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Ad Theodorum lapsum ii

Of the same, to Theodore the monk, who was considering leaving the monastery, marrying, and engaging in business.

1 If it were possible to show tears and groans through letters, with these also

I would have filled the letter to you and sent it; but I weep not because you are taking care of paternal affairs, but because you have erased yourself from the roll of the brothers, because you have trampled on the covenants with Christ. I shudder at these things, I grieve over these, for this reason I fear and tremble, and not without cause. For no one would ever bring a charge of desertion against a civilian, but if a man who has once become a soldier is caught deserting, the danger is for the utmost penalties. It is not a terrible thing, O friend Theodore, to fall while wrestling, but to remain in the fall; nor is it hard to be wounded while fighting, but after the blow to despair and neglect the wound. No merchant, having once been shipwrecked and lost his cargo, has given up sailing, but again he crosses the sea and the waves and the vast oceans and recovers his former wealth. Often we see athletes also after many falls become victors; and indeed a soldier who has often fled has in the end been shown to be a champion, and has prevailed over the enemy. And many even of those who denied Christ through the necessity of tortures have fought back their defeat again and departed having bound on the crown of martyrdom. But if each of these had despaired after the first blow, he would not have enjoyed the second blessings. Do not then, O friend, because the enemy has shaken you a little from your post, now also push yourself into the abyss, but stand nobly and return quickly whence you departed, nor consider this blow for a little while to be a disgrace. For you would not reproach a soldier whom you saw returning with a wound from battle, for the disgrace is to throw away one's weapons and get outside the enemy's reach, but as long as one stands fighting, even if he is struck or gives way for a short time, no one is so ungrateful, nor so inexperienced in warfare, as ever to bring an accusation. For it belongs to those who do not fight not to be wounded, but it is possible for those who advance with great spirit against the enemy both to be struck and to fall, as has now happened in your case. For in attempting to slay the serpent at once, you were bitten. But take courage, you have need of a little watchfulness and not even a trace of that wound will be left, but rather by the grace of God you will crush the very head of the evil one; and let it not trouble you that you were hindered so quickly and at the very beginning; for the evil one saw, he quickly saw the virtue of your soul, and he conjectured from many things that a noble adversary would grow up for him; for he expected that this man, who had immediately used such great and earnest zeal against him, would easily wrestle him down if he were to persevere. For this reason he was watchful, he hastened, he was raised up in full force against you, or rather against his own head if you are willing to stand nobly. For who did not marvel at your swift and sincere and fervent conversion to good things? For luxury in food was overlooked, expensive clothing was despised, all pride was trampled down, all zeal for worldly wisdom was at once transferred to the divine oracles; whole days were spent in readings, and whole nights in prayers; it was not worthy to remember paternal rank, nor to consider wealth; but to clasp the knees and run to the feet of the brothers, this you knew to be superior to all nobility. These things afflicted the evil one, these things roused him to a more violent battle; but he did not inflict a fatal blow. For if after a long time, after continuous fasts and sleeping on the ground and the other ascetic practices he had cast you down, not even then was it right to despair, though one might say the great

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Ad Theodorum lapsum ii

Τοῦ αὐτοῦ πρὸς Θεόδωρον μοναχόν, σκεπτόμενον ἐξελθεῖν τοῦ μοναστηρίου καὶ γαμῆσαι καὶ πραγματεύεσθαι.

