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So that they may know also the multitude of my evils, I would speak thus, not everything by any means, O Word, for they are countless and more than the stars, more than the drops of rain and the sand of the sea, the multitude of surging waves, but those things which the book of conscience bears and the storehouses of memory contain; but the others, you alone know how to number. I have become a murderer, hear all of you, that you may weep with compassion, but I have omitted the manner, declining length of speech. I have become, alas, both an adulterer in my heart and a sodomite in deed and in choice. I have become a fornicator, a magician and a child-corrupter, a perjurer and a covetous man, a thief, and a liar and a shameless man, a plunderer—woe is me—and a lover of money, and reckless, and I have committed every (191) other form of wickedness. Yes, believe it, I speak these things truly and not as a fiction, nor sophistically! Who then, having heard these things, would not be astounded, would not marvel at your long-suffering, O lover of mankind, would not be amazed and say: How did the earth not split apart, refusing to bear, not supporting on its back this wretch, and bring him down alive into Hades? How was a thunderbolt from above not brought down and did not consume this transgressor? And how did heaven not collapse at the same time and the sun was not extinguished and the stars for one who has been so scornful? O, he would say, your forbearance again, Savior, and your goodness and your mercy! For truly these deeds of this all-wretched one are beyond all pardon, which everyone who hears will cry out: Has justice then allowed this man to live? And how, being just, did it ever condescend for this man to be in the land of the living? But if someone should suppose that I have perhaps written falsely, to this one grant forgiveness as you are merciful; for being ignorant of your long-suffering, Savior, and the abyss of your love for mankind, and having heard of my monstrous deeds he justly delivered this verdict. If, he says, justice has left this man unpunished, then there is no judgment. But you especially, because you are about to judge, (192) you are now long-suffering for this reason, my God;
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Ἵν᾿ οὖν εἰδῶσι καί πλῆθος τῶν κακῶν μου, ὧδε λέξοιμι, οὐ πάντα πάντως, Λόγε, ἀναρίθμητα καί γάρ ὑπέρ ἀστέρας, ὑπέρ σταγόνας ὑετοῦ καί θαλάσσης ψάμμον, κυμάτων πλῆθος κυμαινομένων, ἀλλ᾿ ἅπερ βίβλος φέρει τοῦ συνειδότος καί ἀποθῆκαι περιέχουσι μνήμης τά δ᾿ ἄλλα μόνος ἀριθμεῖν αὐτός οἶδας. Γέγονα φονεύς, ἀκούσατε οἱ πάντες, ἵνα κλαύσητε συμπαθῶς, τόν δέ τρόπον εἴασα, λόγου παραιτούμενος μῆκος. Γέγονα, οἴμοι, καί μοιχός τῇ καρδίᾳ καί σοδομίτης ἔργῳ καί προαιρέσει. Γέγονα πόρνος, μάγος καί παιδοφθόρος, ἐπίορκος ὀμότης καί πλεονέκτης, κλέπτης, ψεύστης τε καί ἀναιδής, ἅρπαξ - φεῦ μοι - φιλάργυρός τε, ἰταμός τε καί πάσης (191) ἄλλης κακίας εἶδος διεπραξάμην. Ναί, πιστεύσατε, ἀληθῶς λέγω ταῦτα καί οὐ πλάσματι, οὐδέ σεσοφισμένως! Τίς οὖν ἀκούσας ταῦτα οὐκ ἐκπλαγείη, οὐ θαυμάσειε τήν σήν μακροθυμίαν, ὦ φιλάνθρωπε, οὐ θαμβηθῇ καί λέξει˙ Πῶς οὐ διέστη γῆ φυγοῦσα τοῦ φέρειν, ἐπί τοῦ νώτου μή στέγουσα τόν τάλαν, καί ζῶντα τοῦτον κατήγαγεν εἰς ᾅδην; Σκηπτός ἄνωθεν πως δέ οὐ κατενέχθη καί ἀνάλωσε τόν παραβάτην τοῦτον; Πῶς δέ οὐρανός οὐ συνέπεσεν ἅμα καί συνεσβέσθη ἥλιος καί τά ἄστρα ἐπί τῷ οὕτως καταπεφρονηκότι; Ὤ τῆς σῆς αὖθις ἀνοχῆς, εἴπῃ, Σῶτερ, καί τῆς ἀγαθότητος καί τοῦ ἐλέους! Ὄντως γάρ εἰσιν ὑπέρ συγγνώμην πᾶσαν αἱ πράξεις αὗται τοῦ παναθλίου τούτου, ἅς ὁ ἀκούων πᾶς τις ἀναβοήσει˙ τοῦτον ἡ δίκη ἄρα εἴασε ζῶντα; Καί πῶς δικαία οὖσα κἄν ὅλως τοῦτον εἶναι κατεδέξατο ἐν γῇ τῶν ζώντων; Εἰ δ᾿ ὑπολάβοι ψευδῆ με ἴσως γράψαι, τούτῳ τήν συγχώρησιν δός ὡς οἰκτίρμων˙ ἀγνοῶν γάρ σου τό μακρόθυμον, Σῶτερ, καί τήν ἄβυσσον τῆς σῆς φιλανθρωπίας, καί τῶν ἔργων μου τά ἄτοπα ἀκούσας τήν ψῆφον ἐξήνεγκε δικαίως ταύτην. Εἰ τοῦτον, λέγων, ἀνεύθυνον ἡ δίκη καταλέλοιπε, λοιπόν κρίσις οὐκ ἔστι. Σύ δέ μάλιστα, ὅτι μέλλεις τοῦ κρῖναι, (192) νῦν μακροθυμεῖς διά τοῦτο, Θεέ μου˙