Augustine of Hippo, The Confessions

5. But for what fruit do they desire this? Do they wish me happiness when they learn how near, by Thy gift, I come unto Thee; and to pray for me, when they learn how much I am kept back by my own weight? To such will I declare myself. For it is no small fruit, O Lord my God, that by many thanks should be given to Thee on our behalf,706 2 Cor. i. 11. See x. sec 40, note 6, and sec. 53, above. and that by many Thou shouldest be entreated for us. Let the fraternal soul love that in me which Thou teachest should be loved, and lament that in me which Thou teachest should be lamented. Let a fraternal and not an alien soul do this, nor that “of strange children, whose mouth speaketh vanity, and their right hand is a right hand of falsehood,”707 Ps. cxliv. 11. That is, the artificer makes, God creates. The creation of matter is distinctively a doctrine of revelation. The ancient philosophers believed in the eternity of matter. As Lucretius puts it (i. 51): “Nullam rem e nihilo gigni divinitus unquam.” See Burton, Bampton Lectures, lect. iii. and notes 18–21, and Mansel, Bampton Lectures, lect. iii. note 12. See also p. 76, note 8, above, for the Manichæan doctrine as to the ὕλη; and The Unseen Universe, arts. 85, 86, 151, and 160, for the modern doctrine of “continuity.” See also Kalisch, Commentary on Gen. i. 1. but that fraternal one which, when it approves me, rejoices for me, but when it disapproves me, is sorry for me; because whether it approves or disapproves it loves me. To such will I declare myself; let them breathe freely at my good deeds, and sigh over my evil ones. My good deeds are Thy institutions and Thy gifts, my evil ones are my delinquencies and Thy judgments.708 In note 9, p. 79, we have seen how God makes man’s sin its own punishment. Reference may also be made to Augustin’s Con. Advers. Leg. et Proph. i. 14, where he argues that “the punishment of a man’s disobedience is found in himself, when he in his turn cannot get obedience even from himself.” And again, in his De Lib. Arb. v. 18, he says, God punishes by taking from him that which he does not use well, “et qui recte facere cum possit noluit amittat posse cum velit.” See also Serm. clxxi. 4, and Ep. cliii. Ps. xxxiii. 9. Let them breathe freely at the one, and sigh over the other; and let hymns and tears ascend into Thy sight out of the fraternal hearts—Thy censers.709 Rev. viii. 3. Ibid. ver. 6. And do Thou, O Lord, who takest delight in the incense of Thy holy temple, have mercy upon me according to Thy great mercy,710 Ps. li. l. “for Thy name’s sake;”711 Ps. xxv. 11. and on no account leaving what Thou hast begun in me, do Thou complete what is imperfect in me.

6. This is the fruit of my confessions, not of what I was, but of what I am, that I may confess this not before Thee only, in a secret exultation with trembling,712 Ps. ii. 11. and a secret sorrow with hope, but in the ears also of the believing sons of men,—partakers of my joy, and sharers of my mortality, my fellow-citizens and the companions of my pilgrimage, those who are gone before, and those that are to follow after, and the comrades of my way. These are Thy servants, my brethren, those whom Thou wishest to be Thy sons; my masters, whom Thou hast commanded me to serve, if I desire to live with and of Thee. But this Thy word were little to me did it command in speaking, without going before in acting. This then do I both in deed and word, this I do under Thy wings, in too great danger, were it not that my soul, under Thy wings, is subject unto Thee, and my weakness known unto Thee. I am a little one, but my Father liveth for ever, and my Defender is “sufficient”713 2 Cor. xii. 9. for me. For He is the same who begat me and who defends me; and Thou Thyself art all my good; even Thou, the Omnipotent, who art with me, and that before I am with Thee. To such, therefore, whom Thou commandest me to serve will I declare, not what I was, but what I now am, and what I still am. But neither do I judge myself.714 1 Cor. iv. 3. Thus then I would be heard.

CAPUT IV. Quod magni sint fructus hujusmodi confessionis.

5. Sed quo fructu id volunt? An congratulari mihi cupiunt cum audierint quantum ad te accedam munere tuo, et orare pro me cum audierint quantum retarder pondere meo? Indicabo me talibus. Non enim parvus est fructus, Domine Deus meus, ut a multis tibi gratiae agantur de nobis, et a multis rogeris pro nobis. Amet in me fraternus animus quod amandum doces, et doleat in me quod dolendum doces. Animus ille hoc faciat fraternus, non extraneus, non filiorum alienorum, quorum os locutum est vanitatem, et dextera eorum dextera iniquitatis (Psal. CXLIII, 8); sed fraternus ille qui cum approbat me, gaudet de me; cum autem improbat me, contristatur pro me: quia sive approbet me, sive improbet, diligit me. Indicabo me talibus; respirent in bonis meis, suspirent in malis meis. Bona mea instituta tua sunt et dona tua; mala mea delicta mea sunt et judicia tua Respirent in illis, et suspirent in his; et hymnus et fletus ascendant in conspectum tuum de fraternis cordibus, thuribulis tuis (Apoc. VIII, 3). Tu autem, Domine, delectatus odore sancti templi tui, miserere mei secundum magnam misericordiam tuam (Psal. L, 1), propter nomen tuum; et nequaquam deserens coepta tua, consumma imperfecta mea.

6. Hic est fructus confessionum mearum, non qualis fuerim, sed qualis sim, ut hoc confitear non tantum coram te secreta exsultatione cum tremore et secreto moerore cum spe (Philipp. II, 12); sed etiam in auribus credentium filiorum hominum, sociorum gaudii mei et consortium mortalitatis meae, civium meorum et mecum peregrinorum, praecedentium et consequentium et comitum viae meae. Hi sunt 0782 servi tui fratres mei, quos filios tuos esse voluisti, dominos meos quibus jussisti ut serviam, si volo tecum de te vivere. Et hoc mihi Verbum tuum parum erat si loquendo praeciperet, nisi et faciendo praeiret. Et ego id ago factis et dictis, id ago sub alis tuis nimis cum ingenti periculo; nisi quia sub alis tuis tibi subdita est anima mea, et infirmitas mea tibi nota est. Parvulus sum, sed vivit semper Pater meus, et idoneus est mihi tutor meus; idem ipse est enim qui genuit me et tuetur me: et tu ipse es omnia bona mea, tu omnipotens qui mecum es, et priusquam tecum sim. Indicabo ergo talibus qualibus jubes ut serviam, non quis fuerim, sed quis jam sim, et quis adhuc sim; sed neque meipsum dijudico (I Cor. IV, 3): sic itaque audiar.