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the splendor of your face, nor was I strong enough to perceive or comprehend it, to see or know you yourself, whoever you might be? From then on, therefore, as I stood more frequently at the spring itself, you who are without pride did not disdain to come down, but arriving and first taking hold of my head, you dipped it in the waters and made me see the light of your face more clearly. But you flew away immediately, not allowing me to understand who you were, you who were doing these things, or from where you had come or where you had arrived, for you no longer granted me this. As you came and went in this way for a time, little by little you appeared more and more and sprinkled me with the waters and granted me to see more clearly and more light.

Having done this for a long time, you deemed me worthy to see a fearsome thing and mystery. For as you arrived and seemed to be washing me with the waters and sprinkling me and often dipping me in them, I beheld the lightnings that shone around me and the rays of your face mixed with the waters, and I was ecstatic, seeing myself being washed with light-like water. (454) And I did not know from where or who was the provider of this, but only rejoiced as I was being washed, growing in faith, winged by hope and ascending to heaven, while hating exceedingly those deceivers who suggested to me the words of deceit and falsehood and pitying their error, I would not come together with them at all for a meeting or conversation, but I even fled the harm of their sight; but my co-worker and helper, I mean your holy disciple and apostle, I revered, honored, and loved from my soul as you yourself who formed me, falling at his feet night and day and beseeching him, "If you can do anything, help me," having the full conviction that whatever he wishes, he is able to do with you.

Thus, then, continuing for a considerable time in your grace, I saw again another fearsome mystery. For taking hold of me, having ascended to the heavens, you led me up with you—whether in the body, I do not know, or out of the body, you alone know, you who did this. But indeed, having spent an hour there with you, and being astonished at the greatness of the glory—of what or of whom I do not know—and amazed at the immeasurable height, I shuddered all over. And again you left me alone on earth, where I was standing before, and I was found lamenting and amazed at my wretchedness. Then, not long after I was below, you deigned to show me your face high in the heavens, as they were opened, like a sun without form. And whoever you might be, you did not grant me to know even so—for how could I, since you did not speak to me? but you were hidden immediately and I went about seeking you, whom I did not know, and I longed to see your form and to know knowably (455) who you were. Therefore also, from the great force and the fire of your love, I wept continually, not knowing you yourself, who you are, the one who brought me from non-being into being and led me out of the mire and for whom all the things that have been said have happened to me.

So, as you appeared again many times in this way and many times again without speaking you were hidden from me, not being seen at all, but seeing the lightnings and the splendor of your face, as before in the waters, again and many times surrounding me, being altogether unable to grasp them, I would remember where I had once seen you above, and foolishly supposing you to be another, I again sought with tears to see you. Thus, therefore, pressing myself in much grief and affliction and distress and forgetting myself and the whole world entirely and the things in the world, and not perceiving a shadow or anything at all or that there is anything that is seen, you yourself, the one invisible to all, the intangible and ungraspable, shone forth and seemed to me to be purifying my mind and broadening the vision of my soul and granting me to see your glory still more, and that you yourself grow more and shining more you expand, and by the withdrawal of the darkness I perceived you yourself approaching and coming, just as often also in sensible things

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προσώπου αἴγλην ἰδεῖν, οὐδέ καταμαθεῖν ἤ κατανοῆσαι ἐξίσχυσα, σέ αὐτόν ἰδεῖν ἤ γνῶναι, ὅστις ποτέ ᾖς; Ἔκτοτε οὖν συχνοτέρως καί πρός αὐτῇ τῇ πηγῇ ἱσταμένου μου, ὁ ἀνυπερήφανος οὐκ ἀπηξίους κατέρχεσθαι, ἀλλά παραγινόμενος καί κρατῶν μου πρῶτον τήν κεφαλήν, ἐνέβαπτες αὐτήν ἐν τοῖς ὕδασι καί καθαρώτερον ἐποίεις ὁρᾶν με τό φῶς τοῦ προσώπου σου. Εὐθύς δέ ἀφίπτασο, μή διδούς ἐννοεῖν με ὅστις αὐτός ᾖς, ὁ ταῦτα ποιῶν, ἤ ὅθεν τε ἦλθες ἤ ποῦ ἀφίκεσαι, οὐδέ γάρ ἔτι τοῦτο ἐδίδως μοι. Οὕτω δέ ἐρχομένου ἐπί χρόνον και ἀπιόντος σου, κατ᾿ ὀλίγον ἐφαίνου πλέον καί πλέον κἀμέ περιήντλεις τοῖς ὕδασι καί καθαρώτερον ὁρᾶν καί πλέον φῶς ἐχαρίζω μοι.

