55
another sin for those who unworthily partake of the sacred table and of those ineffable mysteries, and having said that such a one "shall be guilty of the body and blood of the Lord," see how he says that they themselves are also cleansed from this grievous stain, speaking thus: "For this cause many among you are weak and sickly." Then, showing that their case will not stop with this punishment, but that there will be some gain from the matter, namely, to be delivered from the accountings for this sin, he added: "For if we would judge ourselves, we should not be judged. But when we are judged, we are chastened by the Lord, that we should not be condemned with the world." That even those who have achieved great things gain much from this is clear both from Job, who shone more brightly from this, and from Timothy, who, being so good and entrusted with such a ministry and flying about the world with Paul, lived not for two or three days, nor for ten and twenty and a hundred, but for many and continuous days in sickness, his body having been weakened with great severity. And Paul, indicating this, said: "Use a little wine for your stomach's sake and your frequent infirmities." And he who raised the dead did not correct his infirmity, but left him to be in the furnace of sickness, so that a very great wealth of boldness might be gathered for him from this as well. For what he himself enjoyed from the Master, and what he was taught by him, these things he also taught his disciple. For even if he did not fall into sickness, yet no less than sickness, temptations buffet him and inflict much pain on his flesh. "For there was given to me," he says, "a thorn in the flesh, a messenger of Satan, to buffet me," speaking of the blows, the bonds, the chains, the prisons, being led away, being torn, being stretched out, being laid out for scourging by executioners many times. Therefore, not bearing the pains that arose from this in his flesh, he said: "For this I besought the Lord three times"—here saying "three times" for "often"—"that I might be delivered from this thorn." Then, since he did not succeed, having learned the gain of the matter, he was both quiet and pleased with what was happening. You, therefore, even if you remain at home and are nailed to your bed, do not think that you are living an idle life; for you endure things more grievous than those dragged, torn, and stretched by executioners, than those suffering the ultimate penalties, having a perpetual and live-in executioner, the excess of this sickness. Therefore, neither desire death now, nor neglect therapy; for this is not safe either. For this reason, Paul also exhorts Timothy to take great care of himself. Therefore, concerning sickness, it is sufficient to have said these things. 