Ep. VII.

I have had enough to blush for in you; that I was grieved, it is hardly necessary to say to him who of all men knows me best.  But, not to speak of my own feelings, or of the distress with which the rumour about you filled me (and let me say also the fear), I should have liked you, had it been possible, to have heard what was said by others, both relations and outsiders, who are any way acquainted with us (Christians I mean, of course,) about you and me; and not only some of them, but everyone in turn alike; for men are always more ready to philosophize about strangers than about their own relations.  Such speeches as the following have become a sort of exercise among them:  Now a Bishop’s son takes service in the army; now he covets exterior power and fame; now he is a slave of money, when the fire is being rekindled for all, and men are running the race for life; and he does not deem the one only glory and safety and wealth to be to stand nobly against the times, and to place himself as far as possible out of reach of every abomination and defilement.  How then can the Bishop exhort others not to be carried along with the times, or to be mixed up with idols?  How can he rebuke those who do wrong in other ways, seeing his own home takes away his right to speak freely?  We have every day to hear this, and even more severe things, some of the speakers perhaps saying them from a motive of friendship, and others with unfriendly feelings.  How do you think we feel, and what is the state of mind with which we, men professing to serve God, and to deem the only good to be to look forward to the hopes of the future, hear such things as these?  Our venerable Father is very much distressed by all that he hears, which even disgusts him with life.  I console and comfort him as best I can, by making myself surety for your mind, and assuring him that you will not continue thus to grieve us.  But if our dear Mother were to hear about you (so far we have kept her in the dark by various devices), I think she would be altogether inconsolable; being, as a woman, of a weak mind, and besides unable, through her great piety, to control her feelings on such matters.  If then you care at all for yourself and us, try some better and safer course.  Our means are certainly enough for an independent life, at least for a man of moderate desires, who is not insatiable in his lust for more.  Moreover, I do not see what occasion for your settling down we are to wait for, if we let this one pass.  But if you cling to the same opinion, and every thing seems to you of small account in comparison with your own desires, I do not wish to say anything else that may vex you, but this I foretell and protest, that one of two things must happen; either you, remaining a genuine Christian, will be ranked among the lowest, and will be in a position unworthy of yourself and your hopes; or in grasping at honours you will injure yourself in what is more important, and will have a share in the smoke, if not actually in the fire.

