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I reckon of a teacher. Then, however, for the eye of the soul to be cleansed, so that, with all the darkness from ignorance removed like some rheum, it is able to gaze upon the beauty of the glory of God, I judge to be no small work nor to bring benefit for a short time. And I know precisely that your Eloquence perceives these things and desires that there be some help for this; and, if God ever grants me to come to the same place as your Decorum, I shall certainly learn more about the things I ought to care for. For now, because of much ignorance, I am not even able to know how many things I lack, except that I have in no way regretted my first impulse, nor does my soul shrink from the goal of the life according to God, for which you were rightly anxious on my behalf, acting in a way befitting yourself, lest turning back I should become a pillar of salt, which a certain woman suffered, as I hear. But still the external authorities also restrain me, as if searching for me as some deserter of the magistrates. But my own heart holds me back most of all, testifying to itself those things which I have said. 150.2 But since you mentioned agreements and promised to accuse, you made me laugh in this dejection of mine, because you are still a rhetorician and do not desist from your skill. For I think, unless as an ignorant person I completely miss the truth, that there is one road that leads to the Lord, and that all who travel to him journey together with one another, and proceed according to one rule of life. So where can I go to be separated from you, and not live with you and serve with you the God to whom we have both fled for refuge? For our bodies will be separated by places, but the eye of God certainly watches over us both in common, if indeed my life is worthy to be observed by the eyes of God; for I have read somewhere in the Psalms that "The eyes of the Lord are on the righteous." For I pray to be with you in body as well, and with everyone who has a similar choice to yours, and every night and day to bend my knees with you to our Father who is in heaven, and with anyone else who calls upon God worthily. For I know that the fellowship in prayers brings much profit. But if, as often as I happen to be groaning cast aside in a different little corner, falsehood should by all means follow me, I cannot contend with the argument, but I already condemn myself as a liar, if I uttered any such thing according to my former indifference, things which make me liable to the judgment of falsehood. 