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or to recount to you all things concerning it, as one who does not know, it tries to present to you through word what sort of being God is. But it is not permitted for those in the world or those living according to the flesh to seek out such things, but by receiving these things by faith alone, to imitate the lives of all the saints, with tears and repentance and the rest of the harsh asceticism, and to run with endurance of temptations, so that they may get outside the world, as has been said by me, and they will find, as I said, (235) all things without omission. And having found them they will be astonished and they will marvel, and they will pray for me, the wretched one, that I may not fall away from these things, but that I may attain to those very things, which I longed to attain and I long for and with longing I obscure and blunt my longing. Have you ever heard such a thing? For longing kindles longing and the fire feeds the flame; but in me it is not so, but - I do not know how to say it - the excess of love extinguishes my love. For I do not love as much as I want, and I reckon that I do not possess the love of God at all. And seeking insatiably to love as much as I want, I also lose what love of God I had, O wonder! Just as one who has a treasure and happens to be a lover of money, because he does not have everything,
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ἤ τά κατ᾿ αὐτήν σοι πάντα διηγεῖσθαι, ὡς οὐκ οἶδε, ποταπός σοι διά λόγου παραστῆσαι ὁ Θεός ἐστιν, πειρᾶται. Ἀλλ᾿ οὐκ ἔξεστι τοιαῦτα ἐκζητεῖν τούς ἐν τῷ κόσμῳ ἤ τούς κατά σάρκα ζῶντας, ἀλλά πίστει μόνῃ ταῦτα δεχομένους ἐκμιμεῖσθαι βίους τῶν ἁγίων πάντων, δάκρυσι καί μετανοίᾳ καί λοιπῇ σκληραγωγίᾳ, πειρασμῶν ὑπομονῇ τε τρέχειν, ὅπως ἔξω κόσμου γένωνται, ὡς εἴρηταί μοι, καί εὑρήσουσιν, ὡς εἶπον, (235) ἅπαντα ἀπαραλείπτως. Ἐκπλαγήσονται δ᾿ εὑρόντες καί θαυμάσονται, κἀμοῦ δέ τοῦ ἀθλίου ὑπερεύξονται, ἵνα τούτων μή ἐκπέσω, ἀλλ᾿ αὐτῶν ἐκείνων τύχω, ὧνπερ καί τυχεῖν ἐπόθουν καί ποθῶ καί πόθῳ πόθον ἀμαυρῷ καί ἀπαμβλύνω. Ἤκουσάς ποτε τοιοῦτον; Πόθος γάρ πόθον ἀνάπτει καί τό πῦρ τρέφει τήν φλόγα˙ ἐν ἐμοί δ᾿ οὐκ ἔστιν οὕτως, ἀλλά - πῶς εἰπεῖν οὐκ ἔχω - ἔρωτος τό ὑπερβάλλον σβέννυσι τόν ἔρωτά μου. Οὐκ ἐρῶ γάρ, ὅσον θέλω, καί λογίζομαι μηδ᾿ ὅλως ἔρωτα Θεοῦ κεκτῆσθαι. Ἐκζητῶν δέ ἀκορέστως τοῦ ἐρᾶν με, ὅσον θέλω, προσαπόλλω καί ὅν εἶχον ἔρωτα θεοῦ, ὤ θαῦμα! Ὥσπερ θησαυρόν ὁ ἔχων καί φιλάργυρος τυγχάνων, ὅτι μή τά πάντα ἔχει,