17.4 But if being separated from us causes you despondency, expect a release from this too. And I did not say this now in order to comfort you, but I know that it will certainly be so. For if it were not going to be, I think I would have long since departed from here, at least as far as concerns the temptations brought upon me. For, to pass over all the events in Constantinople, after the departure from there, it is possible to learn how many things I have endured on this long and difficult journey, the greater part of which were sufficient to bring about death, how many after the arrival here, how many after the migration from Cucusus, how many after the sojourn in Arabissus. But we have escaped all these things and are now in good health and great safety, so that even all the Armenians are amazed that in such a weak and spider-like body I bear such intolerable cold, that I am able to breathe, while those accustomed to the winter here suffer no ordinary things from it. But we have remained unharmed to this day, having escaped the hands of robbers who often attacked, and living with a lack of necessities, and not even being able to use a bath; and yet when we were staying there, we were constantly in need of this, but now we have come into such a condition as not even to desire that from here
55
ἑτέραν ἁμαρτίαν τοῖς τῆς ἱερᾶς τραπέζης ἀναξίως ἀπολαύουσι καὶ τῶν ἀπορρήτων μυστηρίων ἐκείνων καὶ εἰπὼν ὅτι ὁ τοιοῦτος «ἔνοχος ἔσται τοῦ σώματος καὶ τοῦ αἵματος τοῦ Κυρίου», ὅρα πῶς φησι καὶ αὐτοὺς καθαίρεσθαι τῆς χαλεπῆς ταύτης κηλῖδος οὕτω λέγων· «∆ιὰ τοῦτο ἐν ὑμῖν πολλοὶ ἀσθενεῖς καὶ ἄρρωστοι.» Εἶτα δεικνὺς ὅτι οὐ μέχρι τῆς τιμωρίας ταύτης στήσεται τὰ ἐκείνων, ἀλλ' ἔσται τι κέρδος ἀπὸ τοῦ πράγματος τὸ τῶν εὐθυνῶν τῶν ἐπὶ τῇ ἁμαρτίᾳ ταύτῃ ἀπαλλαγῆναι ἐπήγαγεν· «Εἰ γὰρ ἑαυτοὺς ἐκρίνομεν, οὐκ ἂν ἐκρινόμεθα. Νῦν δὲ κρινόμενοι, ὑπὸ Κυρίου παιδευόμεθα, ἵνα μὴ σὺν τῷ κόσμῳ κατακριθῶμεν.» Ὅτι δὲ καὶ οἱ τὰ μεγάλα κατωρθωκότες ἐντεῦθεν πολλὰ κερδαίνουσιν, ἀπό τε τοῦ Ἰὼβ δῆλον μειζόνως ἐντεῦθεν λάμψαντος, ἀπό τε τοῦ Τιμοθέου ὃς οὕτω καλὸς ὢν καὶ τοιαύτην διακονίαν ἐγκεχειρισμένος καὶ συμπεριιπτάμενος Παύλῳ τὴν οἰκουμένην, οὐ δύο καὶ τρεῖς ἡμέρας, οὐδὲ δέκα καὶ εἴκοσι καὶ ἑκατόν, ἀλλὰ πολλὰς καὶ συνεχεῖς ἐν ἀρρωστίᾳ ἔζη, τοῦ σώματος αὐτῷ μετὰ πολλῆς τῆς σφοδρότητος ἐξησθενημένου. Καὶ τοῦτο