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lacking a little, and I was eager to be outside of the whole world and to seek in solitude the one who had appeared to me - for for this reason I am convinced, brother, that He was pleased to appear to me at all, so that He might draw me, the unworthy one, to Himself and separate me from the whole world. But since I was not strong enough to do this quickly, little by little forgetting all the things mentioned before, I came down into complete darkness, so that I did not remember anything small or great, not even a bare thought, of what I have said before. Indeed, I fell into more evils beyond those that had happened to me before, and was in such a state as if I had never thought of or heard the holy words of Christ. But also that holy man, who had mercy on me then and had given me the small commandment and sent the aforementioned book, I looked upon as one of the ordinary men and did not receive even a bare thought concerning the things that had been seen by me through him. These things, he says, I tell you, so that you may learn precisely into what a pit of destruction I, the wretched one, was brought down by carelessness, and that you may marvel and be astounded at God's unspeakable goodness shown to me even after these things.

(300) For, I know not how to say it, in some unknown way the love and faith for the holy elder remained in my wretched heart, on account of which, I think, after the passage of so many years, God who loves mankind, having mercy on me through his prayers, again snatched me away through him from my great wandering and from the abyss of evils, and saved me. For I, the unworthy one, did not completely stay away from him, but I would confess the things that were happening, and I would go quite often to his cell when I was in the city, even if I, the senseless one, did not keep his commandments. But now, as you see, the merciful Lord, overlooking the great multitude of my sins, has arranged for me to become a monk under this holy elder and has deemed me, who am truly unworthy, worthy to be with him continually. Therefore, by much labor and more tears and precise sojourning and perfect obedience and complete cutting off of my own will and many other very harsh disciplines and practices, as I was proceeding on an unrestrained and unyielding course, I have been deemed worthy to see again a small and little, somewhat faint ray of that most sweet and divine light, but such a vision as I saw then, I have not yet until now been deemed worthy to behold".

So he spoke these things and many more besides to me with tears. And I, the wretched one, having listened to his holy words and having considered him to be entirely full of divine grace and a true wise man, even if he did not possess the discourse of external wisdom, and not only that, but also possessing precise information of the matters themselves from practical knowledge, I asked him to tell me how faith is able to work such wonders, and to set these things out for me in writing in the manner of a teaching. And he began to speak and did not hesitate to write what was said, (301) which things, so that we do not prolong the discourse, we have arranged elsewhere for a table of gladness, for those who embark with faith on what has been written.

For this reason I beseech you, brothers in Christ, let us also run with toil the race of the commandments of Christ, and our faces will by no means be put to shame. But just as He opens the gates of His kingdom to everyone who knocks persistently and gives to the one who asks a right and all-holy Spirit, and it is not possible for one who seeks with his whole soul not to find and to be rich with the wealth of His gifts, so also you will delight in His ineffable good things, which He has prepared for those who love Him, now indeed in part and with the greater wisdom, but in the age to come completely with all the saints from the beginning of time in Christ Jesus our Lord, to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen.

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μικρόν ὑστερούμενον, καί ἐγλιχόμην ἔξω τοῦ κόσμου γενέσθαι παντός καί κατά μόνας ἐκζητεῖν τόν ὀφθέντα μοι - τούτου γάρ χάριν πέπεισμαι, ἀδελφέ, ὅτι ὅλως φανῆναί μοι εὐδόκησεν, ἵνα πρός ἑαυτόν με τόν ἀνάξιον ἐφελκύσηται καί παντός τοῦ κόσμου ἀποχωρίσῃ με . Ἐπεί δέ τοῦτο ποιῆσαι συντόμως οὐκ ἴσχυσα, κατά μικρόν μικρόν πάντων τῶν προλεχθέντων ἐπιλαθόμενος, εἰς παντελῆ κατήντησα σκότωσιν, ὥστε μή μεμνῆσθαί μέ τινος μικροῦ ἤ μεγάλου μέχρι ψιλῆς ἐννοίας ποτέ, ἐξ ὧνπερ προείρηκα. Εἰς πλείονα δέ μᾶλλον κακά ὑπέρ τά συμβάντα μοι πρώην περιέπεσον καί οὕτω διεκείμην, ὡς μηδέ ἐννοήσας ποτέ ἤ ἀκούσας τά ἅγια ῥήματα τοῦ Χριστοῦ. Ἀλλά καί τόν ἅγιον ἐκεῖνον, τόν τότε με ἐλεήσαντα καί τήν μικράν μοι ἐντολήν δεδωκότα καί τήν ῥηθεῖσαν βίβλον ἐξαποστείλαντα, ὡς ἕνα τῶν τυχόντων ἀνθρώπων ἔβλεπον καί οὐδέ ψιλήν ἔννοιαν περί τῶν ὁραθέντων μοι δι᾿ αὐτόν ἐλάμβανον. Ταῦτα δέ, φησί, λέγω σοι, ἵνα μάθῃς ἀκριβῶς εἰς οἷον ἀπωλείας βόθρον ἐκ ῥαθυμίας κατηνέχθην ἐγώ ὁ ἄθλιος καί τοῦ Θεοῦ θαυμάσῃς καί ἐκπλαγῇς τήν καί μετά ταῦτα εἰς ἐμέ γενομένην ἀγαθότητα ἄφατον.

