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we do ourselves a favor, receiving forgiveness for our sins against God; but if we bear grudges and try (251) to repay them in many ways, we harm ourselves, causing our sins to be kept unforgiven. We sit in a cell, we flee to the mountains, we dwell in caves and are raised up on pillars? Why? Striving by all means to escape the one who walks about like a lion and roars dreadfully against us, seeking whom he may devour. If then God should grant it—for without His help we will not be able to escape his teeth and his various bonds, wherever we may go—and we are saved, not becoming food for this terrible beast, how could we say that we serve the Lord through such actions? This does not seem reasonable to me, and I think, not to you either.
For how could one who is pursued by someone, and fleeing vigorously, say that he serves the one who received him into his own house and stood before the doors and delivered him from the pursuing enemy, for this very reason? In no way, but rather as one who has been benefited by him and rescued from his enemy, he ought to give thanks to him perpetually. And how, tell me, will the poor who beg, either through bodily weakness or through idleness and slothfulness not wishing to work, be considered to serve those who give them alms and minister to them, and not rather that the poor are freely ministered to and served by the merciful? Thus, therefore, we all also, being poor and needy from past iniquities, would never say that we, being so disposed, serve the God who has mercy on us, since, as has been said, some from past sins, others from bad habit, others from sloth and idleness concerning the commandments of God, others from an evil intention, others from the anticipation of pleasures, others from ignorance (252) and disbelief of the divine Scriptures, others from conceit and from thinking they need nothing more for the salvation of the soul, and simply, we are all poor and naked. And not only this, but also wounded, possessed by various sicknesses and, as in various hostels and homes for the aged, in our very cells and monasteries, being wretchedly reclining or walking about somewhat, we cry out and lament and weep and we call upon the very physician of souls and bodies—that is, as many of us as have become sensible of the pain of our wounds or passions, since there are also some like madmen, not even knowing that they are sick at all or that they are possessed by some passion—so that He may come and heal our wounded hearts and give health to our souls, lying under the bed of sin and death, since we have all sinned, according to the divine Apostle, and we are in need of His mercy and grace.
Therefore, to Him who has mercy on us, being so disposed as has been said, and has compassion on us and heals our souls and teaches us the things for salvation and little by little grants us health from our wounds and sicknesses, shall we dare to say that we serve at all? Certainly not, just as he whose body was crushed by robbers and lay half-dead is not said to have served the one who lifted him onto his own beast and brought him to the inn and applied wine and oil to him, but rather to have been pitied, healed, and restored to his former health through him. Therefore, since we are paralyzed and maimed and wounded and neglectful of our own treatment and striving in every way not to do it, as I said, how shall we dare to say or think that we serve the Lord? In no way; but what? We beseech, (253) as I said before, if we are at all aware of our condition, praying to be healed of our sicknesses. But when this happens and we gradually cast off the sickness from above like a worn-out, torn, and filthy garment, and health as a bright cloak upon the whole body
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ἡμῖν αὐτοῖς χαριζόμεθα, τῶν εἰς Θεόν ἁμαρτηθέντων ἡμῖν λαμβάνοντες ἄφεσιν· εἰ δέ μνησικακοῦμεν καί ἀνταποδιδόναι (251) αὐτοῖς πολυτρόπως πειρώμεθα, ἑαυτούς ἡμᾶς βλάπτομεν, ἀσυγχώρητα ἡμῶν διατηρεῖσθαι ποιοῦντες τά ἁμαρτήματα. Καθεζόμεθα ἐν κελλίῳ, φεύγομεν εἰς τά ὄρη, ἐν σπηλαίοις κατοικοῦμεν καί ἐν στύλοις ὑψούμεθα; ∆ιά τί; Σπεύδοντες πάντως διεκφυγεῖν τόν ὡς λέοντα περιπατοῦντα καί φρικτά ὠρυόμενον καθ᾿ ἡμῶν καί ζητοῦντα τίνα καταπίῃ. Εἰ οὖν δῴη ὁ Θεός ἄνευ γάρ τῆς ἐκείνου βοηθείας ἐκφεύξασθαι οὐ δυνησόμεθα τούς ἐκείνου ὀδόντας καί τά ποικίλα δεσμά, ὅπου ἄν καί ἀπέλθωμεν - καί διασωθῶμεν, μή βρῶμα τῷ δεινῷ τούτῳ θηρίῳ γενόμενοι, πῶς δουλεύειν τῷ Κυρίῳ διά τῶν τοιούτων πράξεων εἴπομεν; Ἐμοί οὐ δοκεῖ τοῦτο εὔλογον, οἶμαι δέ, οὐδέ ὑμῖν.