150.3 And having come near Caesarea so as to learn the situation, and not enduring to enter the city itself, I took refuge in the nearby poorhouse, so that I might learn there about the things I wanted. Then, when the most God-beloved bishop visited as was his custom, I reported about the things your Eloquence commanded us. And what he answered, it is not possible for us to retain in memory, and it also exceeds the measure of a letter. But in summary, concerning the renunciation of property, he said this was the measure: that each one limit his possession for himself to his last tunic. And he provided us with proofs from the Gospel: one, that John the Baptist said, "He who has two tunics, let him share with him who has none," and another, that the Lord forbade the disciples to have two tunics. And to these he added this: "If you wish to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor." And he said that the parable of the pearl also bears on this, that the merchant who found the pearl of great price went and sold all his possessions and bought that one. And he added to these that one must not even entrust to oneself the distribution of the money, but to the one entrusted with managing the affairs of the poor. And he confirmed this from the Acts, that selling their possessions, they brought them and laid them at the feet of the Apostles, and from them it was distributed to each according to whatever need one had. For he said that the discernment of the truly
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λογίζομαι διδασκάλου. Ἔπειτα μέντοι καὶ τὸν ὀφθαλμὸν τῆς ψυχῆς ἀποκαθαρθῆναι, ὥστε, πᾶσαν τὴν ἀπὸ τῆς ἀγνοίας ἐπισκότησιν οἵαν τινὰ λήμην ἀφαιρε θέντα, δύνασθαι ἐνατενίζειν τῷ κάλλει τῆς δόξης τοῦ Θεοῦ, οὐ μικροῦ ἔργου κρίνω οὐδ' ἐπ' ὀλίγον τὴν ὠφέλειαν φέρειν. Ἃ καὶ τὴν σὴν λογιότητα συνορᾶν καὶ ἐπιθυμεῖν ὑπάρξαι τινὰ εἰς ταύτην τὴν βοήθειαν ἀκριβῶς ἐπίσταμαι· καί, ἐάν ποτε δῷ ὁ Θεὸς εἰς ταὐτὸν ἀφικέσθαι τῇ κοσμιό τητί σου, δηλονότι πλείονα μαθήσομαι ὑπὲρ ὧν φροντίζειν με χρή. Νῦν γὰρ ὑπὸ πολλῆς ἀμαθίας οὐδὲ ὅσων ἐνδεής εἰμι γνωρίζειν δύναμαι, πλήν γε ὅτι οὐδὲν μετεμέλησέ μοι τῆς πρώτης ὁρμῆς οὐδὲ ὀκλάζει μου ἡ ψυχὴ πρὸς τὸν σκοπὸν τοῦ κατὰ Θεὸν βίου, ὅπερ ἠγωνίασας ἐπ' ἐμοὶ καλῶς καὶ προσηκόντως ἑαυτῷ ποιῶν, μήποτε στραφεὶς εἰς τὰ ὀπίσω στήλη γένωμαι ἁλός, ὅπερ γυνή τις ἔπαθεν, ὥσπερ ἀκούω. Ἀλλ' ἔτι μέν με καὶ αἱ ἔξωθεν ἀρχαὶ συσ τέλλουσιν, ὥσπερ λιποτάκτην τινὰ τῶν ἀρχόντων ἀναζη τούντων. Ἐπέχει δέ με μάλιστα ἡ ἐμοῦ αὐτοῦ καρδία, ἐκεῖνα μαρτυροῦσα ἑαυτῇ ἅπερ εἴρηκα. 150.2 Ἐπειδὴ δὲ συνθηκῶν ἐμνήσθης καὶ κατηγορεῖν ἐπηγγείλω, γελάσαι με ἐποίησας ἐν ταύτῃ τῇ κατηφείᾳ μου, ὅτι ἔτι ῥήτωρ εἶ καὶ τῆς δεινότητος οὐκ ἀφίστασαι. Ἐγὼ γὰρ νομίζω, εἰ μὴ πάντη ὡς ἀμαθὴς διαμαρτάνω τῆς ἀληθείας, μίαν εἶναι ὁδὸν τὴν πρὸς τὸν Κύριον ἄγουσαν, καὶ πάντας τοὺς πρὸς αὐτὸν πορευομένους συνοδεύειν ἀλλήλοις, καὶ κατὰ μίαν συνθήκην τοῦ βίου πορεύεσθαι. Ὥστε ποῦ ἀπελθὼν χωρισθῆναί σου δύναμαι καὶ μὴ μετὰ σοῦ ζῆν καὶ μετὰ σοῦ δουλεύειν Θεῷ ᾧ κοινῇ προσεφύ γομεν; Τὰ μὲν γὰρ σώματα ἡμῶν τόποις διασταθήσεται, ὁ δὲ τοῦ Θεοῦ ὀφθαλμὸς κοινῇ ἀμφοτέρους ἐφορᾷ δηλονότι, εἴπερ οὖν ἄξιος καὶ ὁ ἐμὸς βίος ὑπὸ τῶν ὀφθαλμῶν τοῦ Θεοῦ ἐποπτεύεσθαι· ἀνέγνων γάρ που ἐν Ψαλμοῖς ὅτι «Ὀφθαλμοὶ Κυρίου ἐπὶ δικαίους.» Ἐγὼ μὲν γὰρ εὔχομαι καὶ σοὶ καὶ παντὶ τῷ παραπλησίως σοι προαιρουμένῳ καὶ τῷ σώματι συνεῖναι, καὶ πᾶσαν νύκτα καὶ ἡμέραν μετὰ σοῦ κλίνειν τὰ γόνατα πρὸς τὸν Πατέρα ἡμῶν τὸν ἐν τοῖς οὐρανοῖς, καὶ εἴ τις ἄλλος ἀξίως ἐπικαλούμενος τὸν Θεόν. Οἶδα γὰρ τὴν ἐν ταῖς προσευχαῖς κοινωνίαν πολὺ κέρδος φέρουσαν. Ἐὰν δέ, ὁσάκις ὑπάρξῃ μοι ἐν διαφόρῳ γωνιδίῳ παρερριμμένῳ στενάζειν, ἀκολουθήσῃ μοι πάντως τὸ ψεύδεσθαι, μάχεσθαι μὲν πρὸς τὸν λόγον οὐκ ἔχω, ἤδη δὲ ὡς ψεύστου ἐμαυτὸν κατακρίνω, εἴ τι τοιοῦτον κατὰ τὴν παλαιὰν ἀδιαφορίαν ἐφθεγξάμην, ἅ με τῷ κρίματι τοῦ ψεύδους ὑπόδικον καθιστᾷ. 150.3 Γενόμενος δὲ πλησίον Καισαρείας ὥστε γνωρίσαι τὰ πράγματα καὶ αὐτῇ παραβαλεῖν τῇ πόλει μὴ ἀνασχόμενος, τῷ πλησίον προσέφυγον πτωχοτροφείῳ, ὥστε ἐκεῖ μαθεῖν περὶ ὧν ἐβουλόμην. Εἶτα κατὰ συνήθειαν ἐπιδημήσαντι τῷ θεοφιλεστάτῳ ἐπισκόπῳ ἀνήνεγκα περὶ ὧν προσέταξεν ἡμῖν ἡ λογιότης σου. Καὶ ἃ μὲν ἀπεκρίνατο οὔτε τῇ μνήμῃ φυλαχθῆναι παρ' ἡμῶν δυνατὸν καὶ ἐπιστολῆς ὑπερβαίνει μέτρον. Ὡς ἐν κεφαλαίῳ δὲ περὶ τῆς ἀκτημοσύνης ἐκεῖνο ἔφη τὸ μέτρον εἶναι, ὥστε εἰς τὸν ἔσχατον χιτῶνα ἕκαστον ἑαυτῷ περιιστάναι τὴν κτῆσιν. Καὶ παρείχετο ἡμῖν ἐκ τοῦ Εὐαγγελίου τὰς ἀποδείξεις· μίαν μὲν ὡς Ἰωάννου τοῦ Βαπτιστοῦ εἰπόντος· «Ὁ ἔχων δύο χιτῶνας μεταδότω τῷ μὴ ἔχοντι», ἑτέραν δὲ ὡς τοῦ Κυρίου τοῖς μαθηταῖς ἀπαγορεύσαντος μὴ ἔχειν δύο χιτῶνας. Προσ ετίθη δὲ τούτοις καὶ τό· «Εἰ θέλεις τέλειος εἶναι, ὕπαγε, πώλησόν σου τὰ ὑπάρχοντα καὶ δὸς πτωχοῖς.» Ἔλεγε δὲ καὶ τὴν τοῦ μαργαρίτου παραβολὴν εἰς τοῦτο φέρειν, ὅτι ὁ ἔμπορος ὁ εὑρὼν τὸν πολύτιμον μαργαρίτην ἀπελθὼν ἐπώλησεν ἑαυτοῦ πάντα τὰ ὑπάρχοντα καὶ ἠγόρασεν ἐκεῖνον. Προσετίθει δὲ τούτοις ὅτι οὐδὲ ἑαυτῷ τινα ἐπι τρέπειν χρὴ τὴν τῶν χρημάτων διανομήν, ἀλλὰ τῷ τὰ τῶν πτωχῶν οἰκονομεῖν πεπιστευμένῳ. Καὶ τοῦτο ἀπὸ τῶν Πράξεων ἐπιστοῦτο, ὅτι πωλοῦντες τὰ προσόντα αὐτοῖς φέροντες ἐτίθουν παρὰ τοὺς πόδας τῶν Ἀποστόλων καὶ παρ' ἐκείνων διεδίδοτο ἑκάστῳ καθότι ἄν τις χρείαν εἶχεν. Ἔλεγε γὰρ ἐμπειρίας χρῄζειν τὴν διάγνωσιν τοῦ ἀληθῶς