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Ad Julianum tributorum exaequatorem

ORATION 19.

On the discourses, and on Julian the Assessor.

1. What is this tyranny, by which we are always tyrannized out of love? What is my wisdom and knowledge, on account of which we are assailed at every festival? For I find none, though examining and guiding myself from every side. But this one thing I am conscious of in myself, 35.1045 and perhaps it is not a trivial thing, even if some call it simplicity. I wished at all times to be dead to the world, and to live the life hidden in Christ, and to become a great merchant, having purchased the pearl of great price with all that I have, and having given in exchange the things that flow and are swept away for those that are steadfast and heavenly; which is indeed the greatest and most secure of transactions for those who have understanding; but if not, at least to endure this: to yield the thrones to those who want them, and for myself to be a child and a disciple throughout my life, until with the fresh waters of the word I might wash away the briny ones. Let this, then, be the first point of my philosophy, or simplicity; and a second, which is also the greatest.

2. Since I was not able by speaking to restrain the speech of the many, and the impulse and eagerness that now possesses everyone, to teach and to speak the things of the Spirit without the Spirit; I have taken another path, as I persuade myself, a better and easier one, to instruct all to be quiet by the archetype of silence; if they think anything great of us, that they may respect our superiority; but if something small and of little worth, that they may show moderation as being of equal honor. This is the reason for my silence; this is the mystery of our endurance.

3. But what am I to do? Some from one side, some from another pull me apart and tear me to pieces, and they judge on behalf of my labors, demanding a discourse as some other inexorable debt, and they love me more than I love myself; and they are all wiser than me, knowing better than I a time for speech or for silence; and they say they will not let up, striking me with their reproaches, as one strikes a flint with iron, until from a small spark they kindle the torch of my discourse. And now some of them are even promising better things, and propose great prizes for my discourses; first, that they will benefit themselves, allowing God and us to bear fruit in the discourse; then, also all these, through the enrollment, my portion, if my father's portion is mine, my flock, whom I would greatly wrong, by not being eager to benefit them in every way. 35.1048 But the finest thing is that what they ought to have achieved for themselves with great effort through my discourses, this they contribute on behalf of the discourses themselves. Oh, the noble contention, in which they strive to conquer me! Oh, the praiseworthy contribution! See how great is the work of my silence; it has made the discourses themselves more desirable to you. See the fruit of my obscurity. Would that there might be as much benefit from my discourses as there has been from my silence.

4. Therefore, since this is your decision, and you have conquered the unconquerable, and have set up a trophy over my philosophy, come, let me say something to you, better than silence. I will speak, therefore, not something soft and effeminate, nor of that harmony most pleasing to the crowd (for I would not be repaying my lovers well by discoursing in this way), but something very manly and vigorous, by which you might perhaps become better, being carried over from the flesh to the spirit, and lifted up

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Ad Julianum tributorum exaequatorem

ΛΟΓΟΣ ΙΘʹ.

Εἰς τοὺς λόγους, καὶ εἰς τὸν ἐξισωτὴν Ἰουλιανόν.

Αʹ. Τίς ἡ τυραννὶς, ἣν ἐξ ἀγάπης ἀεὶ τυραννού μεθα; τίς ἡ ἐμὴ σοφία καὶ ἐπιστήμη, δι' ἣν καθ' ἑκάστην πανήγυριν πολεμούμεθα; Ἐγὼ μὲν γὰρ οὐδεμίαν εὑρίσκω, πανταχόθεν ἐμαυτὸν διεξάγων καὶ διευθύνων. Πλὴν ἕν γε τοῦτο ἐμαυτῷ συνεπίστα 35.1045 μαι, καὶ ἴσως οὐ φαῦλον, κἄν τινες εὐήθειαν ὀνομά ζωσιν. Ἐβουλήθην ἐν καιρῷ μὲν παντὶ νεκρωθῆναι τῷ βίῳ, καὶ ζῆσαι τὴν ἐν Χριστῷ κεκρυμμένην ζωὴν, καὶ γενέσθαι τις μεγαλέμπορος, πάντων ὧν ἔχω τὸν τίμιον ὠνησάμενος μαργαρίτην, καὶ ἀντι δοὺς τὰ ῥέοντα καὶ συρόμενα τῶν ἑστώτων καὶ οὐρανίων· ἥπερ δὴ πραγματειῶν μεγίστη καὶ βε βαιοτάτη τοῖς γε νοῦν ἔχουσιν· εἰ δ' οὒκ, ἀλλὰ τοῦτό γε καρτερῆσαι, παραχωρῆσαι τῶν θρόνων τοῖς βουλομένοις, αὐτὸς δὲ διὰ βίου παῖς εἶναι καὶ μαθητὴς, μέχρις ἂν τοῖς ποτίμοις τῶν λόγων τοὺς ἁλμυροὺς ἀποκλύσωμαι. Ἓν μὲν δὴ τοῦτο τῆς ἐμῆς ἔστω φιλοσοφίας, εἴτε εὐηθείας, καὶ πρῶτον· δεύτερον δὲ, ὃ καὶ μέγιστον.

