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And I am weak in my reasoning, my heart aches, because I am unable to speak about you, my God. For when I, wretched one, call to mind what I have done, how many things you have helped me with, from what and how many evils you delivered me, Savior, which I committed, but as one who has done many and great good things and is pure from the womb of the holy font, so you also received me, so you honored me, so you adorned me with the royal robe, (144) I am completely seized with trembling and am ecstatic with joy and become speechless and am utterly undone, because you, God, the creator of the world, were given to me, a man exceedingly loathsome and abominable to all men and demons, as one who had already become and surpassed even them in the practice of the most monstrous deeds. Woe to me, the shameful and defiled! How can I say it? You were united to me, O lover of mankind, with immeasurable compassion, you who are great in purity, greater in holiness, incomparable in power and unimaginable in glory, and you came down from above, from an immeasurable height, to the uttermost gates of hades of my sins and the darkness of my poverty and the house that had collapsed from many lawless acts, completely neglected out of the greatest negligence and indeed defiled, you who before raised me up as I lay below and set me on the rock of your divine commandments and having washed me, you cleansed me from the mire of my evils and clothed me in a robe whiter than snow, and you swept the defiled house and entering, you dwelt within, O Trinity, my God, then you made me a throne of your divine godhead and a house of your unapproachable glory and kingdom and a jar bearing the manna of immortality, and a lamp having within an unquenchable and divine light, and truly a box of the goodly pearl and indeed a field in which the treasure of the world is hidden, a spring, from which those who drink never thirst, which indeed gushes forth water tenfold and makes immortal those who drink in faith, (145) a paradise having again the tree of life in its midst and an earth enclosing him who is uncontainable by all, you, whom I once sought with all my heart,

89

καί ἀσθενῶ τόν λογισμόν, πονῶ μου τήν καρδίαν, ὅτι λαλεῖν οὐ δύναμαι περί σοῦ, ὁ Θεός μου. Ὅταν γάρ, ἅπερ ἔπραξα, ἐνυμηθῶ, ὁ τάλας, ὅσα μοι ἐβοήθησας, ἐξ οἵων με ἐξείλου καί πόσων, Σῶτερ, μέ κακῶν ἅπερ διεπραξάμην, ἀλλ᾿ ὡς πολλά ποιήσαντα ἀγαθά καί μεγάλα καί καθαρόν ἀπό μητρός ἁγίας κολυμβήθρας οὕτως καί προσελάβου με, οὕτως ἐτίμησάς με, οὕτως με κατεκόσμησας στολῇ τῇ βασιλείῳ, (144) ὅλος τρόμῳ συνέχομαι καί ἐξίσταμαι χαίρων καί ἄφωνος καθίσταμαι καί ἐκλύομαι σφόδρα, ὅτι θεός ἐδόθης μοι, ὁ ποιητής τοῦ κόσμου, ἀνθρώπῳ λίαν μυσαρῷ καί βδελυκτῷ τοῖς πᾶσιν ἀνθρώποις τε καί δαίμοσιν ὡς ἤδη γεγονότι καί ὑπερβάντι πράξεσιν ἔργων ἀτοπωτάτων κἀκείνους. Οἴμοι τῷ αἰσχρῷ καί ῥυπαρῷ πῶς εἴπω; ἡνώθης μοι, φιλάνθρωπε, ἀμέτρῳ εὐσπλαγχνίᾳ, ὁ καθαρότητι πολύς, ἁγιωσύνῃ μείζων, δυνάμεις τε ἀσύγκριτος καί ἀνείκαστος δόξῃ, καί συγκατῆλθεν ἄνωθεν ἀφ᾿ ὕψους ἀμετρήτου ἕως ἐσχάτου τῶν πυλῶν ᾅδου ἁμαρτιῶν μου καί σκότους τῆς πτωχείας μου καί οἴκου συμπτωθέντος ἀπό πολλῶν ἀνομιῶν, μεγίστης ἀμελείας ἠμελημένου παντελῶς καί γε ῥερυπωμένου, ὅς πρότερον ἀνέστησας ἐμέ κείμενον κάτω καί ἐπί πέτραν ἔστησας τῶν θείων ἐντολῶν σου καί λούσας ἐκαθάρισας βορβόρου τῶν κακῶν μου καί χιτῶνα ἐνέδυσας λευκόν ὑπέρ χιόνα, τόν οἶκόν τε ἐσάρωσας τόν κατεσπιλωμένον καί εἰσελθών ἐνῴκισας, ὦ Τριάς, ὁ Θεός μου, εἶτα θρόνον με ἀπετέλεσας θεότητός σου θείας καί οἶκόν ἀπροσίτου σου δόξης καί βασιλείας καί στάμνον μάννα φέρουσαν τό τῆς ἀθανασίας, καί λύχνον ἔνδον ἔχοντα φῶς ἄσβεστον καί θεῖον, πυξίον τε ὡς ἀληθῶς τοῦ καλοῦ μαργαρίτου καί γάρ ἀγρόν, ἐν ᾧ κέκρυπται ὁ θησαυρός τοῦ κόσμου, πηγήν, ἐξ ἧς οἱ πίνοντες οὐδέποτε διψῶσιν, ἥτις καί βλύζει μάλιστα ὕδωρ δεκαπλασίως καί τούς ἐν πίστει πίνοντας ἐκτελεῖ ἀθανάτους, (145) παράδεισον ξύλον ζωῆς μέσον ἔχοντα πάλιν καί γῆν περικαλύπτουσαν τόν ἀχώρητον πᾶσι, σέ, ὅν ἐζήτησά ποτε ἐξ ὅλης μου καρδίας,