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the experience of the worse, to put it briefly, if we were conscious of that just condemnation and were practicing better things, even having obtained pardon we would have been again in our former state. But now, as if we had done or suffered nothing terrible through ill counsel, or at least had not been taught at all by our suffering, we have been, as it were, deprived of thinking what is right, p. 2.313 to suffer self-inflicted pains, having chosen badly, and to be terribly wallowing through life in what is not fitting; and though we received equal worth from God and were deemed worthy of the same zeal, like a madman, we have fallen wretchedly from this, and have both suffered and honored inequality. For while it was necessary to pursue either the same course toward better things, or to strive to surpass one another, so that we might overcome each other in good things, we appear to be doing entirely the opposite, and a truly strange condition has befallen us, that just as it is possible to differ in the characteristics of form, so too it is in the states of the soul. And having lost that first and truly blessed happiness, it seemed right to us to turn to another, a many-branched one, in every way unstable and at odds with itself. And if anyone should not call this an utterly vain turmoil and a profitless confusion, I consider that man to belong not to the wise, not by nature for this, but because some evil choice has brought him to loss. And while many have had a good share in different ways of this so-called and reputed happiness—some from birth, as men are accustomed to honor, with arrogance and pleasure added thereto, another from wealth, another from reputation and much attendance, another from military command and a praiseworthy, orderly life, another from fine children and a distinguished clan of relatives and friends—all these 2.314 and the others, whatever things are deemed blessed by the many, I pass over, lest I seem to be unduly brightened by the utterance of such names; for someone might say that these have been supplied to me sufficiently enough, abundantly, and easily, as if flowing from God. And if it was fitting for any one of those now or of old to boast or be proud in any way of one of these aforementioned things, all would say that it was surely fitting for me to glory in all of these in every respect. And indeed there was for me a great confluence of happiness and of all kinds of prosperity, with no evil occurring day by day, as was praised by one of the ancient sages; but I observed, as if from some high viewpoint, these things being honored and pursued in vain and most easily dissolved, flowing around men as if from outside, with the unstable motion of some fortune and experiencing