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conversation of a prostitute? How to raise to heaven the hands with which you embraced the prostitute? How to move your tongue, and to pray with this mouth, with which you kissed the prostitute? With what eyes will you see the more respectable of your friends who look at you for this? And why do I say friends? For even if no one is aware, you will be compelled before all to blush and be ashamed, and above all to loathe your own body. For if this were not so, for what reason do you run to the bath after that sin? Is it not because you consider yourself more unclean than any filth? What verdict then do you expect God to render, when you who have sinned hold such an opinion about what has happened? If then the defilement is of the body, you reasonably cleanse yourself with the purifications of the baths; but since you have defiled the soul and made it entirely unclean, seek such a purification that will be able to wipe away its stain; for if we do not do this, even if we should pass through all the springs of the rivers, we will not be able to take away even a small part of this sin. If a servant, into a chest where the master's garments were stored, put a servile garment full of filth and many lice, would you have borne the outrage meekly, tell me? And what if someone poured dung and filth into a golden vessel accustomed to holding myrrh continually, would you not also have inflicted blows on the one who committed this offense? Then shall we take such great care of chests and vessels and garments, but consider our own soul to be of less value than all these things? and where the spiritual myrrh was poured out, shall we cast in diabolical pomps, and satanic things heard, and songs full of fornication? And how will God bear these things, tell me? For when you are dissolute from that spectacle, and having become an enemy of all modesty, you return and see your wife, you will surely see her as more unpleasant, whatever she may be; for being captivated by the licentious spectacle, you dishonor the modest and orderly companion of your whole life, you in 63.738 sult her, you cover her with countless reproaches but gaping with desire for that defiled and unclean one from whom you received the wound, and having the echo of her voice fixed and audible in your soul, and her form and her glance and her movements, and all the images of fornication, you no longer see anything in the house with pleasure. For just as those who are seized by a heavy head and drunkenness wander about simply and at random, and even if there is a chasm or a cliff, or whatever lies beneath, they fall down unguardedly; so