204

you were brought to such a point of both anger and grief. But I confess neither to have heard the man speaking, nor, even if it happened that I learned of it, to have considered it a priority to punish the one who said it. For you yourself have no less power than I, both to punish those who offend and to grant pardon, if you wish. If, then, you are indignant only on account of those words, it is fitting that you exact punishment from yourself rather than from me. But if there is need of something else, 2.28 which until now is unknown to me, speak confidently, as there will be nothing difficult with me, whatever may be according to your mind, unless it be entirely among the most impossible things.” Such things the empress replied to the words of the great domestic. But he said that he himself had been entirely ignorant of the power of his own words, and that the empress's understanding of what was happening was as far from the truth as possible. So that you may both know yourself and tell the empress that I am thinking just thoughts, hear how I feel about the situation. The most profound friendship between me and that emperor from childhood, you would be ignorant of, as is likely, and so would the empress, being occupied with her own affairs. But as for my dealings with the emperor his grandfather, both at the beginning and the end of the war, when, with all the others having undergone many and various changes of fortune, and with all being set against him, he was driven into almost the last extremity, I eagerly fought alongside him, sparing neither body, nor money, nor any other of my own possessions, but in the most pressing of times that required genuine friends, I became everything to him and left nothing of what was needed undone, and after he became master of the situation, both against foreign enemies, I mean both Greeks and barbarians, and against conspirators within, as if I were he himself, I both worked with him and shared with him the toils and 2.29 dangers on his behalf, for I pass over speaking of the administration of affairs, how, by undertaking all the labor myself, I made his rule free from grief and toil for him, all the Romans would know, with the facts themselves shouting it most clearly, and they would bear witness with me; and most of all the others, the empress, being clearly taught not only by the facts, but also by the emperor himself of our harmony toward one another, which surpassed, I think, all those celebrated for friendship both in ancient times and now. On account of which it happened that we not only benefited from each other, but also lived most gloriously up to the present time. It is strange, therefore, that having in all the time before never