δηλῶν ὁ Παῦλος ἔλεγεν· «Οἴνῳ ὀλίγῳ χρῶ διὰ τὸν στόμαχόν σου καὶ τὰς πυκνάς σου ἀσθενείας.» Καὶ οὐ διώρθωσεν αὐτοῦ τὴν ἀσθένειαν ὁ νεκροὺς ἐγείρων, ἀλλ' ἀφῆκεν εἶναι ἐν τῇ καμίνῳ τῆς νόσου, ὥστε μέγιστον αὐτῷ καὶ ἐντεῦθεν συναχθῆναι παρρησίας πλοῦτον. Ὧν γὰρ αὐτὸς ἀπολέλαυκε παρὰ τοῦ ∆εσπότου, καὶ ἅπερ ἐπαιδεύθη παρ' ἐκείνου, ταῦτα καὶ τὸν μαθητὴν ἐδίδασκεν. Εἰ γὰρ καὶ μὴ ἀρρωστίᾳ περιέπιπτεν, ἀλλ' ἀρρωστίας οὐκ ἔλαττον πειρασμοῖς αὐτὸν κολαφίζουσι καὶ πολλὴν ὀδύνην ἐπιφέρουσι τῇ σαρκί. «Ἐδόθη γάρ μοι, φησί, σκόλοψ τῇ σαρκί, ἄγγελος Σατᾶν, ἵνα με κολαφίζῃ», τὰς πληγὰς λέγων, τὰ δεσμά, τὰς ἁλύσεις, τὰ δεσμωτήρια, τὸ ἄγεσθαι, σπαράττεσθαι, κατατείνεσθαι, προτείνεσθαι μάστιξιν ὑπὸ δημίων πολλάκις. ∆ιὸ καὶ μὴ φέρων τὰς ὀδύνας τὰς ἐντεῦθεν τῇ σαρκὶ προσγινομένας ἔλεγεν· «Ὑπὲρ τούτου τρὶς τὸν Κύριον παρεκάλεσα- τρὶς ἐνταῦθα τὸ πολλάκις λέγων -ὥστε ἐλευθερωθῆναι τοῦ σκόλοπος τούτου.» Εἶτα ἐπειδὴ οὐκ ἐπέτυχε, μαθὼν τοῦ πράγματος τὸ κέρδος καὶ ἡσύχασε καὶ ἥσθη τοῖς γινομένοις. Καὶ σὺ τοίνυν κἂν οἴκοι μένῃς καὶ τῇ κλίνῃ προσηλωμένη ἦς, μὴ νόμιζε ἀργὸν βίον ζῇν· τῶν γὰρ ὑπὸ δημίων ἑλκομένων, σπαραττομένων, τεινομένων, τῶν τὰ ἔσχατα πασχόντων χαλεπώτερα ὑπομένεις δήμιον διηνεκῆ καὶ σύνοικον ἔχουσα, τῆς ἀρρωστίας ταύτης τὴν ὑπερβολήν. Μὴ τοίνυν μήτε τελευτῆς ἐπιθύμει νῦν, μήτε ἀμέλει θεραπείας· οὐδὲ γὰρ τοῦτο ἀσφαλές. ∆ιὰ τοῦτο καὶ Τιμοθέῳ παραινεῖ σφόδρα ἐπιμελεῖσθαι ἑαυτοῦ ὁ Παῦλος. Τῆς μὲν οὖν ἀρρωστίας ἕνεκεν ἀρκεῖ ταῦτα εἰπεῖν. 17.4 Εἰ δὲ τὸ κεχωρίσθαι ἡμῶν ποιεῖ σοι τὴν ἀθυμίαν, προσδόκα καὶ τούτου λύσιν. Καὶ τοῦτο οὐχ ἵνα παρακαλέσω σε, εἶπον νῦν, ἀλλ' οἶδα ὅτι πάντως ἔσται. Εἰ γὰρ μὴ ἔμελλεν ἔσεσθαι, πάλαι ἄν, ὡς ἔγωγε οἶμαι, ἀπεληλύθειν ἐντεῦθεν τό γε ἧκον εἰς τοὺς ἐπενεχθέντας μοι πειρασμούς. Ἵνα γὰρ τὰ ἐν Κωνσταντινουπόλει παρῶ πάντα, μετὰ τὴν ἐκεῖθεν ἔξοδον, ἔξεστι μαθεῖν ὅσα κατὰ τὴν ὁδὸν τὴν μακρὰν ταύτην καὶ χαλεπὴν ὧν τὰ πλείω ἱκανὰ ἦν θάνατον τεκεῖν ὑπομεμένηκα, ὅσα μετὰ τὴν ἐνταῦθα ἄφιξιν, ὅσα μετὰ τὴν μετανάστασιν τὴν ἀπὸ Κουκουσοῦ, ὅσα μετὰ τὴν ἐν Ἀραβισσῷ διατριβήν. Ἀλλὰ ταῦτα πάντα διεφύγομεν καὶ νῦν ἐσμεν ἐν ὑγιείᾳ καὶ ἀσφαλείᾳ πολλῇ, ὡς καὶ Ἀρμενίους πάντας ἐκπλήττεσθαι ὅτι ἐν οὕτως ἀσθενεῖ σώματι καὶ ἀραχνώδει οὕτως ἀφόρητον φέρω κρυμόν, ὅτι ἀναπνεῖν δύναμαι, τῶν ἐθάδων τοῦ χειμῶνος οὐ τὰ τυχόντα ἐντεῦθεν πασχόντων. Ἀλλ' ἡμεῖς ἐμείναμεν ἀβλαβεῖς μέχρι τῆς σήμερον, καὶ λῃστῶν χεῖρας διαφυγόντες πολλάκις ἐπελθόντων καὶ ἀπορίᾳ ἀναγκαίων συζῶντες καὶ μηδὲ βαλανείῳ χρῆσθαι δυνάμενοι· καίτοι ἡνίκα αὐτόθι διετρίβομεν, συνεχῶς τούτου δεόμενοι, νῦν δὲ ἐν τοσαύτῃ ἕξει κατέστημεν ὡς μηδὲ ἐπιθυμεῖν τῆς ἐντεῦθεν