(300) Καί γάρ, οὐκ οἶδ᾿ ὅπως εἴπω, ἀγνώστως οὕτως ἐν τῇ ταλαιπώρῳ καρδίᾳ μου ἡ πρός τόν ἅγιον γέροντα ἀγάπη καί πίστις διέμενε, δι᾿ ἥν, ὡς οἶμαι, μετά τήν τοσούτων χρόνων παρέλευσιν ὁ Θεός ὁ φιλάνθρωπος ταῖς ἐκείνου εὐχαῖς ἐλεήσας με, δι᾿ αὐτοῦ με πάλιν ἐκ τῆς πολλῆς πλάνης καί τοῦ βυθοῦ τῶν κακῶν ἐξαρπάσας ἐρρύσατο. Οὐ γάρ ἀπέστην τελείως ἐξ αὐτοῦ ὁ ἀνάξιος, ἀλλά καί τά γινόμενα ἐξηγόρευον καί εἰς τό κελλίον αὐτοῦ, ὅτε ἐν τῇ πόλει ἐτύγχανον, ἀπηρχόμην συχνότερον, εἰ καί τάς ἐντολάς αὐτοῦ ὁ ἀσυνείδητος οὐκ ἐφύλαττον. Νυνί δέ, καθάπερ ὁρᾷς, τά πολλά τῶν ἁμαρτημάτων μου πλήθη παριδών ὁ εὔσπλαχνος Κύριος καί μοναχόν με γενέσθαι παρ᾿ αὐτοῦ τοῦ ἁγίου γέροντος ᾠκονόμησε καί μετ᾿ αὐτοῦ συνεῖναί με διηνεκῶς, τόν ἐπ᾿ ἀληθείας ἀνάξιον, κατηξίωσε. Κόπῳ τοίνυν πολλῷ καί πλείοσι δάκρυσι καί ἀκριβεῖ ξενιτεία καί τελείᾳ ὑπακοῇ καί ἐκκοπῇ παντελεῖ τοῦ οἰκείου θελήματος καί πολλοῖς ἄλλοις σκηροτάτοις ἐπιτηδεύμασί τε καί πράξεσιν, ἀκατασχέτῳ καί ἀνενδότῳ δρόμῳ πορευομένυ μου, μικράν μέν καί ὀλίγην ἀμυδρῶς πως ἀκτῖνα τοῦ γλυκυτάτου καί θείου ἐκείνου φωτός ἰδεῖν καί αὖθις ἠξίωμαι, τοιαύτην δέ θεωρίαν, οἶα τότε ἑώρακα, οὐδέπω μέχρι τοῦ νῦν ἠξιώθην θεάσασθαι".

Ταῦτα οὖν δακρύων ἐλάλει μοι καί τούτων ἕτερα πλείονα. Ἐγώ δέ ὁ ταλαίπωρος τῶν ἁγίων ἐκείνου ῥημάτων ἐπακροασάμενος καί ὅλον ὄντα τῆς θείας ἔμπλεων χάριτος στοχασάμενος καί ἀληθῆ σοφόν, εἰ καί μή λόγον εἶχε σοφίας τῆς ἔξωθεν, οὐ μόνον δέ, ἀλλά καί τῶν πραγμάτων αὐτῶν ἀκριβῆ κεκτημένον τήν εἴδησιν ἐκ πρακτικῆς γνώσεως, εἰπεῖν μοι αὐτόν παρεκάλεσα πῶς τοιαῦτα ἡ πίστις ἐνεργεῖν θαυμάσια πέφυκε, καί διδασκαλίας τρόπῳ ἐγγράφως ταῦτα ἐκθέσασθαί μοι. Ὁ δέ καί λέγειν ἀπήρξατο καί τά λεγόμενα γράφειν οὐκ ὤκνησεν, (301) ἅ καί, ἵνα μή τόν λόγον μηκύνωμεν, ἐν ἄλλοις ἀνεταξάμεθα εἰς τράπεζαν εὐφροσύνης, τοῖς μετά πίστεως τῶν γεγραμμένων ἐπιβατεύουσι.

∆ιά τοῦτο παρακαλῶ ὑμᾶς, ἐν Χριστῷ ἀδελφοί, δράμωμεν ἐμπόνως καί ἡμεῖς τόν δρόμον τῶν ἐντολῶν τοῦ Χριστοῦ, καί τά πρόσωπα ἡμῶν οὐ μή καταισχυνθῇ. Ἀλλ᾿ ὥσπερ παντί τῷ κρούοντι ἐπιμόνως ἀνοίγει τάς πύλας τῆς βασιλείας αὐτοῦ καί δίδωσι τῷ αἰτοῦντι Πνεῦμα εὐθές καί πανάγιον, καί οὐκ ἔστι τόν ὁλοψύχως ζητοῦντα μή εὑρεῖν καί πλουτῆσαι τόν πλοῦτον τῶν χαρισμάτων αὐτοῦ, οὕτω καί ὑμεῖς ἐντρυφήσετε τῶν ἀπορρήτων αὐτοῦ ἀγαθῶν, ὧν ἡτοίμασε τοῖς ἀγαπῶσιν αὐτόν, νῦν μέν ἐκ μέρους καί μετά σοφίας τῆς κρείττονος, ἐν δέ τῷ αἰῶνι τῷ μέλλοντι ὁλοκλήρως μετά πάντων τῶν ἀπ᾿ αἰῶνος ἁγίων ἐν Χριστῷ Ἰησοῦ τῷ Κυρίῳ ἡμῶν, ᾧ ἡ δόξα εἰς τούς αἰῶνας τῶν αἰώνων. Ἀμήν.