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let us cast out, nor receive those who have been cast out by others. For with what kind of face will he look upon the husband of the woman? with what eyes his friends, his servants? For if, after someone has died, a man takes his wife, and then, seeing just his portrait set up, feels something and is displeased; the one who sees the living husband of the woman living with him, what kind of life will he live, how will he enter his home, with what thought, with what eyes will he look upon that man's wife who is his own? But rather, one could rightly call such a woman neither that man's nor his own; for the adulteress is no one's wife; for she both trampled on her covenants with that man, and has not come to you with the proper laws. What great madness would it not be, to bring a thing so full of evils into one's house? For is there a scarcity of women, that you draw so much destruction upon your own head? For the woman who was content with her first husband, has shown that she would not have chosen even him in the first place, if she had known the experience of the matter well; but she who brings a second bridegroom into the bed of the first, has brought forth no small proof of her great love for the world, and her affection for earthly things. And that one, not even while her husband was living, was fluttered by any other; but this one, even if she did not sin with others while he was living, yet she admired many others more than him, and held neither the first nor the second in the rank of her own flesh. For the first has been cast out by the second, and the second by that one, and she could not remember the first well while attending to the other after him, nor will she look upon this one with proper affection, as her mind is shaped towards the one who is gone. For just as we are accustomed to persist in matters most of all when we have experienced good beginnings; but when from the start, and from the very starting line, so to speak, we perceive things harsh and difficult, we quickly draw back, our purpose being extinguished; so also women who endure untimely widowhoods would reasonably abstain from a second marriage. For the one who was associated with the matter for a long time and was well satisfied, as one who will obtain the same things, will take up the same city; but she who has not even experienced harsh beginnings, with what purpose and hope will she come to the experience of harsh things? For if we all admire and approve of women who are continent while their husbands are still living; how must we not be astonished at and praise those who show the same good will toward them even after they have departed? We do