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I accepted slanders, although many were asserting that they did not hold right opinions concerning God, but having been disciples of the leader of the present heresy, they were secretly sowing his teachings; since I was never an ear-witness of these things, I considered those reporting them to be slanderers. But when we were at last called to the leadership of the Church, as for the guardians and scouts of my life who were delivered to us, under the pretense, forsooth, of help and loving fellowship, I am silent, lest I should seem to slander myself by saying incredible things, or, if believed, to create an occasion for misanthropy in those who believe. Which very thing nearly happened to me, if the mercies of God had not quickly overtaken me. For I nearly fell into suspicion against all men, thinking nothing trustworthy in anyone, my soul having been struck by deceitful actions. But nevertheless for a time there seemed to be some form of intimacy between us and them. And once and twice there were propositions made by us about dogmas, and having agreed, we seemed not to be at variance. For when they found us uttering the same language concerning the faith in God, which they heard from us at all times (for even if our other things are worthy of groans, but this one thing at least I dare to boast in the Lord, that I have never held erring opinions concerning God, or, thinking otherwise, later changed my mind. But the conception concerning God which I received as a child from my blessed mother and my grandmother Macrina, this I have held within me, grown up; for I did not receive one thing after another in the completion of my reason, but I perfected the principles handed down to me by them. For just as what grows becomes larger from being small, but is the same with itself, not changing in kind, but being perfected through growth; so I reckon that the same doctrine has grown in me through progress) ... so let them examine their own conscience, and let them remember the judgment seat of Christ, whether they ever heard anything else from us besides what we now say, they who have now made us notorious for heterodoxy, and who with the denunciatory letters which they wrote against us have made every ear ring. Whence we too came to the necessity of this defense. 