given myself any pretext for disgrace, I should now voluntarily do things worthy of reproach and blame. For if, being ignorant of to what evils affairs will proceed, I become a cause of disgrace for myself, and of destruction and dangers for the rest of the Romans, I am not right to ask for any pardon, being my own judge. And if, while perceiving, as I now clearly understand, I then grow soft from fear of not seeming to relinquish power in dangerous times, I am worthy not only of reproach, but also of the ultimate penalty, because, although foreseeing it, I willingly submitted to appear wicked and as one not knowing how to use either the times or the circumstances as is necessary. On account of which I have decided to free myself from dangers and disgrace. 2.30 And yet it is not possible to provide any benefit for the empress and the emperor’s children from this disgrace and these dangers. For that would have been no small consolation. But so that I may not seem to be running away from the toils and dangers on behalf of the emperor's children, for now in these times of peace, when there is no war, nor any expectation of evils, let the patriarch and the senate along with the empress direct the government and reap the benefits and honors from it. But if it should ever happen that some war arises, threatening danger to the emperor's children, then I myself will readily offer myself to the dangers, and I will either help preserve their rule or I will fall fighting on their behalf, so that for me there may be the toils and the facing of danger, and for you the reveling in affairs and the full enjoyment of them, with no one causing trouble,

204

προήχθης εἰς τοσοῦτον καὶ ὀργῆς καὶ λύπης. ἐγὼ δὲ μήτ' ἀκηκοέναι τοῦ ἀνθρώπου λέγοντος ὁμολογῶ, μήτ' εἰ καὶ συνέβαινε πυθέσθαι, προὔργου ποιήσασθαι κολάζειν τὸν εἰπόντα. οὐδὲ γὰρ αὐτὸς σὺ ἐλάττω δύναμιν ἔχεις ἢ ἐγὼ, κολάζειν τε τοὺς προσκρούοντας καὶ συγγνώμην παρέχειν, ἂν ἐθέλῃς. εἰ μὲν οὖν ἐκείνων ἕνεκα τῶν λόγων μόνον ἀγανακτεῖς, παρὰ σαυτοῦ μᾶλλον ἢ παρ' ἐμοῦ προσήκει λαμβάνειν δίκας. εἰ δὲ καί τινος ἑτέρου δέῃ, 2.28 ὅπερ ἄχρι νῦν ἄγνωστον ἐμοὶ, λέγειν θαῤῥοῦντα, ὡς παρ' ἐμοὶ δύσκολον ἐσόμενον μηδὲν, ὅπερ ἄν σοι κατὰ γνώμην ᾖ, εἰ μὴ πάντη τῶν ἀδυνατωτάτων εἴη.» τοιαῦτα μὲν ἡ βασιλὶς πρὸς τοὺς τοῦ μεγάλου δομεστίκου λόγους ἀπεκρίνατο. ὁ δ' ἔφασκεν, αὐτόν τε παντάπασιν ἠγνοηκέναι τὴν δύναμιν τῶν λόγων τῶν αὐτοῦ, καὶ βασιλίδα τὴν διάνοιαν τῶν γινομένων μάλιστα ὡς ποῤῥωτάτω ἔχειν. ἵνα δὲ αὐτός τε εἰδῇς καὶ βασιλίδι φράσῃς, ὡς δίκαια διανοοῦμαι, ὡς ἔχω περὶ τῶν πραγμάτων ἄκουσον. τὴν μὲν ἐμοῦ τε καὶ βασιλέως ἐκείνου πρὸς ἀλλήλους ἐκ παίδων ἀκροτάτην φιλίαν σύ τ' ἂν ἀγνοοίης, ὥσπερ εἰκὸς, καὶ ἡ βασιλὶς πρὸς τὴν οἰκείαν διατρίβουσα. ὅσα μέντοι γε