When I had made an end of this invective, so out of keeping with good taste, I began to do penance for my soliloquy and blushed furtively because I had so far forgotten my modesty as to invoke in words that part of my body which men of dignity do not even recognize. Then, rubbing my forehead for a long time, "Why have I committed an indiscretion in relieving my resentment by natural abuse," I mused, "what does it amount to? Are we not accustomed to swear at every member of the human body, the belly, throat, or even the head when it aches, as it often does? Did not Ulysses wrangle with his own heart? Do not the tragedians 'Damn their eyes' just as if they could hear?

"Gouty patients swear at their feet, rheumatics at their hands, blear-eyed people at their eyes, and do not those who often stub their toes blame their feet for all their pain?

"Why will our Catos with their frowning brows

Condemn a work of fresh simplicity'?

A cheerful kindness my pure speech endows;

What people do, I write, to my capacity.

For who knows not the pleasures Venus gives?

Who will not in a warm bed tease his members?

Great Epicurus taught a truth that lives;

Love and enjoy life! All the rest is embers.