THE SISTERS' LAMENT FOR THEIR ABBESS
Now my mind was becoming unnerved in two ways, from the sight that met my gaze, and the sad wailing of the virgins that sounded in my ears. So far they had remained [986D] quiet and suppressed their grief, restraining their impulse to mourn for fear of her, as if they dreaded her rebuke even when her voice was silent, lest in any way a sound should break forth from them contrary to her command and their mistress be grieved in consequence. But when they could no longer subdue their anguish in silence, and grief like some inward fire was smouldering in their hearts, all at once a bitter and irrepressible cry broke out; so that my reason no longer remained calm, but a flood of emotion, like a watercourse in spate, swept it away, and so, neglecting my duties, I gave myself up to lamentation. Indeed, the cause for the maidens' weeping seemed to me just and [988A] reasonable. For they were not bewailing the loss of human companionship and guidance, nor any other such thing as men grieve over when disaster comes. But it seemed as if they had been torn away from their hope in God and the salvation of their souls, and so they cried and bewailed in this manner----
"The light of our eyes has gone out,
The light that guided our souls has been taken away.
The safety of our life is destroyed,
The seal of immortality is removed,
The bond of restraint has been taken away,
The support of the weak has been broken,
The healing of the sick removed.
In thy presence the night became to us as day,
Illumined with pure life,
But now even our day will be turned to gloom."
Saddest of all in their grief were those who [988B] called on her as mother and nurse. These were they whom she picked up, exposed by the roadside in the time of famine. She had nursed and reared them, and led them to the pure and stainless life.
But when, as it were from the sleep, I recovered my thoughts, I looked towards that holy face and it seemed as if it rebuked me for the confusion of the noisy mourners. So I called to the sisters with a loud voice----
"Look at her, and remember her commands, by which she trained you to be orderly and decent in everything. One occasion for tears did this divine soul ordain for us, recommending us to weep at the time of prayer. Which now we may do, by turning the lamentations into psalmody in the same strain."
Ἐμοὶ δὲ διχόθεν ἐγίνετο πάρετος ἡ ψυχὴ καὶ οἷς τὸ φαινόμενον ἔβλεπον καὶ οἷς τὴν ἀκοὴν διὰ τῆς γοερᾶς τῶν παρθένων οἰμωγῆς περιηχούμην. Τέως μὲν γὰρ ἐν ἡσυχίᾳ διεκαρτέρουν ἐκεῖναι, τῇ ψυχῇ τὴν ὀδύνην ἐγκατακλείουσαι, καὶ τὴν τῆς οἰμωγῆς ὁρμὴν τῷ πρὸς αὐτὴν φόβῳ κατέπνιγον, ὥσπερ δεδοικυῖαι καὶ σιωπῶντος ἤδη τοῦ προσώπου τὴν ἐπιτίμησιν, μή που παρὰ τὸ διατεταγμένον αὐταῖς φωνῆς τινος παρ' αὐτῶν ἐκραγείσης λυπηθείη πρὸς τὸ γινόμενον ἡ διδάσκαλος. Καὶ οἱονεὶ πυρός τινος ἔνδοθεν αὐτῶν τὰς ψυχὰς διασμύχοντος, ἐπεὶ οὐκέτι κατακρατεῖσθαι δι' ἡσυχίας τὸ πάθος ἠδύνατο, ἀθρόως πικρός τις καὶ ἄσχετος ἀναρρήγνυται ἦχος, ὥστε μοι μηκέτι μένειν ἐν τῷ καθεστηκότι τὸν λογισμόν, ἀλλὰ καθάπερ χειμάρρου τινὸς ἐπικλύσαντος ὑποβρύχιον παρενεχθῆναι τῷ πάθει καὶ τῶν ἐν χερσὶν ἀμελήσαντα ὅλον τῶν θρήνων εἶναι. Καί μοι δικαία πως ἐδόκει καὶ εὔλογος ἡ τοῦ πάθους ἀφορμὴ ταῖς παρθένοις εἶναι. Οὐ γὰρ συνηθείας τινὸς ἢ τῆς κατὰ σάρκα κηδεμονίας τὴν στέρησιν ἀπωδύροντο οὐδ' ἄλλο τι τοιοῦτον οὐδέν, ἐφ' ᾧ πρὸς τὰς συμφορὰς δυσανασχετοῦσιν οἱ ἄνθρωποι, ἀλλ' ὡς τῆς κατὰ θεὸν ἐλπίδος αὐτῆς καὶ τῆς τῶν ψυχῶν σωτηρίας ἀποσχισθεῖσαι ταῦτα ἐβόων καὶ ταῦτα ἐν τοῖς θρήνοις ἀπωλοφύροντο. «Ἐσβέσθη, λέγουσαι, τῶν ὀφθαλμῶν ἡμῶν ὁ λύχνος: ἀπήρθη τὸ φῶς τῆς τῶν ψυχῶν ὁδηγίας: διελύθη τῆς ζωῆς ἡμῶν ἡ ἀσφάλεια: ἤρθη ἡ σφραγὶς τῆς ἀφθαρσίας: διεσπάσθη ὁ σύνδεσμος τῆς ὁμοφροσύνης, συνετρίβη τὸ στήριγμα τῶν ἀτονούντων, ἀφῃρέθη ἡ θεραπεία τῶν ἀσθενούντων. Ἐπὶ σοῦ ἡμῖν καὶ ἡ νὺξ ἀντὶ ἡμέρας ἦν καθαρᾷ ζωῇ φωτιζομένη: νῦν δὲ καὶ ἡ ἡμέρα πρὸς ζόφον μεταστραφήσεται». Χαλεπώτερον δὲ παρὰ τὰς ἄλλας τὸ πάθος ἐξέκαιον αἱ μητέρα αὐτὴν καὶ τροφὸν ἀνακαλοῦσαι. Ἦσαν δὲ αὗται, ἃς ἐν τῷ τῆς σιτοδείας καιρῷ κατὰ τὰς ὁδοὺς ἐρριμμένας ἀνελομένη ἐτιθηνήσατό τε καὶ ἀνεθρέψατο καὶ πρὸς τὸν καθαρόν τε καὶ ἄφθορον βίον ἐχειραγώγησεν.
Ἐπεὶ δέ πως καθάπερ ἐκ βυθοῦ τινος τὴν ἐμαυτοῦ ψυχὴν ἀνελεξάμην πρὸς τὴν ἁγίαν ἐκείνην κεφαλὴν ἀτενίσας, ὥσπερ ἐπιτιμηθεὶς ἐπὶ τῇ ἀταξίᾳ τῶν ἐπιθορυβούντων διὰ τοῦ θρήνου: «Πρὸς ταύτην βλέψατε, εἶπον μεγάλῃ τῇ φωνῇ πρὸς τὰς παρθένους βοήσας, καὶ τῶν παραγγελμάτων αὐτῆς ἀναμνήσθητε, δι' ὧν τὸ ἐν παντὶ τεταγμένον καὶ εὔσχημον παρ' αὐτῆς ἐπαιδεύθητε. Ἕνα καιρὸν δακρύων ὑμῖν ἡ θεία ψυχὴ αὕτη ἐνομοθέτησεν ἐν τῷ τῆς προσευχῆς καιρῷ τοῦτο πράττειν παρεγγυήσασα: ὃ καὶ νῦν ποιεῖν ἔξεστι, τῆς τῶν θρήνων οἰμωγῆς εἰς συμπαθῆ ψαλμῳδίαν μετατεθείσης.»