πτόλιες, σκόπελοί τε, ἐμὸν σκέπας, ὧν διὰ πάντων Ἤλυθον, ἰσχανόων Χριστοῦ θεότητι πελάσσαι, Πῶς μοῦνος τρηχεῖαν ἔβην ὁδὸν ἔνθα καὶ ἔνθα, Στρωφῶν ἀργαλέοιο βίου τύπον, οὐδ' ἐδυνάσθην Οὐδ' ὅσον ἕν ποτ' ἐλαφρὸν ἐπὶ χθονὸς ἴχνος ἐρεῖσαι, Ἀλλ' αἰεί με μόγοισι μόγοι πέμπουσι κακοῖσιν; 1345 Ὦ σοφίη, σὺ δίδαξον ὅθεν τόσον ἄχθος ἔμοιγε. Πῶς μόγος εὐσεβέεσσι, καὶ οὐ μόγος ὀλλυμένοισιν; Ἦ ῥά τις ἀμπλακίης ποινὴ τάδε, ἦ ῥα βίοιο Ἄνθρακες, ὡς χρυσοῖο καθαιρομένου χοάνοισιν; Ἦ ῥά μ' ὁ λυσσώδης καὶ βάσκανος, οἷά τιν' Ἰὼβ, Ἐς δῆριν καλέει; Σὺ δ' ἀλείφατι σόν με παλαιστὴν Τρίψας, εὖ τε πάροιθε μέγαν γυμνοῖς πρὸς ἀγῶνα, Ὥς κεν ἀεθλεύσαντι γέρας καὶ κῦδος ὀπάσσῃς; Ταῦτα μὲν αὐτὸς, ἄναξ, οἶδας, Λόγε. Καὶ γὰρ ἅπαντα Κόσμον ἄγεις, μεγάλοισι λόγοις κρυπτοῖσιν ἑλίσσων, Ὧν ὀλίγη τις πάμπαν ἐς ἡμέας ἔρχεται αὐγὴ, Πηλὸν ἔτ' εἰλυμένους, καὶ ὄμματα νωθρὰ φέροντας. Αὐτὰρ ἐγὼ κέκμηκα βίῳ, τυτθὸν δ' ἐπὶ γαίης1346 Ἆσθμα φέρω, πολλῇσιν ἐλαυνόμενος κακότησι, ∆υσμενέων, φιλίων τε, τὸ καὶ περιώσιον ἄλγος. Τοὔνεκεν αἰάζω, πίπτω δ' ὑπὸ γούνασι σεῖο. ∆ὸς λῦσιν βιότοιο νεκρῷ σέο. ∆ὸς καμάτοιο Ἄμπνευσιν, ζωῆς δέ μ' ἐλαφροτέρης ἐπίβησον, Ἧς χάριν ἀσχαλόω, καὶ κήδεα μυρί' ἀνέτλην. Ἀγγελικοῖς δὲ χοροῖσι φέρων πελάσειας ὁδίτην Οὐρανίου πυλεῶνος, ὅθι κλέος ἀστράπτοντος Τρισσοῖς ἐν φαέεσσιν ἑνὸς μεγάλοιο Θεοῖο.