not, therefore, forbid a second marriage, but we advise, if anyone is able to be chaste, to remain with the first. For a second marriage has often become the beginning and pretext for fighting and daily wars. For often a man, sitting at table and remembering his first wife, has wept quietly in the presence of his second; and she immediately grew savage, and leaped upon him like a wild beast, demanding satisfaction from him for his affection toward that other one. And if he should wish to praise the departed one, the subject of his praises becomes a pretext for war and battle. And while we make a truce with departed enemies, and after their life we put an end to our enmity toward them, in the case of wives it is entirely the opposite; for the one whom she has not seen, of whom she has not heard, from whom she has suffered nothing terrible, this one she hates and turns away from, and not even death extinguishes the hatred. Who has seen, who has heard of dust being an object of jealousy, and ashes being warred against? But the terrible thing does not stop here, but whether children are born from the second wife or not, there is again war and battle; for if they are not born, she suffers more greatly, and sees the children of the first wife as enemies and as those who have done her the greatest wrongs, receiving through their life a clearer perception of her own childlessness; but if they are born, again the terrible thing is no less. 63.661 For the husband, often being affectionately disposed toward the departed one, clings to these children, both loving them and pitying their orphan state; but she, for her own to be preferred in every way

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ἐκβάλλωμεν, μήτε τὰς ὑπὸ ἑτέρων ἐκβληθείσας δεχώμεθα. Ποίῳ γὰρ ὄψει προσώπῳ τὸν ἄνδρα τῆς γυναικός; ποίοις ὀφθαλμοῖς τοὺς φίλους τοὺς ἐκείνου, τοὺς οἰκέτας; Εἰ γὰρ τελευτήσαντός τινος, τὴν γυναῖκά τις τὴν ἐκείνου λαβὼν, εἶτα τὴν εἰκόνα μόνην ἀνακειμένην ἰδὼν, ἔπαθέ τι καὶ ἐδυσχέρανεν· ὁ ζῶντα τὸν ἄνδρα ὁρῶν τῆς αὐτῷ συνοικούσης, ποῖον βιώσεται βίον, πῶς οἴκαδε εἰσελεύσεται, μετὰ ποίας 63.660 γνώμης, μετὰ ποίων ὀφθαλμῶν ὄψεται τὴν ἐκείνου γυναῖκα τὴν αὐτοῦ; Μᾶλλον δὲ οὔτε ἐκείνου, οὔτε αὐτοῦ δικαίως ἄν τις τὴν τοιαύτην προσείποι· ἡ γὰρ μοιχαλὶς οὐδενός ἐστι γυνή· καὶ γὰρ τὰς πρὸς ἐκεῖνον συνθήκας ἐπάτησε, καὶ πρὸς σὲ μετὰ τῶν προσηκόντων νόμων οὐκ ἦλθε. Πόσης οὐκ ἂν εἴη παρανοίας, πρᾶγμα τοσοῦτον γέμον κακῶν εἰς τὴν οἰκίαν εἰσάγειν; Μὴ γὰρ σπάνις ἐστὶ γυναικῶν, ὅτι τοσοῦτον ὄλεθρον ἕλκεις ἐπὶ τὴν σαυτοῦ κεφαλήν; Ἡ γὰρ τῷ προτέρῳ ἀνδρὶ ἀρκεσθεῖσα γυνὴ, ἔδειξεν ὅτι οὐδ' ἂν τοῦτον εἵλετο τὴν ἀρχὴν, εἰ τοῦ πράγματος ᾔδει τὴν πεῖραν καλῶς· ἡ δὲ δεύτερον ἐπεισαγαγοῦσα νυμφίον τῇ τοῦ προτέρου εὐνῇ, τῆς πολλῆς