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and of the most shameful tongue which stitched together the deceit and spread the nets? And why do I speak of the limbs that worked the murder? For indeed the whole body was punished, having been given over perpetually to groaning and trembling. O strange events! O paradoxical victory! O foreign trophy! The one slain and lying dead was crowned and proclaimed victor; but the one who had conquered and survived not only went away uncrowned, but for this very reason was punished, and was delivered over to unbearable penalties and perpetual torment; and of the one moving and living and speaking, the one struck and dead and voiceless accused; or rather, not even the dead man, but the blood alone, separated from the body, was sufficient for this. So great is the abundance of the virtuous even when they have died; so great is the misery of the wicked even while living. But if such are the prizes in the wrestling-pits, consider how great are the rewards after the contests, at the time of recompense, in the bestowal of those good things which surpass all description. For painful things, of whatever sort they may be, are inflicted by men and imitate the paltriness of those who inflict them; but the gifts and the rewards are given by God; wherefore they are also such as would be expected to be given by that ineffable bounty. Rejoice, therefore, and be glad, wearing your crown, marching in procession, trampling on the goads of the enemy more than others trample on mud. And continually make known to us the news of your health, so that from this we may reap much gladness. For you know that it will be no small comfort for us, even sitting in the wilderness, when we continually learn of your good health.
12.t LETTER XII
12.1 Having ascended from the very gates of death, I send this letter to your decorum; wherefore I was also exceedingly pleased that the servants have now arrived, as we are at last mooring in harbor. For if they had met me while I was still being tossed on the sea and awaiting the harsh waves of sickness, it would not have been easy for me to deceive your reverence by reporting good things instead of difficulties. For the winter, having become more severe than usual, brought on us a more grievous winter of the stomach, and I spent these two months in a state no better than the dead, but even worse. For I was alive only enough to be sensible of the terrors surrounding me on all sides, and everything was night to me, both day and dawn and high noon, and I passed my days nailed to my bed; and contriving countless things, I was not strong enough to shake off the harm from the frost; but also by lighting a fire and enduring the most grievous smoke, and being confined in one room and having countless coverings and not daring even to cross the threshold, I was suffering the utmost, with continuous bouts of vomiting, headache, loss of appetite, and perpetual sleeplessness. So I passed through the seas of the night, so long, while staying awake. But lest I strain your mind by dwelling longer on these difficulties, we are now rid of all these things. For as soon as spring arrived and a small change of the air occurred, all these things were resolved on their own. But nevertheless, even now I need great precision in my diet; for this reason I make the burden on my stomach light, so that it can manage it easily. And it was no small matter that caused us concern to learn that your decorum was at her last breath. But nevertheless, because we love you exceedingly and are anxious and concerned for your affairs, even before receiving the letters from your honor we were freed from this anxiety, as many came from there and reported the news of your health. And now I rejoice exceedingly and am glad, not only because you were delivered from the sickness, but
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καὶ τῆς αἰσχίστης γλώσσης ἣ τὸν δόλον ἔρραψε καὶ τὰ δίκτυα ἥπλωσεν; Καὶ τί λέγω τὰ μέλη τὰ τὸν φόνον ἐργασάμενα; Καὶ γὰρ ὅλον τὸ σῶμα ἐκολάζετο, τῷ στεναγμῷ, τῷ τρόμῳ διηνεκῶς παραδοθέν. Ὢ καινῶν πραγμάτων· ὢ παραδόξου νίκης· ὢ ξένου τροπαίου. Ὁ μὲν σφαγεὶς καὶ νεκρὸς κείμενος ἐστεφανοῦτο καὶ ἀνεκηρύττετο· ὁ δὲ νικήσας καὶ περιγεγονὼς οὐ μόνον ἀστεφάνωτος ἀπῄει, ἀλλὰ δι' αὐτὸ μὲν οὖν τοῦτο ἐκολάζετο, καὶ ἀφορήτοις παρεδίδοτο τιμωρίαις καὶ διηνεκεῖ βασάνῳ· καὶ τοῦ κινουμένου καὶ ζῶντος καὶ φθεγγομένου ὁ πεπληγὼς καὶ τεθνεὼς καὶ ἄφωνος κατηγόρει· μᾶλλον δὲ οὐδὲ ὁ τεθνεώς, ἀλλὰ τὸ αἷμα ψιλὸν καὶ τοῦ σώματος χωρισθὲν ἤρκεσεν εἰς τοῦτο μόνον. Τοσαύτη τῶν ἐναρέτων ἡ περιουσία καὶ τελευτησάντων· τοσαύτη τῶν πονηρῶν ἡ ἀθλιότης καὶ ζώντων. Εἰ δὲ ἐν τοῖς σκάμμασι τοιαῦτα τὰ βραβεῖα, ἐννόησον μετὰ τοὺς ἀγῶνας ἡλίκαι αἱ ἀμοιβαί, ἐν τῷ καιρῷ τῆς ἀντιδόσεως, ἐν τῇ χορηγίᾳ τῶν ἀγαθῶν ἐκείνων τῶν πάντα ὑπερβαινόν των λόγον. Τὰ μὲν γὰρ λυπηρά, οἷα ἂν ᾖ, παρὰ ἀνθρώπων ἐπάγεται καὶ μιμεῖται τῶν ἐπιφερόντων τὴν εὐτέλειαν· τὰ δὲ δῶρα καὶ αἱ ἀμοιβαὶ παρὰ τοῦ Θεοῦ δίδονται· διὸ καὶ τοιαῦτά ἐστιν οἷα εἰκὸς παρὰ τῆς ἀφάτου δωρεᾶς ἐκείνης διδόμενα. Χαῖρε τοίνυν καὶ εὐφραίνου, στεφανηφοροῦσα, πομπεύουσα, τὰ κέντρα τῶν ἐχθρῶν καταπατοῦσα μᾶλλον ἢ πηλὸν ἕτεροι. Καὶ δήλου συνεχῶς ἡμῖν τὰ περὶ τῆς ὑγιείας σου, ἵνα καὶ ἐντεῦθεν πολλὴν καρπωσώμεθα τὴν εὐφροσύνην. Οἶσθα γὰρ ὡς οὐ μικρὰ ἡμῖν ἔσται παραμυθία καὶ ἐν ἐρημίᾳ καθημένοις, ὅταν συνεχῶς μανθάνωμεν περὶ τῆς ῥώσεως τῆς σῆς.