the fate of a balance-scale, of which one pan rises, being lightened, while the other is pulled down when a heavier weight is placed on it. And while of all other things I thought the change would be somewhat easy, as I might arrive at some from home, and by others perhaps not always be summoned, as is accustomed to happen; yet that which I was beforehand calling a clan of friends, I never thought would change with my fortunes, nor with the seasons of life, but just as I myself was not going to be separated from them in any way, so I supposed that they too would suffer nothing other than this. For the truth will be told: I considered it most difficult 2.315 for those to turn against me, whom I never ceased to benefit in all things. But if by these very men we have suffered rather incurable things and the most terrible, alas, we have been slandered and calumniated, what need is there even to speak? But it was necessary, then, it was necessary for all to have understood unerringly and for it to be foreseen, that nothing is lasting, nor stable. However, to our lord and king before us, my most divine and noble brother, who was long ago most greatly wronged and in danger—but these things must now be overlooked out of forbearance for the wrongdoers, except this, they being utterly astonishing—we, having attached ourselves to him and having considered everything of no account, choosing well to share danger with him and being hard-pressed by countless terrible things on his behalf, obeying the boundary of friendship and the laws of just obligation, have caused him to triumph gloriously over his wrongdoers, having found God merciful. And we were again in every way of life caring for his living and reigning and considering it of the greatest importance, as all know these things, and of us the
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τὴν τοῦ χείρονος πεῖραν, ἵνα συνελὼν εἴπω, εἰ τῆς ἐνδίκου καταδίκης ἐκείνης ἦμεν ἐν συναισθήσει καὶ τὰ βελτίω ἐμελετῶμεν, κἂν συγγνώμης τυχόντες αὖθις ἂν ἦμεν ἐν τοῖς προτέροις. νυνὶ δ' ὥσπερ μή τι χαλεπὸν πεπραχότες ἢ πεπονθότες ἐξ ἀβουλίας, ἢ γοῦν ὑπὸ τοῦ παθεῖν οὐμενοῦν διδαχθέντες, τὸ τὰ δέοντα φρονεῖν οἱονεὶ παρῃρήμεθα, πή 2.313 ματα πάσχειν αὐθαίρετα κακῶς αἱρεθέντες, καὶ δεινῶς ἐγκαλινδεῖσθαι διὰ βίου τοῖς μὴ καθήκουσι καὶ τῆς ἴσης ἀξίας πρὸς θεοῦ τυχόντες, καὶ τῆς αὐτῆς ἠξιωμένοι σπουδῆς, μεμηνότος δίκην, ταυτησὶ μὲν οἰκτρῶς ἐκπεπτώκαμεν, ἀνισότητα δὲ πεπόνθαμέν τε καὶ τετιμήκαμεν. δέον γὰρ σπουδάζειν ἢ τὸν αὐτὸν ἐπὶ τοῖς ἀμείνοσι δρόμον, ἢ φιλονεικεῖν ἄλλος ἄλλον ὑπερβαίνειν, ὅπως ἂν ἐπ' ἀγαθοῖς ἀλλήλους νικῴημεν τοὐναντίον ἅπαν φαινόμεθα πράττοντες, καὶ συμβέβηκεν ἡμῖν οἷόν τι πάθος ἀτεχνῶς ἄτοπον, ὅτι κατὰ τοὺς τῆς μορφῆς χαρακτῆρας ἔπεστι διενηνοχέναι, καὶ ταῖς τῆς ψυχῆς ἔξεστι. καὶ τὴν πρώτην ἐκείνην καὶ μακαριστὴν