πρὸς βασιλέα τὸν πάππον, πολέμου καὶ ἀρχομένου καὶ τελευτῶντος, ὅτε τῶν ἄλλων ἁπάντων πολλὰς καὶ παντοδαπὰς ὑποστάντων τὰς μεταβολὰς, πάντων ἀντιτεταγμένων, σχεδὸν εἰς ἐσχάτην ἀπορίαν συνηλάθη, αὐτῷ προθύμως συνηγωνισάμην, μήτε σώματος φειδόμενος, μήτε χρημάτων, μήτ' ἄλλου τῶν οἰκείων μηδενὸς, ἀλλ' ἐν τοῖς μάλιστα ἐπείγουσι τῶν καιρῶν καὶ δεομένοις γνησίων φίλων, πάντα ἐγινόμην αὐτῷ καὶ τῶν δεόντων ἐνέλιπον οὐδὲν, καὶ μετὰ τὸ τῶν πραγμάτων ἐγκρατῆ γενέσθαι, ὅσα τε πρὸς τοὺς ἔξωθεν πολεμίους, καὶ Ἕλληνας λέγω καὶ βαρβάρους, καὶ πρὸς τοὺς ἔνδον ἐπιβούλους, ὥσπερ ἄλλος ὢν αὐτὸς, καὶ συγκατειργαζόμην καὶ συνδιέφερον αὐτῷ τοὺς ὑπὲρ ἑαυτοῦ πόνους καὶ 2.29 κινδύνους, ἐῶ γὰρ λέγειν τὴν διοίκησιν τῶν πραγμάτων, ὡς αὐτὸς πάντα πόνον ὑφιστάμενος, ἄλυπον αὐτῷ καὶ ἄπονον ἐποίουν τὴν ἀρχὴν, πάντες μὲν ἂν εἰδεῖεν Ῥωμαῖοι, αὐτῶν σαφέστατα βοώντων τῶν πραγμάτων, καὶ συμμαρτυρήσαιεν ἐμοί· τῶν ἄλλων δὲ πάντων μάλιστα ἡ βασιλὶς, ὅσα μὴ μόνον ὑπὸ τῶν πραγμάτων, ἀλλὰ καὶ βασιλέως αὐτοῦ τὴν πρὸς ἀλλήλους ἡμῶν ὁμόνοιαν, τὴν πάντας, ὡς ἐγᾦμαι, καὶ τοὺς πάλαι καὶ τοὺς νῦν ὑπερελάσασαν ἐπὶ φιλίᾳ ὑμνουμένους, σαφῶς διδασκομένη. ἐφ' οἷς οὐκ ὠφελεῖσθαι μόνον παρ' ἑκατέρων συνέβαινεν ἡμῖν, ἀλλὰ καὶ τὸν ἄχρι νῦν χρόνον εὐκλεέστατα βιβιωκέναι. ἄτοπον οὖν, τὸν μὲν προτοῦ χρόνον ἅπαντα μηδέποτε μηδεμίαν ἀδοξίας πρόφασιν παρεσχηκέναι ἐμαυτῷ, νυνὶ δὲ ἑκοντὶ λοιδορίας ἄξια καὶ μέμψεως ποιεῖν. ἄν τε γὰρ ἀγνοήσας, οἷ κακῶν τὰ πράγματα χωρήσει, ἐμαυτῷ μὲν ἀδοξίας, τοῖς λοιποῖς δὲ Ῥωμαίοις φθορᾶς καὶ κινδύνων αἴτιος καταστῶ, οὐδεμίαν παραιτεῖσθαι δίκαιος συγγνώμην αὐτὸς παρ' ἐμαυτῷ κριτῇ. ἄν τε καὶ συνορῶν, ὥσπερ ἤδη καὶ ἐπίσταμαι σαφῶς, ἔπειτα καταμαλακιζοίμην δέει τοῦ μὴ δοκεῖν ἐν καιροῖς ἐπικινδύνοις τὴν ἀρχὴν μεθίεσθαι, οὐ λοιδορίας ἄξιος μόνον, ἀλλὰ καὶ δίκης τῆς ἐσχάτης, ὅτι, καίτοι προειδὼς, ὑπέμεινα ἑκὼν εἶναι κακὸς ὀφθῆναι καὶ μήτε καιροῖς, μήτε πράγμασιν ὡς δέον χρήσασθαι εἰδώς. οὗ δὲ ἕνεκα κινδύνων τε καὶ ἀδοξίας ἔγνων 2.30 ἀπαλλάττειν ἐμαυτόν. καίτοι γε οὐδὲ βασιλίδι τε καὶ τοῖς βασιλέως παισὶν ἐκ τῆς ἀδοξίας ταυτησὶ καὶ τῶν κινδύνων ὠφέλειάν τινα ἔξεστι πορίζειν. ἦν γὰρ ἂν τοῦτο παραμύθιον οὐ φαῦλον. ὡς ἂν δὲ μὴ δοκῶ τοὺς ὑπὲρ τῶν βασιλέως παίδων πόνους καὶ κινδύνους ἀποδιδράσκειν, νῦν μὲν ἐν τῆς εἰρήνης τοῖς καιροῖς, ὅτε μήτε πόλεμος οὐδεὶς, μήτε κακῶν προσδοκία μηδεμία, πατριάρχης τε καὶ σύγκλητος ἅμα βασιλίδι ἰθυνόντων τὴν ἀρχὴν καὶ τὰ ἐκ ταύτης ἀγαθὰ καὶ τὰς τιμὰς καρπούσθων. ἐὰν δέ ποτε συμβαίη πόλεμόν τινα ἀναφυῆναι, κίνδυνον ἀπειλοῦντα βασιλέως τοῖς παισὶ, τότ' αὐτὸς ἤδη προθύμως τοῖς κινδύνοις ἐμπαρέξω ἐμαυτὸν, καὶ ἢ συνδιασώσω τὴν ἀρχὴν αὐτοῖς ἢ ὑπὲρ αὐτῶν μαχούμενος πεσοῦμαι, ὡς ἂν ἐμοὶ μὲν οἱ πόνοι καὶ τὸ κινδυνεύειν, ὑμῖν δὲ τὸ ἐντρυφᾷν τοῖς πράγμασι καὶ αὐτῶν καταπολαύειν, μηδενὸς παρενοχλοῦντος,