περὶ τὸν κόσμον φιλίας, καὶ πρὸς τὰ γήϊνα πράγματα συμπαθείας τεκμήριον ἐξήνεγκεν οὐ μικρόν. Κἀκείνη μὲν, οὔτε ζῶντος τοῦ ἀνδρὸς, πρὸς ἕτερόν τινα ἐπτόητο· αὕτη δὲ, εἰ καὶ μὴ ἥμαρτεν εἰς ἑτέρους ζῶντος ἐκείνου, ἀλλ' ἐκείνου μᾶλλον πολλοὺς ἑτέρους ἐθαύμασε, καὶ οὔτε τὸν πρῶτον, οὔτε τὸν δεύτερον ἔσχεν ἐν τάξει τῆς οἰκείας σαρκός. Ὁ μὲν γὰρ πρῶτος ἐκβέβληται παρὰ τοῦ δευτέρου, ὁ δεύτερος δὲ ὑπ' ἐκείνου, καὶ οὔτε τοῦ προτέρου μεμνῆσθαι δύναιτ' ἂν καλῶς τῷ ἑτέρῳ μετ' ἐκεῖνον προσέχουσα, οὔτε τοῦτον μετὰ τῆς προσηκούσης φιλοστοργίας ὄψεται, σχηματιζομένης εἰς τὸν ἀπελθόντα τῆς διανοίας αὐτῆς. Ὥσπερ γὰρ τοῖς πράγμασι τότε μάλιστα ἐπιμένειν εἰώθαμεν, ὅταν προοιμίων πειραθῶμεν καλῶν· ὅταν δὲ ἐξ ἀρχῆς, καὶ ἀπ' αὐτῆς, ὡς ἂν εἴποι τις, τῆς γραμμῆς, χαλεπῶν καὶ δυσκόλων αἰσθώμεθα, ταχέως ἀνακρουόμεθα, τῆς προαιρέσεως σβεννυμένης ἡμῖν· οὕτω δὴ καὶ αἱ τὰς ἀώρους ὑπομένουσαι χηρείας γυναῖκες εἰκότως ἂν τοῦ δευτέρου γάμου ἀπόσχοιντο. Ἡ μὲν γὰρ πολὺν τοῖς πράγμασι συγγινομένη χρόνον καὶ ἐμπλησθεῖσα καλῶς, ὡς τῶν αὐτῶν τευξομένη, τῶν ἴσων ἅψεται πόλιν· ἡ δὲ προοιμίων οὔτε χαλεπῶν πειρασθεῖσα, ποίᾳ προαιρέσει καὶ ἐλπίδι πρὸς τὴν πεῖραν ἥξει τῶν χαλεπῶν; Εἰ γὰρ τὰς ἔτι περιόντων ἀπεχομένας τῶν ἀνδρῶν γυναῖκας θαυμάζομεν ἅπαντες καὶ ἀποδεχόμεθα· τὰς καὶ ἀπελθόντων τὴν αὐτὴν περὶ αὐτοὺς ἐπιδεικνυμένας εὔνοιαν, πῶς οὐκ ἐκπλήττεσθαι δεῖ καὶ ἐπαινεῖν; Οὐ τοίνυν ἐκβάλλομεν δεύτερον γάμον, ἀλλὰ παραινοῦμεν, εἴ τις δύναται σωφρονεῖν, ἐπὶ τῷ προτέρῳ μένειν. Μάχης γὰρ πολλάκις καὶ πολέμων καθημερινῶν ὁ δεύτερος γάμος ἀρχὴ καὶ πρόφασις γέγονε. Πολλάκις γὰρ ἀνὴρ ἐπὶ τῆς τραπέζης καθήμενος, τῆς προτέρας γυναικὸς ἀναμηνσθεὶς, ἐπὶ τῆς δευτέρας ἐδάκρυσεν ἠρέμα· ἡ δὲ εὐθέως ἠγρίανε, καὶ καθάπερ θηρίον ἐπεπήδησε, τῆς φιλοστοργίας αὐτὸν τῆς πρὸς ἐκείνην ἀπαιτοῦσα δίκην· κἂν ἐπαινέσαι τὴν ἀπελθοῦσαν ἐθελήσῃ, γίνεται πολέμου καὶ μάχης πρόφασις ἡ τῶν ἐγκωμίων ὑπόθεσις. Καὶ πρὸς μὲν τοὺς ἐχθροὺς ἀπελθόντας σπένδομεν, καὶ μετὰ τὴν ζωὴν αὐτὴν τὴν πρὸς αὐτοὺς καταλύομεν ἔχθραν· ἐπὶ δὲ τῶν γυναικῶν τοὐναντίον ἅπαν· ἣν γὰρ οὐκ εἶδεν, ἧς οὐκ ἤκουσε, παρ' ἧς οὐδὲν ἔπαθε δεινὸν, ταύτην μισεῖ καὶ ἀποστρέφεται, καὶ οὐδὲ ὁ θάνατος τὸ μῖσος σβέννυσι. Τίς εἶδε, τίς ἤκουσε ζηλοτυπουμένην κόνιν, καὶ πολεμουμένην τέφραν; Ἀλλ' οὐ μέχρι τούτου τὸ δεινὸν, ἀλλὰ κἂν γεννῶνται παῖδες ἐκ τῆς δευτέρας, κἂν μὴ γεννῶνται, πόλεμος πάλιν καὶ μάχη· μὴ γεννωμένων μὲν γὰρ ὀδυνᾶται μειζόνως, καὶ καθάπερ πολεμίους καὶ τὰ μέγιστα ἠδικηκότας τοὺς τῆς προτέρας ὁρᾷ, διὰ τῆς ἐκείνων ζωῆς τῆς οἰκείας ἀπαιδίας σαφεστέραν λαμβάνουσα αἴσθησιν· ἂν δὲ γεννῶνται, πάλιν οὐκ ἔλαττον τὸ δεινόν. Ὁ μὲν γὰρ 63.661 ἀνὴρ πολλάκις φιλοστόργως πρὸς τὴν ἀπελθοῦσαν διακείμενος ἀντέχεται τούτων, φιλῶν τε ὁμοῦ καὶ ἐλεῶν τῆς ὀρφανίας αὐτούς· ἐκείνη δὲ πανταχοῦ τοὺς αὐτῆς προτιμᾶσθαι