12.t ΕΠΙΣΤΟΛΗ ΙΒʹ
12.1 Ἀπ' αὐτῶν ἀναβὰς τῶν τοῦ θανάτου πυλῶν ταῦτα ἐπιστέλλω πρὸς τὴν σὴν κοσμιότητα· διὸ καὶ σφόδρα ἥσθην ὅτι νῦν ἀπηντήκασιν οἱ παῖδες εἰς λιμένα λοιπὸν ὁρμίζουσιν ἡμῖν. Εἰ γὰρ πελαγίῳ μοι σαλεύοντι ἔτι καὶ τὰ χαλεπὰ τῆς ἀρρωστίας ἐκδεχομένῳ κύματα συνήντησαν, οὐδὲ ἀπατῆσαί μοι ῥᾴδιον ἦν τὴν σὴν εὐλάβειαν χρηστὰ ἀντὶ δυσχερῶν ἀπαγγέλλοντι. Καὶ γὰρ ὁ χειμὼν τοῦ συνήθους γενόμενος σφοδρότερος καλεπώτερον ἡμῖν καὶ τοῦ στομάχου τὸν χειμῶνα ἐπήγαγε καὶ νεκρῶν οὐδὲν ἄμεινον τοὺς δύο διετέλεσα μῆνας τούτους, ἀλλὰ καὶ χαλεπώτερον. Τοσοῦτον γὰρ ἔζων ὅσον ἐπαισθάνεσθαι τῶν πάντοθεν κυκλούντων με δεινῶν, καὶ πάντα μοι νὺξ ἦν καὶ ἡμέρα καὶ ὄρθρος καὶ μεσημβρία μέση καὶ διημέρευον τῇ κλίνῃ προσηλωμένος· καὶ μυρία μηχανώμενος οὐκ ἴσχυον τὴν ἐκ τοῦ κρυμοῦ βλάβην ἀποτινάξασθαι· ἀλλὰ καὶ πῦρ ἀνακαίων καὶ καπνοῦ χαλεπωτάτου ἀνεχόμενος καὶ ἐν ἑνὶ δωματίῳ καθειργμένος καὶ μυρία ἐπιβλήματα ἔχων καὶ μηδὲ τὸν οὐδὸν ὑπερβῆναι τολμῶν τὰ ἔσχατα ἔπασχον, ἐμέτων τε συνεχῶς ἐπιγινομένων, κεφαλαλγίας, ἀνορεξίας, ἀγρυπνίας διηνεκοῦς. Τὰ γοῦν πελάγη τῆς νυκτὸς τὰ οὕτω μακρὰ ἀγρυπνῶν διετέλουν. Ἀλλ' ἵνα μὴ πλέον τοῖς δυσχερέσιν ἐνδιατρίβων κατατείνω σου τὴν διάνοιαν, πάντων ἀπηλλάγμεθα τούτων νῦν. Ὁμοῦ τε γὰρ ἐπέστη τὸ ἔαρ καὶ μικρά τις τοῦ ἀέρος γέγονε μεταβολή, αὐτόματα πάντα ἐλύθη. Ἀλλ' ὅμως καὶ νῦν πολλῆς δέομαι τῆς ἀκριβείας κατὰ τὴν δίαιταν· διὰ δὴ τοῦτο κοῦφον ποιῶ τῷ στομάχῳ τὸ φορτίον ὥστε αὐτὸ δύνασθαι καὶ ῥᾳδίως διατιθέναι. Οὐχ ὡς ἔτυχε δὲ ἡμᾶς κατέστησεν ἐν φροντίδι καὶ τὸ μαθεῖν πρὸς ἐσχάτας ἀναπνοὰς εἶναί σου τὴν κοσμιότητα. Ἀλλ' ὅμως διὰ τὸ στέργειν σφόδρα καὶ μεριμνᾶν καὶ φροντίζειν τὰ σά, καὶ πρὸ τῶν γραμμάτων τῆς τιμιότητός σου ταύτης ἀπηλλάγημεν τῆς μερίμνης, πολλῶν ἐκεῖθεν ἐλθόντων καὶ ἀπαγγειλάντων τὰ περὶ τῆς ὑγιείας τῆς σῆς. Καὶ νῦν χαίρω σφόδρα καὶ εὐφραίνομαι, οὐχ ὅτι τῆς ἀρρωστίας ἀπηλλάγης μόνον, ἀλλὰ