ὄντως εὐδαιμονίαν ἀποβαλοῦσιν ἡμῖν δέδοκτο δεῖν ἐφ' ἑτέραν πολυσχιδῆ τραπέσθαι, ἀβέβαιον πάντῃ καὶ καθ' ἑαυτὴν στασιάζουσαν. ἣν εἴ τις οὐ καλοίη τύρβην κομιδῆ ματαίαν καὶ θόρυβον ἀκερδῆ, τοῦτον ἐγὼ νομίζω τελεῖν οὐκ εἰς τοὺς εὖ φρονοῦντας, οὐ φύσεως εἰς τοῦτο, φαύλης δέ τινος αἱρέσεως ζημιωσάσης αὐτόν. πολλῶν δὲ ταύτης δὴ τῆς λεγομένης τε καὶ νομιζομένης εὐδαιμονίας διαφόρως εὐμοιρησάντων, καὶ τῷ μὲν ἀπὸ γένους οἷον τιμᾷν εἰώθασιν ἄνθρωποι, τὸ βρενθύεσθαί τε καὶ ἥδεσθαι προσυπάρχοντος, τῷ δ' ἀπὸ χρημάτων, τῷ δ' ἀπὸ δόξης καὶ θεραπείας ὅτι πολλῆς, ἑτέρῳ δ' ἀπὸ στρατηγίας βίου τε κατὰ κόσμον ἐπαινετοῦ, ἄλλῳ δ' ἀπ' εὐτεκνίας καὶ φατρίας λαμπρᾶς συγγενῶν καὶ φίλων, τούτων ἁπάντων 2.314 καὶ τῶν ἄλλων, ὅσα τοῖς πολλοῖς μακαρίζεται, παρίημι γὰρ τὸ δοκεῖν περαιτέρω τῇ τῶν τοιούτων ὀνομάτων προφορᾷ φαιδρύνεσθαι, λίαν ἱκανῶς ἐμοὶ πειραθῆναι καὶ δαψιλῶς εὐμαρῶς πως ἄν τις εἴποι κατὰ ῥοῦν θεόθεν κεχορήγηται. καὶ εἴ τῳ τῶν νῦν ἢ τῶν πάλαι ἑνὶ τῶν λεγομένων αὐχεῖν ὁπωσοῦν ἐχρῆν ἢ μέγα φρονεῖν, φαῖεν ἅπαντες ἂν ἐμοὶ χρῆναι τὸ τούτοις ἅπασι διὰ πάντων σεμνύνεσθαι ἀμέλει. καὶ ἦν μὲν ἐμοὶ πολλή τις εὐδαιμονίας σύῤῥοια καὶ ὄλβου παντοίου, μηδενὸς τυγχάνοντος κακοῦ καθ' ἧμαρ, ὥς τινι τῶν πάλαι σοφῶν ἐπῃνέθη· ἐθεώμην δ' ὥσπερ ἐξ ἀπόπτου τινὸς εἰκῆ ταῦτα τιμώμενά τε καὶ σπουδαζόμενα καὶ ῥᾷστα λυόμενα, ὡς ἔξωθεν ἀνθρώποις περιῤῥεόμενα, τύχης τινὸς ἀστάτῳ φορᾷ καὶ τὸ τῆς τρυτάνης πασχούσης, ἧς τῶν πλαστίγγων ἡ μὲν ἄνεισι κουφιζομένη, ἡ δ' αὖ καθέλκεται βαρυτέρας ἐπεντεθείσης ὁλκῆς. καὶ πάντων μὲν τῶν ἄλλων ᾤμην ῥᾳδίαν τινὰ τὴν μεταβολὴν, ὡς ἀπὸ μὲν τῶν ἀφιξόμενος οἴκοθεν, ὑπὸ δὲ τῶν ἴσως οὐκ ἀεὶ καλούμενος, οἷα συμβαίνειν εἴωθεν· ἣν δ' ἐφθακὼς ὠνόμασα φατρίαν φίλων, οὔποτ' ᾤμην τοῖς πράγμασι συμμεταβληθῆναι, μηδὲ τοῖς τοῦ βίου καιροῖς, ἀλλ' ὥσπερ οὐκ αὐτὸς ἔμελλον ἀμωσγέπως ἐκείνων ἀφέξεσθαι, οὕτως οὐδὲ σφᾶς ἄλλο παρὰ τοῦτο παθεῖν ὑπείληφα. εἰρήσεται γὰρ τἀληθές· παγχάλεπον ἐνόμισα 2.315 ἐκείνους κατ' ἐμοῦ γενέσθαι, οὓς εὖ ποιῶν οὐκ ἐπαυσάμην ἐν πᾶσιν. εἰ δὲ καὶ ὑπ' αὐτῶν τούτων μᾶλλον ἡμεῖς ἀνήκεστα ἐπεπόνθειμεν καὶ τὰ δεινότατα, φεῦ, σεσυκοφαντήμεθα καὶ διαβεβλήμεθα, τί χρὴ καὶ λέγειν; ἀλλ' ἐχρῆν, ἄρ' ἐχρῆν κατειληφέναι πάντας ἀπλανῶς καὶ ἐς προὖπτον κεῖσθαι, ὡς οὐδὲν μόνιμον, οὐδὲ βέβαιον. τῷ μέντοι πρὸ ἡμῶν δεσπότῃ τε καὶ βασιλεῖ τῷ θειοτάτῳ καὶ γενναίῳ μοι ἀδελφῷ πάλαι τὰ μέγιστ' ἀδικουμένῳ καὶ κινδυνεύοντι, παροπτέον δὲ τὰ νῦν φειδοῖ τῶν ἀδικούντων, πλὴν τούτου, πάνυ θαυμαστῶν ὄντων, προστεθέντες ἡμεῖς καὶ πάντα μὲν παρ' οὐδὲν θέμενοι, συγκινδυνεῦσαι δ' ἐκείνῳ καλῶς ἑλόμενοι καὶ μυρίοις ὑπὲρ ἐκείνου συμπιεσθέντες δεινοῖς, φιλίας ὅρῳ καὶ νόμοις δικαίου χρέους πειθόμενοι, περιγενέσθαι λαμπρῶς τῶν ἀδικούντων τουτονὶ πεποιήκαμεν θεοῦ, τυχόντες ἵλεω. καὶ ἦμεν αὖθις ἐν παντὶ βίῳ τοῦ ζῇν καὶ βασιλεύειν ἐκεῖνον κηδόμενοί τε καὶ περὶ πλείστου ποιούμενοι, ὡς ἴσασι ταῦτα πάντες, καὶ ἡμῶν τὸ