20. What is this hopeless quagmire of error into which Thou hast plunged me? For I have learnt all this and have come to believe it; this faith is so ingrained into my mind that I have neither the power nor the wish to change it. Why this deception of an unhappy man, this ruin of a poor wretch in body and soul, by deluding him with falsehoods concerning Thyself? After the Red Sea had been divided, the splendour on the face of Moses, descending from the Mount, deceived me. He had gazed, in Thy presence, upon all the mysteries of heaven, and I believed his words, dictated by Thee, concerning Thyself. And David, the man that was found after Thine own heart, has betrayed me to destruction, and Solomon, who was thought worthy of the gift of Divine Wisdom, and Isaiah, who saw the Lord of Sabaoth and prophesied, and Jeremiah consecrated in the womb, before he was fashioned, to be the prophet of nations to be rooted out and planted in, and Ezekiel, the witness of the mystery of the Resurrection, and Daniel, the man beloved, who had knowledge of times, and all the hallowed band of the Prophets; and Matthew also, chosen to proclaim the whole mystery276 Reading et ad omne. of the Gospel, first a publican, then an Apostle, and John, the Lord’s familiar friend, and therefore worthy to reveal the deepest secrets of heaven, and blessed Simon, who after his confession of the mystery was set to be the foundation-stone of the Church, and received the keys of the kingdom of heaven, and all his companions who spoke by the Holy Ghost, and Paul, the chosen vessel, changed from persecutor into Apostle, who, as a living man abode under the deep sea277 Cf. 2 Cor. xi. 25. and ascended into the third heaven, who was in Paradise before his martyrdom, whose martyrdom was the perfect offering of a flawless faith; all have deceived me.
20. Eorum quibus credidit commendatio.---In quod me, oro, profundum desperati reditus mersisti? Haec enim ego ita didici, ita credidi, et ita confirmatae mentis fide teneo, ne aut possim credere aliter, aut velim. Quid me miserum de te fefellisti, et infelicem carnem atque animam alienae a te cognitionis doctrina perdidisti? Decepit me post rubri maris divisionem gloria descendentis de monte Moysi, et omnia 0172B tecum arcanorum coelestium secreta cernentis (Exodi XXXIV, 29). Huic ego de te verbis tuis credidi. Perdidit me repertus secundum cor tuum David (Act. XIII, 22), et dignus Salomon divinae sapientiae munere (III Reg. III, 12), et viso Domino Sabaoth Esaias praedicans (Esa. VI, 1), et ante conformationem santificatus in utero Jeremias eradicandarum et plantandarum gentium prophetes (Jerem. I, 5), et mysterii resurrectionis Ezechiel testis (Ezech. XXXVII), et vir desideriorum Daniel temporum conscius (Dan. IX, 23), et prophetarum consecratus chorus, et omne praedicationis evangelicae sacramentum, electus ex publicano Matthaeus in Apostolum, et ex familiaritate Domini revelatione coelestium mysteriorum dignus Joannes (Matth. XVI, 18), et post sacramenti confessionem 0172C beatus Simon 147 aedificationi Ecclesiae subjacens et claves regni coelestis accipiens, et reliqui omnes sancto Spiritu praedicantes, et ex persecutore apostolus vas electionis tuae Paulus (Act. IX, 15), in profundo maris vivens (II Cor. XI, 25), in coelo tertio homo (Ibid. XII, 2), in paradiso ante 0173A martyrium, in martyrio perfectae fidei consummata libatio (II Tim. IV, 6 et 7).