77.  Such and so great is the object of our longing zeal, and such a man should he be, who prepares and conducts souls to their espousals.  For myself, I feared to be cast, bound hand and foot,238    S. Matt. xxii. 13. from the bride-chamber, for not having on a wedding-garment, and for having rashly intruded among those who there sit at meat.  And yet I had been invited from my youth, if I may speak of what most men know not, and had been cast upon Him from the womb,239    Ps. xxii. 11. and presented by the promise of my mother, afterwards confirmed in the hour of danger:  and my longing grew up with it, and my reason agreed to it, and I gave as an offering my all to Him Who had won me and saved me, my property, my fame, my health, my very words, from which I only gained the advantage of being able to despise them, and of having something in comparison of which I preferred Christ.  And the words of God were made sweet as honeycombs240    Ib. xix. 10; cxix. 103. to me, and I cried after knowledge and lifted up my voice for wisdom.241    Prov. ii. 3.  There was moreover the moderation of anger, the curbing of the tongue, the restraint of the eyes, the discipline of the belly, and the trampling under foot of the glory which clings to the earth.  I speak foolishly,242    2 Cor. xi. 23. but it shall be said, in these pursuits I was perhaps not inferior to many.

ΟΖʹ. Τοσοῦτον μὲν δὴ καὶ τοιοῦτον ἡμῖν τὸ ποθούμενον καὶ σπουδαζόμενον: τοιοῦτον δὲ εἶναι χρὴ τὸν νυμφαγωγὸν τῶν ψυχῶν καὶ προμνήστορα. Ἔμοιγε μὴν δέος, μὴ καὶ τοῦ νυμφῶνος ἔξω ῥιφῶ δεθεὶς χεῖρας καὶ πόδας, ὡς οὐκ ἐνδεδυμένος ἔνδυμα γάμου, ἀλλὰ τολμηρῶς παρενείρας ἐμαυτὸν τοῖς ἐκεῖσε ἀνακειμένοις: καίτοι προσεκλήθην μὲν ἐκ νεότητος, ἵν' εἴπω τι τῶν τοῖς πολλοῖς ἀγνοουμένων, καὶ ἐπ' αὐτὸν ἐπεῤῥίφην ἐκ μήτρας, καὶ ἐδόθην δοτὸς ἐκ μητρικῆς ὑποσχέσεως, καὶ μετὰ τοῦτο τοῖς κινδύνοις ἐβεβαιώθην: καὶ ὁ πόθος συνηυξήθη, καὶ ὁ λογισμὸς συνέδραμε, καὶ πάντα ἔδωκα φέρων τῷ λαχόντι καὶ σώσαντι, κτῆσιν, περιφάνειαν, εὐεξίαν, τοὺς λόγους αὐτοὺς, ὧν τοῦτο ἀπήλαυσα μόνον, τὸ παριδεῖν καὶ ἐσχηκέναι ὧν Χριστὸν προετίμησα. Καὶ ἡδύνθη μοι τὰ τοῦ Θεοῦ λόγια, ὡς κηρία μέλιτος: καὶ τὴν σύνεσιν ἐπεκαλεσάμην, καὶ τῇ σοφίᾳ ἔδωκα φωνήν μου. Καὶ τἄλλα δὴ ταῦτα, οἷον θυμὸν μετρῆσαι, καὶ γλῶσσαν χαλινῶσαι, καὶ ὀφθαλμὸν σωφρονίσαι, καὶ γαστέρα παιδαγωγῆσαι, καὶ δόξαν πατῆσαι τὴν κάτω μένουσαν. Παραφρονῶν λέγω, ἀλλ' οὖν εἰρήσεται: ταῦτα μὲν οὐ τῶν πολλῶν ἴσως ἐγενόμην φαυλότερος.