1 Εἰ καὶ δάκρυα καὶ στεναγμοὺς ἦν διὰ γραμμάτων δηλοῦσθαι, καὶ τούτων ἄν

σοι τὴν ἐπιστολὴν ἐμπλήσας ἀπέστειλα· δακρύω δὲ ἐγὼ οὐχ ὅτι πραγμάτων φροντίζεις πατρῴων, ἀλλ' ὅτι τοῦ καταλόγου τῶν ἀδελφῶν σαυτὸν ἐξήλειψας, ὅτι τὰς πρὸς τὸν Χριστὸν συνθήκας κατεπάτησας. Ταῦτα φρίττω, ἐπὶ τούτοις ἀλγῶ, διὰ τοῦτο φοβοῦμαι καὶ τρέμω, καὶ οὐκ ἀδίκως. Ἰδιώτην μὲν γὰρ οὐδεὶς λειποστρατίας ἄν ποτε γράψαιτο, ὁ δὲ στρατιώτης ἅπαξ γενόμενος ἐὰν ἁλῷ λιποτακτήσας περὶ τῶν ἐσχάτων ὁ κίνδυνος· Οὐ δεινόν, ὦ φίλε Θεόδωρε, τὸ παλαίοντα πεσεῖν ἀλλὰ τὸ μεῖναι ἐν τῷ πτώματι· οὐδὲ χαλεπὸν τὸ πολεμοῦντα τρωθῆναι, ἀλλὰ τὸ μετὰ τὴν πληγὴν ἀπογνόντα καταμελῆσαι τοῦ τραύματος. Οὐδεὶς ἔμπορος ἅπαξ ναυαγίῳ περιπεσὼν καὶ τὸν φόρτον ἀπολέσας, ἀπέστη τοῦ πλεῖν, ἀλλὰ πάλιν τὴν θάλασσαν καὶ τὰ κύματα καὶ τὰ μακρὰ διαπερᾷ πελάγη καὶ τὸν πρότερον ἀνακτᾶται πλοῦτον. Πολλάκις καὶ ἀθλητὰς θεωροῦμεν μετὰ πολλὰ πτώματα στεφανίτας γινομένους· ἤδη δὲ καὶ στρατιώτης πολλάκις φυγὼν ἔσχατον ἀριστεὺς ἀπεδείχθη, καὶ τῶν πολεμίων ἐπεκράτησεν. Πολλοὶ δὲ καὶ τῶν τὸν Χριστὸν ἀρνησαμένων διὰ τὴν τῶν βασάνων ἀνάγκην ἀνεμαχέσαντο τὴν ἧτταν πάλιν καὶ τὸν τοῦ μαρτυρίου στέφανον ἀπῆλθον ἀναδησάμενοι. Εἰ δὲ τούτων ἕκαστος ἐκ τῆς προτέρας πληγῆς ἀπέγνω, οὐκ ἂν τῶν δευτέρων ἀπήλαυσεν ἀγαθῶν. Μὴ οὐ τοίνυν, ὦ φίλε, διότι μικρόν σε τῆς στάσεως παρεσάλευσεν ὁ ἐχθρός, ἤδη καὶ σαυτὸν ὤσῃς ἐπὶ τὸ βάραθρον, ἀλλὰ στῆθι γενναίως καὶ ἐπάνελθε ταχέως ὅθεν ἐξέβης, μηδ' ὄνειδος νομίσῃς τὴν πρὸς ὀλίγον εἶναι ταύτην πληγήν. Οὐδὲ γὰρ στρατιώτην ἰδὼν ἐπανήκοντα μετὰ τραύματος ἀπὸ πολέμου ὠνείδισας ἄν, ὄνειδος γὰρ τὸ ὅπλα ῥῖψαι καὶ τῶν πολεμίων ἔξω γενέσθαι, ἕως δὲ ἂν ἑστήκῃ τις μαχόμενος, κἂν βάλληται κἂν ὑποχωρῇ πρὸς βραχύ, οὐδεὶς οὕτως ἀγνώμων, οὐδὲ πρὸς τὴν πολεμικὴν ἄπειρος, ὡς ἐγκαλέσαι ποτέ. Τῶν γὰρ μὴ μαχομένων ἐστὶν τὸ μὴ τιτρώσκεσθαι, τοὺς δὲ πολλῷ τῷ θυμῷ κατὰ τῶν πολεμίων χωροῦντας ἔστιν καὶ βληθῆναι καὶ καταπεσεῖν, οἷον καὶ ἐπὶ σοῦ γέγονεν νῦν. Ἀθρόως γὰρ τὸν ὄφιν ἀνελεῖν ἐπιχειρήσας ἐδήχθης. Ἀλλὰ θάρσει, μικρᾶς σοι χρεία νήψεως καὶ οὐδὲ ἴχνος ὑπολειφθήσεται τοῦ τραύματος ἐκείνου, μᾶλλον δὲ θεοῦ χάριτι καὶ αὐτὴν τοῦ πονηροῦ συντρίψεις τὴν κεφαλήν· μηδέ σε ταραττέτω τὸ ταχέως καὶ παρ' αὐτὴν ἐμποδισθῆναι τὴν ἀρχήν· εἶδεν γάρ, εἶδεν ὀξέως ὁ πονηρὸς τῆς σῆς ψυχῆς τὴν ἀρετήν, καὶ γενναῖον αὐτῷ πολέμιον αὐξηθήσεσθαι ἐκ πολλῶν ἐστοχάσατο· τὸν γὰρ εὐθέως τοσαύτῃ καὶ τηλικαύτῃ χρησάμενον κατ' αὐτοῦ τῇ σπουδῇ τοῦτον, εἰ παραμένοι, ῥᾳδίως αὐτὸν καταπαλαίσειν ἤλπισεν. ∆ιὰ τοῦτο ἐγρηγόρησεν, ἔσπευσεν, ἠγέρθη πολὺς κατὰ σοῦ, μᾶλλον δὲ κατὰ τῆς ἑαυτοῦ κεφαλῆς ἂν ἐθελήσῃς στῆναι γενναίως. Τίς γὰρ σοῦ τὴν ὀξεῖαν καὶ εἰλικρινῆ καὶ ζέουσαν ἐπὶ τὰ ἀγαθὰ μετάθεσιν οὐκ ἐθαύμασεν; Ἐδεσμάτων μὲν γὰρ τρυφὴ παρεωρᾶτο, πολυτέλης δὲ ἔσθησις κατεπεφρόνητο, πᾶς τῦφος κατεπεπάτητο, πᾶσα ἡ περὶ τὴν ἔξωθεν σοφίαν σπουδὴ ἀθρόως ἐπὶ τὰ θεῖα μετενήνεκτο λόγια· ὅλαι μὲν εἰς ἀναγνώσεις ἡμέραι, ὅλαι δὲ εἰς εὐχὰς ἀνηλίσκοντο νύκτες· οὐκ ἀξίας ἦν μνησθῆναι πατρικῆς, οὐ πλοῦτον ἐν νῷ λαβεῖν· τὸ δὲ γονάτων ἅψασθαι καὶ ποσὶν προσδραμεῖν ἀδελφῶν τοῦτο πάσης εὐγενείας ἀνώτερον ᾔδεις. Ταῦτα ἔθλιβεν τὸν πονηρόν, ταῦτα εἰς μάχην ἐξήγειρεν σφοδροτέραν· ἀλλ' οὐ καιρίαν ἔδωκε τὴν πληγήν. Εἰ μὲν γὰρ μετὰ χρόνον πολύν, μετὰ νηστείας τε συνεχεῖς καὶ τὴν χαμευνίαν καὶ τὴν ἄλλην ἄσκησιν κατέβαλεν, ἦν μὲν οὐδὲ τότε ἀπογνῶναι, πλὴν ἄν τις πολλὴν ἔφη τὴν