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I am not yet confident in all things; as he says elsewhere, *He that thinks he stands, let him take heed lest he fall*; and again, *I fear lest, having preached to others, I myself should become a castaway*. *Not that I have already obtained, or am already made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me*. -*Not that I have already obtained*. What is, *I have already obtained*? The prize, he says. If he who suffered so much, if he who was persecuted, if he who bore about the dying, was not yet confident about that resurrection, what should we say? What is, *If I may take hold*? What I said before, *If I may attain to the resurrection from the dead*. His resurrection, he says, if I may take hold of it. That is, if I might be able to suffer so much, if I might be able to imitate him, if I might be able to be conformed to him. For instance, Christ suffered many things, was spat upon, was struck, was scourged, and afterwards he died. This is a racecourse; through all these things one must arrive at his resurrection, having borne all the contests. Therefore, either he says this, or that, if I am counted worthy to attain a glorious resurrection, one that has confidence, I may arrive at his resurrection. For if I am able to bear all the contests, I will also be able to have his resurrection, and to rise with glory. For not yet, he says, am I worthy; *But I press on, if I may also take hold*. My life is still a struggle, I am still far from the end, I am still distant from the prizes, I am still running, I am still pressing on. And he did not say, *I run*, but, *I press on*; with good reason. For you know with what intensity one who presses on does so; he sees no one, he thrusts aside with great force all who interrupt him, and he concentrates his mind and eye and 62.268 strength and soul and body, looking to nothing else, but only to the prize. But if Paul, who was pressing on, who suffered so much, still says, *If I may also take hold*; what would we say, who are reclining at ease? Then, showing that the matter is one of obligation, he says, *For which Christ Jesus also took hold of me*. I was among those who were perishing, he says, I was being drowned, I was about to perish; God took hold of me; for he himself was pursuing us with great earnestness as we fled from him. Through this he represents all these things; for by saying, *I was taken hold of*, he showed both the earnestness of the one who wished to take hold, and our great aversion and error, and that we were fleeing him. 4. Wherefore it is