also those who rush into sin, as if seized by a terrible drunkenness with the desire for sin, do not know what they are doing, nor do they foresee anything of the present or the future. For such is sin; after it has been done and completely finished, then it arouses birth-pangs in the soul that bore it, contrary to the laws of our own birth. For we, as soon as we are born, relieve the birth-pangs, but sin, as soon as it is born, tears apart with pains the thoughts that bore it. For in the act of sinning, being intoxicated by pleasure, we do not perceive it thus; but when it is done and comes to an end, then indeed, when all the pleasure has been extinguished, the bitter sting of repentance enters in; and in the doing of the sin, and before it is done and after it is done, our conscience stands over us as a vehement accuser. Such is the habit of sinners: they suspect everything, they tremble at shadows, they fear every sound, and they think everyone is coming for them; for many times I have seen many running for another service, and they thought they were coming for them. And when some are discussing other things with one another, those who are conscious of sin in themselves think that they are talking about them. For such is sin; with no one refuting, it betrays; with no one accusing, it condemns, and it makes the sinner fearful of sound and cowardly; just as righteousness, on the contrary. Hear the cowardice of this one, and the boldness of the just: The wicked flees, he says, when no one pursues. How, when no one pursues
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πόρνας ὁμιλίαν; πῶς τὰς χεῖρας εἰς τὸν οὐρανὸν ἀνατεῖναι, αἷς τὴν πόρνην περιελάμβανες; πῶς κινῆσαι γλῶτταν, καὶ τῷ στόματι εὔξασθαι τούτῳ, ᾧ τὴν πόρνην ἐφίλησας; ποίοις ὀφθαλμοῖς ὄψει τῶν εἰς τοῦτο βλεπόντων σε φίλων τοὺς σεμνοτέρους; Καὶ τί λέγω τοὺς φίλους; κἂν γὰρ μηδεὶς ὁ συνειδὼς ᾖ, σὺ σαυτὸν ἀναγκασθήσῃ πρὸ πάντων ἐρυθριᾷν καὶ αἰσχύνεσθαι, καὶ πάντων μᾶλλον τὸ ἑαυτοῦ βδελύττεσθαι σῶμα. Εἰ γὰρ μὴ τοῦτο ἦν, τίνος ἕνεκεν ἐπὶ βαλανεῖον μετὰ τὴν ἁμαρτίαν τρέχεις ἐκείνην; οὐκ ἐπειδὴ βορβόρου παντὸς ἀκαθαρτότερον σαυτὸν εἶναι νομίζεις; Τίνα οὖν τὸν Θεὸν προσδοκᾷς ψῆφον οἴσειν, ὅταν ὁ πεπλημμεληκὼς σὺ τοιαύτην περὶ τῶν γεγενημένων γνώμην ἔχῃς; Εἰ μὲν οὖν σωματικὸς ὁ ῥύπος ἐστὶν, εἰκότως τοῖς τῶν βαλανείων καθαρσίοις ἑαυτὸν ἀποσμήχεις· ἐπεὶ δὲ τὴν ψυχὴν καταῤῥυπάνας ἀκάθαρτον ὅλην ἐποίησας, τοιοῦτον ζήτει καθάρσιον, ὃ τὴν ἐκείνης κηλῖδα ἀποσμῆξαι δυνήσεται· ὡς ἐὰν μὴ τοῦτο ποιῶμεν, κἂν ἁπάσας τῶν ποταμῶν διέλθωμεν τὰς πηγὰς, οὐδὲ μικρὸν τῆς ἁμαρτίας ταύτης ὑφελέσθαι δυνησόμεθα μέρος. Εἴ τις οἰκέτης εἰς κιβώτιον, ἔνθα τὰ δεσποτικὰ ἱμάτια ἀπέκειντο, ἱμάτιον δουλικὸν