Πῶς γάρ ὁ καταδιωκόμενος μέν ὑπό τινος, φεύγων δέ αὐτός ἰσχυρῶς, τόν εἰσδεξάμενον αὐτόν ἐν τῇ ἑαυτοῦ οἰκίᾳ καί στάντα πρό τῶν θυρῶν καί τοῦ διώκοντος αὐτόν ἐχθροῦ λυτρωσάμενον δουλεύσαι τούτου γε ἕνεκα εἴποι ἄν; Οὐδαμῶς, ἀλλ᾿ ὡς ὑπ᾿ αὐτοῦ μᾶλλον εὐεργετηθείς καί ῥυσθείς τοῦ ἐχθροῦ αὐτοῦ, ὀφείλει τήν εὐχαριστίαν αὐτῷ ἀποδιδόναι διηνεκῶς. Πῶς δέ, εἴπατέ μοι, οἱ προσαιτοῦντες πένητες, ἤ διά ἀσθένειαν σώματος ἤ διά ἀργίαν καί ὀκνηρίαν ἐργάζεσθαι μή βουλόμενοι, δουλεύειν τοῖς ἐλεημοσύνην διδοῦσι καί διακονοῦσιν αὐτοῖς λογισθήσονται, καί οὐχί μᾶλλον παρά τῶν ἐλεημόνων οἱ πτωχοί δωρεάν φανῶσι διακονεῖσθαι καί ἐκδουλεύεσθαι; Οὕτω τοιγαροῦν καί ἡμεῖς ἅπαντες, φτωχοί καί ἐπιδεεῖς ὑπάρχοντες ἐκ προγεγονότων ἀνομιῶν, τῷ ἡμᾶς ἐλεοῦντι Θεῷ οὕτω διακειμένους ἡμᾶς δουλεύειν οὐδέποτε ἄν εἴποιμεν, ἐπειδή, ὡς εἴρηται, οἱ μέν ἐκ προγεγονότων ἁμαρτημάτων, οἱ δέ ἐκ συνηθείας κακῆς, οἱ δέ ἐξ ὀκνηρίας καί ἀργίας τῶν ἐντολῶν τοῦ Θεοῦ, οἱ δέ ἐκ προαιρέσεως πονηρᾶς, οἱ δέ ἐκ προλήψεως ἡδονῶν, οἱ δέ ἀξ ἀγνοίας (252) καί ἀπιστίας τῶν θείων Γραφῶν, ἄλλοι ἐξ οἰήσεως καί τοῦ δοκεῖν μηδέν πλέον χρῄζειν εἰς σωτηρίαν ψυχῆς, καί ἁπλῶς πάντες ὑπάρχομεν πένητες καί γυμνοί. Οὐ μόνον δέ, ἀλλά καί τραυματίαι, ποικίλαις κατεχόμενοι νόσοις καί ὡς ἐν διαφόροις ξενῶσι καί γηρωκομείοις ἐν αὐτοῖς τοῖς κελλίοις καί μοναστηρίοις ἡμῶν ἐλεεινῶς ἀνακεκλιμένοι ὄντες ἤ περιπατοῦντες ποσῶς, βοῶμεν καί θρηνοῦμεν καί κλαίομεν καί αὐτόν προσκαλούμεθα τόν ἰατρόν ψυχῶν τε καί σωμάτων ὅσοι δηλαδή τῆς ἀλγηδόνος τῶν τραυμάτων ἤ τῶν παθῶν ἐλάβομεν αἴσθησιν, ἐπειδήπερ εἰσί καί ὡς φρενήρεις τινές, μηδέ ὅτι τίποτε ἀσθενοῦσιν εἰδότες ἤ ὅτι κατέχονται ὑπό τινος πάθους , ἵνα ἐλθών ἰάσηται ἡμῶν τάς τετραυμαστισμένας καρδίας καί δῷ τήν ὑγίειαν ταῖς ψυχαῖς ἡμῶν, κειμέναι ὑπό τήν κλίνην τῆς ἁμαρτίας καί τοῦ θανάτου, ἐπειδή ἅπαντες ἡμάρτομεν, κατά τόν θεῖον Ἀπόστολον, καί δεόμεθα τοῦ ἐλέους αὐτοῦ καί τῆς χάριτος.
Τῷ οὖν ἡμᾶς ἐλεοῦντι, οὕτω διακειμένους ὡς λέλεκται, καί ἐφ᾿ ἡμᾶς σπλαγχνιζομένῳ καί τάς ψυχάς ἡμῶν ἰατρεύοντι καί τά πρός σωτηρίαν ἡμᾶς διδάσκοντι καί παρεχομένῳ κατά μικρόν ἡμῖν τήν ὑγίειαν τῶν τραυμάτων καί νοσημάτων ἡμῶν, δουλεύειν ὅλως εἰπεῖν τολμήσομεν; Οὔμενουν, ὡς οὐδέ ὁ ὑπό τῶν λῃστῶν συντριβείς τό σῶμα καί ἡμιθανής κείμενος τῷ ἐπί τοῦ ἰδίου κτήνους αὐτόν ἄραντι καί εἰς τό πανδοχεῖον ἀπαγαγόντι καί οἶνον ἐπιθέντι αὐτῷ καί ἔλαιον δουλεῦσαι λέγεται, ἀλλά μᾶλλον ἐλεηθῆναι ἰαθῆναι καί εἰς τήν προτέραν ὑγίειαν ἐπανελθεῖν δι᾿ αὐτοῦ. Τοιγαροῦν παρειμένοι καί λελωβησμένοι καί ἡμεῖς ὄντες καί τραυματίαι καί ἀμελοῦντες τῶν πρός ἰατρείαν ἡμῶν καί παντί τρόπῳ μή ποιεῖν, ὡς εἶπον, σπουδάζοντες, πῶς τολμήσομεν εἰπεῖν ἤ ἐννοῆσαι ὅτι τῷ Κυρίῳ δουλεύομεν; Οὐδαμῶς· ἀλλά τί; Παρακαλοῦμεν, (253) ὡς ἔφθην εἰπών, εἰ ὅλως ἐν οἵοις ἐσμέν αἰσθανόμεθα, δεόμενοι ἰαθῆναι ἀπό τῶν νόσων ἡμῶν. Ὅτε δέ τοῦτο γένηται καί τήν νόσον ὡς ἱμάτιον πεπαλαιωμένον καί διερρωγός καί ῥερυπωμένον κατ᾿ ὀλίγον ἀποδυσόμεθα ἄνωθεν, καί τήν ὑγίειαν ὡς διπλοΐδα φωτεινήν ὅλῳ τῷ σώματι