Τοῦτο δέ ἐγχρονίσας ποιῶν, φρικτόν με πρᾶγμα καί μυστήριον ἰδεῖν κατηξίωσας. Σοῦ γάρ παραγινομένου καί τῷ δοκεῖν με τοῖς ὕδασι πλύνοντος καί περιαντλοῦντος καί ἐν αὐτοῖς πολλάκις ἐμβάπτοντος, τάς ἀστραπάς τάς περιλαμπούσας με καί τάς ἀκτῖνας τοῦ προσώπου σου ἀναμιγείσας ἐθεασάμην τοῖς ὕδασι καί ἐξέστην, ὁρῶν φωτοειδεῖ με ὕδατι ἐκπλυνόμενον. (454) Καί ποῦ ποθεν ἦν τίς ὁ τούτου πάροχος, οὐκ ἐγίνωσκον, μόνον δέ λουόμενος ἔχαιρον τῇ πίστει αὐξάνων, τῇ ἐλπίδι πτερούμενος καί ἕως οὐρανοῦ ἀνερχόμενος, τούς δέ πλάνους ἐκείνους, τούς τά ῥήματα τῆς ἀπάτης καί τοῦ ψεύδους ὑποτιθεμένους μοι, σφόδρα μισῶν καί τῆς πλάνης κατελεῶν, οὐδέ πρός συντυχίαν ἤ ὁμιλίαν ὅλως αὐτοῖς συνηρχόμην, ἀλλά καί τῆς θέας αὐτῶν τήν βλάβην ἐξέφευγον, τόν δέ συνεργόν καί βοηθόν μου, τόν ἅγιόν σου λέγω μαθητήν καί ἀπόστολον, ὡς αὐτόν σέ τόν ἐμέ πλάσαντα, ἐσεβόμην, ἐτίμων, ἠγάπων ἀπό ψυχῆς, προσπίπτων αὐτοῦ τοῖς ποσί νυκτός καί ἡμέρας καί "Εἴ τι δύνασαι, βοήθει μοι" αὐτόν ἐξαιτούμενος, πληροφορίας ἔχων ὅτι ὅσα καί βούλεται, δύναται παρά σοί.

Οὕτως οὖν ἐφ᾿ ἱκανόν χρόνον τῇ χάριτί σου διατελῶν, ἄλλο πάλιν εἶδον φρικτόν μυστήριον. Λαβόμενος γάρ με, εἰς οὐρανούς ἀνελθών, συνανήγαγες, εἴτε ἐν σώματι, οὐκ οἶδα, εἴτε ἐκτός τοῦ σώματος, σύ μόνον οἶδας, ὁ καί τοῦτο ποιήσας. Ἀλλά γάρ ὥραν ἐκεῖσε μετά σοῦ με ποιήσαντα, καί τῆς δόξης - τίνος δέ ἀγνοῶ καί οὗτινος - τό μέγεθος, ἐκπλαγείς καί τῷ ἀμετρήτῳ ὕψει ἐκθαμβηθείς, ὅλος ἔφριξα. Πάλιν δέ με μόνον ἀφῆκας ἐν γῇ, ἐν ᾗ καί ἱστάμην τό πρότερον, καί εὑρέθην θρηνῶν καί τήν παλαιπωρίαν μου ἐκθαμβούμενος. Εἶτα κάτω μετ᾿ οὐ πολύ ὄντος μου, ἄνω εἰς οὐρανούς, διανοιχθέντων αὐτῶν, τό πρόσωπόν σου, ὡς ἥλιον ἄμορφον, κατηξιώσας ὑποδεῖξαί μοι. Καί ὅστις ποτέ ᾖς, οὐδ᾿ οὕτω μοι γνῶναι δέδωκας - πῶς γάρ, μή λαλήσας μοι; ἀλλ᾿ ἐκρύβης εὐθύς κἀγώ περιῄν ζητῶν σε, ὅν οὐκ ἐγίνωσκον, καί μορφήν σου ἰδεῖν καί γνωστῶς γνῶναι (455) ὅστις ᾖς ἐπεπόθουν. ∆ιό καί ἀπό τῆς πολλῆς βίας καί τοῦ πυρός τῆς ἀγάπης σου διαπαντός ἔκλαιον, μή εἰδώς αὐτόν σέ ὅστις εἶ, τόν ἐκ τοῦ μή ὄντος εἰς τό εἶναι παραγαγόντα με καί ἐκ τοῦ βορβόρου ἐξαγαγόντα καί τά εἰρημένα ἅπαντα γεγονότα μοι.

Ὡς οὖν οὕτω πάλιν πολλάκις ὤφθης καί πολλάκις πάλιν μή λαλήσας ἐκρύβης μοι μηδόλως ὁρώμενος, τάς ἀστραπάς δέ καί τήν αἴγλην τήν τοῦ προσώπου σου ὁρῶν, ὥσπερ πρότερον ἐν τοῖς ὕδασι, πάλιν καί πολλάκις περικυκλούσας με, κρατεῖν δέ ταύτας ὅλως ἀμηχανῶν, ἐμιμνησκόμην ὅπου ποτέ ἄνω εἶδόν σε, καί ἄλλον εἶναι ἀφρόνως ὑπονοούμενος πάλιν ἐζήτουν μετά δακρύων ἰδέσθαι σε. Οὕτως οὖν ἐν πολλῇ λύπῃ καί θλίψει καί στενοχωρίᾳ ἐμαυτόν ἐκπιέζων καί ἐμαυτοῦ ἐπιλανθανόμενος καί ὅλου ὅλως τοῦ κόσμου καί τῶν ἐν κόσμῳ, καί μηδέ σκιάν, μηδέ ὁτιοῦν ἤ ὅτι ἐστί τί ποτε τό ὁρώμενον ἐννοῶν, αὐτός ὁ πάσιν ἀόρατος, ὁ ἀναφής καί ἄληπτος, ἔφανας καί ἐδόκεις μοι τόν ἐμόν νοῦν καθαίρων καί πλατύνων τό τῆς ψυχῆς ὀπτικόν καί ἐπί πλεῖον παρέχων ὁρᾶν τήν δόξαν σου, καί ὅτι μᾶλλον αὐξάνεις αὐτός καί λάμπων πλέον πλατύνῃ, καί τῇ τοῦ σκότους ὑποχωρήσει αὐτόν σε πλησιάζοντα καί ἐρχόμενον κατεμάνθανον, καθά πολλάκις καί ἐν τοῖς αἰσθητοῖς