ῥύπου γέμον καὶ πολλῶν φθειρῶν ἐναπέθετο, ἆρα ἂν πράως ἤνεγκας τὴν ὕβριν, εἰπέ μοι; Τί δὲ, εἴ τις εἰς ἀγγεῖον χρυσοῦν μύρα διηνεκῶς ἔχειν εἰωθὸς, κόπρον καὶ βόρβορον ἐνέχεεν, οὐκ ἂν καὶ πληγὰς ἐπέθηκας τῷ πλημμελήσαντι τοῦτο; Εἶτα κιβωτίων μὲν καὶ σκευῶν καὶ ἱματίων τοσαύτην ποιούμεθα τὴν πρόνοιαν, τὴν δὲ ψυχὴν τὴν ἡμετέραν πρὸ πάντων τούτων εὐτελεστέραν εἶναι νομιοῦμεν; καὶ ἔνθα τὸ μύρον τὸ πνευματικὸν ἐξεχύθη, διαβολικὰς πομπὰς ἐμβαλοῦμεν, καὶ ἀκούσματα σατανικὰ καὶ ᾄσματα πορνείας γέμοντα; καὶ πῶς ταῦτα οἴσει ὁ Θεὸς, εἰπέ μοι; Ὅταν γὰρ ὑπὸ τῆς ἐκεῖ θεωρίας διαχυθῇς, καὶ σωφροσύνης ἁπάσης ἐχθρὸς γενόμενος, ἐπανελθὼν ἴδῃς τὴν γυναῖκα, ἀηδέστερον ὄψει πάντως οἵα ἂν ᾖ· ὑπὸ γὰρ τῆς ἀκολάστου θεωρίας ἁλοὺς, τὴν μὲν σώφρονα καὶ κοσμίαν καὶ τοῦ βίου παντὸς κοινωνὸν ἀτιμάζεις, ὑβρί 63.738 ζεις, μυρίοις περιβάλλεις ὀνείδεσι πρὸς δὲ τὴν μιαρὰν καὶ ἀκάθαρτον κεχηνὼς ἐκείνην ἐπιθυμίαν, παρ' ἧς τὸ τραῦμα ἐδέξω, καὶ τὴν ἠχὴν τῆς φωνῆς ἔχων ἐγκαθημένην τῇ ψυχῇ ἔναυλον, καὶ τὸ σχῆμα καὶ τὸ βλέμμα καὶ τὰ κινήματα, καὶ πάντα τῆς πορνείας τὰ εἴδωλα, οὐδὲν μεθ' ἡδονῆς λοιπὸν τῶν ἐπὶ τῆς οἰκίας ὁρᾷς. Καθάπερ γὰρ οἱ καρηβαρίᾳ καὶ μέθῃ κατεχόμενοι ἁπλῶς καὶ εἰκῆ περιφέρονται, κἂν βάραθρον καὶ κρημνὸς, κἂν ὁτιοῦν ὑποκείμενον ᾖ, καταπίπτουσιν ἀφυλάκτως· οὕτω καὶ οἱ πρὸς τὴν ἁμαρτίαν ὁρμήσαντες, καθάπερ μέθῃ δεινῇ τῇ τῆς ἁμαρτίας ἐπιθυμίᾳ κατεχόμενοι, οὐκ ἴσασιν ὅπερ πράττουσιν, οὐ τῶν παρόντων, οὐ τῶν μελλόντων τι προορῶσιν. Καὶ γὰρ τοιοῦτον ἡ ἁμαρτία· μετὰ τὸ πραχθῆναι καὶ τελείως ἀπαρτισθῆναι, τότε τὰς ὠδῖνας ἐγείρει τῇ τεκούσῃ ψυχῇ, ἀπεναντίας τῶν νόμων τῆς ἡμετέρας γεννήσεως. Ἡμεῖς μὲν γὰρ ὁμοῦ τεχθέντες τὰς ὠδῖνας λύομεν, ἐκείνη δὲ ὁμοῦ τεχθεῖσα διασπᾷ ταῖς ὀδύναις τοὺς τεκόντας αὐτὴν λογισμούς. Ἐν γὰρ τῷ πράττειν τὴν ἁμαρτίαν ὑπὸ τῆς ἡδονῆς μεθύοντες οὐχ οὕτως αἰσθανόμεθα· ἐπειδὰν δὲ γένηται καὶ λάβῃ τέλος, τότε δὴ μάλιστα τῆς ἡδονῆς σβεσθείσης ἁπάσης, τὸ πικρὸν τῆς μετανοίας ἐπεισέρχεται κέντρον· καὶ ἐν τῷ γίνεσθαι τὴν ἁμαρτίαν, καὶ πρὶν γενέσθαι καὶ μετὰ τὸ γενέσθαι σφοδρὸς ἐφέστηκε τὸ συνειδὸς ἡμῶν κατήγορος. Τοιοῦτον τὸ τῶν ἁμαρτανόντων ἔθος ἐστί· πάντα ὑποπτεύουσι, τὰς σκιὰς τρέμουσι, πάντα ψόφον δεδοίκασι, καὶ ἕκαστον ἐπ' αὐτοὺς βαδίζειν νομίζουσι· πολλοὺς γὰρ πολλάκις εἶδον ἐφ' ἑτέραν τρέχοντας διακονίαν, καὶ ἐνόμισαν ἐπ' αὐτοὺς ἥκειν. Καὶ ἄλλα ἄλλων πρὸς ἀλλήλους διαλεγομένων, οἱ συνειδότες ἑαυτοῖς ἁμαρτίαν, περὶ αὐτῶν ἐκείνους διαλέγεσθαι νομίζουσι. Τοιοῦτον γὰρ ἡ ἁμαρτία· οὐδενὸς ἐλέγχοντος προδίδωσιν, οὐδενὸς κατηγοροῦντος καταδικάζει, καὶ ψοφοδεῆ ποιεῖ καὶ δειλὸν τὸν ἡμαρτηκότα· ὥσπερ οὖν ἡ δικαιοσύνη τοὐναντίον. Ἄκουσον καὶ τούτου τὴν δειλίαν, καὶ τοῦ δικαίου τὴν παῤῥησίαν· Φεύγει ὁ ἀσεβὴς, φησὶ, μηδενὸς διώκοντος. Πῶς οὐδενὸς διώκοντος