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and you instilled a hatred for these things in my soul; even if by my choice I was attached to these things, you made me have rather an inactive desire and undesired actions - a very great wonder in every way and of all things, you separated me by divine providence from the kings, rulers, and rich of the world. Though many, and I myself, often willed these things, you yourself did not allow anyone's will to stand in these matters; I hated with a hatred from the heart, O Master, those who said others should glorify and enrich me in this life, so that not even happenstance ever moved me toward these things, who, maddened, rather struck me violently with clubs; while others reviled me before all with insults, (143) saying I was a worker of all lawlessness, wishing to turn me from the straight path; for I was fleeing their practices, so that I might not be reviled, but they reviled me, so that I might come to their practices, if, perhaps, I also desired the praise of men, who added, saying they would always revile me, until I came to their way of thinking. But to those who say they give the glory of the world, you have enabled me to answer thus, my Savior: "If," I would say, "you held all the glory of the world and a crown of royalty was on your head, and a scarlet sandal was bound to your feet, and of all these things you suddenly made me lord, while you yourself stood as a commoner, wishing to be my slave, I would not have shared at all in your wickedness and your ways of thinking, or come together with you in life." What scroll could contain your benefactions and your many good things, which you have wrought for me? For if ten thousand tongues and hands were given to me, I would not be able to speak or write about all of them; for they are in every way an abyss in their infinite number, they are incomprehensible in the magnitude of their glory, and I am weak in reasoning, my heart is in pain, because I am not able to speak about you, my God. For when I, the wretched one, consider what I have done, how much you have helped me, from what and how many evils you delivered me, Savior, which I committed, but you received me as one who had done many and great good things and was pure from the mother of the holy font, thus you honored me, thus you adorned me with the royal robe, (144) I am completely seized with trembling and am beside myself with joy and become speechless and am utterly faint, because you, God, the creator of the world, were given to me, a man exceedingly defiled and abominable to all men and demons as I had already become

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καί μῖσος ἐνεποίησας πρός ταῦτα τῇ ψυχῇ μου˙ εἰ καί τῇ προαιρέσει μου προσεκείμην ἐν τούτοις, καί ὄρεξίν τε ἄπρακτον καί πράξεις ἀνορέκτους ἐποίεις μᾶλλον ἔχειν με - θαῦμα μέγιστον πάντῃ καί πάντων ἀπεχώρισας οἰκονομίᾳ θείᾳ βασιλέων, ἀρχόντων τε καί πλουσίων τοῦ κόσμου. Πολλῶν πολλάκις καί ἐμοῦ θελήσαντος εἰς ταῦτα αὐτός βουλήν οὐκ εἴασας τινός ἐν τούτοις στῆναι, ἄλλους δοξάζειν λέγοντας καί πλουτεῖν με ἐν βίῳ μῖσος ἐμίσουν, ∆έσποτα, μῖσος ἀπό καρδίας, ὡς μήτε συντυχίαν με κινεῖν ποτε πρός τούτοις, οἵ καί μανέντες βάκλοις με σφοδρῶς ἔτυψαν μᾶλλον˙ ἄλλοι δέ λοιδορίαις με πρός πάντας ἐλοιδόρουν (143) ἐργάτην εἶναι λέγοντες πάσης παρανομίας, θέλοντες διαστρέψαι με ἀπό ὁδοῦ εὐθείας˙ τάς πράξεις γάρ ἐξέφευγον, ἵνα μή λοιδορῶμαι, αὐτοί δέ ἐλοιδόρουν με, ὅπως εἰς πράξεις ἔλθω, εἰ ἄρα καί τόν ἔπαινον τόν τῶν ἀνθρώπων χρῄζω, οἵ προσετίθουν λέγοντες πάντοτε λοιδορεῖν με, ἕως ἄν εἰς τό φρόνημα τό ἐκείνων συνέλθω. Τοῖς δέ τήν δόξαν λέγουσι διδόναι τήν τοῦ κόσμου οὕτως ἀνταποκρίνεσθαι δέδωκάς με, Σωτήρ μου˙ Εἰ πᾶσαν δόξαν, ἔλεγον, τήν τοῦ κόσμου ἐκράτεις καί στέφος σου τῇ κορυφῇ βασιλείας ὑπῆρχε, τοῖς δέ ποσί σου κόκκινον ἦν ὑποδεδεμένον καί τούτων πάντων αἴφνης με κύριον ἀπειργάσω, αὐτός δέ ἔστης παγανός, δοῦλός μου θέλων εἶναι, οὐκ ἄν ταῖς πονηρίαις σου καί τοῖς φρονήμασί σου ὅλως συνεκοινώνησα ἤ συνῆλθον ἐν βίῳ. Ποῖος χάρτης χωρήσειε τάς σάς εὐεργεσίας καί τά καλά σου τά πολλά, ἅ εἰς ἐμέ εἰργάσω; Εἰ γάρ μυρίαι γλῶσσαί μοι δοθήσονται καί χεῖρες, οὐκ ἄν ἰσχύσω ἐξειπεῖν ἤ περί πάντων γράψαι˙ εἰσί γάρ πάντως ἄβυσσος ἐν ἀπείρῳ τῷ πλήθει, εἰσίν ἀκατανόητα τῷ τῆς δόξης μεγέθει, καί ἀσθενῶ τόν λογισμόν, πονῶ μου τήν καρδίαν, ὅτι λαλεῖν οὐ δύναμαι περί σοῦ, ὁ Θεός μου. Ὅταν γάρ, ἅπερ ἔπραξα, ἐνυμηθῶ, ὁ τάλας, ὅσα μοι ἐβοήθησας, ἐξ οἵων με ἐξείλου καί πόσων, Σῶτερ, μέ κακῶν ἅπερ διεπραξάμην, ἀλλ᾿ ὡς πολλά ποιήσαντα ἀγαθά καί μεγάλα καί καθαρόν ἀπό μητρός ἁγίας κολυμβήθρας οὕτως καί προσελάβου με, οὕτως ἐτίμησάς με, οὕτως με κατεκόσμησας στολῇ τῇ βασιλείῳ, (144) ὅλος τρόμῳ συνέχομαι καί ἐξίσταμαι χαίρων καί ἄφωνος καθίσταμαι καί ἐκλύομαι σφόδρα, ὅτι θεός ἐδόθης μοι, ὁ ποιητής τοῦ κόσμου, ἀνθρώπῳ λίαν μυσαρῷ καί βδελυκτῷ τοῖς πᾶσιν ἀνθρώποις τε καί δαίμοσιν ὡς ἤδη γεγονότι