Βʹ. Ἐπειδὴ λόγῳ τὸν τῶν πολλῶν λόγον ἐπισχεῖν οὐχ οἷός τε ἐγενόμην, καὶ τὴν νῦν κατέχουσαν πάν τας φορὰν καὶ προθυμίαν, εἰς τὸ διδάσκειν τε καὶ λαλεῖν τὰ τοῦ Πνεύματος χωρὶς Πνεύματος· ἑτέραν ἦλθον, ὡς ἐμαυτὸν πείθω, βελτίω τε καὶ ἀπονωτέραν ὁδὸν, παιδεῦσαι πρὸς ἡσυχίαν ἅπαντας τῷ ἀρχετύπῳ τῆς σιωπῆς· εἰ μέν τι μέγα περὶ ἡμῶν οἴονται, τὴν ὑπεροχὴν αἰδουμένους· εἰ δὲ μικρόν τε καὶ ὅσον ἄξιον, τῷ ὁμοτίμῳ συμμετριάζοντας. Οὗτος ὁ λόγος τῆς ἐμῆς σιωπῆς· τοῦτο τῆς καρτερίας ἡμῶν τὸ μυστήριον.

Γʹ. Ἀλλὰ τί πάθω; Ὁ μὲν ἔνθεν, ὁ δὲ ἔνθεν διέλκουσιν ἡμᾶς καὶ σπαράττουσι, καὶ ὑπὲρ τῶν ἐμῶν δικάζονται πόνων, ὥσπερ ἄλλο τι χρέος τὸν λόγον ἀπαραιτήτως εἰσπράττοντες, καὶ ἀγαπῶσι μᾶλλον ἢ αὐτὸς ἐμαυτόν· καὶ εἰσὶ πάντες ἐμοῦ σοφώτεροι, πλέον ἢ ἐγὼ γινώσκοντες καιρὸν λόγου ἢ σιωπῆς· καί φασιν οὐκ ἀνήσειν, ὥσπερ σιδήρῳ πυρῖτιν λίθον, παίοντες ἡμᾶς τοῖς ὀνείδεσιν, ἕως ἂν ἐκ μικροῦ σπινθῆρος τὸν τῶν λόγων πυρσὸν ἀνάψωσιν. Ἤδη δέ τινες αὐτῶν καὶ ὑπισχνοῦνται χρηστότερα, καὶ μεγάλα προτιθέασιν ἆθλα τοῖς λό γοις· πρῶτον μὲν ἑαυτοὺς εὐποιήσειν, δόντες τῷ Θεῷ καὶ ἡμῖν εἰς τὸν λόγον καρποφορῆσαι· ἔπειτα καὶ τούσδε πάντας, διὰ τῆς ἀπογραφῆς, τὸν ἐμὸν κλῆρον, εἴπερ ἐμὸς ὁ πατρικὸς, τὸ ἐμὸν ποίμνιον, οὓς λίαν ἀδικοίην, μὴ πάντα τρόπον εὐεργετεῖν προ 35.1048 θυμούμενος. Τὸ δὲ κάλλιστον, ὅτι, ὃ πολλὰ πονήσαν τας ἔδει κατορθῶσαι τοῖς λόγοις, τοῦτο ὑπὲρ τῶν λό γων αὐτῶν εἰσφέρουσιν. Ὢ τῆς καλῆς φιλονεικίας, ἣν ἐμὲ νικῆσαι φιλονεικοῦσιν! Ὢ τῆς ἐπαινετῆς ἐπι δόσεως! Ὁρᾶτε πηλίκον τὸ ἔργον τῆς ἐμῆς σιωπῆς· αὐτοὺς ὑμῖν πεποίηκε τοὺς λόγους ποθεινοτέρους. Ὁρᾶτε τὸν καρπὸν τῆς ἀδοξίας τῆς ἡμετέρας. Εἴθε τι γένοιτο καὶ τῶν λόγων τοσοῦτον ὄφελος, ὅσον τῆς σιωπῆς.

∆ʹ. Οὐκοῦν ἐπειδὴ ταῦτα δοκεῖ, καὶ νενικήκατε τὸν ἀήττητον, καὶ τρόπαιον ἐστήσατε κατὰ τῆς ἐμῆς φιλοσοφίας, φέρε τι φθέγξωμαι πρὸς ὑμᾶς, τῆς σιωπῆς ἄμεινον. Φθέγξομαι τοιγαροῦν, οὐ μα λακόν τι καὶ ἀναβεβλημένον, οὐδὲ τῆς ἡδίστης τοῖς πολλοῖς ἁρμονίας (οὐδὲ γὰρ ἂν καλῶς ἀμειβοίμην τοὺς ἐμοὺς ἐραστὰς, οὕτω διαλεγόμενος), ἀλλὰ καὶ λίαν ἀνδρικόν τε καὶ σύντονον, καὶ ᾧ τάχα ἂν ἀμείνους γένοισθε, ἀπὸ τῆς σαρκὸς ἐπὶ τὸ πνεῦμα μετενεχθέντες, καὶ ὑψωθέντες