[7] ΚΑΙΣΑΡΙΩΙ

Ἱκανῶς ἠρυθριάσαμεν ἐπὶ σοί: τὸ γὰρ ὅτι καὶ ἐλυπήθημεν, τί χρὴ γράφειν τῷ γε πάντων μάλιστα πεπεισμένῳ; Ἵνα γὰρ μὴ τὰ ἡμέτερα λέγωμεν, μηδὲ ὅσης ἀθυμίας ἐνέπλησεν ἡμᾶς ἡ περὶ σὲ φήμη, δὸς δὲ εἰπεῖν καὶ δέους, ἐβουλόμην, εἴ πως οἷόν τε ἦν, παρεῖναί σε τοῖς τῶν ἄλλων λόγοις, οἰκείων τε ὁμοίως καὶ ξένων, τῶν ὁπωσοῦν γνωρίμων ἡμῖν, ἀλλ' οὖν Χριστιανῶν, οὓς περὶ σοῦ τε καὶ ἡμῶν λέγουσιν, οὐχ ὁ μέν, ὁ δ' οὔ, ἀλλὰ πάντες ἑξῆς ὁμοίως, ἐπειδὴ καὶ προθυμότερον ἐν τοῖς ἀλλοτρίοις ἢ τοῖς οἰκείοις φιλοσοφοῦσιν ἄνθρωποι. Ὥσπερ γὰρ ἄλλη τις μελέτη γέγονεν αὑτοῖς ταῦτα τὰ ῥήματα. Νῦν μὲν υἱὸν ἑπισκόπου στρατεύεσθαι, νῦν δὲ ὀρέγεσθαι τῆς ἔξωθεν δυναστείας καὶ δόξης, νῦν δὲ ἡττᾶσθαι χρημάτων (ὁπότε κοινὸν ἀνῆπται πῦρ καὶ τὸν περὶ ψυχῆς δρόμον τρέχουσιν ἄνθρωποι): ἀλλ' οὐχὶ μίαν ἡγεῖσθαι καὶ δόξαν καὶ ἀσφάλειαν καὶ εὐπορίαν τὸ γενναίως ἵστασθαι πρὸς τὸν καιρὸν καὶ ὅτι πορρωτάτω ποιεῖν ἑαυτὸν παντὸς ἅγους τε καὶ μιάσματος. Πῶς δ' ἂν ἄλλον νουθετήσειεν ὁ ἐπίσκοπος μὴ παρασυρῆναι τῷ καιρῷ μηδὲ τοῖς εἰδώλοις συναναφύρεσθαι; Πῶς δ' ἂν τοῖς ἄλλο τι πλημμελοῦσιν ἐπιτιμήσειεν, αὐτὸς ἐφ' ἑστίας παρρησίαν οὐκ ἔχων; Ταῦτα καθ' ἑκάστην ἀκούοντες ἡμᾶς τὴν ἡμέραν καὶ ἔτι πλείω τούτων καὶ χαλεπώτερα, τῶν μὲν διὰ φιλίαν λεγόντων ἴσως, τῶν δὲ καὶ διὰ δυσμένειαν ἐπιτιθεμένων, πῶς οἴει διακεῖσθαι καὶ τίνας ἔχειν ψυχὰς ἀνθρώπους τῷ Θεῷ προθεμένους δουλεύειν καὶ πρὸς τὰς μελλούσας ὁρᾶν ἐλπίδας μόνον ἀγαθὸν κρίνοντας; Τὸν μὲν οὖν κύριον τὸν πατέρα ἡμῶν πάνυ δυσφοροῦντα πρὸς τὴν ἀκοὴν καὶ πρὸς τὸν βίον αὐτὸν ἀπαγορεύοντα, ὁπωσοῦν αὐτὸς παραμυθοῦμαι καὶ ψυχαγωγῶ τὴν σὴν ἐγγυώμενος γνώμην καὶ πείθων ὅτι οὐχ ὑπομενεῖς ἔτι πλεῖον λυπεῖν ἡμᾶς. Τὴν δὲ κυρίαν τὴν μητέρα, εἰ πύθοιτό τι τῶν κατὰ σὲ (μέχρι γὰρ τοῦ νῦν τέως ἀπεκρυψάμεθα πολλαῖς ἐπινοίαις), οἴου καὶ παντελῶς ἀπαραμύθητον ἕξειν τὸ πάθος, ὡς γυναῖκά τε οὖσαν μικρόψυχον καὶ ἄλλως διὰ τὸ λίαν εὐλαβὲς περὶ τὰ τοιαῦτα μετριάζειν οὐ δυναμένην. Εἰ μὲν οὖν τινα καὶ σεαυτοῦ καὶ ἡμῶν ποιῇ λόγον, βούλευσαί τι βέλτιον καὶ ἀσφαλέστερον. Πάντως γὰρ καὶ τὰ ἐνταῦθα πρὸς ἐλευθέριον διαγωγὴν αὐτάρκη, τῷ γε μὴ λίαν ἀπλήστῳ μηδ' ἀμέτρῳ περὶ τὴν ἐπιθυμίαν τοῦ πλείονος ἀλλὰ καὶ τοῦ καταστάσεώς σε τυχεῖν οὐχ ὁρῶ τίνα καιρὸν ἀναμενοῦμεν, τὸν νῦν ἐάσαντες. Εἰ δὲ τῆς αὐτῆς ἔχῃ γνώμης καὶ μικρὰ πάντα σοι πρὸς τὴν ἰδίαν ὁρμήν, ἄλλο μὲν εἰπεῖν οὐδὲν βούλομαι δυσχερές: τοσοῦτον δὲ προλέγω καὶ διαμαρτύρομαι, ὅτι δυοῖν ἀνάγκη θάτερον, ἢ γνήσιον μένοντα Χριστιανὸν τὴν ἀτιμοτάτην αὐτοῦ τετάχθαι καὶ πράττειν ἀναξίως καὶ σεαυτοῦ καὶ τῶν ἐλπίδων: ἢ τῆς τιμῆς ἐφιέμενον περὶ τὰ καιριώτερα βλάπτεσθαι, τοῦ καπνοῦ γε μετέχοντα, εἰ καὶ μὴ τοῦ πυρός.