14. And not without just cause a doubt is raised, whether he said this of all married women, or of such as so many are, as that nearly all may be thought so to be. For neither doth that, which he saith of unmarried women, “She, that is unmarried, thinkest of the things of the Lord, to be holy both in body and spirit:”40    1 Cor. vii. 34 pertain unto all unmarried women: whereas there are certain widows who are dead, who live in delights. However, so far as regards a certain distinction and, as it were, character of their own, of the unmarried and married; as she deserves the excess of hatred, who containing from marriage,41    1 Tim. v. 6 that is, from a thing allowed, does not contain from offenses, either of luxury, or pride, or curiosity and prating; so the married woman is seldom met with, who, in the very obedience of married life, hath no thought save how to please God, by adorning herself, not with plaited hair, or gold and pearls and costly attire,42    1 Tim. ii. 9, 10 but as becometh women making profession of piety, through a good conversation. Such marriages, forsooth, the Apostle Peter also describes by giving commandment. “In like manner,” saith he, “wives obeying their own husbands; in order that, even if any obey not the word, they may be gained without discourse through the conversation of the wives, seeing your fear and chaste conversation: that they be not they that are adorned without with crispings of hair, or clothed with gold or with fair raiment; but that hidden man of your heart, in that unbroken continuance of a quiet and modest spirit, which before the Lord also is rich. For thus certain holy women, who hoped in the Lord, used to adorn themselves, obeying their own husbands: as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord: whose daughters ye are become, when ye do well, and fear not with any vain fear. Husbands in like manner living at peace and in chastity with your wives, both give ye honor as to the weaker and subject vessel, as with co-heirs of grace, and see that your prayers be not hindered.”43    1 Peter iii. 1–7 Is it indeed that such marriages have no thought of the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord? But they are very rare: who denies this? And, being, as they are, rare, nearly all the persons who are such, were not joined together in order to be such, but being already joined together became such.

CAPUT XII.

14. Nuptas non cogitantes nisi quomodo placeant Deo perraras esse. Quod utrum de omnibus nuptis dixerit, an de talibus quales ita multae sunt, ut pene omnes putari possint, non immerito dubitatur. Neque enim et illud quod de innuptis ait, Quae innupta est, cogitat ea quae sunt Domini, ut sit sancta et corpore et spiritu, ad omnes innuptas pertinet; cum sint quaedam viduae mortuae, quae in deliciis vivunt (I Tim. V, 6). Verumtamen quod attinet ad quamdam distinctionem et quasi proprietatem innuptarum atque nuptarum; sicut nimium detestanda est, quae continens a nuptiis, id est a re concessa, non continet a delictis, vel luxuriae, vel superbiae, vel curiositatis et verbositatis: ita rara nupta est, quae in ipso quoque obsequio conjugali non cogitat nisi quomodo placeat Deo, ornando se, non intortis crinibus, aut auro et margaritis et veste pretiosa, sed quod decet mulieres promittentes pietatem per bonam conversationem (Id. II, 9 et 10). Talia quippe conjugia Petrus quoque apostolus praecipiendo describit: Similiter, inquit, mulieres obaudientes maritis suis; ut et si qui non credunt verbo, per mulierum conversationem sine loquela lucrifieri possint, videntes timorem et castam conversationem vestram: ut sint non quae a foris ornantur capillorum incrispationibus, aut circumdatae auro, aut veste decora; sed ille absconditus cordis vestri homo in illa perpetuitate quieti et modesti spiritus, qui et apud Dominum locuples est. Nam sic quaedam sanctae mulieres quae in Dominum sperabant, ornabant se, obsequentes viris suis; quomodo Sara obaudiebat Abrahae, dominum illum vocans; cujus factae estis filiae benefacientes, et non timentes ullum vanum timorem. Viri simili ratione concordes et caste viventes cum uxoribus vestris, et tanquam vasi infirmiori et subjecto tribuite honorem, quasi cohaeredibus gratiae, et videte ne impediantur orationes vestrae (I Petr. III, 1-7). Itane vero conjugia talia non cogitant ea quae sunt Domini, quomodo placeant Domino? Sed perrara sunt. Quis negat? et in ipsa raritate pene omnes qui tales sunt, non ut tales essent conjuncti sunt, sed jam conjuncti tales facti sunt.