ΜΓʹ. Πρὸς ἑαυτὸν κατὰ πεῦσιν καὶ ἀπόκρισιν. Ποῦ δὲ λόγοι πτερόεντες; ἐς

ἠέρα. Ποῦ νεότητος Ἄνθος ἐμῆς; διόλωλε. Τὸ δὲ κλέος; ᾤχετ' ἄϊστον. 1347 Ποῦ σθένος εὐπαγέων μελέων; κατὰ νοῦσος ἔκαμψε. Ποῦ κτῆσις καὶ πλοῦτος; ἔχει Θεός. Ἄλλα δ' ἀλιτρῶν Ἁρπαλέαις παλάμῃσι πόρε φθόνος. Οἱ δὲ τοκῆες, Ἠδὲ κασιγνήτων ἱερὴ δυάς; ἐς τάφον ἦλθον. Μούνη μοι πάτρη περιλείπετο· ἀλλ' ἄρα καὶ τῆς, Ὄρσας οἶδμα κελαινὸν, ὁ βάσκανος ἤλασε δαίμων. Καὶ νῦν ξεῖνος, ἔρημος ἐπ' ἀλλοτρίης ἀλάλημαι, Ἕλκων ζωήν τε λυπρὴν, καὶ γῆρας ἀφαυρὸν, Ἄθρονος, ἀπτολίεθρος, ἄπαις, τεκέεσσι μεμηλὼς, Ζώων ἦμαρ ἐπ' ἦμαρ ἀειπλανέεσσι πόδεσσι. Ποῖ ῥίψω τόδε σῶμα; τί μοι τέλος ἀντιβολήσει; Τίς γῆ, τίς δὲ τάφος με φιλόξενος ἀμφικαλύψει; Τίς δ' ὄσσοις μινύθουσιν ἐμοῖς ἐπὶ δάκτυλα θήσει, 1348 Ἦ ῥά τις εὐσεβέων, Χριστοῦ φίλος, ἦ ῥα κάκιστος; Ταῦτα μὲν αὔρα φέροι. Τυτθῆς φρενὸς ἥδε μεληδὼν, Εἴ τε τάφῳ δώσει τις ἐμὸν δέμας, ἄπνοον ἄχθος, Εἴ τε καὶ ἀκτερέϊστον ἕλωρ θήρεσσι γένοιτο, Θήρεσιν, ἠὲ κύνεσσιν ἑλώριον, ἢ πετεηνοῖς, Εἰ δ' ἐθέλεις, πυρίκαυστον ἐς ἠέρα χείρεσι πάσσοις, Ἠὲ κατὰ σκοπέλων μεγάλων ῥίψειας ἄτυμβον, Ἢ ποταμοῖσι πύθοιτο, καὶ ὑετίῃσι ῥοῇσιν Οὐ γὰρ ἄϊστος ἐγὼ μόνος ἔσσομαι, οὐδ' ἀσύνακτος. Ὡς ὄφελον! πολλοῖς τόδε λώϊον. Ἀλλ' ἄμα πάντας Ὕστατον ἦμαρ ἄγει περάτων ἄπο, νεύμασι θείοις, Εἴ που καὶ σποδιή τις, ὀλωλότα θ' ἅψεα νούσῳ. Ἓν δὲ τόδ' αἰάζω, καὶ δείδια βῆμα Θεοῖο, 1349 Καὶ ποταμοὺς πυρόεντας, ἀφεγγέα τ' αἰνὰ βέρεθρα Χριστὲ ἄναξ, σὺ δέ μοι πάτρη, σθένος, ὄλβος, ἅπαντα. Σοὶ δ' ἄρ' ἀναψύξαιμι, βίον καὶ κήδε' ἀμείψας.

Μ∆ʹ. Εἰς τοὺς διαβάλλοντας τοὺς μοναχοὺς, καὶ εἰς ἐπιπλάστως μονάζοντας.

Πρώην τις μὲ τρυφᾷν διετείνετο τῶν ἀνοήτων Καὶ διαθρυπτομένων, πλούσιος, ὑψιτένων· Ἄλλα τε πολλὰ λέγων, καὶ πλουτεῖν κῆπον ἔχοντα, Καὶ ἀπραγμοσύνην, καὶ μετρίαν λιβάδα. ∆άκρυα δ' αὖ σιγᾷς, εἶπον, τάλαν, ἠδὲ χαλινὰ 1350 Γαστρὸς, καὶ γονάτων τραύματα, κἀγρυπνίην. Οἷς μοναχοὶ νεκροῦσι τὰ σώματα, οἵ γε ἀληθῶς· Τοὺς γὰρ ἀπαιδεύτους ῥίψομεν ἐς κόρακας. Πράγματα δ' οἷα δοκεῖς ψυχὴν πάσχειν πολεμοῦσαν Σώματι, καὶ κόσμῳ ἀντικαθεζομένην; Οἱ μοναχοὶ τί λέγουσιν, ἀκούσατε, ὦ φιλόκοσμοι, Οἱ τῆς προσκαίρου, τῆς μεγάλης ὀφρύος· Κέκτησθε, πλουτεῖτε γάμος, τέκνα, πάντα τὰ τερπνὰ Ὑμέτερ', εἴτε τι γῆ, εἴτε θάλασσα τρέφει.