223.4 For we are accused of blasphemy against God neither from a writing which we have put forth, nor from all that we have unwrittenly, by word of mouth, always discoursed openly to the Churches of God. But not even a witness has been found who says he has heard from us any of the impious things spoken in a corner. Whence then are we judged, if we neither write impiously, nor speak publicly in a harmful way, nor pervert those who meet with us in private conversations? Oh, what a new drama! "So-and-so," he says, "in Syria wrote some things impiously; but you wrote to him more than twenty years ago. You are therefore a partner of the man, and let his accusations also become yours." But, O man, lover of truth, you who have been taught that a lie is the offspring of the devil, how were you persuaded that that letter was mine? For you did not send, nor did you ask, nor were you taught by me, who was able to tell you the truth. But even if the letter is mine, whence is it clear that this treatise which has now fallen into your hands is contemporary with my letter? Who told you that this composition is twenty years old? And whence is it clear that the treatise is by that man to whom the letter from me was also sent? But if he is the author and I wrote to him and the time of my letter and of the treatise is one, what is the proof that I accepted it in my mind and hold that opinion in myself? 223.5 Ask yourself: how many times did you visit us at the monastery on the river Iris, when my most God-beloved brother Gregory was with me, pursuing the same purpose of life as I? Did you hear any such thing or receive a small or greater indication? And at Eusinoe, when, with many bishops about to set out for Lampsacus, you summoned me, were not the

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διαβολὰς προσιέμην, καίτοι πολλῶν διαβεβαιουμένων μὴ ὀρθὰς ἔχειν περὶ Θεοῦ τὰς ὑπολήψεις, ἀλλὰ τῷ προστάτῃ τῆς νῦν αἱρέσεως μαθητευθέντας τὰ ἐκείνου λάθρᾳ κατασ πείρειν διδάγματα· ὧν ἐπειδὴ οὐδέποτε αὐτήκοος ἐγενόμην, συκοφάντας ἡγούμην τοὺς ἀπαγγέλλοντας. Ἐπεὶ δὲ λοιπὸν ἐκλήθημεν εἰς τὴν προστασίαν τῆς Ἐκκλησίας, τοὺς μὲν παραδοθέντας ἡμῖν φύλακας καὶ σκοπευτὰς τοῦ βίου, ἐν προσποιήσει δῆθεν βοηθείας καὶ κοινωνίας ἀγαπητικῆς, σιωπῶ, ἵνα μὴ δόξω ἢ ἄπιστα λέγων ἐμαυτὸν διαβάλλειν, ἢ πιστευόμενος μισανθρωπίας ἀφορμὴν τοῖς πιστεύουσιν ἐμποιεῖν. Ὃ καὶ ἐμοὶ μικροῦ συνέβη, εἰ μή με ταχὺ προκα τελάβοντο οἱ οἰκτιρμοὶ τοῦ Θεοῦ. Μικροῦ γὰρ εἰς τὴν κατὰ πάντων ἐξέπεσον ὑποψίαν, οὐδὲν ἡγούμενος εἶναι παρ' οὐδενὶ πιστόν, ἐκ τῶν δολερῶν πραγμάτων τὴν ψυχὴν πεπληγμένος. Ἀλλ' ὅμως ἐδόκει τέως εἶναί τι ἡμῖν σχῆμα τῆς πρὸς αὐτοὺς συνηθείας. Καὶ προβολαὶ δὲ ἐγένοντο ἡμῖν περὶ δογμάτων ἅπαξ καὶ δίς, καὶ ἐδόξαμεν μὴ διακρίνεσθαι συμφωνήσαντες. Ὡς γὰρ εὕρισκον ἡμᾶς τὰς αὐτὰς ἀφιέν τας φωνὰς περὶ τῆς εἰς Θεὸν πίστεως, ἃς παρὰ πάντα τὸν χρόνον ἤκουσαν παρ' ἡμῶν (εἰ γὰρ καὶ τἄλλα ἡμῶν στεναγ μῶν ἄξια, ἀλλ' ἕν γε τοῦτο τολμῶ καυχᾶσθαι ἐν Κυρίῳ, ὅτι οὐδέποτε πεπλανημένας ἔσχον τὰς περὶ Θεοῦ ὑπολή ψεις, ἢ ἑτέρως φρονῶν μετέμαθον ὕστερον. Ἀλλ' ἣν ἐκ παιδὸς ἔλαβον ἔννοιαν περὶ Θεοῦ παρὰ τῆς μακαρίας μητρός μου καὶ τῆς μάμμης Μακρίνης, ταύτην αὐξηθεῖσαν ἔσχον ἐν ἐμαυτῷ· οὐ γὰρ ἄλλα ἐξ ἄλλων μετέλαβον ἐν τῇ τοῦ λόγου συμπληρώσει, ἀλλὰ τὰς παραδοθείσας μοι παρ' αὐτῶν ἀρχὰς ἐτελείωσα. Ὥσπερ γὰρ τὸ αὐξανόμενον μεῖζον μὲν ἀπὸ μικροῦ γίνεται, ταὐτὸ δέ ἐστιν ἑαυτῷ, οὐ κατὰ γένος μεταβαλλόμενον, ἀλλὰ κατ' αὔξησιν τελειούμενον· οὕτω λογίζομαι ἐμοὶ τὸν αὐτὸν λόγον διὰ τῆς προκοπῆς ηὐξῆσθαι) ... ὥστε ἐρευνάτωσαν μὲν τὸ ἑαυτῶν συνειδός, ἐνθυμείσθωσαν δὲ τὸ τοῦ Χριστοῦ δικαστήριον, εἴ ποτε ἄλλο τι ἤκουσαν παρ' ἡμῶν παρ' ὃ νῦν λέγομεν, οἱ νῦν ἡμᾶς διαθρυλήσαντες ἐπὶ κακοδοξίᾳ, καὶ ταῖς στηλιτευτικαῖς ἐπιστολαῖς ἃς συνέγραψαν καθ' ἡμῶν πᾶσαν περικτυπή σαντες ἀκοήν. Ὅθεν καὶ ἡμεῖς πρὸς τὴν ἀνάγκην ἤλθομεν τῆς ἀπολογίας ταύτης. 223.4 Ἐγκαλούμεθα γὰρ τὴν εἰς Θεὸν βλασφημίαν οὔτε ἀπὸ συγγραφῆς ἧς προεβαλλόμεθα, ἢ ὅσα ἀγράφως ἀπὸ στόματος ἀεὶ ἐν τῷ φανερῷ ταῖς Ἐκκλησίαις τοῦ Θεοῦ διελέχθημεν. Ἀλλ' οὐδὲ μάρτυς εὑρέθη ὁ λέγων παρ' ἡμῶν ἀκηκοέναι τι τῶν ἀσεβῶν ἐν παραβύστῳ φθεγξαμένων. Πόθεν οὖν κρινό μεθα, εἰ μήτε συγγράφομεν ἀσεβῶς, μήτε δημηγοροῦμεν ἐπι βλαβῶς, μήτε ἐν ταῖς κατ' οἶκον ὁμιλίαις τοὺς ἐντυγχάνοντας διαστρέφομεν; Ὢ τοῦ καινοῦ δράματος. «Ὁ δεῖνα, φησίν, ἐπὶ τῆς Συρίας ἔγραψέ τινα ὡς οὐκ εὐσεβῶς· σὺ δὲ ἐπέστει λας αὐτῷ πρὸ εἴκοσιν ἐτῶν καὶ πλειόνων. Κοινωνὸς ἄρα σὺ τοῦ ἀνθρώπου, καὶ τὰ ἐκείνου κατηγορήματα καὶ σὰ γινέσθω.» Ἀλλ', ὦ φίλε τῆς ἀληθείας ἄνθρωπε, ὁ τὸ ψεῦδος γέννημα εἶναι τοῦ διαβόλου δεδιδαγμένος, πῶς ἐπείσθης ἐμὴν εἶναι τὴν ἐπιστολὴν ἐκείνην; Οὐ γὰρ ἀπέστειλας, οὐδ' ἠρώτησας, οὐδὲ παρ' ἐμοῦ, τοῦ δυναμένου σοι τἀληθὲς εἰπεῖν, ἐδιδάχθης. Εἰ δὲ καὶ ἐμὸν τὸ γράμμα, πόθεν δῆλον ὅτι τοῦτο τὸ νῦν σοι ἐμπεσὸν σύνταγμα σύγχρονον τοῖς ἐμοῖς γράμμασι; Τίς σοι ὁ εἰπὼν ὅτι εἴκοσίν ἐστιν ἐτῶν ἡ συγγραφὴ αὕτη; Πόθεν δὲ δῆλον ὅτι ἐκείνου ἐστὶ τοῦ ἀνθρώπου τὸ σύνταγμα πρὸς ὃν καὶ ἡ παρ' ἐμοῦ ἐπιστολὴ διεπέμφθη; Εἰ δὲ κἀκεῖνος ὁ συγ γραφεὺς κἀγὼ ἐκείνῳ ἐπέστειλα καὶ χρόνος εἷς τῶν τ' ἐμῶν γραμμάτων καὶ τοῦ συγγράμματος, ὅτι παρεδεξάμην αὐτὸ τῇ διανοίᾳ καὶ ἔχω ἐν ἐμαυτῷ ἐκεῖνο τὸ φρόνημα, τίς ἡ ἀπόδειξις; 223.5 Ἐρώτησον σεαυτόν· ποσάκις ἡμᾶς ἐπεσκέψω ἐπὶ τῆς μονῆς τῆς ἐπὶ τῷ Ἴριδι ποταμῷ, ὅτε δὲ συμπαρῆν μοι ὁ θεο φιλέστατος ἀδελφὸς Γρηγόριος τὸν αὐτόν μοι τοῦ βίου σκοπὸν διανύων; Εἰ ἤκουσάς τι τοιοῦτον ἢ ἔλαβες ἔμφασιν μικρὰν ἢ μείζονα; Ἐπὶ δὲ τῆς Εὐσινόης, ὅτε, μετὰ πλειό νων ἐπισκόπων μέλλοντες ὁρμᾶν ἐπὶ Λάμψακον, προσεκα λέσασθέ με, οὐ περὶ πίστεως ἦσαν οἱ