worth weeping, that when all things have returned to their former state, and when we are liable for a great debt, no one mourns, no one weeps, no one groans. And do not condemn the saying as irony; for just as before the coming of Christ we fled from God, so we flee from him even now; for it is possible to flee from God, not in place (for he is everywhere), but by deeds. And that it is not possible to flee, hear the prophet saying, *Where shall I go from your spirit, and where shall I flee from your presence?* How then is it possible to flee from God? As it is possible to be far from God, as it is possible to be removed; *For they that remove themselves*, he says, *from you, shall perish*; and again, *Do not your sins separate between me and you?* How then does being removed happen? How does separation happen? By choice and soul; for in place it is not possible; for how could one flee from him who is present everywhere? The sinner, therefore, flees. This is what the Scripture says, *The wicked flees when no one pursues.* We flee vehemently from God, although he is always pursuing us. The Apostle was pursuing, that he might become near him; we are pursuing, that we might become far off; are not these things worthy of lamentation? are not these things worthy of tears? Where are you fleeing, O wretched and miserable one? where are you fleeing from your life and your salvation? If you flee from God, to whom will you flee for refuge? if you flee from the light, where will you look? if you flee from life, from where will you live hereafter? Let us flee the enemy of our salvation. When we sin, we flee from God, we run away, into

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πάντα οὔπω θαῤῥῶ· ὅπερ ἀλλαχοῦ λέγει, Ὁ δοκῶν ἑστάναι, βλεπέτω μὴ πέσῃ· καὶ πάλιν, Φοβοῦμαι μή πως ἄλλοις κηρύξας, αὐτὸς ἀδόκιμος γένωμαι. Οὐχ ὅτι ἤδη ἔλαβον, ἢ ἤδη τετελείωμαι, διώκω δὲ εἰ καὶ καταλάβω, ἐφ' ᾧ καὶ κατελήφθην ὑπὸ Χριστοῦ Ἰησοῦ. -Οὐχ ὅτι ἤδη ἔλαβον. Τί ἐστιν, Ἤδη ἔλαβον; Τὸ βραβεῖόν φησιν. Εἰ δὲ ὁ τοσαῦτα παθὼν, εἰ δὲ ὁ διωκόμενος, εἰ δὲ ὁ τὴν νέκρωσιν ἔχων, οὔπω ἐθάῤῥει περὶ τῆς ἀναστάσεως ἐκείνης, τί ἂν εἴποιμεν ἡμεῖς; Τί ἐστιν, Εἰ καταλάβω; Ὅπερ πρότερον ἔλεγον, Εἰ καταντήσω εἰς τὴν ἐξανάστασιν τὴν ἐκ νεκρῶν. Τὴν αὐτοῦ, φησὶν, ἀνάστασιν εἰ καταλάβω. Τουτέστιν, Ἐὰν δυνηθῶ τοσαῦτα παθεῖν, ἐὰν δυνηθῶ μιμήσασθαι αὐτὸν, ἂν δυνηθῶ σύμμορφος αὐτῷ γενέσθαι. Οἷον, πολλὰ ἔπαθεν ὁ Χριστὸς, ἐνεπτύσθη, ἐῤῥαπίσθη, ἐμαστιγώθη, ὕστερον ἀπέθανε. Τοῦτο στάδιόν ἐστι· διὰ πάντων τούτων δεῖ πρὸς τὴν ἀνάστασιν αὐτοῦ φθάσαι, πάντας τοὺς ἄθλους ἐνεγκόντας. Ἢ τοίνυν τοῦτό φησιν, ἢ ὅτι Ἐὰν καταξιωθῶ τῆς ἀναστάσεως τυχεῖν εὐδοκίμου, παῤῥησίαν ἐχούσης, εἰς τὴν ἐξανάστασιν φθάνω τὴν αὐτοῦ. Ἂν γὰρ δυνηθῶ τοὺς ἀγῶνας πάντας ἐνεγκεῖν, καὶ τὴν ἀνάστασιν αὐτοῦ δυνήσομαι σχεῖν, καὶ μετὰ δόξης ἀναστῆναι. Οὐδέπω γὰρ, φησὶν, ἄξιός εἰμι· ∆ιώκω δὲ, εἰ καὶ καταλάβω. Ἔτι ἐναγώνιός μοι ὁ βίος, ἔτι τοῦ τέλους εἰμὶ πόῤῥω, ἔτι τῶν βραβείων ἀφέστηκα, ἔτι τρέχω, ἔτι διώκω. Καὶ οὐκ εἶπε, Τρέχω, ἀλλὰ, ∆ιώκω· εἰκότως. Ὁ γὰρ διώκων, ἴστε μεθ' ὅσου τόνου διώκει· οὐδένα ὁρᾷ, πάντας μετὰ πολλῆς τῆς ῥύμης τοὺς διακόπτοντας ἀπωθεῖται, καὶ διάνοιαν καὶ ὄμμα καὶ 62.268 ἰσχὺν καὶ ψυχὴν καὶ σῶμα συστρέφει, πρὸς ἕτερον μὲν οὐδὲν ὁρῶν, πρὸς δὲ τὸ βραβεῖον μόνον. Εἰ δὲ ὁ διώκων Παῦλος, ὁ τοσαῦτα παθὼν, ἔτι φησὶν, Εἰ καὶ καταλάβω· τί ἂν εἴποιμεν ἡμεῖς οἱ ἀναπεπτωκότες; Εἶτα δεικνὺς, ὅτι ὀφειλῆς τὸ πρᾶγμά ἐστι, φησὶν, Ἐφ' ᾧ καὶ κατελήφθην ὑπὸ Ἰησοῦ Χριστοῦ. Τῶν ἀπολλυμένων ἤμην, φησὶν, ἐπνιγόμην, ἔμελλον ἀπόλλυσθαι· κατέλαβέ με ὁ Θεός· καὶ γὰρ αὐτὸς ἡμᾶς ἐδίωκε φεύγοντας αὐτὸν μετὰ πολλῆς τῆς σπουδῆς. ∆ιὰ τούτου ταῦτα πάντα παρίστησι· τῷ γὰρ εἰπεῖν, ὅτι Κατελήφθην, ἔδειξε καὶ τοῦ βουλομένου καταλαβεῖν τὴν σπουδὴν, καὶ ἡμῶν τὴν ἀποστροφὴν τὴν πολλὴν καὶ τὴν πλάνην, καὶ ὅτι αὐτὸν ἐφεύγομεν. δʹ. ∆ιὸ καὶ δακρύειν ἄξιον, ὅτι πάντων εἰς τὴν προτέραν κατάστασιν πάλιν ἐλθόντων, καὶ ὅτι πολλῆς ὀφειλῆς ὄντων ἡμῶν ὑπευθύνων, οὐδεὶς πενθεῖ, οὐδεὶς δακρύει, οὐδεὶς στενάζει. Καὶ μὴ καταγνῷς εἰρωνείαν τοῦ λόγου· ὥσπερ γὰρ πρὸ τῆς παρουσίας τοῦ Χριστοῦ τὸν Θεὸν ἐφεύγομεν, οὕτω φεύγομεν αὐτὸν καὶ νῦν· φεύγειν γὰρ ἔστι τὸν Θεὸν, οὐ τόπῳ (πανταχοῦ γάρ ἐστι), ἀλλὰ τοῖς ἔργοις. Καὶ ὅτι οὐκ ἔστι φεύγειν, ἄκουε τοῦ προφήτου λέγοντος, Ποῦ πορευθῶ ἀπὸ τοῦ πνεύματός σου, καὶ ἀπὸ τοῦ προσώπου σου ποῦ φύγω; Πῶς οὖν ἔστι φυγεῖν τὸν Θεόν; Ὡς ἔστι πόῤῥω γενέσθαι τοῦ Θεοῦ, ὡς ἔστι μακρυνθῆναι· Οἱ γὰρ μακρύνοντες ἑαυτοὺς, φησὶν, ἀπὸ σοῦ, ἀπολοῦνται· καὶ πάλιν, Οὐχὶ τὰ ἁμαρτήματα ὑμῶν διιστῶσιν ἀνὰ μέσον ἐμοῦ καὶ ὑμῶν; Πῶς οὖν γίνεται τὸ μακρυνθῆναι; πῶς γίνεται διάστασις; Προαιρέσει καὶ ψυχῇ· τόπῳ γὰρ οὐκ ἔνι· πῶς γὰρ ἄν τις τὸν πανταχοῦ παρόντα φεύγοι; Ὁ τοίνυν ἁμαρτωλὸς φεύγει. Τοῦτό ἐστιν ὅ φησιν ἡ Γραφὴ, Φεύγει ὁ ἀσεβὴς, μηδενὸς διώκοντος. Σφόδρα φεύγομεν τὸν Θεὸν, καίτοι ἀεὶ διώκοντα ἡμᾶς αὐτόν. Ὁ Ἀπόστολος ἐδίωκεν, ἵνα ἐγγὺς αὐτοῦ γένηται· ἡμεῖς διώκομεν, ἵνα πόῤῥω γενώμεθα· ἆρα οὐκ ἄξια ταῦτα θρήνων; ἆρα οὐκ ἄξια δακρύων; Ποῦ φεύγεις, ἄθλιε καὶ ταλαίπωρε; ποῦ φεύγεις τὴν ζωὴν καὶ τὴν σωτηρίαν τὴν σήν; Ἂν τὸν Θεὸν φύγῃς, πρὸς τίνα καταφεύξῃ; ἂν τὸ φῶς φύγῃς, ποῦ διαβλέψεις; ἂν τὴν ζωὴν φύγῃς, πόθεν ζήσῃ λοιπόν; Φύγωμεν τὸν ἐχθρὸν τῆς σωτηρίας τῆς ἡμετέρας. Ὅταν ἁμαρτάνωμεν, φεύγομεν ἀπὸ τοῦ Θεοῦ, δραπετεύομεν, εἰς